My dream starting five — basketball_team 🇻🇳
5 members · TeamBranch
Nhật ký mùa giải
Bảng xếp hạng
| # | Team | T | B | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Detroit Engine-Roar | 14 | 1 | 28 |
| 2 | Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 3 | San Antonio Skyscrapers | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 4 | Cleveland Twin-Towers | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 5 | New York Over-Timers | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 6 | My Team | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 7 | Denver Horse-Track | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 8 | Boston Ring-Chasers | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 9 | Toronto Border-Patrol | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 10 | Houston Blast-Off | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 11 | Minnesota Ice-Wall | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 12 | Los Angeles Nursing-Home | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 13 | Orlando Magic-Beans | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 14 | Philadelphia Injury-Report | 3 | 12 | 6 |
| 15 | Miami Heart-Attack | 2 | 13 | 4 |
| 16 | Phoenix No-Defense | 1 | 14 | 2 |
Trước mùa giải
Let's not beat around the bush: tonight is going to be one hell of a show. The arena is packed, the air is unbreathable with tension, and the lights just went out for the pregame laser show. We're talking about a franchise that has weathered every storm: lockouts, star injuries, catastrophic trades, rebuilds that never seemed to end. And they're still here, standing tall, with the same fire in their belly. This club is a survivor. And when survivors bite, they don't let go. The team with no name, baby! Okay, let's talk about the boss. Because on this team, there's one alpha, and everybody knows it. Nikola Jokić. Standing at 208 cm, a body built for basketball, and a basketball IQ that borders on indecent. When this man catches the rock, defenders back up instinctively, it's a survival reflex. And they're right, because this guy can punish you from everywhere: from three, in the post, in transition, from the free throw line with his eyes closed. He's a damn 6'8" Swiss Army knife and he cuts in every direction. The opposing locker room before the game, you know what they talk about? Not the game plan. Not the offensive scheme. No. They talk about HIM. "How do we stop him?" "Who takes the matchup?" "Does he look tired?" Spoiler: he's never tired. And even when he looks tired, it's a trap. The man fakes exhaustion in the third quarter and drops 14 in the fourth like a coiled spring being released. Opposing coaches have 50-page scouting reports on him, and every single page is absolutely useless. The chef's surprise of the evening is Jesus Christ. A messiah by profession. No, it's not a joke, it's an actual coaching staff decision. The GM nearly had a heart attack when he saw the signing, but the coach said: "Trust me, this guy can handle the game with surgical precision, imagine what he can do with a basketball." Spoiler: so far, not much. The man spent his first week confusing the free throw line with the sideline, and asked three times if tackling was allowed. But he's got a heart size of a watermelon, he runs around like an overexcited golden retriever, and damn it, the crowd absolutely loves him. Budget: unlimited. Well technically there's a limit, but the owner decided to ignore it. We're in repeater tax territory, where every extra dollar of payroll costs FIVE dollars in penalties. The front office sweats with every new contract, the accountant has quit three times this year, but the owner keeps signing checks. The result? An absolute dream roster, the kind of team you build in NBA 2K when you turn on cheat mode. The downside? Zero flexibility. No first-round Draft picks, no free agent signings, no wiggle room whatsoever. It's all or nothing. And tonight, it's gonna be all.
Vòng đấu 1 — vs Detroit Engine-Roar
90-107 (B)
Jesus Christ steps onto the venue! From competing the game to this, game time!
Kawhi Leonard forces up a pull-up jumper over the defense! Lack of consistency! Bad decision!
Kawhi Leonard with the lazy pass! Heavy feet leading to easy points!
Jesus Christ loses their assignment! Like losing their bare hands in the workshop!
Nikola Jokić, this certified bucket, threads the needle for a euro-step under the basket!
Break. Pascal Siakam collapses next to the vending machine. Intel: Pascal Siakam asked Detroit Engine-Roar for their energy drink recipe. They refused. Act two! The bench players are fired up, the starters too.
This hall-of-fame lock Jesus Christ stares at the ref! That look could freeze water!
This bonafide star Chris Paul muscles up an off-balance shot but can't get it to fall!
Pascal Siakam, this tower, posts up the smaller defender! Mismatch hunting!
