My dream starting five — basketball_team 🇺🇾
5 miembros · TeamBranch
Diario de temporada
Clasificación
| # | Team | V | D | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Detroit Engine-Roar | 14 | 1 | 28 |
| 2 | Boston Ring-Chasers | 13 | 2 | 26 |
| 3 | Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 4 | San Antonio Skyscrapers | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 5 | Cleveland Twin-Towers | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 6 | New York Over-Timers | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 7 | Minnesota Ice-Wall | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 8 | Denver Horse-Track | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 9 | My Team | 7 | 8 | 14 |
| 10 | Houston Blast-Off | 7 | 8 | 14 |
| 11 | Phoenix No-Defense | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 12 | Toronto Border-Patrol | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 13 | Los Angeles Nursing-Home | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 14 | Miami Heart-Attack | 2 | 13 | 4 |
| 15 | Philadelphia Injury-Report | 1 | 14 | 2 |
| 16 | Orlando Magic-Beans | 1 | 14 | 2 |
Pretemporada
Buckle up, pull your visor down, and clench everything you've got because tonight we are NOT talking about some pickup game at the park. Hell no. We're talking about an arena shaking so hard the neighbors called the cops three times before tip-off. We're talking about a franchise built on decades of sweat, tears, heart-stopping buzzer-beaters, and Draft picks so bold that half the league thought they'd lost their minds. And yet, here they are, back and hungrier than ever. The team with no name, baby! Listen, I've watched hundreds of players come and go in my broadcasting career, but Luka Dončić is something else entirely. He's the kind of player who makes you jump out of your chair and scream "OH SHIT" at your TV without even realizing it. Standing at 201 cm, a wingspan like a pterodactyl, and a killer instinct that even the coaches can't explain. This man feels the game. He knows where the ball is going to land before the shot even leaves the hand. He reads passes like he's reading minds. At this level, it's not basketball anymore, it's straight-up sorcery. The scary thing is that the more pressure rises, the more he rises with it. Fourth quarter, down by three, the opposing coach screaming, the crowd roaring... And he just shrugs, takes the ball, and nails a step-back three over three defenders draped all over him like it's a Tuesday morning shootaround drill. This is the kind of player you don't just build a team around, you build an era around him. And tonight, that era begins. And because this season couldn't possibly be normal, the coach went out and signed Thibaut Courtois. The man. Is. A futbolista. I'm going to let that marinate for two seconds. A futbolista. On a professional basketball court. With guys who jump 3 feet off the ground. This dude jumps 6 inches, on a good day, with a running start and the wind at his back. But he's got sus botas de fútbol and apparently, the technical motion of a futbolista and a pull-up jumper are "basically the same thing, give or take 90 degrees." That's what the coach said. The team doctor immediately requested a cognitive evaluation for the coach. Budget: unlimited. Well technically there's a limit, but the owner decided to ignore it. We're in repeater tax territory, where every extra dollar of payroll costs FIVE dollars in penalties. The front office sweats with every new contract, the accountant has quit three times this year, but the owner keeps signing checks. The result? An absolute dream roster, the kind of team you build in NBA 2K when you turn on cheat mode. The downside? Zero flexibility. No first-round Draft picks, no free agent signings, no wiggle room whatsoever. It's all or nothing. And tonight, it's gonna be all.
Jornada 1 — vs Detroit Engine-Roar
88-109 (D)
This multi-time All-Star Luka Dončić comes out aggressive! Opens with a two-handed slam from mid-range!
Luka Dončić, this absolute unit, gets stuffed trying a buzzer-beater! Denied!
This well-respected player Cooper Flagg dribbles off the foot! Unforced error!
This hidden prospect Kon Knueppel fouls reaching in! Tendency to rush on defense!
Cooper Flagg, this titan, showcases an unmatched feel for the game with a gorgeous off-balance shot!
Coach calls everyone back. Kon Knueppel drags his feet toward the tunnel. Word is Kon Knueppel sleeps with his basketball shoes on. I can't confirm it, but the source is reliable. Here they come. You can read the determination on their faces.
Luka Dončić, this top-tier talent, yells at the coaching staff! Lack of consistency causing friction!
Kon Knueppel, this player nobody saw coming, with a contested free throw that misses driving to the hoop!
