Mi quinteto ideal — basketball_team 🇪🇸
5 miembros · TeamBranch
Diario de temporada
Clasificación
| # | Team | V | D | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Detroit Engine-Roar | 15 | 0 | 30 |
| 2 | Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 3 | San Antonio Skyscrapers | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 4 | Boston Ring-Chasers | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 5 | Cleveland Twin-Towers | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 6 | Denver Horse-Track | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 7 | My Team | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 8 | New York Over-Timers | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 9 | Houston Blast-Off | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 10 | Los Angeles Nursing-Home | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 11 | Minnesota Ice-Wall | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 12 | Toronto Border-Patrol | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 13 | Orlando Magic-Beans | 3 | 12 | 6 |
| 14 | Philadelphia Injury-Report | 3 | 12 | 6 |
| 15 | Phoenix No-Defense | 2 | 13 | 4 |
| 16 | Miami Heart-Attack | 1 | 14 | 2 |
Pretemporada
Let's not beat around the bush: tonight is going to be one hell of a show. The arena is packed, the air is unbreathable with tension, and the lights just went out for the pregame laser show. We're talking about a franchise that has weathered every storm: lockouts, star injuries, catastrophic trades, rebuilds that never seemed to end. And they're still here, standing tall, with the same fire in their belly. This club is a survivor. And when survivors bite, they don't let go. The team with no name, baby! Now let's talk about the man who moves jerseys faster than hot dogs at the concession stand. Luka Dončić. Just the name sends chills through the building. Standing at 201 cm, arms that cover half the court, and a basketball IQ so fast that defenders feel like they're playing in slow motion. This man doesn't walk, he glides. He doesn't jump, he launches into orbit. And when he locks eyes with you before a free throw, you feel like YOU'RE the one about to catch the ball in your face. The scary thing is that the more pressure rises, the more he rises with it. Fourth quarter, down by three, the opposing coach screaming, the crowd roaring... And he just shrugs, takes the ball, and nails a step-back three over three defenders draped all over him like it's a Tuesday morning shootaround drill. This is the kind of player you don't just build a team around, you build an era around him. And tonight, that era begins. Attention, things are about to get serious. Actually no, things are about to go completely off the rails. The front office signed Monkey D. Luffy. The man is a capitán de barco. Yes, you heard that right. A capitán de barco. On a basketball court. With su timón in his gym bag and zero understanding of what a pick-and-roll is. The coach says it's a "bet on raw athleticism" but between us, I'm pretty sure he lost a poker bet. Monkey D. Luffy had his first practice yesterday and asked if the free throw line was home plate. The teammates are dying laughing, the fans don't know whether to cry or applaud, and the GM was spotted updating his resume on LinkedIn. The budget is simple: it's not a budget anymore, it's a manifesto. The owner said "I don't give a damn about consequences" and he proved it. We're in financial territory that even Adam Silver didn't anticipate when he wrote the rules. Every extra dollar spent costs five dollars in tax, and guess what, they spend WAY too many extra dollars. The roster is an infernal machine, the bench is a thing of beauty, but the price is zero future. No picks, no possible trades, no plan B. It's the championship or a wall at 200 miles per hour. There is no middle ground.
Jornada 1 — vs Detroit Engine-Roar
100-122 (D)
Tip-off! Monkey D. Luffy gets us started! Let's go!
This first-ballot legend Kobe Bryant short-arms a sky hook from way beyond the arc! Not enough lift!
Luka Dončić passes to nobody! This jersey-selling name with a head-scratching decision!
Monkey D. Luffy can't stay in front! Comandarring the el buque oceánico doesn't build lateral quickness!
Monkey D. Luffy, this league veteran, knifes through for a deep three from the right corner! Wow!
Into the tunnel. Monkey D. Luffy grabs a banana on the way and devours it. Exclusive: Monkey D. Luffy was caught reading a philosophy book on the bench. It was Nietzsche. The players charge out of the tunnel. Smells like a comeback.
Luka Dončić fades away the towel! This franchise guy showing shaky emotions under pressure!
This potential GOAT LeBron James puts up a scoop layup but it won't fall! Off night!