Jesus Christ is gassed! More tired than after a full day of competing the game!
This undisputed superstar Jesus Christ congratulates the opponent. Class in defeat from this undisputed superstar.
Nikola Jokić sits on the bench, staring into nothing. Pascal Siakam has his head in his hands. I got a text from Nikola Jokić after the game. Just kidding. Nobody texts me. Thanks for being here. Coming up: 'Forbidden Zone: Behind the Scenes of a Vending Machine.'
Vòng đấu 2 — vs Miami Heart-Attack
119-94 (T)
This solid pro Kawhi Leonard catches the leather early and goes to work! Opening salvo!
This generational talent Jesus Christ does it again! An off-balance shot with effortless precision!
Chris Paul a sky-high block at the critical moment! Silky smooth technique right on cue!
Pascal Siakam, this league veteran, draws the double and finds the open shooter! An unmatched feel for the game!
Kawhi Leonard, this mammoth, positions perfectly for the offensive rebound! An unmatched feel for the game!
Coach calls everyone back. Nikola Jokić drags his feet toward the tunnel. Rumor has it Nikola Jokić tried to recruit the pizza delivery guy for the team. The guy was 6'9". The players emerge from the tunnel. Stern faces, clenched fists.
A pull-up jumper from Kawhi Leonard! This player making noise is putting on a show tonight!
This guy with a proven track record Pascal Siakam silences the hostile crowd! An electric crowd shifts!
Jesus Christ rotates on defense! Rotating with their bare hands efficiency!
This first-ballot legend Jesus Christ is the heartbeat of this team! An All-Star Game worthy play leadership!
This dude putting the league on notice Kawhi Leonard seals the deal! Victory with an off-the-charts basketball IQ!
Kawhi Leonard pretends to plant a flag at center court. Chris Paul stands at attention. My evening? A microphone, cold coffee, and the greatest show on earth. What more could you ask for. See you tomorrow! Up next: 'Extreme Reading: The Terms and Conditions.' 4-hour special.
Vòng đấu 3 — vs Orlando Magic-Beans
103-88 (T)
This well-respected player Kawhi Leonard comes out firing! A devastating dunk in the first minute!
Pascal Siakam shoots past everyone for an alley-oop! This mammoth on a mission!
This well-respected player Pascal Siakam holds ground under the basket! Immovable object!
This league veteran Kawhi Leonard orchestrates the offense at half court! Maestro!
Jesus Christ slows the pace when the team needs it! This generational talent tempo control!
Halftime! Kawhi Leonard looks in the mirror and shakes his head. Exclusive: Kawhi Leonard was caught reading a philosophy book on the bench. It was Nietzsche. Back at it! The players jog toward center court.
Nikola Jokić, this certified bucket, unleashes a fadeaway jumper from the right corner! Bang!
Chris Paul, this tweener, gets the standing ovation! A cathedral silence!
Jesus Christ sacrifices for the team! Selfless play from this messiah!
This player making noise Kawhi Leonard turns adversity into fuel! A career-defining moment energy!
Chris Paul rises up into the tunnel with the W! This certified bucket all smiles!
Pascal Siakam pretends to plant a flag at center court. Jesus Christ stands at attention. Fun fact: my sound engineer fell asleep during the second quarter. I woke him with an elbow. Thanks for the game! And now, tonight's feature film: 'Fast and Furious 47: The Quest for a Parking Spot.'
Vòng đấu 4 — vs Philadelphia Injury-Report
101-98 (T)
Chris Paul, this smooth operator, takes the court! The electric crowd is electric!
Nikola Jokić anticipates the cut and deflects the rock! This established star reading minds!
Kawhi Leonard fires a half-court heave from downtown but can't connect! Injury-prone body showing!
Kawhi Leonard with another layup! You can't stop this man!
This bonafide star Chris Paul calls the audible! Changed the play and it works!
Halftime. Chris Paul's hair is completely soaked, like climbing out of a pool. Fun fact: Chris Paul is unbeatable at arm wrestling in the locker room. Even the center is scared. Back on the hardwood. The tension has gone up a notch.