Thibaut Courtois uses their size out there! The futbolista has a built-in advantage!
This jersey-selling name Luka Dončić calls for a sub! Can't go anymore! Tendency to force bad shots taking its toll!
Luka Dončić, this walking skyscraper, hangs the head. Tough loss despite pure God-given talent effort.
Manu Ginóbili unclasps his chain and squeezes it in his fist. Luka Dončić runs a hand down his face. During the timeout, I tried to do pull-ups on the edge of the broadcast booth. Zero. Thanks for being here. Coming up: 'Forbidden Zone: Behind the Scenes of a Vending Machine.'
Jornada 2 — vs Miami Heart-Attack
128-89 (V)
Kon Knueppel, this mountain of a man, announced to huge cheers! A crowd fully behind them!
Thibaut Courtois converts a tough and-one at the buzzer! Skill level: elite!
Luka Dončić dishes and dishes! Gorgeous feed off the pick and roll! An unmatched feel for the game!
A pull-up jumper from Kon Knueppel! This newcomer reminding everyone why they're on top!
Cooper Flagg with the chase-down perfect contest! What athleticism!
Break. Thibaut Courtois collapses on the locker room floor, arms spread wide. Did you know Thibaut Courtois entered the dunk contest... At 5'9"? Courage knows no height. Both teams return with fresh instructions from the coach.
This player on the come-up Manu Ginóbili with a cold-blooded euro-step! No conscience!
Luka Dončić, this multi-time All-Star, waves to the crowd early! The outcome settled!
Luka Dončić does the victory dance at halftime! This established star getting ahead of themselves!
Kon Knueppel, this oversized freak, takes a bow! A fist pump toward the bench! This guy nobody was talking about knows that was special!
Luka Dončić dribbles to the crowd! A primal scream! This headliner gave everything!
Kon Knueppel and Cooper Flagg fake a wrestling match. Luka Dončić plays the referee and calls a timeout. I tried taking notes during the game. My notebook is full of incomprehensible scribbles. See you soon. Coming up: 'Extreme Couponing: Family of Eight at Walmart.' Double episode.
Jornada 3 — vs Orlando Magic-Beans
117-77 (V)
Kon Knueppel drives with energy from the opening whistle! This raw talent locked in!
A floater from Cooper Flagg under the basket! That's a statement right there!
Luka Dončić with the no-look pass! This established star has eyes in the back of the head!
Thibaut Courtois, this franchise cornerstone, threads the needle for a half-court heave facing the rim!
Manu Ginóbili blocks it and keeps it in play! Heads-up play, what awareness!
Halftime! Thibaut Courtois is limping slightly heading off the court. Bus driver's confession: Thibaut Courtois raps gibberish during road trips. Loudly. Jump ball to restart. Let the second half begin!
Luka Dončić goes to work through traffic and scores! Incredible finish!
Luka Dončić, this big-name player, wraps it up with a flourish! Total destruction!
This raw talent Kon Knueppel passes to the opponent! Gift exchange in transition!
Manu Ginóbili blows a kiss to the fans! Cool as you like, a fist pump toward the bench!
Cooper Flagg tosses the pill in the air! A slide across the hardwood! This player making noise mission accomplished!
Luka Dončić does the robot at center court while Thibaut Courtois pretends to be an airplane. The crowd loves it. Your commentator broke his personal screaming record tonight. My throat is not thanking me. Good night! And now, 'The Bachelor: Stray Cat Edition.' Who will find love in this dumpster?
Jornada 4 — vs Philadelphia Injury-Report
110-102 (V)
This multi-time All-Star Luka Dončić means business! Fast start facing the rim!
Cooper Flagg crosses over past the defense for a catch-and-shoot triple! Size advantage from this this 7-footer!
Manu Ginóbili with the huge perfect contest off the pick and roll! This player on the come-up says no!
Luka Dončić, this absolute unit, delivers the entry pass! Beautiful feed into the post!
Cooper Flagg, this well-respected player, manages the clock beautifully in the closing moments!
Halftime! Kon Knueppel checks his stats on the board and winces. Anecdote: Kon Knueppel lost a bet and had to wear the center's shoes during warm-ups. Size 16. The players step onto the hardwood once more. The second half starts now.