LeBron James, this long boy, sets a brick-wall screen! Pure God-given talent on full display!
This max-contract guy Luka Dončić calls for a sub! Can't go anymore! Shaky emotions under pressure taking its toll!
This absolute legend LeBron James shakes hands and moves on. In the end, limited stamina proved costly.
LeBron James's lip is trembling. Kobe Bryant dodges the cameras by pulling up his hood. Final confession: I still don't know how to pronounce LeBron James's name. Forgive me. We're out. Up next: 'Say Yes to the Dress: Budget Three Fifty, Theme: Elastic.' Good luck.
Jornada 2 — vs Miami Heart-Attack
119-84 (V)
And we're underway! Kobe Bryant touches the rock first! This first-ballot legend looks eager!
Kobe Bryant, this absolute legend, operates under the basket with a reverse layup! Clinic!
LeBron James with the outlet pass! Coast-to-coast assist! Unreal swagger on that one!
Luka Dončić crosses over the leather with purpose! A bank shot! This elite player means business!
LeBron James digs in defensively! Iron discipline when the team needs stops!
The locker room fills up. Luka Dončić has already eaten three oranges. Did you know? Luka Dončić tried to become a rapper before basketball. The world dodged a bullet. Back for the second half. The coach slammed his fist on the table.
This world-class player Luka Dončić with a cold-blooded buzzer beater! No conscience!
Luka Dončić fires away and it's too easy! The lead is ballooning! Mercy rule!
This max-contract guy Luka Dončić runs the wrong play again! Coach is beside themselves!
Superman silences the away crowd! Ice-cold a chest bump! Love it!
Kobe Bryant grabs the game ball! This basketball god earned it tonight!
LeBron James does the floss while Monkey D. Luffy spins like a top. Superman just stands there, arms crossed. Cool. Yours truly held it together all evening without a bathroom break. That's professionalism. That's a wrap! And now, the network's masterpiece: 'My Cat, My Battle.' Don't miss the finale.
Jornada 3 — vs Orlando Magic-Beans
123-91 (V)
LeBron James crosses over into position! This global icon not wasting any time!
A double-clutch layup by Monkey D. Luffy! The building is rocking! This seasoned vet takeover!
This absolute legend Kobe Bryant takes the charge from the left corner! Gutsy play!
Superman lobs it perfectly! Arcing it with precision worthy of their bare hands!
This next-level player Monkey D. Luffy runs the pick-and-pop to perfection! Tactical mastery!
Halftime! Monkey D. Luffy walks barefoot on the cold tunnel tiles. I've been told Monkey D. Luffy always puts his left shoe on first. The one day he switched, gave up 40 points. We're back at it. The crowd had time to reload at the snack bar.
Monkey D. Luffy handles the ball like the su timón. A hook shot driving to the hoop! The precision of a capitán de barco!
LeBron James fires away to an eruption! An electric crowd! What a moment!
Luka Dončić, this headliner, communicates the switch! Next-level basketball IQ and vocal leadership!
Superman, this all-around player, is on a mission! Nothing can stop this hall-of-fame lock right now!
This player making noise Monkey D. Luffy seals the deal! Victory with a gym-rat work ethic!
LeBron James and Kobe Bryant share a 30-second hug. Monkey D. Luffy wants in. Gets pushed away. On my end, the AC in the booth broke down. I sweated more than Monkey D. Luffy. We're out. Up next: 'Say Yes to the Dress: Budget Three Fifty, Theme: Elastic.' Good luck.
Jornada 4 — vs Philadelphia Injury-Report
114-80 (V)
Luka Dončić, this reliable star, draws first blood! A layup to start!
A step-back three from LeBron James under the basket! That's a statement right there!
This headliner Luka Dončić finds the open man! Assist and a buzzer-beater!
Monkey D. Luffy spins and fires an and-one! This versatile guy lighting it up!
Luka Dončić, this mountain of a man, smothers the ball-handler! No options!
Halftime. The physio pounces on LeBron James to massage his thighs. Little scoop: LeBron James tried to bribe the DJ to play his song. The DJ agreed. Nobody liked it. Second half! The hardwood is about to shake again.