Jesus Christ wants the ball and delivers! A deep three in the closing moments! Clutch gene!
Pascal Siakam with a textbook defensive stance! That's how you do it!
The entire arena rises for Jesus Christ! A messiah lifted by their bare hands and love!
Nikola Jokić breaks the tie! A thunderous slam! This established star wants to be the hero!
It's over! Nikola Jokić delivers the goods! This guy everybody knows walks off a winner!
Kawhi Leonard and Pascal Siakam cradle the game ball like a baby. Chris Paul takes a photo. My evening? A microphone, cold coffee, and the greatest show on earth. What more could you ask for. Good night! Up next: 'My 600-Lb Neighbor: He Makes Noise at 3 AM.' Shocking testimonies.
Vòng đấu 5 — vs Phoenix No-Defense
126-95 (T)
Kawhi Leonard takes off onto the floor! The crowd roars for this legit talent!
This solid pro Pascal Siakam with a cold-blooded pull-up jumper! No conscience!
Jesus Christ boxes out! Making space, that's the messiah work ethic!
Kawhi Leonard rises up and finds the trailer for a bucket! Great awareness!
Jesus Christ uses their size out there! The messiah has a built-in advantage!
Halftime. Chris Paul wolfs down an energy bar in two bites. Word is Chris Paul sleeps with his basketball shoes on. I can't confirm it, but the source is reliable. The hardwood awaits. Here we go for the second half.
Chris Paul attacks from way beyond the arc and finishes with a bank shot! Too good!
This bonafide star Chris Paul has the arena rocking! A Finals-like atmosphere off the charts!
Jesus Christ makes the extra pass! Extra effort, the messiah way!
Two worlds collide: the game and the pill, united by Jesus Christ!
Jesus Christ shares the credit! Team player on and off the court!
Chris Paul improvises an Oscar acceptance speech. Kawhi Leonard plays the imaginary violin. Tonight I lost my voice, rediscovered my passion, and forgot where I parked. A complete evening. That's it for tonight. Coming up: 'Nailed It: Cakes Ruined by My Mother-in-Law.'
Vòng đấu 6 — vs Los Angeles Nursing-Home
92-106 (B)
This franchise guy Chris Paul means business! Fast start in the paint!
Jesus Christ denied by the basket! Even a messiah can't pry it open!
Chris Paul charges right into the defender! Turnover! Defense that's basically a suggestion when controlling pace!
Kawhi Leonard, this mammoth, gets blown by on the perimeter! Occasional mental lapses in the legs!
Jesus Christ scores again! When you're a messiah by trade, the damn ball is child's play!
Break time. Chris Paul bolts to the locker room without looking at anyone. Juicy anecdote: Chris Paul was caught dancing the Macarena in the showers. Alone. The show goes on. Players take position. Silence. Whistle.
Jesus Christ vents at their teammates! The messiah who vents about the game!
A free throw by Nikola Jokić from the left corner is way off! Tough night for this bonafide star!
This player on the come-up Pascal Siakam recognizes the zone and attacks the gap! Genius!
Chris Paul, this do-it-all player, laboring up and down! Occasional mental lapses draining the energy!
Kawhi Leonard walks off in silence. This up-and-coming baller gave it all but it wasn't enough.
Pascal Siakam rips off his headband and throws it on the ground. Chris Paul picks up his own and folds it carefully. On my end, the AC in the booth broke down. I sweated more than Chris Paul. We're done here. Up next: 'Top Chef: Microwave Edition.' Bon appetit.
Vòng đấu 7 — vs Toronto Border-Patrol
109-82 (T)
Jesus Christ huddles with the team! Huddling up, the messiah strategizes!
This generational talent Jesus Christ capitalizes from downtown! A step-back three with an unmatched feel for the game!
Nikola Jokić blocks it and keeps it in play! Heads-up play, what awareness!
Pascal Siakam fades away and dishes! Gorgeous feed along the baseline! Insane court vision!
Chris Paul, this franchise guy, manages the clock beautifully in the second quarter!
The players file out. Pascal Siakam exchanges a tense look with the coach. Locker room anecdote: Pascal Siakam talks to a sock called 'Assistant Coach.' We don't judge. The tunnel spits the players out. The war resumes.
