Meu cinco inicial dos sonhos — basketball_team 🇧🇷
5 membros · TeamBranch
Diário da temporada
Classificação
| # | Team | V | D | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Detroit Engine-Roar | 15 | 0 | 30 |
| 2 | San Antonio Skyscrapers | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 3 | Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 4 | Boston Ring-Chasers | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 5 | Denver Horse-Track | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 6 | Cleveland Twin-Towers | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 7 | New York Over-Timers | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 8 | Houston Blast-Off | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 9 | Toronto Border-Patrol | 7 | 8 | 14 |
| 10 | Minnesota Ice-Wall | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 11 | Phoenix No-Defense | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 12 | Los Angeles Nursing-Home | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 13 | Philadelphia Injury-Report | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 14 | My Team | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 15 | Orlando Magic-Beans | 1 | 14 | 2 |
| 16 | Miami Heart-Attack | 0 | 15 | 0 |
Pré-temporada
Alright, sit your ass down for two minutes because tonight we're not messing around, we're diving headfirst into a sold-out arena that smells like rubber and sweat, with 20,000 fans ready to lose their damn voices. We're about to relive the saga of a franchise that's seen it all: the glory years when they bulldozed the league, the dark ages when nothing went in, and the Draft-night strokes of genius that brought them back to the summit. This ain't just basketball, this is American legend carried by physical freaks who aren't here to play nice, they're here to carve their names into NBA history with psycho stat lines and rim-rattling dunks that shake the whole damn building. The team with no name, baby! If you paid for your ticket tonight, there's one reason and one reason only, and that reason's name is LeBron James. Standing at 206 cm, marathon-runner cardio, and surgeon's hands. This man catches a ball mid-flight the way you grab the remote off the couch. Except he follows it up with a spin move, a step-back, and a 30-footer that doesn't even touch the rim. Nothing but net. Every single time. Like the basket is magnetized to the damn ball. And the most terrifying thing about him? It's not the stats, it's not the size, it's the calm. You know that moment where the arena is on its feet, the clock is ticking down the final seconds, sweat is pouring... And he's just chewing his gum like he's waiting for the bus? Then he loads up. And drains it. Stone cold. In front of 20,000 people on the verge of cardiac arrest. That's what a franchise player is: the guy who carries everyone on his shoulders and still makes it look easy. Moment of truth, folks. You see the guy at the end of the bench, the one who looks completely lost among the giants? That's Imperador Taishō. A militar in civilian life. The kind of guy who handles seu fuzil de serviço better than a basketball, and who somehow ended up on a professional roster because the coach "had a vision." A vision, ladies and gentlemen. Probably somewhere between his second and third mojito at the All-Star Weekend party. Imperador Taishō has a unique playing style: he runs a lot, understands very little, and has an unfortunate tendency to treat a linha da frente and the basketball exact same way. The fans already love him. Not for his stats (he has none) but because every time he steps on the court, it's Christmas morning. Now listen up, the owner has pulled out the checkbook and he's willing to eat the luxury tax penalties. We're in the big leagues. Two max contracts, well-paid veterans on every corner. They're all-in. Every extra dollar spent costs them three in taxes, but they don't care: they want to raise that trophy in June and they've got the firepower to back it up.
Jornada 1 — vs Detroit Engine-Roar
90-134 (D)
Imperador Taishō steps onto the arena! From defenderring a linha da frente to this, game time!
A sky hook attempt by Tim Maia falls short! Tendency to rush in the legs!
Michael Jordan with the backcourt violation! This certified GOAT candidate under too much pressure!
Michael Jordan gets posted up and scored on! This basketball god overpowered!
LeBron James can't mask the disappointment! This franchise cornerstone wearing it on the sleeve!
End of the first half. Michael Jordan is beet red but still standing. Anecdote: Michael Jordan fell asleep on the bench during an exhibition game. Still got named MVP. Back at it! The players jog toward center court.
Tim Maia, this tweener, gets stuffed trying a catch-and-shoot triple! Denied!
LeBron James explodes but can't sustain the effort! Defense that's basically a suggestion emptying the tank!
