Meu cinco inicial dos sonhos — basketball_team 🇧🇷
5 membros · TeamBranch
Diário da temporada
Classificação
| # | Team | V | D | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest | 13 | 2 | 26 |
| 2 | Detroit Engine-Roar | 13 | 2 | 26 |
| 3 | San Antonio Skyscrapers | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 4 | Boston Ring-Chasers | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 5 | Cleveland Twin-Towers | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 6 | Houston Blast-Off | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 7 | Denver Horse-Track | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 8 | New York Over-Timers | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 9 | Minnesota Ice-Wall | 7 | 8 | 14 |
| 10 | Toronto Border-Patrol | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 11 | Phoenix No-Defense | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 12 | Philadelphia Injury-Report | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 13 | Los Angeles Nursing-Home | 3 | 12 | 6 |
| 14 | Orlando Magic-Beans | 3 | 12 | 6 |
| 15 | Miami Heart-Attack | 3 | 12 | 6 |
| 16 | My Team | 0 | 15 | 0 |
Pré-temporada
Shut the hell up for two seconds and listen to that sound. That low rumble, that murmur of 20,000 people holding their breath at the same time. That's the sound of an arena that knows tonight is going to be something. We're here for a franchise that's in the DNA of this league, a club with as many banners in the rafters as ghosts in the locker room. Legends have walked this court, careers have been shattered here, and miracles have been born on this very floor. Tonight, we write the next chapter. The team with no name, baby! Alright, let's not kid ourselves, if the arena is packed to the gills, it's because of THE phenomenon. This guy isn't just a basketball player, he's a walking cheat code on the hardwood: give it up for Senhor Fantástico! Picture this: the man is massive, but he handles the rock with the agility of a 5'10" point guard and launches missiles from 30 feet like he's at shootaround. When he attacks the paint, it's simple, he's a freight train: either you get out of the way, or you end up on his poster doing the rounds on social media for a week straight. The scary thing is that the more pressure rises, the more he rises with it. Fourth quarter, down by three, the opposing coach screaming, the crowd roaring... And he just shrugs, takes the ball, and nails a step-back three over three defenders draped all over him like it's a Tuesday morning shootaround drill. This is the kind of player you don't just build a team around, you build an era around him. And tonight, that era begins. The chef's surprise of the evening is Hulk. A cientista by profession. No, it's not a joke, it's an actual coaching staff decision. The GM nearly had a heart attack when he saw the signing, but the coach said: "Trust me, this guy can handle a verdade oculta with surgical precision, imagine what he can do with a basketball." Spoiler: so far, not much. The man spent his first week confusing the free throw line with the sideline, and asked three times if tackling was allowed. But he's got a heart size of a watermelon, he runs around like an overexcited golden retriever, and damn it, the crowd absolutely loves him. The budget? Look, I've seen GoFundMe campaigns with more money. We're below the salary floor, which means the league is literally going to HAND them cash to hit the legal minimum. It's embarrassing, but it's also a plan: tank hard, finish last, snag the first overall pick, and rebuild. The problem is they've been tanking for three years and never landed the top pick. Bad luck has a name, and it's this damn franchise.
Jornada 1 — vs Detroit Engine-Roar
82-126 (D)
Hulk locks eyes with the opponent! The stare of a cientista who means business!
Son Goku denied by the basket! Even a guerreiro can't pry it open!
Son Goku with a wild pass that sails out! This max-contract guy giving it away!
Monkey D. Luffy overcommits! Going all-in like a capitão da marinha mercante on the o navio oceânico, but wrong!
Satoru Gojo pulls up the towel! This rising star showing hot head!
That's a wrap for now. Monkey D. Luffy dives into the tunnel. Little secret: Monkey D. Luffy listens to Celine Dion to focus. I repeat, Celine Dion. The buzzer calls the players. Time for the show, act II.
Senhor Fantástico launches and misses! The Spalding isn't the natureza selvagem inexplorada, and it shows!
Monkey D. Luffy takes the rest play! Even a capitão da marinha mercante needs a breather!
Satoru Gojo gets the ball stripped! The game would have stayed in a jujutsu sorcerer's grip!
Son Goku throws their hands up! Like a guerreiro when the lâmina dentada breaks!
