Mijn ideale starting five — basketball_team 🇳🇱
5 leden · TeamBranch
Seizoensjournaal
Klassement
| # | Team | W | V | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Detroit Engine-Roar | 14 | 1 | 28 |
| 2 | Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 3 | San Antonio Skyscrapers | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 4 | Boston Ring-Chasers | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 5 | Cleveland Twin-Towers | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 6 | Houston Blast-Off | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 7 | Toronto Border-Patrol | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 8 | New York Over-Timers | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 9 | Denver Horse-Track | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 10 | Minnesota Ice-Wall | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 11 | Miami Heart-Attack | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 12 | Phoenix No-Defense | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 13 | Los Angeles Nursing-Home | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 14 | Philadelphia Injury-Report | 3 | 12 | 6 |
| 15 | Orlando Magic-Beans | 2 | 13 | 4 |
| 16 | My Team | 1 | 14 | 2 |
Voorseizoen
Good evening everyone and fasten your seatbelts because tonight we are not doing this gently. The arena is already sweating, the DJ cranked the volume so high the hardwood is vibrating, and there's a guy in the third row who painted his chest in the team colors even though it's freezing outside. That's devotion. That's basketball madness. And the franchise rolling in tonight deserves every decibel of this insane atmosphere. They've been through the hell of winless stretches and the ecstasy of Finals appearances, and honestly, nobody ever knows what they're going to pull off. That's what makes this sport so damn beautiful. The team with no name, baby! Alright, let's not kid ourselves, if the arena is packed to the gills, it's because of THE phenomenon. This guy isn't just a basketball player, he's a walking cheat code on the hardwood: give it up for Stephen Curry! Picture this: standing at 188 cm, but he handles the rock with the agility of a 5'10" point guard and launches missiles from 30 feet like he's at shootaround. When he attacks the paint, it's simple, he's a freight train: either you get out of the way, or you end up on his poster doing the rounds on social media for a week straight. The scary thing is that the more pressure rises, the more he rises with it. Fourth quarter, down by three, the opposing coach screaming, the crowd roaring... And he just shrugs, takes the ball, and nails a step-back three over three defenders draped all over him like it's a Tuesday morning shootaround drill. This is the kind of player you don't just build a team around, you build an era around him. And tonight, that era begins. Okay, this is either pure genius or a complete mental breakdown, I honestly can't tell yet. The wild card, the stroke of brilliance or insanity depending on how many beers you've had, is that the coach decided to pull a move never before seen in league history: he signed Iron Man, his brother-in-law and a superheld by trade, on a ten-day contract. The guy showed up to the bench wearing a bucket hat, carrying bare hands and a cooler, surrounded by 7-foot giants who weigh three times as much. Apparently the coach's theory is that if Iron Man can place a basketball with the same precision he uses for the game to "bullseye" the opposing center's head, we've got the play of the century. So far, the guy's biggest achievement is attempting a three-pointer with an underhand toss and asking the ref where the jack ball was. It's absolute madness, the fans are split between hysterical laughter and total despair, but one thing's for sure: no one's ever seen a timeout with such a strong smell of beef jerky and cheap beer on the bench. Budget-wise, they're playing by the rules. Barely. It's clean, but it's tight. You've got one modest star, two or three decent role players, and after that... It's a black hole on the bench. They're trying to build smart without going broke, but every time a player asks for a raise, they start sweating. This is the definition of a "middle of the pack" squad.
Speeldag 1 — vs Detroit Engine-Roar
80-124 (V)
Jezus Christus bounces the Spalding pre-game! Getting that rhythm going!
Thanos, this all-around player, double-clutches and misses! Indecision from this unknown gem!
Thanos coughs up the Spalding! Shaky emotions under pressure strikes again from downtown!
Hulk overcommits! Going all-in like a wetenschapper on the de verborgen waarheid, but wrong!
This certified bucket Stephen Curry throws an elbow in frustration! Shaky emotions under pressure on full display!
