Mijn ideale starting five — basketball_team 🇳🇱
5 leden · TeamBranch
Seizoensjournaal
Klassement
| # | Team | W | V | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | San Antonio Skyscrapers | 14 | 1 | 28 |
| 2 | Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest | 13 | 2 | 26 |
| 3 | Detroit Engine-Roar | 13 | 2 | 26 |
| 4 | My Team | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 5 | Boston Ring-Chasers | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 6 | Cleveland Twin-Towers | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 7 | Los Angeles Nursing-Home | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 8 | Houston Blast-Off | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 9 | New York Over-Timers | 7 | 8 | 14 |
| 10 | Denver Horse-Track | 7 | 8 | 14 |
| 11 | Minnesota Ice-Wall | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 12 | Toronto Border-Patrol | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 13 | Miami Heart-Attack | 3 | 12 | 6 |
| 14 | Phoenix No-Defense | 2 | 13 | 4 |
| 15 | Orlando Magic-Beans | 2 | 13 | 4 |
| 16 | Philadelphia Injury-Report | 1 | 14 | 2 |
Voorseizoen
Buckle up, pull your visor down, and clench everything you've got because tonight we are NOT talking about some pickup game at the park. Hell no. We're talking about an arena shaking so hard the neighbors called the cops three times before tip-off. We're talking about a franchise built on decades of sweat, tears, heart-stopping buzzer-beaters, and Draft picks so bold that half the league thought they'd lost their minds. And yet, here they are, back and hungrier than ever. The team with no name, baby! Yeah sure, it's a team sport, we all agree on that. But when you've got Shaquille O'Neal on your roster, the word "team" basically means him plus four guys who pass him the ball. Standing at 216 cm, a first step more explosive than a rocket launch, and a fadeaway so silky that even the defenders applaud as they watch him score. Scouts had this dude flagged at 14. By 16, he was beating pros. Today? He's embarrassing them. The scary thing is that the more pressure rises, the more he rises with it. Fourth quarter, down by three, the opposing coach screaming, the crowd roaring... And he just shrugs, takes the ball, and nails a step-back three over three defenders draped all over him like it's a Tuesday morning shootaround drill. This is the kind of player you don't just build a team around, you build an era around him. And tonight, that era begins. The budget here is absolutely insane, we're talking stratosphere money. This is Warriors and Suns territory. These guys are so loaded they've triggered the Second Apron: the league literally forbids them from signing free agents or combining salaries in trades. They have zero flexibility, handcuffed by their own damn wealth. It's "championship or crash and burn," no in-between.
Speeldag 1 — vs Detroit Engine-Roar
83-117 (V)
J. R. Smith launches into position! This solid pro not wasting any time!
Brick! DeAndre Ayton misfires from way beyond the arc! Occasional mental lapses at the worst time!
Jrue Holiday coughs up the damn ball! Limited stamina strikes again on the low block!
J. R. Smith, this beanpole, gets blown by on the perimeter! Hot head in the legs!
DeAndre Ayton, this player making noise, yells at the coaching staff! Hot head causing friction!
Break! Shaquille O'Neal takes his jersey off before even reaching the locker room. Exclusive: Shaquille O'Neal was caught reading a philosophy book on the bench. It was Nietzsche. Jump ball to restart. Let the second half begin!
Jrue Holiday attacks the pill right into the defender's hands! Defense that's basically a suggestion!
Shaquille O'Neal is running on pure willpower! This household name refusing to quit!
J. R. Smith with the backcourt violation! This seasoned vet under too much pressure!
DeAndre Ayton spins the towel! This dude putting the league on notice showing tendency to force bad shots!
Shaquille O'Neal, this towering presence, trudges off the temple of basketball. Lessons to take from this one.
Kyrie Irving walks head down toward the tunnel. Jrue Holiday drags his feet behind, shoulders slumped. Tonight I nearly had a heart attack at least four times. And I'm just the commentator. Thanks for the game! And now, tonight's feature film: 'Fast and Furious 47: The Quest for a Parking Spot.'
Speeldag 2 — vs Miami Heart-Attack
123-92 (W)
Kyrie Irving, this combo guard, sets the tone immediately! Nerves of steel from the jump!
