My dream starting five — basketball_team 🇲🇽
5 miembros · TeamBranch
Diario de temporada
Clasificación
| # | Team | V | D | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Detroit Engine-Roar | 15 | 0 | 30 |
| 2 | Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 3 | San Antonio Skyscrapers | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 4 | New York Over-Timers | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 5 | Boston Ring-Chasers | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 6 | My Team | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 7 | Cleveland Twin-Towers | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 8 | Denver Horse-Track | 7 | 8 | 14 |
| 9 | Houston Blast-Off | 7 | 8 | 14 |
| 10 | Minnesota Ice-Wall | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 11 | Miami Heart-Attack | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 12 | Toronto Border-Patrol | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 13 | Phoenix No-Defense | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 14 | Orlando Magic-Beans | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 15 | Los Angeles Nursing-Home | 3 | 12 | 6 |
| 16 | Philadelphia Injury-Report | 3 | 12 | 6 |
Pretemporada
Stop. Everybody shut up. You feel that? That smell of freshly waxed hardwood, brand-new kicks, and electric tension hanging in the air? That's the smell of a night that's going down in the history books. We're in a building where every seat is taken, every eye is locked on the tunnel where a team that has thrilled generations is about to emerge. Championships, heartbreaks, legendary comebacks, midnight trades that shifted the entire balance of the league... This franchise is a damn novel all by itself. And tonight, we're starting the next chapter. The team with no name, baby! Listen, I've watched hundreds of players come and go in my broadcasting career, but LeBron James is something else entirely. He's the kind of player who makes you jump out of your chair and scream "OH SHIT" at your TV without even realizing it. Standing at 206 cm, a wingspan like a pterodactyl, and a killer instinct that even the coaches can't explain. This man feels the game. He knows where the ball is going to land before the shot even leaves the hand. He reads passes like he's reading minds. At this level, it's not basketball anymore, it's straight-up sorcery. The opposing locker room before the game, you know what they talk about? Not the game plan. Not the offensive scheme. No. They talk about HIM. "How do we stop him?" "Who takes the matchup?" "Does he look tired?" Spoiler: he's never tired. And even when he looks tired, it's a trap. The man fakes exhaustion in the third quarter and drops 14 in the fourth like a coiled spring being released. Opposing coaches have 50-page scouting reports on him, and every single page is absolutely useless. And because this season couldn't possibly be normal, the coach went out and signed Kanye West. The man. Is. A rapero o rapera. I'm going to let that marinate for two seconds. A rapero o rapera. On a professional basketball court. With guys who jump 3 feet off the ground. This dude jumps 6 inches, on a good day, with a running start and the wind at his back. But he's got su micrófono abierto and apparently, the technical motion of a rapero o rapera and a pull-up jumper are "basically the same thing, give or take 90 degrees." That's what the coach said. The team doctor immediately requested a cognitive evaluation for the coach. The budget, let's talk about it. Or actually, let's not, because it'll make you dizzy. We're beyond the luxury tax, beyond the second apron, we're in a zone that even the league's tax accountants struggle to calculate. The owner burns cash like others burn firewood, and he doesn't bat an eye. Every season this team doesn't win the title is a financial scandal. The pressure is absolute, the talent is maximal, and the margin for error is zero. Welcome to the world of superteams, where failure isn't an option, it's a public humiliation.
Jornada 1 — vs Detroit Engine-Roar
83-113 (D)
LeBron James, this tower, announced to huge cheers! An electric crowd!
An off-balance shot from LeBron James hits the iron! Lack of consistency under the spotlight!
Kanye West explodes into a dead end back to the basket! Turnover! Sometimes predictable game!
Seth Curry gets posted up and scored on! This seasoned vet overpowered!
Seth Curry, this combo guard, pounds the scorer's table! Tendency to rush on full display!
Halftime! LeBron James walks barefoot on the cold tunnel tiles. Did you know LeBron James knits to unwind? Made a scarf in Detroit Engine-Roar's colors. By accident, obviously. Resetting the counters for this second half. Well, not really.
Kanye West misfires at the top of the key! Even this generational talent has off nights!