The players disappear into the tunnel. Hulk asks for an ice pack. Did you know Hulk keeps a photo of his dog in his right shoe? It's a Bichon. We're back! The coach drew stuff on the whiteboard, let's see if it works.
Stephen Curry fires a buzzer beater in transition but can't connect! Limited stamina showing!
This living legend Iron Man calls for a sub! Can't go anymore! Injury-prone body taking its toll!
Stephen Curry with a wild pass that sails out! This reliable star giving it away!
Stephen Curry gets a technical for complaining! Ego the size of Texas on full display!
Thanos walks off in silence. This hidden prospect gave it all but it wasn't enough.
Iron Man stares at his hands like he doesn't recognize them. Hulk exhales. Again. And again. Tonight my voice traveled three octaves. Baritone to soprano. Basketball does that to you. Alright, good night! Up next: 'Planet Earth: Exploring the World from My Couch.' Immersive documentary.
Speeldag 2 — vs Miami Heart-Attack
86-118 (V)
Stephen Curry, this tweener, announced to huge cheers! A Playoff atmosphere!
This big-name player Stephen Curry misfires again! Limited stamina could cost the team!
Thanos, this smooth operator, commits the travel! Occasional mental lapses in the footwork!
Stephen Curry, this all-around player, gets dunked on at the top of the key! Poster material!
Iron Man posts up away from the huddle! This potential GOAT in a dark place mentally!
Break. Jezus Christus collapses next to the vending machine. Anecdote: Jezus Christus lost a bet and had to wear the center's shoes during warm-ups. Size 16. Play resumes! The coach set a few things straight in the locker room.
Thanos gets a clean look but defense that's basically a suggestion costs the bucket!
Iron Man is gassed! More tired than after a full day of competing the game!
Hulk loses the pill! A wetenschapper would never be this careless!
This first-ballot legend Jezus Christus can't believe the call! Arguing with the ref!
This guy nobody was talking about Thanos shakes hands and moves on. In the end, shaky emotions under pressure proved costly.
Hulk kicks his towel across the floor. Thanos has already left for the locker room, alone. On my end, I ate peanuts through the entire third quarter. Salt is my drug of choice. We're out! And now, 'House Hunters: Broom Closet Edition.' Cozy open concept.
Speeldag 3 — vs Orlando Magic-Beans
111-98 (W)
Hulk comes out hot! Heated up and ready, the wetenschapper means business!
A euro-step from Stephen Curry! This certified bucket reminding everyone why they're on top!
Thanos, this solid build, swats it into the third row! A commanding rebound!
Thanos with the hockey assist! That extra pass, beautiful basketball!
Stephen Curry, this combo guard, exploits the mismatch from way beyond the arc! Smart play!
The players head in. Thanos slips on the wet tunnel floor. Confession: Thanos calls mom after every loss. And every win. And also on Tuesdays. Here we go. Tactical adjustments have been made.
A pull-up jumper by Stephen Curry from mid-range! An off-the-charts basketball IQ in every fiber!
Deafening noise! Stephen Curry posts up and the building shakes!
Jezus Christus, this tweener, sets the perfect screen! Next-level basketball IQ for the team!
Remember this moment! Stephen Curry is making history with a buzzer-beater!
Game over! Iron Man proved a superheld belongs on the palace of hoops with their bare hands!
Stephen Curry climbs onto the scorer's table. Iron Man joins him. Security is unsure whether to intervene. On my end, the AC in the booth broke down. I sweated more than Iron Man. Thanks for being here. Coming up: 'Forbidden Zone: Behind the Scenes of a Vending Machine.'
Speeldag 4 — vs Philadelphia Injury-Report
89-130 (V)
The game begins and Iron Man is ready! You can see an unmatched feel for the game written all over his face!
Stephen Curry penetrates the leather into nothing! Limited stamina on full display tonight!
Iron Man with the careless pass! Competing the game with more care, please!
Thanos, this combo guard, loses the assignment! Easy bucket over limited stamina!
Hulk mouths off on a strategic timeout! A wetenschapper venting about the de verborgen waarheid!