Jesus Christ finishes through contact! Built tough from handling their bare hands!
The fans sense it coming! The energy is building as Jesus Christ gets hot!
Pascal Siakam launches the rock with patience! This legit talent trusting the system!
Kawhi Leonard posts up with conviction! This player making noise believes tonight is the night!
Pascal Siakam fires away the trophy! This well-respected player adds to the collection! A salute to the fans!
Jesus Christ and Pascal Siakam slap each other's butts. Kawhi Leonard declines the invitation. Behind the scenes, I learned Kawhi Leonard was also a messiah in a past life. You can feel it in the game. Good night! Up next: 'My 600-Lb Neighbor: He Makes Noise at 3 AM.' Shocking testimonies.
Vòng đấu 8 — vs Minnesota Ice-Wall
115-94 (T)
Chris Paul takes off with energy from the opening whistle! This franchise guy locked in!
Nikola Jokić scores at will! A hook shot under the basket! This reliable star domination!
Jesus Christ, this combo guard, recovers and contests! Never-give-up effort fueled by a killer instinct!
Kawhi Leonard threads the needle! Beautiful assist from the right corner! Unreal court vision!
Chris Paul takes off with purpose every possession! This world-class player chess master!
Heading in. Jesus Christ's eyes are bloodshot from sheer effort. Fun fact: Jesus Christ was voted best-looking player on the team. By his mom. In a poll she created herself. Both teams retake the hardwood. Everything is still up for grabs.
Kawhi Leonard, this tree of a man, dominates in transition and puts up a fadeaway jumper! Unstoppable!
Jesus Christ tips their mouthguard to the crowd! The messiah gesture with their bare hands!
This legit talent Kawhi Leonard claps for the rookie! Encouragement from this legit talent!
Jesus Christ walks onto the venue with their bare hands swagger and the leather confidence!
This big-name player Nikola Jokić caps off a special night! A salute to the fans! Until next time!
Jesus Christ runs to the coach and lifts the coach up. Not thrilled but smiles anyway. I discovered tonight that my mic was off for three minutes. Three minutes of pure genius, lost forever. Good night everyone! Coming up: 'Boot Camp: Supermarket Checkout Line Edition.' Discipline.
Vòng đấu 9 — vs Houston Blast-Off
112-82 (T)
Nikola Jokić takes the floor with that look in his eyes! He came to play tonight!
Jesus Christ with the reverse layup! Creative as a messiah with the game!
Pascal Siakam whips the pass cross-court! Assist! This titan seeing everything!
Kawhi Leonard, this hooper's hooper, reads the play perfectly and delivers a scoop layup!
Chris Paul with the suffocating defense! This certified bucket is a wall out there!
Halftime whistle. Chris Paul flops into the first available chair. Fun fact: Chris Paul tried to patent a celebration after a three-pointer. The application was rejected. The players are back. Some look fresh, others... Not so much.
Nikola Jokić, this long boy, rises above and hammers a two-handed slam!
This big-name player Nikola Jokić finishes with a statement game! Eyes in the back of the head throughout!
Jesus Christ, this all-around player, flexes after a missed shot! This hall-of-fame lock keeping it positive!
Pascal Siakam blows a kiss to the fans! Cool as you like, a raised fist!
Kawhi Leonard, this tree of a man, takes the final bow! A team high-five! Dominant display!
Chris Paul rips off his jersey and launches it into the crowd. Kawhi Leonard does the same. The coach rolls his eyes. During the break, I tried to juggle three balls. My cameraman filmed everything. It'll come out someday. That's a wrap! And now, the network's masterpiece: 'My Cat, My Battle.' Don't miss the finale.
Vòng đấu 10 — vs Denver Horse-Track
99-101 (B)
This headliner Nikola Jokić gets the crowd going early! The energy is building!
Kawhi Leonard, this name that's buzzing, absolutely nails a half-court heave in transition! Take a bow!
This All-Star caliber talent Nikola Jokić caught ball-watching! Backdoor cut for an easy score!
Nikola Jokić forces a tear drop in the paint! This reliable star trying too hard!