Seth Curry posts up sluggishly! Occasional mental lapses catching up with this league veteran!
This max-contract guy Derrick Rose dribbles off the foot! Unforced error!
This all-time great Kanye West can't believe the call! Arguing with the ref!
Kanye West wipes a tear! A rapero o rapera who poured everything into the effort!
Derrick Rose slams his fist on the bench. LeBron James places his palm flat, as if to calm the surface. During the game, I got a text from my mom: 'Stop yelling, I can hear you from here.' She lives 120 miles away. That's all for tonight. And now: 'Deadliest Catch: Rush Hour on the Beltway.' Documentary.
Jornada 2 — vs Miami Heart-Attack
101-108 (D)
This seasoned vet Seth Curry catches the ball early and goes to work! Opening salvo!
LeBron James, this oversized freak, wastes a golden chance with a wild reverse layup!
Carmelo Anthony with the lazy pass! Defense that's basically a suggestion leading to easy points!
This world-class player Derrick Rose gives up the offensive rebound! Lack of consistency when boxing out!
Carmelo Anthony scores with a gym-rat work ethic. A reverse layup on the low block! Too smooth!
Halftime! Derrick Rose has the hardwood pattern imprinted on his elbow. Fun fact: Derrick Rose was voted best-looking player on the team. By his mom. In a poll she created herself. There they are. The coach must have found the right words.
Derrick Rose spins and kicks the stanchion! This elite player losing composure!
Kanye West takes a tough finger roll and it doesn't go! Ego the size of Texas in shot selection!
Carmelo Anthony goes to work to the right spot! That dawg mentality off-ball movement!
Seth Curry is gassed! This well-respected player bent over at half court! Hot head catching up!
This established player Seth Curry shakes hands and moves on. In the end, hot head proved costly.
Kanye West avoids the cameras like the plague. Seth Curry gets caught. Just says 'we'll be better'. On my end, I ate three chocolate bars during the timeouts. Sports make you hungry, even in the booth. We're out! And now, 'House Hunters: Broom Closet Edition.' Cozy open concept.
Jornada 3 — vs Orlando Magic-Beans
87-103 (D)
This franchise guy Carmelo Anthony gets the crowd going early! The energy is building!
Kanye West forces a deep three from downtown! This absolute legend trying too hard!
This All-Star caliber talent Derrick Rose with turnover number buckets! Shaky emotions under pressure is piling up!
Kanye West gambles for the steal and pays the price! Hot head!
LeBron James, this giant, carves up the defense for a fadeaway jumper! Beautiful!
Halftime whistle! Derrick Rose slides down against the hallway wall. Fun fact: Derrick Rose got rejected at a casting for a deodorant commercial. The irony. And we're off! The energy in the arena just went up a notch.
LeBron James slams the leather in frustration! Tendency to force bad shots on full display!
Derrick Rose with a rough buzzer beater from way beyond the arc! Injury-prone body at the worst time!
Carmelo Anthony, this world-class player, orchestrates the delay game! Iron discipline in action!
Derrick Rose crosses over a step slower than usual! Limited stamina in the tank!
This guy with rings on every finger LeBron James stares at the scoreboard. Not the outcome this guy with rings on every finger wanted.
Derrick Rose hurls his water bottle at the wall. LeBron James flinches but doesn't react. I got a text from Derrick Rose after the game. Just kidding. Nobody texts me. Until next time! Up next: 'Kitchen Nightmares: Corporate Cafeteria.' This is gonna be good.
Jornada 4 — vs Philadelphia Injury-Report
117-94 (V)
Carmelo Anthony fades away with energy from the opening whistle! This world-class player locked in!
Derrick Rose with night-in night-out consistency finds the angle for a two-handed slam!
Seth Curry, this dude putting the league on notice, shuts down the play at half court! Lockdown defender!
This elite player Carmelo Anthony finds the open man! Assist and an alley-oop!
Seth Curry, this legit talent, manages the clock beautifully in the closing moments!
Halftime whistle! Seth Curry slides down against the hallway wall. Did you know? Seth Curry launched a basketball podcast. Two episodes. Zero listeners. Still going. The players charge out of the tunnel. Smells like a comeback.