Rest. Iron Man buries his head in a wet towel and doesn't move. Locker room intel: Iron Man has a tattoo of a basketball hoop on his butt. That's commitment. The hardwood awaits. Here we go for the second half.
Jezus Christus crosses over the leather but it won't fall! Cold streak continues!
This household name Jezus Christus is a warrior but the body says no! The contest of war!
This max-contract guy Stephen Curry with turnover number lengths ahead! Tendency to force bad shots is piling up!
Hulk, this household name, barks at the teammate! Tendency to rush taking over!
Thanos, this versatile guy, trudges off the gymnasium. Lessons to take from this one.
Hulk presses his forehead against the tunnel glass. Stephen Curry walks right past without noticing. I got a text from Hulk after the game. Just kidding. Nobody texts me. Off to bed! And now: 'Jeopardy: Cafeteria Trivia Edition.'
Speeldag 5 — vs Phoenix No-Defense
84-129 (V)
Stephen Curry takes the floor with that look in his eyes! He came to play tonight!
Air ball from Hulk! Being a wetenschapper doesn't help with shooting, apparently!
Hulk turns it over in the perimeter! Butterfingers from this wetenschapper!
Iron Man beaten off the dribble! Quicker than the game slipping from a superheld!
This who-is-this-guy player Thanos hangs the head after the miss! Deflated in transition!
The players file out. Stephen Curry exchanges a tense look with the coach. Did you know Stephen Curry started basketball because he was terrible at soccer? Sometimes failure leads to greatness. The buzzer calls the players. Time for the show, act II.
This undisputed superstar Iron Man misses the mark! A fadeaway jumper goes begging from the left corner!
Thanos drives but the legs won't cooperate! Tendency to force bad shots catching up!
Jezus Christus blows past the leather right to the defense! Costly mistake by this potential GOAT!
Stephen Curry glares at the scoreboard! This top-tier talent not happy with the situation!
Iron Man leaves the gymnasium with dignity! The dignity of a superheld with their bare hands!
Iron Man collapses into the first available chair. Jezus Christus stays standing, eyes glazed over. Confession: I nearly fell asleep during the second quarter. The third woke me right up. Good night everyone! Up next: 'Worst Cooks in America: Boiling an Egg Without Breaking It.' Challenge accepted.
Speeldag 6 — vs Los Angeles Nursing-Home
84-106 (V)
Jezus Christus gets the starting nod! A messias starting with their bare hands confidence!
Hulk with the off-balance buzzer beater! This certified GOAT candidate couldn't set the feet!
Hulk tries to be too fancy and loses the ball! Limited stamina in the decision-making!
Iron Man gives up the easy bucket! Easier than competing the game!
Hulk scores off the inbound! That's the preparation of a wetenschapper right there!
The players disappear into the tunnel. Thanos asks for an ice pack. Fun fact: Thanos tried to patent a celebration after a three-pointer. The application was rejected. Tipoff! The ball bounces, the arena vibrates, we're back.
Hulk storms to the bench! This global icon is visibly upset!
Hulk fires and misses from under the basket. Should have stuck with the de verborgen waarheid!
Stephen Curry pushes the pace in transition! A killer instinct showing in every play!
This jersey-selling name Stephen Curry signals to the bench! Needs a blow! Ego the size of Texas!
Iron Man vows to come back stronger! Stronger than their bare hands reinforced with the game!
Jezus Christus refuses to watch the replay on the jumbotron. Stephen Curry watches it and immediately regrets it. During the break, I tried to juggle three balls. My cameraman filmed everything. It'll come out someday. Alright, good night! Up next: 'Secret Life of Your Mailman.' Episode 47.
Speeldag 7 — vs Toronto Border-Patrol
88-133 (V)
Stephen Curry, this guy everybody knows, wins the opening tip! Great start for the team!
Iron Man rattles in and out! The game never teases a superheld like that!
Hulk, this all-around player, gets stripped at half court! Defense that's basically a suggestion exposed!
Thanos, this tweener, fouls unnecessarily from the left corner! Tendency to rush!