This certified bucket Chris Paul hits the big three! The deficit down to single digits!
The players head to the locker room. Pascal Siakam is sweating like a racehorse. Locker room intel: Pascal Siakam has a tattoo of a basketball hoop on his butt. That's commitment. Back for the second half. The coach slammed his fist on the table.
This seasoned vet Pascal Siakam dribbles out the clock! Injury-prone body costing precious seconds!
This solid pro Pascal Siakam fouls hard out of frustration! Defense that's basically a suggestion showing!
This guy with a proven track record Kawhi Leonard flips the script! From struggle to dominance!
Pascal Siakam shoots into a dead end! Ego the size of Texas in late-game situations!
Kawhi Leonard had the chances but couldn't convert. This league veteran left wanting.
Chris Paul looks like someone who hasn't slept in three days. Pascal Siakam looks like someone who won't sleep tonight. During the break, I tried to juggle three balls. My cameraman filmed everything. It'll come out someday. That's a wrap! Coming up: 'What Would You Do: People Who Say Hello in the Elevator.' Exposing the truth.
Vòng đấu 11 — vs New York Over-Timers
99-115 (B)
Nikola Jokić takes off into position! This headliner not wasting any time!
Kawhi Leonard rushes a two-handed slam from the right corner! Injury-prone body creeping in!
This undisputed superstar Jesus Christ dribbles off the foot! Unforced error!
Kawhi Leonard, this mammoth, lets the shooter get free from the left corner! Costly lapse!
Nikola Jokić fires away the leather with flair and hits a floater! Sensational!
Halftime. Nikola Jokić glances at his phone for two seconds and puts it back. True story: Nikola Jokić had his parking spot stolen by New York Over-Timers's mascot. Still talks about it. Back in action! The coach got the message across.
Kawhi Leonard gets a technical for complaining! Ego the size of Texas on full display!
Brick! Pascal Siakam misfires facing the rim! Lack of consistency at the worst time!
Pascal Siakam pulls up to the right spot! A killer instinct off-ball movement!
Pascal Siakam, this tree of a man, looks exhausted in transition! The legs are gone!
Jesus Christ vows to come back stronger! Stronger than their bare hands reinforced with the game!
Chris Paul takes off his shoes and carries them like a ghost. Pascal Siakam follows the same path. I learned tonight that Chris Paul used to be a messiah. That explains the unique running style. This was your favorite commentator. Coming up: 'Extreme Makeover: Garage Edition.' Don't change the channel. Or do.
Vòng đấu 12 — vs Cleveland Twin-Towers
107-101 (T)
Tip-off! Nikola Jokić gets us started! Let's go!
Kawhi Leonard fires away the ball beautifully for a step-back three! What touch!
Nikola Jokić, this walking skyscraper, erases the shot at the rim! Rim protector!
Nikola Jokić, this mammoth, finds the trailer! A hook shot off the assist, easy money!
This respected competitor Pascal Siakam adjusts the angle mid-drive! Ridiculous creativity body control!
Break! Nikola Jokić rips his shoes off the second he reaches the locker room. True story: Nikola Jokić walked into the wrong locker room during his first game against Cleveland Twin-Towers. Awkward. We resume. Eyes locked in, jaws clenched.
Kawhi Leonard steps back and it's a double-clutch layup! This next-level player proving the doubters wrong!
The crowd is on its feet! A Playoff atmosphere as Chris Paul takes the court!
Jesus Christ, this household name, picks up the fallen teammate! A killer instinct beyond the stats!
Pascal Siakam, this tower, embodies the spirit of competition! What a show!
Kawhi Leonard spins in triumph! The final buzzer sounds! That's a W!
Jesus Christ slides across the court in his socks while Kawhi Leonard splashes water on everyone. My chair squeaked the entire game. Everyone thinks it was me. It was not me. Off to bed! Or stay for 'Real Housewives of the DMV.' The line is around the block.
Vòng đấu 13 — vs Boston Ring-Chasers
101-98 (T)
Nikola Jokić, this bonafide star, draws first blood! A two-handed slam to start!
Jesus Christ picks off the lob! Intercepting mid-air, pure messiah reflexes!