This household name LeBron James goes to work on the low block! A euro-step drops beautifully!
Superman spins without breaking a sweat! This hall-of-fame lock cruise control!
Kobe Bryant trips over the orange! Even this all-time great has those moments!
Monkey D. Luffy waves to the crowd! The wave of a capitán de barco finishing the el buque oceánico!
Luka Dončić dishes in triumph! The final buzzer sounds! That's a W!
LeBron James cries tears of joy in Superman's arms. Monkey D. Luffy is also crying but nobody knows why. Yours truly survived this game without losing his voice. It was touch and go. Thanks for tonight. Up next: 'American Ninja Warrior: No Elevator Edition.' Sixth floor, no landing.
Jornada 5 — vs Phoenix No-Defense
103-87 (V)
This established player Monkey D. Luffy means business! Fast start from way beyond the arc!
Monkey D. Luffy converts the and-one! Tough as comandarring the el buque oceánico all day!
This first-ballot legend Kobe Bryant with the weak-side left-handed block! Incredible help!
Luka Dončić, this mammoth, drops the dime! An off-the-charts basketball IQ passing on display!
Superman draws the double team! Attracting attention, the superhéroe is a magnet out there!
Halftime! Superman has the hardwood pattern imprinted on his elbow. Fun fact: Superman was voted best-looking player on the team. By his mom. In a poll she created herself. Here we go. Tactical adjustments have been made.
LeBron James buries a double-clutch layup from the right corner! This hall-of-fame lock is on fire tonight!
Luka Dončić steps back in front of the home faithful! A sold-out gym on fire! Beautiful!
LeBron James makes the extra pass! This absolute legend hockey assist for a pull-up jumper!
Remember this moment! Superman is making history with a scoop layup!
Superman finishes with a monster stat line! Numbers a superhéroe would be proud of!
Monkey D. Luffy climbs onto the scorer's table. Luka Dončić joins him. Security is unsure whether to intervene. I drank so much coffee tonight I'm going to commentate in my sleep. Thanks for being here. Coming up: 'Forbidden Zone: Behind the Scenes of a Vending Machine.'
Jornada 6 — vs Los Angeles Nursing-Home
122-76 (V)
LeBron James, this certified GOAT candidate, wins the opening tip! Great start for the team!
Kobe Bryant explodes and scores! A thunderous slam! This mountain of a man is a problem!
Luka Dončić, this titan, delivers the entry pass! Beautiful feed into the post!
A buzzer beater from Kobe Bryant at half court! That's a certified bucket-getter!
Kobe Bryant with the full-court pressure! This hall-of-fame lock making them uncomfortable!
Players head to the locker room. Luka Dončić has tape on three fingers. Little secret: Luka Dončić has a secret TikTok account with 12 followers. Posts cooking tutorials. Both teams emerge from the tunnel. The second half can begin.
LeBron James, this oversized freak, uses strength and skill for a hook shot! Complete player!
Superman posts up to yet another easy bucket! The floodgates opened!
The ref just asked Monkey D. Luffy to put the su timón away! Not regulation equipment!
LeBron James throws the finger guns at the crowd! An ice-cold stare at the opposing bench after a bank shot!
LeBron James, this household name, soaks in the moment! Victory at the buzzer! A chest bump!
Kobe Bryant dumps his Gatorade on Luka Dončić who screams because it was cold. Monkey D. Luffy piles on. Your favorite commentator survived. It's not much, but it's honest work. Thanks for tonight. Up next: 'American Ninja Warrior: No Elevator Edition.' Sixth floor, no landing.
Jornada 7 — vs Toronto Border-Patrol
119-87 (V)
This once-in-a-lifetime player Kobe Bryant opens the scoring! A two-handed slam! Early advantage!
Superman, this all-around player, posts up and delivers a fadeaway jumper! Textbook!
This potential GOAT Kobe Bryant with the behind-the-back dish! Highlight-reel pass!
LeBron James attacks past the defense for a free throw! Size advantage from this this colossus!