Manu Ginóbili with the tough sky hook through contact! This solid pro won't be denied!
This reliable star Luka Dončić has the arena rocking! An incredible energy off the charts!
Manu Ginóbili puts ego aside! The team comes first for this player making noise!
This dude putting the league on notice Cooper Flagg is the heartbeat of this team! A sequence that will go viral leadership!
Luka Dončić, this 7-footer, takes the final bow! A fist pump toward the bench! Dominant display!
Kon Knueppel climbs onto the scorer's table. Luka Dončić joins him. Security is unsure whether to intervene. I discovered tonight that my mic was off for three minutes. Three minutes of pure genius, lost forever. We're signing off. And now: 'Musical Chairs: Subway Seat Edition.' Winner takes all.
Jornada 5 — vs Phoenix No-Defense
109-111 (D)
Kon Knueppel, this total unknown, draws first blood! An alley-oop to start!
Cooper Flagg with an incredible devastating dunk from way beyond the arc! Standing ovation!
Thibaut Courtois, this tower, gets dunked on the low block! Poster material!
A catch-and-shoot triple by Manu Ginóbili at the buzzer is way off! Tough night for this player on the come-up!
Thibaut Courtois delivers under pressure! Pressure-tested by the sus botas de fútbol at work!
Finally a breather. Thibaut Courtois has calf cramps, the physio rushes over. Did you know Thibaut Courtois entered the dunk contest... At 5'9"? Courage knows no height. We're back! The players look fired up.
Thibaut Courtois pulls up into a dead end! Lack of consistency in late-game situations!
Cooper Flagg mouths off and picks up a T! Tendency to rush taking over!
This franchise cornerstone Thibaut Courtois silences the noise! Natural-born leadership locked in! Nothing else matters!
Luka Dončić misses in the clutch! A deep three off the mark in the second quarter!
Thibaut Courtois refuses to make excuses! A futbolista owns the el gol ganador failures too!
Manu Ginóbili refuses the coach's embrace. Luka Dončić accepts it but his body is stiff. My evening? A microphone, cold coffee, and the greatest show on earth. What more could you ask for. That's a wrap! And now, 'The Price Is Right: Why Nobody Answers the Phone Anymore.'
Jornada 6 — vs Los Angeles Nursing-Home
112-88 (V)
Luka Dončić dribbles onto the floor! The crowd roars for this max-contract guy!
A tear drop from Luka Dončić! That's night-in night-out consistency at the highest level!
Manu Ginóbili reads the play and picks off the pass! Transition opportunity!
Thibaut Courtois finds the rolling big! Rolling with the momentum of a futbolista on fire!
This guy with rings on every finger Thibaut Courtois with the savvy veteran play! Insane court vision experience showing!
Finally a breather. Cooper Flagg has calf cramps, the physio rushes over. Anecdote: Cooper Flagg threw up before his first pro game. No more pre-game burgers ever since. The tunnel spits the players out. The war resumes.
Cooper Flagg crosses over and it's a buzzer beater! This established player proving the doubters wrong!
Luka Dončić soaks in a roaring arena! This world-class player living for these moments!
Thibaut Courtois runs the play to perfection! Perfection of anotarring the el gol ganador!
Kon Knueppel fades away with elegance and power! This guy nobody was talking about is the complete package!
Manu Ginóbili, this tweener, acknowledges the fans! A Finals-like atmosphere! A bench mob celebration!
Manu Ginóbili mimes popping a champagne bottle. Cooper Flagg mimes chugging straight from it. I drank so much coffee tonight I'm going to commentate in my sleep. That's a wrap for tonight. Coming up: 'The Amazing Race: Subway Line 13.' Viewer discretion advised.
Jornada 7 — vs Toronto Border-Patrol
95-115 (D)
Cooper Flagg takes the floor with that look in his eyes! He came to play tonight!
Thibaut Courtois, this generational talent, comes up empty! A scoop layup off target back to the basket!
Kon Knueppel, this walking skyscraper, commits the travel! Ego the size of Texas in the footwork!
Cooper Flagg gets screened out of the play! This player on the come-up lost in traffic!
Thibaut Courtois with the step-back step-back three! Creating space like a futbolista with the sus botas de fútbol!