DeAndre Ayton attacks along the baseline and finishes with a scoop layup! Too good!
This name that's buzzing Jrue Holiday reads the play and intercepts! Brilliant anticipation!
This All-Star caliber talent Kyrie Irving finds the open man! Assist and a pull-up jumper!
Jrue Holiday reads the defense perfectly! Eyes in the back of the head and a sky-high basketball IQ!
Rest. DeAndre Ayton buries his head in a wet towel and doesn't move. Anecdote: DeAndre Ayton fell asleep on the bench during an exhibition game. Still got named MVP. Back for seconds. The court is shining, and so are the players.
What a play by DeAndre Ayton! A free throw from the right corner! This name that's buzzing is cooking!
Shaquille O'Neal, this walking skyscraper, gets the standing ovation! A cathedral silence!
Kyrie Irving dishes the pick-and-roll to perfection! Chemistry on display!
The narrative shifts! Jrue Holiday takes control with nerves of steel!
J. R. Smith, this giant, carries the team to victory! MVP-level performance!
Kyrie Irving does a belly slide on the court. Shaquille O'Neal does a back slide. The hardwood is ruined. My wife texted me: 'when are you coming home?' I said 'after the game.' That was two hours ago. We're packing up. Time for the late-night feature: 'Unsolved Mysteries: Where Is My Left Sock.'
Speeldag 3 — vs Orlando Magic-Beans
102-106 (V)
Shaquille O'Neal, this giant, takes the court! The standing ovation is electric!
Kyrie Irving, this established star, absolutely nails an off-balance shot in the paint! Take a bow!
Jrue Holiday lunges the wrong direction! Fake had this established player fooled!
Jrue Holiday drives but the shot rims out! Shaky emotions under pressure rears its ugly head!
This guy with a proven track record J. R. Smith with back-to-back buckets! The lead is crumbling!
The locker room fills up. DeAndre Ayton has already eaten three oranges. Little scoop: DeAndre Ayton tried to bribe the DJ to play his song. The DJ agreed. Nobody liked it. The players are back on the court. Here we go again!
Shaquille O'Neal forces the hero ball and misses! This undisputed superstar with lack of consistency!
Shaquille O'Neal storms to the bench! This undisputed superstar is visibly upset!
This game belongs to Jrue Holiday! This up-and-coming baller stamping authority at the top of the key!
Jrue Holiday misses in the clutch! A scoop layup off the mark in the second half!
Kyrie Irving had the chances but couldn't convert. This top-tier talent left wanting.
Kyrie Irving sits on the floor in the hallway. DeAndre Ayton sits down next to him. Nobody speaks. Tonight I had a revelation: DeAndre Ayton runs exactly like my neighbor when he misses the bus. Good night! And now: 'Naked and Afraid: Lost in the Shopping Mall.'
Speeldag 4 — vs Philadelphia Injury-Report
134-90 (W)
Tip-off! Jrue Holiday gets us started! Let's go!
Jrue Holiday blows past past everyone for a free throw! This swiss-army-knife type on a mission!
This potential GOAT Shaquille O'Neal with the behind-the-back dish! Highlight-reel pass!
Shaquille O'Neal, this undisputed superstar, unleashes a step-back three on the low block! Bang!
Jrue Holiday times it perfectly and rejects the shot! A crucial offensive board on the low block!
Halftime whistle. Shaquille O'Neal high-fives his teammates on the way out. Did you know? Shaquille O'Neal has a personal mini-fridge in the locker room. Nobody knows what's inside. Both teams emerge from the tunnel. The second half can begin.
A buzzer beater from Kyrie Irving! Another dagger! This headliner closing the door!
Shaquille O'Neal takes off and it's too easy! The lead is ballooning! Mercy rule!
Jrue Holiday trips over the damn ball! Even this well-respected player has those moments!
Kyrie Irving, this big-name player, cups the ear to the crowd! A team high-five! They want more!
That's the game! DeAndre Ayton finishes with a monster performance! This next-level player victorious!
Shaquille O'Neal hugs the mascot. DeAndre Ayton hugs the referee. Awkward. As for me, I powered through three coffees and a gas station sandwich. The glamorous life of sports journalism. That was beautiful. And now: 'House Hunters International: 90-Square-Foot Studio, Wall View.' A steal.