Superman slides to the passing lane and steals it! Freakish explosiveness!
Break. The coach is yelling in the tunnel, Superman picks up the pace. Anecdote: Superman fell asleep on the bench during an exhibition game. Still got named MVP. Tipoff! The ball bounces, the arena vibrates, we're back.
Superman rises and fires! Competing the game never felt this athletic!
Superman dominates wire to wire! Dominant as a superhéroe over the game!
LeBron James goes to work the wrong way on offense! This certified GOAT candidate needs a GPS!
Monkey D. Luffy with the victory dance after the and-one! This solid pro is fired up!
Superman, this swiss-army-knife type, takes the final bow! A raised fist! Dominant display!
Luka Dončić does the floss while Superman spins like a top. Kobe Bryant just stands there, arms crossed. Cool. Yours truly held it together all evening without a bathroom break. That's professionalism. We're done here. Up next: 'Top Chef: Microwave Edition.' Bon appetit.
Jornada 8 — vs Minnesota Ice-Wall
121-88 (V)
Luka Dončić, this oversized freak, is introduced and the arena explodes! This jersey-selling name is in the building!
A double-clutch layup from Luka Dončić! This All-Star caliber talent is putting on a show tonight!
This all-time great Kobe Bryant orchestrates the offense facing the rim! Maestro!
Monkey D. Luffy converts with authority! Same energy they bring to comandarring the el buque oceánico!
Luka Dončić with the chase-down sky-high block! What athleticism!
Halftime whistle. LeBron James spits into the trash can walking into the locker room. Locker room anecdote: LeBron James talks to a sock called 'Assistant Coach.' We don't judge. The players are back on the court. Here we go again!
Luka Dončić, this oversized freak, overpowers for a deep three! Size matters!
Superman even the deep bench is scoring! Complete team effort tonight!
This all-time great LeBron James trash talks then immediately misses! Karma!
Monkey D. Luffy celebrates with a victory dance! Mimicking comandarring the el buque oceánico on the court!
Luka Dončić, this colossus, carries the team to victory! MVP-level performance!
LeBron James mimes popping a champagne bottle. Kobe Bryant mimes chugging straight from it. During the break, I tried doing crunches behind the console. My back remembers. This was your favorite commentator. Coming up: 'Extreme Makeover: Garage Edition.' Don't change the channel. Or do.
Jornada 9 — vs Houston Blast-Off
113-94 (V)
LeBron James, this basketball god, embraces the wild stands! Game on!
A euro-step from Kobe Bryant! That's eyes in the back of the head at the highest level!
This global icon Superman with a surgical steal facing the rim! Intimidating!
Superman dishes a beautiful pass! Special delivery from this superhéroe!
Luka Dončić, this established star, manages the clock beautifully in the closing moments!
Break. LeBron James's socks are soaking wet — quick change on the spot. Did you know LeBron James entered the dunk contest... At 5'9"? Courage knows no height. We're back at it. The crowd had time to reload at the snack bar.
LeBron James with the decisive scoop layup! Scary good handles when it matters most!
The arena trembles! Kobe Bryant with the play and palpable tension follows!
Monkey D. Luffy sets the perfect screen! Built like a capitán de barco who doesn't skip leg day!
LeBron James, this absolute unit, embodies the spirit of competition! What a show!
Superman punches the air at game's end! Victory! The superhéroe did it!
LeBron James and Monkey D. Luffy lap the court arm in arm, singing. Off-key. During the third quarter, I spilled my soup. Yes, I had soup in the booth. Don't judge. See you soon. Coming up: 'Extreme Couponing: Family of Eight at Walmart.' Double episode.
Jornada 10 — vs Denver Horse-Track
91-104 (D)
Luka Dončić fires away onto the floor! The crowd roars for this max-contract guy!
Monkey D. Luffy with a wild attempt! This respected competitor not finding the range tonight!
This bonafide star Luka Dončić with turnover number lengths ahead! Defense that's basically a suggestion is piling up!
Monkey D. Luffy gets crossed over! Ankles broken like the el buque oceánico on a rough day!
This generational talent Superman erupts for a sky hook! The floodgates are open!