Halftime whistle. Cooper Flagg has dried blood on his elbow but plays tough. Little secret: Cooper Flagg has a secret TikTok account with 12 followers. Posts cooking tutorials. Both teams retake the floor. The best may be yet to come.
Thibaut Courtois argues with the ref! The same passion they bring to anotarring the el gol ganador!
Luka Dončić, this tree of a man, can't get a bank shot to drop! Cold as ice tonight!
Thibaut Courtois, this undisputed superstar, draws the double team and finds the open man! High IQ!
This newcomer Kon Knueppel stumbles! The fatigue is real after the contest!
This absolute legend Thibaut Courtois stares at the scoreboard. Not the outcome this absolute legend wanted.
Luka Dončić sighs so loudly that the reporters hear it. Kon Knueppel winces. Did you know that Kon Knueppel practices futbolista on Tuesdays? Builds character, that does. Good evening! Now: 'Destination Unknown: The Roundabout in Scranton, PA.' Total adventure.
Jornada 8 — vs Minnesota Ice-Wall
107-99 (V)
This bonafide star Luka Dončić opens the scoring! A bucket! Early advantage!
Manu Ginóbili, this all-around player, dominates in transition and puts up a sky hook! Unstoppable!
Luka Dončić a crucial offensive board with authority! This big fella protecting the paint!
Kon Knueppel threads the needle! Beautiful assist from the right corner! Unreal court vision!
This surprise package Kon Knueppel attacks the closeout! Driving past the over-eager defender!
The players head in. Thibaut Courtois slips on the wet tunnel floor. Anecdote: Thibaut Courtois lost a bet and had to wear the center's shoes during warm-ups. Size 16. We're back at it. The crowd had time to reload at the snack bar.
Thibaut Courtois pulls off a bucket out of nowhere! Was that basketball or futbolista magic? Unbelievable!
Wild stands, all because of a futbolista named Thibaut Courtois with the el gol ganador!
This dark horse Kon Knueppel unites the locker room! A gym-rat work ethic captain's mentality!
Remember this moment! Cooper Flagg is making history with a scoop layup!
Thibaut Courtois takes the applause! Deserved, for a futbolista with the sus botas de fútbol!
Thibaut Courtois and Kon Knueppel stare at each other in silence for five seconds. Then burst out laughing at the exact same time. I spent this game nervously chewing gum. I'm on my seventh piece. Alright, good night! Up next: 'Secret Life of Your Mailman.' Episode 47.
Jornada 9 — vs Houston Blast-Off
127-95 (V)
Game time! Manu Ginóbili and this player making noise ready to put on a show at the gym!
Luka Dončić knocks down a bank shot from the left corner! Ice in the veins!
Manu Ginóbili, this smooth operator, recovers and contests! Never-give-up effort fueled by scary good handles!
Luka Dončić with the outlet pass! Coast-to-coast assist! Insane court vision on that one!
Cooper Flagg, this up-and-coming baller, manipulates the defense with the eyes! Nerves of steel!
The players disappear. Luka Dončić has a makeshift neck brace out of a towel. They say Luka Dončić has a ritual where he touches the basket post three times. If someone watches, starts over. We pick up right where we left off. Time to play.
Kon Knueppel, this giant, rises above and hammers a devastating dunk!
This diamond in the rough Kon Knueppel silences the hostile crowd! Wild stands shifts!
Cooper Flagg explodes the outlet to the young player! This well-respected player building the future!
The legend of Cooper Flagg grows! This player on the come-up adding another chapter back to the basket!
This total unknown Kon Knueppel led from start to finish! Comprehensive win!
Manu Ginóbili and Kon Knueppel run circles around Luka Dončić who doesn't move. Zen. During the third quarter, I spilled my soup. Yes, I had soup in the booth. Don't judge. We're out! And now, 'House Hunters: Broom Closet Edition.' Cozy open concept.
Jornada 10 — vs Denver Horse-Track
90-101 (D)
Luka Dončić looks dialed in from the start! Silky smooth technique preparation showing!
Manu Ginóbili clanks another one off the rim! This name that's buzzing needs to find rhythm!
Cooper Flagg with the lazy pass! Lack of consistency leading to easy points!
Luka Dončić gets posted up and scored on! This jersey-selling name overpowered!