Senhor Fantástico walks off in defeat! Even an explorador's skills couldn't save tonight!
Senhor Fantástico lets out a nervous laugh that sends chills down your spine. Hulk decides not to comment. During the game, I got a text from my mom: 'Stop yelling, I can hear you from here.' She lives 120 miles away. We're signing off. And now: 'Musical Chairs: Subway Seat Edition.' Winner takes all.
Jornada 2 — vs Miami Heart-Attack
84-125 (D)
Son Goku comes out hot! Heated up and ready, the guerreiro means business!
Son Goku gets blocked! Rejected harder than a guerreiro's worst day on the job!
Stolen from Hulk! A cientista who let it slip through their fingers!
Son Goku gets crossed over! Ankles broken like the o terreno disputado on a rough day!
Hulk mouths off on the inbound pass! A cientista venting about a verdade oculta!
Halftime. Son Goku glances at his phone for two seconds and puts it back. Anecdote of the day: Son Goku forgot his shorts on the last road trip. Played in borrowed shorts two sizes too big. Back to business. The players bounce around to warm up.
This guy with rings on every finger Hulk whiffs on a buzzer beater! The crowd groans!
Son Goku, this bonafide star, with the tired turnover! Legs and mind fatigued!
Satoru Gojo throws it away! A pass worse than a jujutsu sorcerer tossing the game!
Satoru Gojo slaps the floor in frustration! Slapping harder than a jujutsu sorcerer hits the workbench!
Son Goku takes the loss hard! Hard as the o terreno disputado on a bad guerreiro day!
Senhor Fantástico leaves the court at a jog. Satoru Gojo stays there, planted at center court, motionless. Your commentator lost his press badge during the game. I had to climb over a barrier. See you soon. Coming up: 'Extreme Couponing: Family of Eight at Walmart.' Double episode.
Jornada 3 — vs Orlando Magic-Beans
79-123 (D)
Son Goku stretches center court! Loosening up, the guerreiro is getting ready!
Air ball from Satoru Gojo! Being a jujutsu sorcerer doesn't help with shooting, apparently!
Son Goku trips up in the elbow! A guerreiro never trips at work... Right?
Son Goku overcommits and gets beat! Tendency to force bad shots when reading the play!
Monkey D. Luffy can't hide the frustration! The seu leme frustration meets the basketball frustration!
The players file out. Son Goku exchanges a tense look with the coach. Rumor has it Son Goku talks to his basketball in the locker room. Nobody dares say it's weird. Both teams return. You can tell the coach gave them an earful.
This next-level player Senhor Fantástico misses the mark! A thunderous slam goes begging off the pick and roll!
Son Goku posts up a step slower than usual! Occasional mental lapses in the tank!
Hulk coughs it up! A cientista's grip doesn't work on the pill!
Senhor Fantástico argues with the ref! The same passion they bring to violarring the natureza selvagem inexplorada!
Senhor Fantástico had the chances but couldn't convert. This dude putting the league on notice left wanting.
Senhor Fantástico has bags under his eyes that weren't there before the game. Satoru Gojo has aged ten years in forty minutes. I tried to take a selfie with the court in the background. My thumb is over the lens. Good evening! Up next: 'Fixer Upper: Renovating a Studio on a Twelve-Dollar Budget.' Challenge accepted.
Jornada 4 — vs Philadelphia Injury-Report
101-103 (D)
This multi-time All-Star Son Goku opens the scoring! A catch-and-shoot triple! Early advantage!
Satoru Gojo banks a double-clutch layup off the glass! Geometry learned from the jujutsu sorcerer life!
Monkey D. Luffy can't stay in front! Comandarring the o navio oceânico doesn't build lateral quickness!
Monkey D. Luffy with the contested bank shot on the low block! No good! Bad selection!
Satoru Gojo keeps the faith! The faith of a jujutsu sorcerer in the game!
Break time. Satoru Gojo bolts to the locker room without looking at anyone. Anecdote: Satoru Gojo once wore his jersey inside out for the entire first quarter. Nobody dared say anything. Back to hostilities. Faces have changed in the locker room.
Hulk can't hit the open look in crunch time! The seu caderno de laboratório vision failing!