Speeldag 5 — vs Phoenix No-Defense
129-96 (W)
And we're underway! Kyrie Irving touches the basketball first! This reliable star looks eager!
J. R. Smith with the smooth fadeaway jumper! This league veteran making it look easy!
This player making noise J. R. Smith disrupts the play with a timely monster swat!
Kyrie Irving threads the needle! Beautiful assist at the top of the key! Unreal court vision!
DeAndre Ayton, this well-respected player, draws the double team and finds the open man! High IQ!
The locker room. Shaquille O'Neal sprawls out full-length on the bench. Little secret: Shaquille O'Neal listens to Celine Dion to focus. I repeat, Celine Dion. Resetting the counters for this second half. Well, not really.
Kyrie Irving shoots the basketball beautifully for a free throw! What touch!
J. R. Smith blows past and the crowd chants the name! Listen to that noise!
This player on the come-up DeAndre Ayton tips it to the teammate! Unreal swagger on full display!
The legend of J. R. Smith grows! This seasoned vet adding another chapter off the pick and roll!
DeAndre Ayton, this miniature missile, takes the final bow! A hug with the coach! Dominant display!
Kyrie Irving throws chalk powder like LeBron. J. R. Smith coughs for two minutes straight. Did you know that J. R. Smith practices volunteer firefighter on Tuesdays? Builds character, that does. Alright, good evening! Now it's 'Love Is in the Parking Lot.' Romance guaranteed.
Speeldag 6 — vs Los Angeles Nursing-Home
116-104 (W)
This respected competitor Jrue Holiday in the starting lineup! Let's see what this respected competitor brings!
Kyrie Irving, this swiss-army-knife type, dominates on the low block and puts up a half-court heave! Unstoppable!
J. R. Smith blocks it and keeps it in play! Heads-up play, what awareness!
J. R. Smith with the skip pass! Assist leads to an open and-one!
DeAndre Ayton, this respected competitor, manipulates the defense with the eyes! Next-level basketball IQ!
Halftime. Shaquille O'Neal wolfs down an energy bar in two bites. Exclusive: Shaquille O'Neal was caught reading a philosophy book on the bench. It was Nietzsche. Here we go again. The players have changed jerseys.
Kyrie Irving fires away and fires a thunderous slam! This versatile guy lighting it up!
A crowd fully behind them fills the arena! This global icon Shaquille O'Neal feeds off the energy!
This multi-time All-Star Kyrie Irving dives for the loose ball! Natural-born leadership on every play!
J. R. Smith, this dude putting the league on notice, answers every challenge! Scary good handles never fading!
Jrue Holiday can breathe! The win is secured, it's over!
Jrue Holiday and Kyrie Irving leap onto each other like kids. J. R. Smith comes sprinting in and crushes them both. During the third quarter, I spilled my soup. Yes, I had soup in the booth. Don't judge. See you soon. And now: '911: My Cat Climbed on Top of the Wardrobe.'
Speeldag 7 — vs Toronto Border-Patrol
118-91 (W)
Shaquille O'Neal, this living legend, draws first blood! A free throw to start!
Kyrie Irving with another and-one! You can't stop this man!
This guy with a proven track record J. R. Smith forces the bad pass! A killer instinct creating turnovers!
J. R. Smith launches and finds the trailer for a buzzer-beater! Great awareness!
J. R. Smith, this beanpole, positions perfectly for the offensive rebound! Insane court vision!
Halftime whistle. Shaquille O'Neal spits into the trash can walking into the locker room. Little secret: Shaquille O'Neal listens to Celine Dion to focus. I repeat, Celine Dion. Back on the court. The coach changed the starting five, that'll be a surprise.
DeAndre Ayton scores with eyes in the back of the head. A half-court heave driving to the hoop! Too smooth!
The energy in this building is unreal! J. R. Smith channeling wild stands!
DeAndre Ayton, this next-level player, runs the play exactly as drawn! Execution!
This will be talked about for years! Kyrie Irving with a sky hook! Iconic!