This hall-of-fame lock Michael Jordan loses concentration and the Wilson with it!
Michael Jordan, this mammoth, pounds the scorer's table! Heavy feet on full display!
Stephen Curry, this elite player, will be back stronger. This defeat fuels the fire.
LeBron James punches his locker when he gets to the locker room. Tim Maia slides down the wall to the floor. I discovered tonight that my mic was off for three minutes. Three minutes of pure genius, lost forever. See you at the next game. In the meantime: 'MasterClass: How to Fold a Fitted Sheet.' Gripping television.
Jornada 2 — vs Miami Heart-Attack
117-99 (V)
Michael Jordan, this undisputed superstar, embraces the palpable tension! Game on!
Stephen Curry, this smooth operator, showcases that dawg mentality with a gorgeous floater!
This who-is-this-guy player Tim Maia takes the charge at the buzzer! Gutsy play!
This franchise cornerstone LeBron James turns the corner and finds the open man! Unselfish!
Stephen Curry uses the hesitation dribble! An off-the-charts basketball IQ creating separation!
Break! LeBron James grabs an ice bag and slaps it on his knee. Little secret: LeBron James listens to Celine Dion to focus. I repeat, Celine Dion. The tunnel spits the players out. The war resumes.
Imperador Taishō scoops it up and in! The touch of a militar with a linha da frente!
This once-in-a-lifetime player Michael Jordan draws the MVP chants! The crowd is on their feet for the star!
LeBron James, this colossus, repositions on defense! Freakish explosiveness collective effort!
LeBron James launches with elegance and power! This potential GOAT is the complete package!
LeBron James steps back the trophy! This hall-of-fame lock adds to the collection! A bench mob celebration!
Stephen Curry blows a kiss to the camera. Michael Jordan blows twelve. LeBron James blocks the lens. I tried to take a selfie with the court in the background. My thumb is over the lens. Alright, good night! Up next: 'Planet Earth: Exploring the World from My Couch.' Immersive documentary.
Jornada 3 — vs Orlando Magic-Beans
123-90 (V)
Tim Maia begins their shift on the field house! A guitarrista starting the sua guitarra elétrica shift!
This certified bucket Imperador Taishō punishes the defense with a floater back to the basket!
LeBron James, this global icon, sets the table at half court! Assist master!
This big-name player Imperador Taishō with a vintage catch-and-shoot triple! The old magic is still there!
Imperador Taishō, this all-around player, swats it into the third row! A perfect contest!
First half is done. LeBron James is chugging Gatorade like it's water. Small detail: LeBron James wears mismatched socks every game. Calls it a strategy. Back on the floor, faces full of determination.
Imperador Taishō converts the and-one! Tough as defenderring a linha da frente all day!
Michael Jordan, this big fella, is toying with the opposition facing the rim! Dominant!
Michael Jordan, this mammoth, flexes after a missed shot! This generational talent keeping it positive!
Imperador Taishō mimics using the seu fuzil de serviço as a microphone! The militar is the star tonight!
LeBron James, this all-time great, high-fives the bench! A salute to the fans! Team effort!
Imperador Taishō and Tim Maia act out a movie scene where they reunite in slow motion. The crowd is dying. My wife texted me: 'when are you coming home?' I said 'after the game.' That was two hours ago. Good night everyone! And now, the show nobody asked for: 'Pigeon Hunters.'
Jornada 4 — vs Philadelphia Injury-Report
93-102 (D)
Michael Jordan, this towering presence, is introduced and the arena explodes! This guy with rings on every finger is in the building!
Imperador Taishō can't convert! The militar's touch with a linha da frente deserted them!
Tim Maia throws it out of bounds! Like launching the sua guitarra elétrica into the void!
Stephen Curry reacts too late to rotate! Lack of consistency on the help side!
LeBron James pulls up and drills an alley-oop! Can't teach that!
Halftime. The doctor examines LeBron James's shoulder while the others catch their breath. Did you know LeBron James knits to unwind? Made a scarf in Philadelphia Injury-Report's colors. By accident, obviously. Play resumes! The coach set a few things straight in the locker room.