Son Goku picks up the second technical! This multi-time All-Star ejected! Limited stamina!
Son Goku, the guerreiro from the day shift, is writing their story on the floor tonight!
Senhor Fantástico turns it over at right from the tip-off! Worst time to drop the basketball!
Son Goku, this multi-time All-Star, will be back stronger. This defeat fuels the fire.
Son Goku clenches his left fist, unclenches, clenches again. Satoru Gojo fidgets with his wristband nervously. During the game, I got a text from my mom: 'Stop yelling, I can hear you from here.' She lives 120 miles away. Good night! And now: 'Naked and Afraid: Lost in the Shopping Mall.'
Jornada 5 — vs Phoenix No-Defense
99-124 (D)
Senhor Fantástico checks in for the first play! Clocking in for the shift, let's work!
Satoru Gojo crosses over the Spalding into nothing! Injury-prone body on full display tonight!
Satoru Gojo with the lazy pass! Tendency to force bad shots leading to easy points!
Hulk gets screened out! Stuck behind the seu caderno de laboratório like it's a wall!
Son Goku drops a fadeaway jumper! The accuracy of a guerreiro on full display!
First half is done. Hulk is chugging Gatorade like it's water. Did you know? Hulk has a personal mini-fridge in the locker room. Nobody knows what's inside. We're back! The players look fired up.
This absolute legend Hulk can't believe the call! Arguing with the ref!
This name that's buzzing Monkey D. Luffy shanks a pull-up jumper in transition! That's uncharacteristic!
Satoru Gojo, this combo guard, positions perfectly for the offensive rebound! Next-level basketball IQ!
This player nobody saw coming Satoru Gojo can barely get up the court! Fatigue setting in!
Hulk spins to the tunnel in disappointment. This living legend will learn from this.
Senhor Fantástico stares at the floor while Monkey D. Luffy mutters something inaudible under his breath. On my end, I discovered the arena's coffee machine was broken. The game nearly went uncommentated. Thanks for the game! And now, tonight's feature film: 'Fast and Furious 47: The Quest for a Parking Spot.'
Jornada 6 — vs Los Angeles Nursing-Home
84-129 (D)
Senhor Fantástico, this do-it-all player, announced to huge cheers! A cathedral silence!
Monkey D. Luffy misses! Even a capitão da marinha mercante can't fix that shot!
Sloppy handling by Monkey D. Luffy! Comandarring the o navio oceânico is done with more finesse!
Son Goku loses the screen battle! Tendency to force bad shots around the picks!
Satoru Gojo tugs at their jersey! Frustrated, but the jujutsu sorcerer will bounce back!
Both teams head to the locker room. Satoru Gojo wipes his forehead with his jersey. Locker room intel: Satoru Gojo has a tattoo of a basketball hoop on his butt. That's commitment. Back at it! The coach said two words. Two words that were enough.
Satoru Gojo with a wild attempt! This hungry young player not finding the range tonight!
Hulk misses from fatigue! Tired arms from descobrirring a verdade oculta all week!
This up-and-coming baller Monkey D. Luffy loses concentration and the damn ball with it!
Hulk buries their face! Hidden from view, the cientista can't watch!
Monkey D. Luffy walks the tunnel in silence! Done for the night, back to capitão da marinha mercante life tomorrow!
Monkey D. Luffy's face is locked shut, zero emotion. Senhor Fantástico hides his eyes under a towel. Did you know that Senhor Fantástico practices explorador on Tuesdays? Builds character, that does. Good evening! Up next: 'Criminal Minds: Finding the Colleague Who Steals Yogurt from the Fridge.'
Jornada 7 — vs Toronto Border-Patrol
88-133 (D)
This All-Star caliber talent Son Goku means business! Fast start in transition!
Senhor Fantástico misfires on the floater! Too much float, the explorador touch abandoned them!
This guy nobody was talking about Satoru Gojo with turnover number points! Heavy feet is piling up!
Hulk gets back-doored! Didn't see it, like not seeing a verdade oculta behind the seu caderno de laboratório!
Hulk, this do-it-all player, throws the hands up! Exasperated from the right corner!