Halftime. Superman's hair is completely soaked, like climbing out of a pool. Confession: Superman tried yoga. Lasted two sessions before declaring it a combat sport. And we're off! The energy in the arena just went up a notch.
Kobe Bryant, this tower, shows negative body language! Limited stamina creeping in!
LeBron James fires a euro-step in transition but can't connect! Limited stamina showing!
Luka Dončić sets the screen at the perfect angle! This max-contract guy cerebral play!
Monkey D. Luffy is out on their feet! Running on fumes and pure capitán de barco stubbornness!
Monkey D. Luffy walks off in defeat! Even a capitán de barco's skills couldn't save tonight!
Monkey D. Luffy walks toward the tunnel without a word. LeBron James stares at the scoreboard as if it might change. I drank so much coffee tonight I'm going to commentate in my sleep. Thanks for being here. Coming up: 'Forbidden Zone: Behind the Scenes of a Vending Machine.'
Jornada 11 — vs New York Over-Timers
123-94 (V)
This absolute legend LeBron James gets the crowd going early! The energy is building!
Kobe Bryant pulls up and drills an and-one! Can't teach that!
Superman plays the passing angle perfectly! Deflection by this once-in-a-lifetime player!
LeBron James, this first-ballot legend, draws the double and finds the open shooter! Nerves of steel!
Kobe Bryant, this 7-footer, positions perfectly for the offensive rebound! Unreal swagger!
Halftime. Monkey D. Luffy throws his towel on the floor walking in. Did you know Monkey D. Luffy knits to unwind? Made a scarf in New York Over-Timers's colors. By accident, obviously. Tipoff! The ball bounces, the arena vibrates, we're back.
LeBron James, this 7-footer, showcases eyes in the back of the head with a gorgeous hook shot!
The arena is electric! This next-level player Monkey D. Luffy thriving in a cathedral silence!
Luka Dončić puts ego aside! The team comes first for this multi-time All-Star!
This global icon LeBron James digs deep! Finding reserves nobody knew existed!
Final buzzer! Monkey D. Luffy's capitán de barco shift on the gymnasium ends in triumph!
LeBron James cries tears of joy in Kobe Bryant's arms. Luka Dončić is also crying but nobody knows why. My evening in summary: yell, drink coffee, yell again, spill the coffee, yell some more. Thanks for tonight. Up next: 'American Ninja Warrior: No Elevator Edition.' Sixth floor, no landing.
Jornada 12 — vs Cleveland Twin-Towers
96-100 (D)
Monkey D. Luffy sets the tone early! The capitán de barco came to play tonight!
Superman hooks it in! The arc of a superhéroe swinging their bare hands!
LeBron James gets burned on the drive! Injury-prone body in lateral movement!
Kobe Bryant dunks the Spalding but it won't fall! Cold streak continues!
Luka Dončić takes off and scores! The comeback is on! This franchise guy believing!
The players head in. Superman slips on the wet tunnel floor. True story: Superman walked into the wrong locker room during his first game against Cleveland Twin-Towers. Awkward. Let's go, we're back. The crowd claps in rhythm.
This basketball god Kobe Bryant gets the look but can't convert! Sometimes predictable game at the worst time!
Superman, this versatile guy, sits down hard on the bench! Tendency to force bad shots written all over his face!
Win or lose, Monkey D. Luffy has earned respect tonight! This established player warrior spirit!
LeBron James throws it away with the game on the line! Heavy feet!
Monkey D. Luffy lets fly to the tunnel in disappointment. This established player will learn from this.
Superman collapses into the first available chair. Monkey D. Luffy stays standing, eyes glazed over. Behind the scenes, I learned Monkey D. Luffy was also a capitán de barco in a past life. You can feel it in the game. Good night everyone! And now, the show nobody asked for: 'Pigeon Hunters.'
Jornada 13 — vs Boston Ring-Chasers
101-123 (D)
Luka Dončić, this oversized freak, announced to huge cheers! A Playoff atmosphere!
LeBron James, this undisputed superstar, comes up empty! A scoop layup off target back to the basket!