LeBron James, this first-ballot legend, with the frustrated foul! Defense that's basically a suggestion in tough moments!
This certified GOAT candidate Michael Jordan short-arms a floater driving to the hoop! Not enough lift!
LeBron James, this giant, uses the jab step to freeze the defender! Crafty!
Stephen Curry is visibly tired! This world-class player needs a timeout badly!
This absolute legend Michael Jordan stares at the scoreboard. Not the outcome this absolute legend wanted.
Michael Jordan looks like someone who hasn't slept in three days. Tim Maia looks like someone who won't sleep tonight. I spent my evening screaming into a microphone, and honestly, I'd do it all over again. Thanks for being here. Now put down the remote, it's time for 'Wheel of Misfortune.'
Jornada 5 — vs Phoenix No-Defense
116-107 (V)
LeBron James fires up the crowd to open the game! This undisputed superstar starting strong!
Michael Jordan, this big fella, uses strength and skill for a floater! Complete player!
LeBron James, this towering presence, recovers and contests! Never-give-up effort fueled by silky smooth technique!
Michael Jordan with the bounce pass! This franchise cornerstone threading it perfectly!
This franchise cornerstone Michael Jordan sets the back screen! Unreal swagger off-ball contribution!
Break. The coach is yelling in the tunnel, Stephen Curry picks up the pace. Did you know? Stephen Curry tried to become a rapper before basketball. The world dodged a bullet. Break's over, the players take their positions.
Imperador Taishō rises and fires! Defenderring a linha da frente never felt this athletic!
This franchise guy Imperador Taishō turns the hostile crowd into stunned silence!
Stephen Curry, this all-around player, holds the team together with that dawg mentality! Captain!
Stephen Curry, this combo guard, is on a mission! Nothing can stop this headliner right now!
Imperador Taishō leaves everything on the den! Left it all out there tonight!
Stephen Curry runs to the coach and lifts the coach up. Not thrilled but smiles anyway. During the game, I got a text from my mom: 'Stop yelling, I can hear you from here.' She lives 120 miles away. See you at the next game! In the meantime: 'Pawn Stars: Selling a Pen Without a Cap.'
Jornada 6 — vs Los Angeles Nursing-Home
104-95 (V)
The game begins and LeBron James is ready! You can see an unmatched feel for the game written all over his face!
This world-class player Stephen Curry capitalizes driving to the hoop! An off-balance shot with pure God-given talent!
Stephen Curry with the chase-down brilliant anticipation! What athleticism!
This household name Michael Jordan with the one-handed bullet pass! Right on the money!
Michael Jordan pushes the pace in transition! Iron discipline showing in every play!
Both teams head to the locker room. Imperador Taishō wipes his forehead with his jersey. Rumor has it Imperador Taishō does 100 push-ups before every game. Or 10. Depends who you ask. The buzzer calls the players. Time for the show, act II.
LeBron James converts under the basket! A layup with trademark ridiculous creativity!
The arena is electric! This undisputed superstar LeBron James thriving in a roaring arena!
Stephen Curry fades away the pick-and-roll to perfection! Chemistry on display!
This first-ballot legend LeBron James embraces the pressure! This is what greatness looks like!
LeBron James, this hall-of-fame lock, with the post-game interview smile! Unreal swagger all night!
Imperador Taishō makes a heart with his hands toward the camera. Stephen Curry makes a bigger heart. Michael Jordan makes a massive heart. I got a text from Imperador Taishō after the game. Just kidding. Nobody texts me. Until next time! Up next: 'Kitchen Nightmares: Corporate Cafeteria.' This is gonna be good.
Jornada 7 — vs Toronto Border-Patrol
93-98 (D)
Imperador Taishō opens with a pull-up jumper! This established star making an early statement!
LeBron James launches a hook shot and... Airball! Shaky emotions under pressure at its peak!
Stolen from Imperador Taishō! A militar who let it slip through their fingers!
Tim Maia turns the head and loses the man! This hidden prospect napping defensively!
LeBron James rises up to the rack for a scoop layup! Can't contain this mammoth!
Both teams head in. LeBron James has a red mark on his cheek from an elbow. Confession: LeBron James calls mom after every loss. And every win. And also on Tuesdays. Act two! The bench players are fired up, the starters too.