Both teams head in. Monkey D. Luffy has a red mark on his cheek from an elbow. True story: Monkey D. Luffy walked into the wrong locker room during his first game against Toronto Border-Patrol. Awkward. Back on the hardwood. The tension has gone up a notch.
Satoru Gojo, this tweener, draws the foul but can't capitalize! Shaky emotions under pressure!
Monkey D. Luffy mops their face! Sweating more than when comandarring the o navio oceânico!
Son Goku throws it out of bounds! Like launching the lâmina dentada into the void!
Hulk vents at their teammates! The cientista who vents about a verdade oculta!
Senhor Fantástico sits alone on the bench. This player on the come-up processing the defeat.
Monkey D. Luffy lets out a nervous laugh that sends chills down your spine. Satoru Gojo decides not to comment. I learned tonight that Monkey D. Luffy used to be an explorador. That explains the unique running style. See you tomorrow! Up next: 'Extreme Reading: The Terms and Conditions.' 4-hour special.
Jornada 8 — vs Minnesota Ice-Wall
77-122 (D)
Son Goku steps onto the hardwood! From conquistarring the o terreno disputado to this, game time!
Satoru Gojo, this tweener, wastes a golden chance with a wild sky hook!
Hulk dribbles it off their foot! The seu caderno de laboratório would never betray a cientista like that!
Hulk gets crossed over! This generational talent left frozen at the top of the key!
Senhor Fantástico fires away away from the huddle! This seasoned vet in a dark place mentally!
The players head to the locker room. Hulk is sweating like a racehorse. Did you know? Hulk has a personal mini-fridge in the locker room. Nobody knows what's inside. Let's go. The arena rumbles, the players answer.
Hulk crosses over but it's well off! Heavy feet under fatigue!
Senhor Fantástico drags their feet! Heavy as the bússola desgastada at the end of a shift!
Senhor Fantástico double-dribbles! Violarring the natureza selvagem inexplorada doesn't have that rule!
Monkey D. Luffy waves off the play! The authority of a capitão da marinha mercante in that gesture!
This legit talent Monkey D. Luffy tips the hat to the winner. Respect despite the pain.
Satoru Gojo refuses Minnesota Ice-Wall's handshake. Son Goku offers a limp one with just his fingertips. Behind the scenes, the cameraman told me I was making faces during free throws. I had no idea. We're out! And now, 'House Hunters: Broom Closet Edition.' Cozy open concept.
Jornada 9 — vs Houston Blast-Off
88-132 (D)
Monkey D. Luffy looks dialed in from the start! Unreal swagger preparation showing!
Senhor Fantástico can't find the range! The bússola desgastada has better accuracy than that!
Satoru Gojo loses the orange! A jujutsu sorcerer would never be this careless!
Satoru Gojo, this all-around player, lets the shooter get free at the buzzer! Costly lapse!
Satoru Gojo, this all-around player, shows negative body language! Hot head creeping in!
Break. Son Goku collapses next to the vending machine. Locker room intel: Son Goku has a tattoo of a basketball hoop on his butt. That's commitment. Break's over, the players take their positions.
Senhor Fantástico, this guy with a proven track record, pulls the trigger along the baseline but no luck!
Senhor Fantástico can barely run! The four quarters harder than the four quarters of violarring the natureza selvagem inexplorada!
Son Goku turns it over in the three-point line! Butterfingers from this guerreiro!
Senhor Fantástico looks to the heavens! An explorador praying for the bússola desgastada to work!
Monkey D. Luffy gave it everything! Everything a capitão da marinha mercante has, left on the court!
Senhor Fantástico sits down on the hardwood, head on his knees. Monkey D. Luffy puts a hand on his shoulder without saying a word. I spent my evening screaming into a microphone, and honestly, I'd do it all over again. Thanks for being here. Coming up: 'Forbidden Zone: Behind the Scenes of a Vending Machine.'
Jornada 10 — vs Denver Horse-Track
87-120 (D)
The den welcomes Son Goku! The guerreiro with the o terreno disputado has arrived!
Son Goku fires and misses at the buzzer. Should have stuck with the o terreno disputado!
Son Goku loses possession! The o terreno disputado never leaves a guerreiro's hands like that!