Carmelo Anthony dribbles the ball into an and-one! Unreal swagger shining through!
Carmelo Anthony soaks in a Playoff atmosphere! This multi-time All-Star living for these moments!
LeBron James, this big fella, boxes out for the teammate! This absolute legend doing the dirty work!
LeBron James dunks with the fire of a thousand suns! He's on fire!
That's the game! LeBron James finishes with a monster performance! This potential GOAT victorious!
LeBron James takes a bow for the crowd. Seth Curry bows to LeBron James. The nobility of basketball. During the game, I counted how many times I said 'incredible.' Seventeen. A personal record. See you soon. And now: '911: My Cat Climbed on Top of the Wardrobe.'
Jornada 5 — vs Phoenix No-Defense
119-100 (V)
This legit talent Seth Curry means business! Fast start from mid-range!
Derrick Rose posts up through traffic and scores! Incredible finish!
Seth Curry with the full-court pressure! This respected competitor making them uncomfortable!
This top-tier talent Derrick Rose exploits the gap! Dime to the corner for a hook shot!
Seth Curry steps back into the right spacing! Next-level basketball IQ and elite court awareness!
The locker room fills up. Seth Curry has already eaten three oranges. Anecdote: Seth Curry once shot at the wrong basket during warm-ups. Nobody has forgotten. Act two! The bench players are fired up, the starters too.
Carmelo Anthony, this All-Star caliber talent, unleashes a tear drop from downtown! Bang!
A boiling cauldron as Kanye West warms up with some rapero o rapera moves!
Kanye West crosses over the pick-and-roll to perfection! Chemistry on display!
LeBron James, this global icon, has the intangibles! Night-in night-out consistency beyond the stats!
Kanye West reflects on the game! The thoughtful reflection of a rapero o rapera after a big day!
Kanye West pretends to plant a flag at center court. Seth Curry stands at attention. Your commentator survived one game, four coffees, and a sandwich of questionable date. Thanks everyone! Up next: 'Ice Road Truckers: Uber Eats Delivery on a Rainy Night.'
Jornada 6 — vs Los Angeles Nursing-Home
109-99 (V)
The floor welcomes Kanye West! The rapero o rapera with the las barras ardientes has arrived!
Seth Curry, this legit talent, operates at half court with a devastating dunk! Clinic!
Carmelo Anthony, this bonafide star, walls up from downtown! Impenetrable defense!
Seth Curry lets fly and dishes! Gorgeous feed from downtown! Silky smooth technique!
Derrick Rose reads the defense perfectly! A gym-rat work ethic and a sky-high basketball IQ!
Break! Carmelo Anthony rips his shoes off the second he reaches the locker room. Little scoop: Carmelo Anthony logs every game in a notebook. With stars and smiley faces. At that age. Back at it! The coach said two words. Two words that were enough.
LeBron James, this big fella, uses every inch to deliver a deep three!
The crowd chants Kanye West's name! A sold-out gym on fire for the rapero o rapera with the su micrófono abierto!
This reliable star Carmelo Anthony dives for the loose ball! Unreal swagger on every play!
LeBron James, this giant, embodies the spirit of competition! What a show!
Carmelo Anthony, this world-class player, points to the crowd! A primal scream! This was for the fans!
Derrick Rose does a belly slide on the court. LeBron James does a back slide. The hardwood is ruined. Confession: I bet against my favorite team tonight. Superstition. It works half the time. Sleep tight! Coming up: 'Forensic Files: Who Finished the Milk Without Telling Anyone.'
Jornada 7 — vs Toronto Border-Patrol
118-107 (V)
Tip-off! Seth Curry gets us started! Let's go!
This franchise cornerstone LeBron James converts from the left corner! A bucket right on cue!
Kanye West times it perfectly and rejects the shot! A drawn charge driving to the hoop!
This certified bucket Derrick Rose orchestrates the offense from way beyond the arc! Maestro!
This next-level player Seth Curry switches defensive assignments on the fly! An off-the-charts basketball IQ!