Michael Jordan slams the leather in frustration! Occasional mental lapses on full display!
The rim rejects Imperador Taishō! The rim says no! Even a militar gets rejected sometimes!
Stephen Curry, this bonafide star, orchestrates the delay game! Eyes in the back of the head in action!
Stephen Curry is cramping up! This certified bucket trying to shake it off! Ego the size of Texas!
Imperador Taishō shakes hands through the pain! A militar who respects the seu fuzil de serviço and the game!
Stephen Curry punches his locker when he gets to the locker room. Michael Jordan slides down the wall to the floor. Did you know that Michael Jordan practices guitarrista on Tuesdays? Builds character, that does. That's all for tonight. And now: 'Deadliest Catch: Rush Hour on the Beltway.' Documentary.
Jornada 8 — vs Minnesota Ice-Wall
109-110 (D)
This max-contract guy Imperador Taishō in the starting lineup! Let's see what this max-contract guy brings!
Tim Maia, this swiss-army-knife type, elevates for a monster reverse layup!
This absolute legend LeBron James picks up the cheap foul! Lack of consistency showing!
This all-time great LeBron James misfires again! Tendency to force bad shots could cost the team!
Michael Jordan penetrates with renewed energy! This undisputed superstar smells blood!
Halftime whistle. Tim Maia has dried blood on his elbow but plays tough. They say Tim Maia has a ritual where he touches the basket post three times. If someone watches, starts over. The buzzer calls the players. Time for the show, act II.
Imperador Taishō turns it over on the decisive possession! Worst time to drop the pill!
This basketball god Michael Jordan gets into it with the opponent! Tempers flaring!
Imperador Taishō's hands tell two stories,the seu fuzil de serviço by day, the Wilson by night!
Stephen Curry, this swiss-army-knife type, chokes on the big stage! In the money time miss!
Stephen Curry posts up to the tunnel in disappointment. This reliable star will learn from this.
LeBron James's eyes are glassy. Michael Jordan mumbles 'we'll get them next time' without believing it. On my end, I ate peanuts through the entire third quarter. Salt is my drug of choice. Good evening! Up next: 'Criminal Minds: Finding the Colleague Who Steals Yogurt from the Fridge.'
Jornada 9 — vs Houston Blast-Off
95-116 (D)
Imperador Taishō lands the first hook shot! First blood! The militar strikes first!
This once-in-a-lifetime player LeBron James misses the mark! A finger roll goes begging in transition!
Michael Jordan coughs up the pill! Tendency to force bad shots strikes again from way beyond the arc!
LeBron James overcommits and gets beat! Heavy feet when reading the play!
Michael Jordan strings together an off-balance shot under the basket. That dawg mentality on full display!
Break. LeBron James's socks are soaking wet — quick change on the spot. True story: LeBron James had his parking spot stolen by Houston Blast-Off's mascot. Still talks about it. Here they come. Fresh as daisies. Or not. We'll find out soon enough.
Tim Maia mouths off at after a timeout! A guitarrista venting about the o solo ardente!
Tim Maia can't buy a shot! Wouldn't happen with the o solo ardente, a guitarrista always hits!
Imperador Taishō runs the offense! Running it like a militar runs the show!
LeBron James lets fly sluggishly! Hot head catching up with this potential GOAT!
This headliner Stephen Curry congratulates the opponent. Class in defeat from this headliner.
LeBron James claps his hands in frustration. Imperador Taishō clenches his jaw so hard you can hear it from here. I learned tonight that LeBron James used to be a guitarrista. That explains the unique running style. Thanks for being here. Now put down the remote, it's time for 'Wheel of Misfortune.'
Jornada 10 — vs Denver Horse-Track
94-111 (D)
Imperador Taishō, this top-tier talent, wins the opening tip! Great start for the team!
Imperador Taishō misses badly! Should have aimed like they aim the seu fuzil de serviço at a linha da frente!
Imperador Taishō, this do-it-all player, telegraphs the pass! Intercepted off the pick and roll!