Hulk, this combo guard, sits down hard on the bench! Occasional mental lapses written all over his face!
Halftime. Hulk throws his towel on the floor walking in. Little scoop: Hulk collects Pokemon cards. That Charizard is worth more than his first contract. We're back! The players look fired up.
Thanos drives the damn ball awkwardly! The touch just isn't there for this dude out of nowhere!
Stephen Curry is cramping up! This multi-time All-Star trying to shake it off! Occasional mental lapses!
Stephen Curry with the lazy pass! Shaky emotions under pressure leading to easy points!
Jezus Christus posts up the towel! This once-in-a-lifetime player showing heavy feet!
Iron Man absorbs the defeat! Taking it on the chin, a superheld knows tough days!
Stephen Curry scratches the back of his neck nervously. Iron Man has the look of someone who has seen things. Meanwhile, your favorite commentator spilled coffee on the mixing board. Twice. Thanks for being here. Coming up: 'Forbidden Zone: Behind the Scenes of a Vending Machine.'
Speeldag 8 — vs Minnesota Ice-Wall
77-122 (V)
Thanos, this combo guard, sets the tone immediately! Freakish explosiveness from the jump!
Hulk takes a tough bucket and it doesn't go! Injury-prone body in shot selection!
Stephen Curry, this versatile guy, telegraphs the pass! Intercepted from mid-range!
Stephen Curry, this swiss-army-knife type, lets the shooter get free from the right corner! Costly lapse!
Iron Man shakes their head! A superheld who can't believe that just happened!
Break. Hulk collapses next to the vending machine. Anecdote: Hulk slipped on a banana peel during practice. The videos leaked. The internet never forgets. The arena lights up, the players are back. Game on.
Thanos, this all-around player, can't finish from the right corner! That one stings!
Stephen Curry is gassed! This certified bucket bent over at half court! Sometimes predictable game catching up!
This jersey-selling name Stephen Curry commits the offensive foul! Turnover back to the basket!
Stephen Curry can't mask the disappointment! This All-Star caliber talent wearing it on the sleeve!
Iron Man walks off in defeat! Even a superheld's skills couldn't save tonight!
Jezus Christus stands alone at center court as the lights go dim. Hulk comes back to get him. As for me, I powered through three coffees and a gas station sandwich. The glamorous life of sports journalism. That's it for tonight. Coming up: 'Nailed It: Cakes Ruined by My Mother-in-Law.'
Speeldag 9 — vs Houston Blast-Off
81-123 (V)
Iron Man steps onto the hardwood! From competing the game to this, game time!
Stephen Curry spins but overcooks it! Injury-prone body showing up again!
This franchise guy Stephen Curry with a careless turnover! Gift-wrapped for the opponent!
This guy with rings on every finger Iron Man picks up the cheap foul! Shaky emotions under pressure showing!
Jezus Christus, this generational talent, with the frustrated foul! Lack of consistency in tough moments!
Time to breathe. Stephen Curry has both hands on both knees, completely cooked. Confession: Stephen Curry calls mom after every loss. And every win. And also on Tuesdays. Alright, it's time. The second half waits for no one.
Stephen Curry misses the open look! This max-contract guy can't believe it! Lack of consistency!
Iron Man gets the mercy sub! Mercy, like a superheld begging the game for mercy!
Iron Man loses the basketball in traffic! This household name can't afford that!
Stephen Curry, this bonafide star, refuses to high-five! Occasional mental lapses hurting the chemistry!
Jezus Christus refuses to make excuses! A messias owns the game failures too!
Jezus Christus bites the inside of his cheek. Hulk pinches the bridge of his nose. Tonight I had a revelation: Hulk runs exactly like my neighbor when he misses the bus. Good evening! Coming up: 'Dancing with the Stars: My Cousin's Wedding Edition.' Open bar.
Speeldag 10 — vs Denver Horse-Track
85-113 (V)
Iron Man locks eyes with the opponent! The stare of a superheld who means business!
Iron Man denied by the basket! Even a superheld can't pry it open!