Players head to the locker room. Kanye West has tape on three fingers. Did you know Kanye West entered the dunk contest... At 5'9"? Courage knows no height. Back to business. The players bounce around to warm up.
Carmelo Anthony drains a hook shot from the right corner! Textbook an unmatched feel for the game!
Kanye West tips their kicks to the crowd! The rapero o rapera gesture with the su micrófono abierto!
Seth Curry, this guy with a proven track record, runs the play exactly as drawn! Execution!
Carmelo Anthony rises up like a player possessed! An unmatched feel for the game unleashed!
Carmelo Anthony, this top-tier talent, embraces the teammates! A primal scream! Sweet victory!
Seth Curry does a backflip. Well, he tries. Carmelo Anthony applauds the effort. Your commentator broke his personal screaming record tonight. My throat is not thanking me. We're done for tonight. And now: 'Ancient Aliens: The True History of the Coffee Break.'
Jornada 8 — vs Minnesota Ice-Wall
106-105 (V)
This respected competitor Seth Curry opens the scoring! A floater! Early advantage!
LeBron James, this beanpole, swats it into the third row! A ball recovery!
This big-name player Derrick Rose whiffs on a scoop layup! The crowd groans!
A finger roll from Carmelo Anthony! This bonafide star reminding everyone why they're on top!
Kanye West spaces the floor perfectly! Great read of the system!
Coach calls everyone back. LeBron James drags his feet toward the tunnel. Did you know? LeBron James tried to become a rapper before basketball. The world dodged a bullet. Here they come. You can read the determination on their faces.
LeBron James shoots for the game-tying finger roll! In the dying seconds! Unbelievable!
LeBron James with the help-side monster swat! This hall-of-fame lock always in position!
You can cut the tension with a knife! A boiling cauldron as Seth Curry steps up!
Seth Curry, this solid pro, keeps the team alive! A euro-step in the first half!
LeBron James goes to work in triumph! The final buzzer sounds! That's a W!
Seth Curry rips the net off the rim. LeBron James wraps it around his neck like a scarf. On my end, I ate a hot dog so disgusting I'd classify it as a traumatic experience. Good evening! Now: 'Destination Unknown: The Roundabout in Scranton, PA.' Total adventure.
Jornada 9 — vs Houston Blast-Off
115-95 (V)
Seth Curry, this dude putting the league on notice, embraces the Finals-like atmosphere! Game on!
Derrick Rose catches fire! And it's a double-clutch layup! Pure God-given talent taking over!
LeBron James with the huge ball recovery back to the basket! This first-ballot legend says no!
Seth Curry with the hockey assist! That extra pass, beautiful basketball!
This name that's buzzing Seth Curry with the savvy veteran play! Insane court vision experience showing!
The players disappear. Carmelo Anthony has a makeshift neck brace out of a towel. Fun fact: Carmelo Anthony was voted best-looking player on the team. By his mom. In a poll she created herself. Both teams retake the hardwood. Everything is still up for grabs.
This reliable star Derrick Rose does it again! An alley-oop with effortless precision!
The crowd waves the su micrófono abierto replicas! Kanye West has started a movement!
Seth Curry, this do-it-all player, holds the team together with unreal swagger! Captain!
Carmelo Anthony, this guy everybody knows, has been building to this all game! At the last second!
Carmelo Anthony rises up into the tunnel with the W! This top-tier talent all smiles!
Kanye West runs the full court high-fiving everyone. Derrick Rose follows doing the wave alone. My wife texted me: 'when are you coming home?' I said 'after the game.' That was two hours ago. We're done! And now: 'The Voice: Office Karaoke After Two Beers Edition.'
Jornada 10 — vs Denver Horse-Track
104-100 (V)
Carmelo Anthony, this beanpole, sets the tone immediately! Silky smooth technique from the jump!
This hooper's hooper Seth Curry with the volleyball spike a ball recovery! Emphatic!
Carmelo Anthony fires a step-back three at the top of the key but can't connect! Sometimes predictable game showing!
A layup from LeBron James from downtown! That's a statement right there!
Derrick Rose launches with purpose every possession! This max-contract guy chess master!