Tim Maia gets crossed over! This unknown gem left frozen under the basket!
Imperador Taishō attacks the Wilson with flair and hits a sky hook! Sensational!
Finally a breather. Stephen Curry has calf cramps, the physio rushes over. Anecdote: Stephen Curry threw up before his first pro game. No more pre-game burgers ever since. On to the next chapter. The court is just waiting for the ball.
Imperador Taishō stares in disbelief! The look of a militar who just lost everything!
Michael Jordan forces a bad devastating dunk! This first-ballot legend needs to trust teammates!
This multi-time All-Star Stephen Curry calls the audible! Changed the play and it works!
This reliable star Stephen Curry can barely get up the court! Fatigue setting in!
Stephen Curry sits alone on the bench. This max-contract guy processing the defeat.
Tim Maia taps the tunnel wall as if trying to pass through it. Stephen Curry walks through the door without pushing it. On my end, I ate three chocolate bars during the timeouts. Sports make you hungry, even in the booth. Thanks for being here. Coming up: 'Forbidden Zone: Behind the Scenes of a Vending Machine.'
Jornada 11 — vs New York Over-Timers
99-118 (D)
This All-Star caliber talent Stephen Curry means business! Fast start in transition!
Stephen Curry rushes an off-balance shot in the paint! Injury-prone body creeping in!
Imperador Taishō double-dribbles! Defenderring a linha da frente doesn't have that rule!
Tim Maia watches them score! Just watching, like watching the sua guitarra elétrica gather dust!
Tim Maia goes coast to coast for a deep three! This potential breakout star is relentless!
Rest. Michael Jordan buries his head in a wet towel and doesn't move. Intel: Michael Jordan once called an imaginary timeout in the middle of a game. The ref actually hesitated. Here we go again. The players have changed jerseys.
LeBron James mouths off and picks up a T! Sometimes predictable game taking over!
Imperador Taishō fires and misses from the low block. Should have stuck with a linha da frente!
Imperador Taishō sets the screen at the perfect angle! This big-name player cerebral play!
LeBron James shoots but the legs won't cooperate! Heavy feet catching up!
Despite the loss, Imperador Taishō held their own with a linha da frente! The militar fought!
Imperador Taishō and LeBron James share a single look. Just one. It contains all the disappointment in the world. On my end, I ate peanuts through the entire third quarter. Salt is my drug of choice. Good night! And now: 'Naked and Afraid: Lost in the Shopping Mall.'
Jornada 12 — vs Cleveland Twin-Towers
80-123 (D)
Imperador Taishō gets the starting nod! A militar starting with the seu fuzil de serviço confidence!
Tim Maia penetrates but overcooks it! Defense that's basically a suggestion showing up again!
Imperador Taishō, this tweener, steps out of bounds with the Spalding! Mental lapse!
Tim Maia gets blown by! Even a guitarrista couldn't stop that!
This big-name player Stephen Curry shakes the head in disbelief! Nothing going right!
Break! Stephen Curry has left a puddle of sweat at every step through the tunnel. True story: Stephen Curry had his parking spot stolen by Cleveland Twin-Towers's mascot. Still talks about it. Back on the floor, faces full of determination.
Tim Maia bricks another one! Building something awful with the sua guitarra elétrica tonight!
This guy everybody knows Stephen Curry can barely jump! The springs are gone from the right corner!
Imperador Taishō, this solid build, gets the ball poked away! Heavy feet when protecting the ball!
Tim Maia, this unknown gem, refuses to high-five! Limited stamina hurting the chemistry!
LeBron James had the chances but couldn't convert. This household name left wanting.
Michael Jordan collapses into the first available chair. Tim Maia stays standing, eyes glazed over. Meanwhile, your favorite commentator spilled coffee on the mixing board. Twice. Thanks everyone! Up next: 'Ice Road Truckers: Uber Eats Delivery on a Rainy Night.'
Jornada 13 — vs Boston Ring-Chasers
97-117 (D)
LeBron James, this absolute unit, sets the tone immediately! Natural-born leadership from the jump!
Tim Maia misfires at the buzzer! Even this surprise package has off nights!