Stephen Curry with the backcourt violation! This max-contract guy under too much pressure!
This diamond in the rough Thanos gives up the offensive rebound! Hot head when boxing out!
Jezus Christus hits nothing but net! Pure as a messias's work with their bare hands!
Halftime. Stephen Curry glances at his phone for two seconds and puts it back. The staff told me Stephen Curry sings in the shower. Badly. Very badly. Resumption imminent. The players wrap up their express warm-up.
Hulk buries their face! Hidden from view, the wetenschapper can't watch!
Hulk rattles it out! Shaking the arena with the hun laboratoriumnotitieboek intensity!
Stephen Curry attacks the ball out of the trap! Natural-born leadership under pressure!
Iron Man cramps up! Muscles tight from their bare hands and the ball double duty!
Jezus Christus shakes hands through the pain! A messias who respects their bare hands and the game!
Jezus Christus isolates in a corner, back against the wall. Iron Man tries to talk. He raises a hand to say no. I learned that Jezus Christus's father was a superheld. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Good night! And now, 'The Bachelor: Stray Cat Edition.' Who will find love in this dumpster?
Speeldag 11 — vs New York Over-Timers
92-126 (V)
Stephen Curry, this do-it-all player, takes the court! The packed arena is electric!
Stephen Curry with a wild attempt! This certified bucket not finding the range tonight!
This total unknown Thanos dribbles off the foot! Unforced error!
Hulk gambles for the steal and pays the price! Limited stamina!
Iron Man kicks the air! The frustration of a superheld who knows they can do better!
Halftime. The doctor examines Jezus Christus's shoulder while the others catch their breath. Fun fact: Jezus Christus tried to patent a celebration after a three-pointer. The application was rejected. Both teams emerge from the tunnel. The second half can begin.
Jezus Christus can't buy a shot! Wouldn't happen with the game, a messias always hits!
Hulk can barely run! The allotted time harder than the allotted time of ontdekkenning the de verborgen waarheid!
Stephen Curry dribbles into a dead end from mid-range! Turnover! Shaky emotions under pressure!
Stephen Curry mutters to himself walking back! This established star fighting inner demons!
Hulk had the chances but couldn't convert. This generational talent left wanting.
Hulk's brow is furrowed, lips pressed thin. Jezus Christus breathes through his nose, hard, steady, trying to calm down. I learned that Hulk's father was a superheld. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. We're done for tonight. And now: 'Ancient Aliens: The True History of the Coffee Break.'
Speeldag 12 — vs Cleveland Twin-Towers
88-120 (V)
This guy nobody was talking about Thanos comes out aggressive! Opens with a fadeaway jumper at half court!
Jezus Christus can't find the range! Their bare hands has better accuracy than that!
Stephen Curry throws it into the stands! What was that from this multi-time All-Star!
Hulk gets posted up and scored on! This global icon overpowered!
This household name Iron Man stares at the ref! That look could freeze water!
Break. Thanos collapses on the locker room floor, arms spread wide. Fun fact: Thanos was voted best-looking player on the team. By his mom. In a poll she created herself. The tunnel spits the players out. The war resumes.
Jezus Christus clanks another one off the rim! This global icon needs to find rhythm!
Hulk finds a second wind! The wetenschapper engine roars back to life!
Stephen Curry, this versatile guy, gets the ball poked away! Tendency to force bad shots when protecting the rock!
This basketball god Iron Man gets into it with the opponent! Tempers flaring!
Hulk leaves the field house quietly! Quiet as a wetenschapper after the de verborgen waarheid setback!
Jezus Christus claps his hands in frustration. Thanos clenches his jaw so hard you can hear it from here. Your commentator broke his personal screaming record tonight. My throat is not thanking me. Thanks for tonight. And now: '60 Minutes: The Secrets of the Office Coffee Machine.'
Speeldag 13 — vs Boston Ring-Chasers
79-123 (V)
This absolute legend Jezus Christus gets the crowd going early! The energy is building!
Hulk misses the open look! A wetenschapper never misses the de verborgen waarheid... But misses the leather!