Halftime. The physio pounces on Kanye West to massage his thighs. True story: Kanye West walked into the wrong locker room during his first game against Denver Horse-Track. Awkward. Both teams retake the floor. The best may be yet to come.
LeBron James delivers in the clutch! An alley-oop at the buzzer! This undisputed superstar is ice cold!
Kanye West anticipates perfectly! A rapero o rapera who always sees it coming!
Deafening noise! Carmelo Anthony attacks and the building shakes!
This max-contract guy Carmelo Anthony with the monster sky-high block in right from the tip-off! Saved the game!
This headliner Derrick Rose raises the arms! The win is in the books! A victory dance!
Derrick Rose grabs the arena mic and screams. Just a scream. Carmelo Anthony applauds. Yours truly survived this game without losing his voice. It was touch and go. Good evening! Up next: 'Fixer Upper: Renovating a Studio on a Twelve-Dollar Budget.' Challenge accepted.
Jornada 11 — vs New York Over-Timers
100-111 (D)
LeBron James, this global icon, draws first blood! A step-back three to start!
Derrick Rose, this swiss-army-knife type, gets the look but can't convert from the left corner!
This bonafide star Carmelo Anthony with a careless turnover! Gift-wrapped for the opponent!
LeBron James, this absolute unit, gets blown by on the perimeter! Tendency to rush in the legs!
A buzzer-beater by Kanye West! The crowd erupts! Scary good handles personified!
Back in the locker room, Kanye West sits down and stares at the ceiling. Rumor has it Kanye West has been wearing the same lucky underwear for three seasons. The medical staff is concerned. The arena lights up, the players are back. Game on.
Kanye West slaps the floor in frustration! Slapping harder than a rapero o rapera hits the workbench!
Carmelo Anthony rises up but the shot rims out! Defense that's basically a suggestion rears its ugly head!
Kanye West, this certified GOAT candidate, times the cut perfectly! Backdoor for a two-handed slam!
Carmelo Anthony short-arms the shot from fatigue! This elite player has nothing left!
Derrick Rose, this swiss-army-knife type, trudges off the floor. Lessons to take from this one.
Derrick Rose looks like someone who hasn't slept in three days. Kanye West looks like someone who won't sleep tonight. Tonight I yelled so loud the guy in the next booth asked me to keep it down. Mid-game. Good evening! Coming up: 'Dancing with the Stars: My Cousin's Wedding Edition.' Open bar.
Jornada 12 — vs Cleveland Twin-Towers
110-83 (V)
Seth Curry, this do-it-all player, is introduced and the arena explodes! This legit talent is in the building!
Kanye West pulls off a finger roll out of nowhere! Was that basketball or rapero o rapera magic? Unbelievable!
Kanye West, this versatile guy, erases the shot at the rim! Rim protector!
Carmelo Anthony reads the defense like a book! Assist driving to the hoop! Freakish explosiveness!
Kanye West slows the pace when the team needs it! This potential GOAT tempo control!
Halftime. Seth Curry throws his towel on the floor walking in. Rumor has it Seth Curry tried to recruit the pizza delivery guy for the team. The guy was 6'9". Let's go, we're back. The crowd claps in rhythm.
Carmelo Anthony shoots and it's a free throw! This elite player proving the doubters wrong!
Seth Curry, this versatile guy, commands a packed arena! The arena belongs to this legit talent!
LeBron James makes the extra pass! This guy with rings on every finger hockey assist for a fadeaway jumper!
This global icon LeBron James turns adversity into fuel! A dramatic twist energy!
This once-in-a-lifetime player Kanye West thanks the fans! The crowd is on its feet! What a ride!
Seth Curry jumps so high from joy he nearly touches the scoreboard. Almost. Tonight I chewed through two pens. The office supply budget is going to explode. Thanks for being here. Coming up: 'Forbidden Zone: Behind the Scenes of a Vending Machine.'
Jornada 13 — vs Boston Ring-Chasers
101-92 (V)
Derrick Rose, this swiss-army-knife type, takes the court! The sold-out gym on fire is electric!
This reliable star Carmelo Anthony with a picture-perfect floater! The crowd goes wild!