Imperador Taishō charges right into the defender! Turnover! Injury-prone body when controlling pace!
Michael Jordan, this tower, gets dunked on driving to the hoop! Poster material!
Tim Maia goes to work and it's a thunderous slam! This newcomer proving the doubters wrong!
Halftime whistle! Michael Jordan grabs a towel and collapses on the bench. I've been told Michael Jordan always puts his left shoe on first. The one day he switched, gave up 40 points. Come on, second half! The best is yet to come. Or the worst. Who knows.
LeBron James crosses over angrily after the turnover! This franchise cornerstone spiraling!
LeBron James, this giant, double-clutches and misses! Indecision from this all-time great!
Michael Jordan identifies the soft spot in the zone! This potential GOAT surgical precision!
Michael Jordan, this living legend, sucking wind after that sprint! The allotted time of battle!
Tim Maia walks off in defeat! Even a guitarrista's skills couldn't save tonight!
LeBron James shakes Michael Jordan's hand in silence. Not a word. Just a look that says it all. My wife texted me: 'when are you coming home?' I said 'after the game.' That was two hours ago. This was your favorite commentator. Coming up: 'Extreme Makeover: Garage Edition.' Don't change the channel. Or do.
Jornada 14 — vs San Antonio Skyscrapers
103-118 (D)
This potential GOAT LeBron James opens the scoring! A two-handed slam! Early advantage!
Brick! Stephen Curry misfires from downtown! Injury-prone body at the worst time!
Imperador Taishō throws it away! Defense that's basically a suggestion under pressure along the baseline!
LeBron James falls asleep on the weak side! Tendency to rush exposed!
A half-court heave by Stephen Curry at the buzzer! An off-the-charts basketball IQ in every fiber!
Break time. Tim Maia bolts to the locker room without looking at anyone. Intel: Tim Maia refuses to play if the ball isn't inflated to exactly 8 PSI. Not 7.9, not 8.1. Eight. The players jog toward the court. The air is electric.
This household name LeBron James hangs the head after the miss! Deflated from the left corner!
LeBron James, this mountain of a man, bobbles the pill and the chance evaporates in the paint!
This first-ballot legend Michael Jordan recognizes the over-help and punishes it!
LeBron James, this giant, laboring up and down! Injury-prone body draining the energy!
Tim Maia absorbs the defeat! Taking it on the chin, a guitarrista knows tough days!
Tim Maia sits on the floor in the hallway. Michael Jordan sits down next to him. Nobody speaks. Confession: I bet against my favorite team tonight. Superstition. It works half the time. Good evening! Up next: 'Criminal Minds: Finding the Colleague Who Steals Yogurt from the Fridge.'
Jornada 15 — vs Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest
101-115 (D)
Stephen Curry crosses over onto the floor! The crowd roars for this big-name player!
Imperador Taishō, this versatile guy, draws the foul but can't capitalize! Injury-prone body!
This surprise package Tim Maia commits the offensive foul! Turnover in the paint!
Imperador Taishō gets posterized! A militar framed by the seu fuzil de serviço in the worst way!
Stephen Curry with the decisive half-court heave! Iron discipline when it matters most!
Break. LeBron James collapses next to the vending machine. Locker room anecdote: LeBron James talks to a sock called 'Assistant Coach.' We don't judge. We're back! The players look fired up.
Tim Maia argues with the ref! The same passion they bring to triturarring the o solo ardente!
Stephen Curry, this smooth operator, gets the look along the baseline but the lid's on the rim!
This all-time great LeBron James adjusts the angle mid-drive! Nerves of steel body control!
Imperador Taishō short-arms the shot from fatigue! This elite player has nothing left!
Tim Maia reflects on what could have been. Shaky emotions under pressure the difference tonight.
Imperador Taishō looks like someone who hasn't slept in three days. Tim Maia looks like someone who won't sleep tonight. On my end, I ate peanuts through the entire third quarter. Salt is my drug of choice. That's it for tonight. Coming up: 'Nailed It: Cakes Ruined by My Mother-in-Law.'
My Team finishes #14 (4W-11L). Better luck next season! MVP: LeBron James.
Diário da temporada
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