Luka Dončić scores with next-level basketball IQ. A deep three along the baseline! Too smooth!
Halftime! Thibaut Courtois looks in the mirror and shakes his head. Fun fact: Thibaut Courtois is unbeatable at arm wrestling in the locker room. Even the center is scared. Both teams retake the floor. The best may be yet to come.
Luka Dončić slams the leather in frustration! Heavy feet on full display!
Thibaut Courtois misses! Even a futbolista can't fix that shot!
This guy with a proven track record Manu Ginóbili sets the back screen! Iron discipline off-ball contribution!
Kon Knueppel, this mountain of a man, is moving in slow motion! Tank is empty!
This newcomer Kon Knueppel leaves the field house with head held high. Fought to the end.
Thibaut Courtois taps the tunnel wall as if trying to pass through it. Manu Ginóbili walks through the door without pushing it. Confession: I nearly fell asleep during the second quarter. The third woke me right up. Good evening! Up next: 'Fixer Upper: Renovating a Studio on a Twelve-Dollar Budget.' Challenge accepted.
Jornada 11 — vs New York Over-Timers
96-119 (D)
Kon Knueppel, this mountain of a man, is introduced and the arena explodes! This who-is-this-guy player is in the building!
Brick! Cooper Flagg misfires along the baseline! Occasional mental lapses at the worst time!
Kon Knueppel, this big fella, gets the ball poked away! Injury-prone body when protecting the basketball!
Luka Dončić falls asleep on the weak side! Lack of consistency exposed!
Thibaut Courtois tallies another one! This futbolista keeps racking them up!
Back to the locker room. Luka Dončić's shorts are torn but he couldn't care less. Little secret: Luka Dončić listens to Celine Dion to focus. I repeat, Celine Dion. Break's over, time for basketball. Let's go.
Cooper Flagg dribbles the towel! This well-respected player showing sometimes predictable game!
Kon Knueppel drives but overcooks it! Occasional mental lapses showing up again!
Luka Dončić, this multi-time All-Star, orchestrates the delay game! Freakish explosiveness in action!
Luka Dončić asks for the ball to slow the pace! This headliner needs air!
This guy nobody was talking about Kon Knueppel shakes hands and moves on. In the end, tendency to force bad shots proved costly.
Kon Knueppel walks like someone carrying the weight of the world. Cooper Flagg drags one foot after the other. Tonight my voice traveled three octaves. Baritone to soprano. Basketball does that to you. Thanks everyone. Up next: 'Survivor: Open-Plan Office.' Whoever makes it through the 5 PM meeting wins.
Jornada 12 — vs Cleveland Twin-Towers
94-97 (D)
Thibaut Courtois steps onto the venue! From anotarring the el gol ganador to this, game time!
Luka Dončić, this jersey-selling name, operates facing the rim with a floater! Clinic!
This undisputed superstar Thibaut Courtois caught ball-watching! Backdoor cut for an easy score!
This total unknown Kon Knueppel whiffs on a reverse layup! The crowd groans!
Thibaut Courtois explodes past the defense! A fadeaway jumper! The gap narrows!
The players head in. Luka Dončić slips on the wet tunnel floor. Quick anecdote about Luka Dončić: apparently he eats pasta with ketchup before every game. To each their own ritual. We're back! The DJ cranks the volume, the players charge onto the court.
This All-Star caliber talent Luka Dončić fouls in the clutch! Sometimes predictable game showing late!
Luka Dončić, this giant, throws the hands up! Exasperated on the low block!
Luka Dončić, this franchise guy, delivers a moment of pure magic! Wisdom and poise!
Cooper Flagg gets stripped in coming out of the locker room! That's gonna be a costly turnover!
Luka Dončić, this established star, will be back stronger. This defeat fuels the fire.
Thibaut Courtois walks head down toward the tunnel. Kon Knueppel drags his feet behind, shoulders slumped. Tonight I lost my voice, rediscovered my passion, and forgot where I parked. A complete evening. We're wrapping up the mics. Up next: 'Chopped: Tupperware Lunch at the Office Edition.'
Jornada 13 — vs Boston Ring-Chasers
95-121 (D)
This up-and-coming baller Cooper Flagg gets the crowd going early! The energy is building!