Monkey D. Luffy left in the dust! Even a capitão da marinha mercante moves faster than that!
This guy everybody knows Son Goku stares at the ref! That look could freeze water!
Finally a breather. Satoru Gojo has calf cramps, the physio rushes over. Bus driver's confession: Satoru Gojo raps gibberish during road trips. Loudly. Resumption imminent. The players wrap up their express warm-up.
Monkey D. Luffy, this player making noise, fumbles the finish under the basket! Back to the drawing board!
Satoru Gojo is gassed! This potential breakout star bent over at half court! Sometimes predictable game catching up!
Senhor Fantástico, this do-it-all player, fumbles the entry pass in the paint!
Son Goku, this jersey-selling name, refuses to high-five! Heavy feet hurting the chemistry!
This guy with a proven track record Senhor Fantástico congratulates the opponent. Class in defeat from this guy with a proven track record.
Senhor Fantástico avoids the cameras like the plague. Monkey D. Luffy gets caught. Just says 'we'll be better'. Tonight I yelled so loud the guy in the next booth asked me to keep it down. Mid-game. Thanks for tonight. And now: '60 Minutes: The Secrets of the Office Coffee Machine.'
Jornada 11 — vs New York Over-Timers
85-129 (D)
Senhor Fantástico, this dude putting the league on notice, draws first blood! An off-balance shot to start!
Monkey D. Luffy, this solid build, loses the handle and the opportunity! Heavy feet!
Turnover by Senhor Fantástico! Violarring the natureza selvagem inexplorada requires less coordination, clearly!
Senhor Fantástico gets screened out of the play! This well-respected player lost in traffic!
Monkey D. Luffy mouths off and picks up a T! Hot head taking over!
Halftime whistle. Senhor Fantástico spits into the trash can walking into the locker room. Rumor has it Senhor Fantástico tried to recruit the pizza delivery guy for the team. The guy was 6'9". Break's over, time for basketball. Let's go.
Monkey D. Luffy can't finish! The capitão da marinha mercante who finishes the o navio oceânico can't finish the play!
Satoru Gojo gets the cramp timeout! Cramping from competing the game and hooping!
Hulk throws it into the stands! What was that from this guy with rings on every finger!
Hulk stares in disbelief! The look of a cientista who just lost everything!
Senhor Fantástico consoles teammates! The heart of an explorador in that moment!
Son Goku hurls his water bottle at the wall. Monkey D. Luffy flinches but doesn't react. I spent this game nervously chewing gum. I'm on my seventh piece. This was your favorite commentator. Coming up: 'Extreme Makeover: Garage Edition.' Don't change the channel. Or do.
Jornada 12 — vs Cleveland Twin-Towers
75-120 (D)
Son Goku takes off with energy from the opening whistle! This reliable star locked in!
Brick! Son Goku misfires in transition! Occasional mental lapses at the worst time!
Monkey D. Luffy with the careless pass! Comandarring the o navio oceânico with more care, please!
Hulk, this all-around player, fouls unnecessarily off the pick and roll! Injury-prone body!
Satoru Gojo drops the head after another miss! Tendency to force bad shots sapping the confidence!
Halftime whistle. Hulk flops into the first available chair. Physio's confession: Hulk purrs when you massage his calves. Like a cat. A big cat. Both teams return. You can tell the coach gave them an earful.
Satoru Gojo, this versatile guy, double-clutches and misses! Indecision from this diamond in the rough!
Monkey D. Luffy is gassed! More tired than after a full day of comandarring the o navio oceânico!
Son Goku pulls up the damn ball right to the defense! Costly mistake by this All-Star caliber talent!
This next-level player Monkey D. Luffy hangs the head after the miss! Deflated in the paint!
This player on the come-up Senhor Fantástico shakes hands and moves on. In the end, occasional mental lapses proved costly.
Senhor Fantástico sighs so loudly that the reporters hear it. Satoru Gojo winces. Confession: I nearly fell asleep during the second quarter. The third woke me right up. Good evening! Up next: 'Criminal Minds: Finding the Colleague Who Steals Yogurt from the Fridge.'
Jornada 13 — vs Boston Ring-Chasers
85-130 (D)
Son Goku wins the opening tip! Tipping off with guerreiro energy!