Kanye West forces the step-out-of-bounds! This guy with rings on every finger hawking the ball!
Carmelo Anthony dribbles the basketball with precision! Assist from the left corner! Floor general!
Carmelo Anthony, this titan, uses the jab step to freeze the defender! Crafty!
Halftime. Seth Curry's hair is completely soaked, like climbing out of a pool. Anecdote: Seth Curry once wore his jersey inside out for the entire first quarter. Nobody dared say anything. Play resumes! The coach set a few things straight in the locker room.
This well-respected player Seth Curry with a cold-blooded two-handed slam! No conscience!
The arena trembles! Derrick Rose with the play and a Finals-like atmosphere follows!
LeBron James blows past the basketball with patience! This first-ballot legend trusting the system!
Carmelo Anthony, this titan, makes a statement! This multi-time All-Star is here to stay!
This multi-time All-Star Derrick Rose seals the deal! Victory with iron discipline!
Seth Curry and Kanye West run circles around LeBron James who doesn't move. Zen. My evening in one word? Epic. In two words? Epic and loud. Thanks for watching. Coming up: '48 Hours: The Secret Life of Roundabouts.' Essential viewing.
Jornada 14 — vs San Antonio Skyscrapers
104-120 (D)
The game begins and Derrick Rose is ready! You can see ridiculous creativity written all over his face!
Derrick Rose, this world-class player, pulls the trigger at half court but no luck!
Derrick Rose, this solid build, gets called for the carry! Ego the size of Texas in ball-handling!
Kanye West can't stay in front! Escupirring the las barras ardientes doesn't build lateral quickness!
Seth Curry goes coast to coast for a devastating dunk! This legit talent is relentless!
Halftime! Seth Curry has the hardwood pattern imprinted on his elbow. Small detail: Seth Curry wears mismatched socks every game. Calls it a strategy. Come on, second half! The best is yet to come. Or the worst. Who knows.
Kanye West buries their face! Hidden from view, the rapero o rapera can't watch!
A deep three from Carmelo Anthony goes in and out! Heartbreaking along the baseline!
Carmelo Anthony, this top-tier talent, draws the double team and finds the open man! High IQ!
Kanye West needs oxygen! More winded than a rapero o rapera after overtime!
Carmelo Anthony had the chances but couldn't convert. This headliner left wanting.
Seth Curry slams his fist on the bench. Carmelo Anthony places his palm flat, as if to calm the surface. Fun fact: my sound engineer fell asleep during the second quarter. I woke him with an elbow. Thanks everyone! Up next: 'Ice Road Truckers: Uber Eats Delivery on a Rainy Night.'
Jornada 15 — vs Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest
78-117 (D)
LeBron James fires up the crowd to open the game! This basketball god starting strong!
Carmelo Anthony, this elite player, with a contested bank shot that misses on the low block!
Seth Curry with a wild pass that sails out! This hooper's hooper giving it away!
This hall-of-fame lock Kanye West bites on the fake! Beaten in the paint!
LeBron James, this basketball god, yells at the coaching staff! Injury-prone body causing friction!
Halftime whistle. Derrick Rose has dried blood on his elbow but plays tough. They say Derrick Rose has a ritual where he touches the basket post three times. If someone watches, starts over. The players are back on the court. Here we go again!
This bonafide star Derrick Rose throws up a prayer at the top of the key! Not answered!
Kanye West, this do-it-all player, looks exhausted at half court! The legs are gone!
LeBron James rises up the pill right to the defense! Costly mistake by this once-in-a-lifetime player!
Seth Curry, this smooth operator, waves off the play call! Limited stamina hurting the team!
LeBron James walks off in silence. This basketball god gave it all but it wasn't enough.
Kanye West kicks his towel across the floor. Seth Curry has already left for the locker room, alone. During the game, my colleague ordered sushi. It arrived at the final buzzer. Perfect timing. Thanks everyone! And now: 'Keeping Up with the Kardashians: Season 312.' They will never stop.
My Team ends the season #6 with a 9W-6L record. Season MVP: LeBron James.
Diario de la temporada
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