Manu Ginóbili, this combo guard, gets the separation but can't finish! Tendency to rush!
This raw talent Kon Knueppel commits the 5-second violation! Clock management sometimes predictable game!
Luka Dončić gets burned on the drive! Heavy feet in lateral movement!
Kon Knueppel goes to work past everyone for a pull-up jumper! This mammoth on a mission!
Break. Manu Ginóbili collapses next to the vending machine. The staff told me Manu Ginóbili sings in the shower. Badly. Very badly. The players emerge from the tunnel. Stern faces, clenched fists.
This world-class player Luka Dončić gets into it with the opponent! Tempers flaring!
Manu Ginóbili blows past the Spalding into nothing! Tendency to rush on full display tonight!
Thibaut Courtois spaces the floor perfectly! Great read of the system!
Cooper Flagg is gassed! This well-respected player bent over at half court! Occasional mental lapses catching up!
Manu Ginóbili had the chances but couldn't convert. This hooper's hooper left wanting.
Kon Knueppel pulls his cap down over his eyes. Manu Ginóbili doesn't have a cap, and it shows. Your commentator broke his personal screaming record tonight. My throat is not thanking me. Good night everyone! Coming up: 'Boot Camp: Supermarket Checkout Line Edition.' Discipline.
Jornada 14 — vs San Antonio Skyscrapers
99-117 (D)
This established player Cooper Flagg catches the ball early and goes to work! Opening salvo!
Kon Knueppel misfires along the baseline! Even this hungry young player has off nights!
Cooper Flagg throws it away! Defense that's basically a suggestion under pressure driving to the hoop!
Thibaut Courtois, this tower, loses the assignment! Easy bucket over tendency to rush!
This seasoned vet Manu Ginóbili punishes the defense with a devastating dunk from the right corner!
The players disappear. Thibaut Courtois has a makeshift neck brace out of a towel. Rumor has it Thibaut Courtois does 100 push-ups before every game. Or 10. Depends who you ask. The players are back. The court had time to dry, at least.
Cooper Flagg, this legit talent, barks at the teammate! Tendency to rush taking over!
Thibaut Courtois misses at the buzzer! A futbolista who missed the deadline!
This player nobody saw coming Kon Knueppel recognizes the zone and attacks the gap! Genius!
This big-name player Luka Dončić can barely jump! The springs are gone driving to the hoop!
Kon Knueppel sits alone on the bench. This hungry young player processing the defeat.
Kon Knueppel chews his nails on the bench. Thibaut Courtois stares at his shoes like they're the source of the problem. My evening in one word? Epic. In two words? Epic and loud. That's a wrap! And now, 'The Price Is Right: Why Nobody Answers the Phone Anymore.'
Jornada 15 — vs Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest
100-93 (V)
Tip-off! Kon Knueppel gets us started! Let's go!
Luka Dončić, this big fella, with a silky half-court heave at half court! Smooth operator!
Thibaut Courtois anchors the defense! Solid as a futbolista's foundation!
Kon Knueppel dishes the rock through traffic! What a pass by this guy nobody was talking about!
Manu Ginóbili, this all-around player, exploits the mismatch under the basket! Smart play!
Halftime whistle. Thibaut Courtois high-fives his teammates on the way out. Did you know Thibaut Courtois plays better when it's raining outside? Even indoors. Go figure. There they are. The coach must have found the right words.
A thunderous slam from Cooper Flagg! This legit talent is putting on a show tonight!
This league veteran Cooper Flagg gets the crowd into it! A crowd fully behind them at fever pitch!
This guy everybody knows Luka Dončić celebrates the teammate's score! It's about the team!
A standing ovation for Thibaut Courtois! The futbolista who conquered the field house with the sus botas de fútbol!
Luka Dončić sits on the bench with a smile! This top-tier talent job well done!
Manu Ginóbili climbs onto the scorer's table. Thibaut Courtois joins him. Security is unsure whether to intervene. Your commentator lost his press badge during the game. I had to climb over a barrier. We're wrapping up the mics. Up next: 'Chopped: Tupperware Lunch at the Office Edition.'
My Team ends the season #9 with a 7W-8L record. Season MVP: Luka Dončić.
Diario de la temporada
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