Son Goku can't buy a bucket! Maybe the o terreno disputado would be easier to aim!
Senhor Fantástico passes to nobody! This name that's buzzing with a head-scratching decision!
Son Goku gets burned on the switch! Hotter than a guerreiro's worst day on the job!
Senhor Fantástico walks away muttering! Muttering about the natureza selvagem inexplorada under their breath!
The players file out. Satoru Gojo exchanges a tense look with the coach. Confession: Satoru Gojo believes the away locker room is haunted. Refuses to go in alone. Back to hostilities. Faces have changed in the locker room.
Hulk can't hit from the top of the key! That zone is cursed for this cientista!
Senhor Fantástico powers through! The explorador in them won't quit on the natureza selvagem inexplorada!
This well-respected player Monkey D. Luffy forces a pass into double coverage! Picked off!
This All-Star caliber talent Son Goku shakes the head in disbelief! Nothing going right!
Son Goku reflects on what could have been. Tendency to rush the difference tonight.
Son Goku has bags under his eyes that weren't there before the game. Monkey D. Luffy has aged ten years in forty minutes. Your commentator survived one game, four coffees, and a sandwich of questionable date. See you soon. And now: '911: My Cat Climbed on Top of the Wardrobe.'
Jornada 14 — vs San Antonio Skyscrapers
81-125 (D)
Hulk gets the starting nod! A cientista starting with the seu caderno de laboratório confidence!
Hulk forces an and-one at the buzzer! This once-in-a-lifetime player trying too hard!
Son Goku with the errant pass! This bonafide star needs to settle down!
Son Goku gives up the back door! Defense that's basically a suggestion when overplaying!
Senhor Fantástico, this guy with a proven track record, barks at the teammate! Limited stamina taking over!
Into the tunnel. Satoru Gojo grabs a banana on the way and devours it. Anecdote: Satoru Gojo fell asleep on the bench during an exhibition game. Still got named MVP. We're back! The coach drew stuff on the whiteboard, let's see if it works.
Son Goku rushes an off-balance shot on the low block! Ego the size of Texas creeping in!
Hulk digs deep! Deep as a cientista digs into a verdade oculta!
Senhor Fantástico throws it away! Hot head under pressure along the baseline!
Hulk kicks the air! The frustration of a cientista who knows they can do better!
Hulk fought but fell short! Just out of reach, the cientista gave everything!
Son Goku closes his eyes walking out. Satoru Gojo keeps his wide open, fixed, empty. I tried to take a selfie with the court in the background. My thumb is over the lens. We're out! And now, 'House Hunters: Broom Closet Edition.' Cozy open concept.
Jornada 15 — vs Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest
83-123 (D)
Satoru Gojo bounces the damn ball pre-game! Getting that rhythm going!
Monkey D. Luffy, this smooth operator, can't get a tear drop to drop! Cold as ice tonight!
Son Goku commits the live-ball turnover! The lâmina dentada would be ashamed!
This first-ballot legend Hulk bites on the fake! Beaten off the pick and roll!
Monkey D. Luffy slams the Spalding in frustration! Shaky emotions under pressure on full display!
Rest. Hulk buries his head in a wet towel and doesn't move. Intel: Hulk asked Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest for their energy drink recipe. They refused. Back on the court. The crowd greets them with a standing ovation.
Senhor Fantástico misfires at the buzzer! This legit talent searching for answers!
Hulk bends over, hands on knees! Exhausted like a cientista after the seu caderno de laboratório overtime!
Senhor Fantástico, this versatile guy, gets called for the carry! Occasional mental lapses in ball-handling!
Senhor Fantástico launches and kicks the stanchion! This next-level player losing composure!
Satoru Gojo leaves the floor quietly! Quiet as a jujutsu sorcerer after the game setback!
Senhor Fantástico walks like someone carrying the weight of the world. Monkey D. Luffy drags one foot after the other. During the third quarter, I spilled my soup. Yes, I had soup in the booth. Don't judge. Thanks everyone! And now: 'Keeping Up with the Kardashians: Season 312.' They will never stop.
My Team finishes #16 (0W-15L). Better luck next season! MVP: Senhor Fantástico.
Diário da temporada
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