Kawhi Leonard, this titan, gets the separation but can't finish! Injury-prone body!
Pascal Siakam posts up the pill with purpose! A devastating dunk! This next-level player means business!
Jesus Christ, this do-it-all player, sets a brick-wall screen! Silky smooth technique on full display!
Break. Nikola Jokić collapses on the locker room floor, arms spread wide. Did you know? Nikola Jokić tried to become a rapper before basketball. The world dodged a bullet. On to the next chapter. The court is just waiting for the ball.
Chris Paul steps back and drills it! On a strategic timeout! Freakish explosiveness under pressure!
Pascal Siakam, this beanpole, with the clutch clutch steal! The crowd is on its feet!
Nikola Jokić, this giant, commands wild stands! The arena belongs to this top-tier talent!
Chris Paul with the dagger double-clutch layup! This headliner buries the opposition!
Chris Paul explodes off the court victorious! This elite player leaves it all out there!
Jesus Christ and Kawhi Leonard do the conga. Alone. On an empty court. Nobody joins in. During the game, my colleague ordered sushi. It arrived at the final buzzer. Perfect timing. Good evening! Up next: 'Criminal Minds: Finding the Colleague Who Steals Yogurt from the Fridge.'
Vòng đấu 14 — vs San Antonio Skyscrapers
88-108 (B)
Kawhi Leonard opens with a devastating dunk! This name that's buzzing making an early statement!
Nikola Jokić, this mountain of a man, gets stuffed trying an off-balance shot! Denied!
Chris Paul with the errant pass! This max-contract guy needs to settle down!
This established star Nikola Jokić misjudges the passing lane! Easy assist through!
Nikola Jokić, this reliable star, drops a bucket in transition! Pure artistry!
Halftime! Chris Paul is limping slightly heading off the court. Juicy intel: Chris Paul turned down an endorsement deal because he'd have to wear a mascot costume. We're back! The players look fired up.
This established star Chris Paul shakes the head in disbelief! Nothing going right!
Kawhi Leonard dribbles the ball right into the defender's hands! Sometimes predictable game!
Pascal Siakam makes the hockey pass! Ridiculous creativity finding the extra pass!
Pascal Siakam launches a step slower than usual! Tendency to force bad shots in the tank!
This established star Chris Paul tips the hat to the winner. Respect despite the pain.
Kawhi Leonard hurls his mouthguard into the trash. Pascal Siakam keeps his in, chewing on the frustration. During halftime, I tried to interview the mascot. It ignored me. I'll recover eventually. Good night! Up next: 'My 600-Lb Neighbor: He Makes Noise at 3 AM.' Shocking testimonies.
Vòng đấu 15 — vs Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest
105-91 (T)
This bonafide star Chris Paul in the starting lineup! Let's see what this bonafide star brings!
Pascal Siakam, this oversized freak, takes over back to the basket. A buzzer beater! That's elite!
This world-class player Nikola Jokić with the weak-side sky-high block! Incredible help!
Pascal Siakam reads the defense like a book! Assist at half court! Nerves of steel!
This big-name player Nikola Jokić uses the floater over this mammoth coverage! Smart!
That's a cut. Pascal Siakam stumbles slightly reaching the locker room. Little scoop: Pascal Siakam tried to bribe the DJ to play his song. The DJ agreed. Nobody liked it. Break's over, the players take their positions.
This multi-time All-Star Chris Paul converts at the top of the key! A double-clutch layup right on cue!
You can feel a boiling cauldron through the screen! Pascal Siakam in the spotlight!
Chris Paul, this all-around player, anchors the second unit! This All-Star caliber talent versatile contributor!
This solid pro Pascal Siakam is living their best moment right now from mid-range!
This certified bucket Chris Paul is all smiles! The stats back up the brilliance!
Kawhi Leonard drops to his knees and kisses the court. Chris Paul pretends to gag. During halftime, I tried to interview the mascot. It ignored me. I'll recover eventually. That's a wrap! And now, 'The Price Is Right: Why Nobody Answers the Phone Anymore.'
My Team ends the season #6 with a 10W-5L record. Season MVP: Nikola Jokić.
Season journal
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