LeBron James, this mountain of a man, commits the travel! Ego the size of Texas in the footwork!
Monkey D. Luffy gives up the back door! Lack of consistency when overplaying!
Superman with a layup in the paint! Competing the game in tight spaces!
Rest. Luka Dončić buries his head in a wet towel and doesn't move. Physio's confession: Luka Dončić purrs when you massage his calves. Like a cat. A big cat. Here we go again. The players have changed jerseys.
Monkey D. Luffy walks away muttering! Muttering about the el buque oceánico under their breath!
Kobe Bryant with a rough euro-step from the right corner! Sometimes predictable game at the worst time!
Monkey D. Luffy with the perfect cut! Precision of a capitán de barco with the su timón!
Superman cramps up! Muscles tight from their bare hands and the Spalding double duty!
Monkey D. Luffy, this respected competitor, will be back stronger. This defeat fuels the fire.
Luka Dončić's eyes are red, jaw tight. Kobe Bryant apologizes to the coach, voice cracking. I spent this game nervously chewing gum. I'm on my seventh piece. That was beautiful. And now: 'House Hunters International: 90-Square-Foot Studio, Wall View.' A steal.
Jornada 14 — vs San Antonio Skyscrapers
86-111 (D)
Monkey D. Luffy, this smooth operator, takes the court! The incredible energy is electric!
Luka Dončić misfires under the basket! Even this established star has off nights!
Superman botches the handoff! Even their bare hands exchanges go smoother!
Superman, this solid build, gets exploited in the switch! Limited stamina exposed in the mismatch!
Luka Dončić with the highlight-reel and-one! This max-contract guy owning the moment!
That's a cut. LeBron James stumbles slightly reaching the locker room. Confession: LeBron James believes the away locker room is haunted. Refuses to go in alone. Back for seconds. The court is shining, and so are the players.
Kobe Bryant slams the ball in frustration! Defense that's basically a suggestion on full display!
Monkey D. Luffy shoots short! Not enough juice! Even a capitán de barco would cringe!
LeBron James, this titan, uses the jab step to freeze the defender! Crafty!
This household name Kobe Bryant can barely jump! The springs are gone at the top of the key!
This big-name player Luka Dončić stares at the scoreboard. Not the outcome this big-name player wanted.
LeBron James sits down on the hardwood, head on his knees. Kobe Bryant puts a hand on his shoulder without saying a word. My evening in summary: yell, drink coffee, yell again, spill the coffee, yell some more. Until next time! Up next: 'Life Unplugged: A Day Without WiFi.' A shocking documentary.
Jornada 15 — vs Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest
103-91 (V)
Opening possession for Superman! First touch, like first touch of their bare hands!
Kobe Bryant scores with pure God-given talent. A buzzer-beater in transition! Too smooth!
Monkey D. Luffy rotates perfectly for the monster swat! Natural-born leadership on full display!
Kobe Bryant rises up and dishes! Gorgeous feed off the pick and roll! A killer instinct!
Superman outsmarts the opponent! The brains of a superhéroe with their bare hands!
End of the first half. Kobe Bryant is beet red but still standing. Did you know Kobe Bryant started basketball because he was terrible at soccer? Sometimes failure leads to greatness. Both teams emerge from the tunnel. The second half can begin.
A finger roll! Luka Dončić cannot be stopped tonight! This franchise guy is locked in!
Listen to that roar! Superman goes to work and the place explodes!
Kobe Bryant, this towering presence, sets the perfect screen! An off-the-charts basketball IQ for the team!
This will be talked about for years! Luka Dončić with a deep three! Iconic!
Monkey D. Luffy, this well-respected player, high-fives the bench! A primal scream! Team effort!
LeBron James mimes popping a champagne bottle. Kobe Bryant mimes chugging straight from it. Tonight I yelled so loud the guy in the next booth asked me to keep it down. Mid-game. Good evening! Up next: 'Fixer Upper: Renovating a Studio on a Twelve-Dollar Budget.' Challenge accepted.
My Team ends the season #7 with a 10W-5L record. Season MVP: Luka Dončić.
Diario de la temporada
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