This living legend Jezus Christus commits the 5-second violation! Clock management lack of consistency!
Thanos lunges the wrong direction! Fake had this surprise package fooled!
Jezus Christus picks up the second technical! This absolute legend ejected! Limited stamina!
Back in the locker room, Stephen Curry sits down and stares at the ceiling. Rumor has it Stephen Curry has been wearing the same lucky underwear for three seasons. The medical staff is concerned. The players are back. The court had time to dry, at least.
Hulk, this solid build, gets stuffed trying a pull-up jumper! Denied!
Jezus Christus soldiers on! The soldier who competes the game with their bare hands!
Iron Man with the travel! Footwork confusion worthy of a lost superheld!
Iron Man, this little guy, throws the hands up! Exasperated on the low block!
This first-ballot legend Iron Man congratulates the opponent. Class in defeat from this first-ballot legend.
Iron Man has bags under his eyes that weren't there before the game. Stephen Curry has aged ten years in forty minutes. I spent my evening screaming into a microphone, and honestly, I'd do it all over again. Good evening! Now: 'Destination Unknown: The Roundabout in Scranton, PA.' Total adventure.
Speeldag 14 — vs San Antonio Skyscrapers
85-120 (V)
Jezus Christus huddles with the team! Huddling up, the messias strategizes!
Hulk, this guy with rings on every finger, comes up empty! A scoop layup off target driving to the hoop!
Thanos lets fly carelessly and gets stripped! Another giveaway!
Thanos, this versatile guy, gets blown by on the perimeter! Sometimes predictable game in the legs!
Stephen Curry, this swiss-army-knife type, waves off the play call! Defense that's basically a suggestion hurting the team!
Break. Hulk collapses next to the vending machine. Rumor has it Hulk tried to recruit the pizza delivery guy for the team. The guy was 6'9". Let's go. The arena rumbles, the players answer.
This basketball god Jezus Christus shanks a scoop layup in the paint! That's uncharacteristic!
Stephen Curry short-arms the shot from fatigue! This franchise guy has nothing left!
Jezus Christus loses possession! The game never leaves a messias's hands like that!
Hulk argues with the ref! The same passion they bring to ontdekkenning the de verborgen waarheid!
Hulk consoles teammates! The heart of a wetenschapper in that moment!
Stephen Curry stares at his hands like he doesn't recognize them. Iron Man exhales. Again. And again. Tonight my colleague told me I smell like stress. I told him it was my cologne. Until next time! Up next: 'Life Unplugged: A Day Without WiFi.' A shocking documentary.
Speeldag 15 — vs Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest
76-120 (V)
Stephen Curry looks dialed in from the start! Ridiculous creativity preparation showing!
Jezus Christus posts up the Spalding right into the defender's hands! Occasional mental lapses!
Iron Man with the bad read! Misreading the play like misreading the game!
Iron Man, this undersized dog, gets exploited in the switch! Hot head exposed in the mismatch!
Thanos lets fly and kicks the stanchion! This guy nobody was talking about losing composure!
Both teams head to the locker room. Jezus Christus wipes his forehead with his jersey. Anecdote: Jezus Christus threw up before his first pro game. No more pre-game burgers ever since. We pick up right where we left off. Time to play.
Hulk launches and misses! The basketball isn't the de verborgen waarheid, and it shows!
Jezus Christus, this smooth operator, is drenched in sweat! Emptying the tank!
Stephen Curry takes off into a trap! Tendency to rush when reading the defense!
Thanos drops the head after another miss! Lack of consistency sapping the confidence!
Stephen Curry fades away to the tunnel in disappointment. This All-Star caliber talent will learn from this.
Iron Man chews his nails on the bench. Thanos stares at his shoes like they're the source of the problem. I got a text from Iron Man after the game. Just kidding. Nobody texts me. We're done! And now: 'The Voice: Office Karaoke After Two Beers Edition.'
My Team finishes #16 (1W-14L). Better luck next season! MVP: Stephen Curry.
Season journal
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