J. R. Smith, this mountain of a man, celebrates the win! An ice-cold stare at the opposing bench! What a game!
Jrue Holiday jumps into Kyrie Irving's arms without warning. They both go down. On my end, I ate peanuts through the entire third quarter. Salt is my drug of choice. Sleep tight! Coming up: 'Forensic Files: Who Finished the Milk Without Telling Anyone.'
Speeldag 8 — vs Minnesota Ice-Wall
105-86 (W)
J. R. Smith dishes with energy from the opening whistle! This solid pro locked in!
Shaquille O'Neal scores off the pick and roll! A thunderous slam with scary good handles! Brilliant!
DeAndre Ayton shuts the door driving to the hoop! That's how you play defense!
This well-respected player Jrue Holiday orchestrates the offense at the buzzer! Maestro!
This franchise guy Kyrie Irving attacks the closeout! Driving past the over-eager defender!
Halftime! Kyrie Irving is limping slightly heading off the court. I've been told Kyrie Irving always puts his left shoe on first. The one day he switched, gave up 40 points. Back on the hardwood. The tension has gone up a notch.
This headliner Kyrie Irving converts at the buzzer! A pull-up jumper right on cue!
J. R. Smith in an incredible energy! This well-respected player has been waiting for this stage!
This all-time great Shaquille O'Neal claps for the rookie! Encouragement from this all-time great!
This guy with rings on every finger Shaquille O'Neal flips the script! From struggle to dominance!
J. R. Smith sits on the bench with a smile! This hooper's hooper job well done!
Kyrie Irving and Shaquille O'Neal lap the court arm in arm, singing. Off-key. During the game, I counted how many times I said 'incredible.' Seventeen. A personal record. This was your favorite commentator. Coming up: 'Extreme Makeover: Garage Edition.' Don't change the channel. Or do.
Speeldag 9 — vs Houston Blast-Off
103-94 (W)
This max-contract guy Kyrie Irving comes out aggressive! Opens with an alley-oop from downtown!
J. R. Smith converts a tough bucket from way beyond the arc! Skill level: elite!
Jrue Holiday forces the shot-clock violation! Nerves of steel on full display!
Kyrie Irving with the bounce pass! This headliner threading it perfectly!
This absolute legend Shaquille O'Neal calls the audible! Changed the play and it works!
Halftime. DeAndre Ayton is holding his ribs walking toward the tunnel. Locker room intel: DeAndre Ayton has a tattoo of a basketball hoop on his butt. That's commitment. Back on the hardwood. The tension has gone up a notch.
This max-contract guy Kyrie Irving with a cold-blooded finger roll! No conscience!
This hall-of-fame lock Shaquille O'Neal gets the crowd into it! A cathedral silence at fever pitch!
This next-level player J. R. Smith runs the basketball patiently! Searching for the perfect shot!
The arc of this game bends toward J. R. Smith! This next-level player controlling destiny!
DeAndre Ayton tosses the pill in the air! A fist pump toward the bench! This player on the come-up mission accomplished!
Kyrie Irving and Jrue Holiday chest bump so hard they each fly back three meters. I spent this game nervously chewing gum. I'm on my seventh piece. That's all for tonight! Coming up: 'CSI: Underground Parking Garage.' Riveting stuff.
Speeldag 10 — vs Denver Horse-Track
118-91 (W)
Jrue Holiday opens with a layup! This legit talent making an early statement!
A step-back three by Jrue Holiday! The crowd erupts! Silky smooth technique personified!
Shaquille O'Neal, this walking skyscraper, walls off the drive from mid-range! No way through!
This reliable star Kyrie Irving leads the fast break and dishes! Easy bucket off the assist!
This dude putting the league on notice J. R. Smith switches defensive assignments on the fly! Insane court vision!
Break. J. R. Smith collapses next to the vending machine. Rumor has it J. R. Smith does 100 push-ups before every game. Or 10. Depends who you ask. The players come back running. Did someone set the locker room on fire?
Kyrie Irving, this do-it-all player, uses every inch to deliver a euro-step!
Deafening noise! Jrue Holiday dribbles and the building shakes!
This well-respected player Jrue Holiday swings the pill around! Nerves of steel ball movement!
Jrue Holiday dribbles with purpose! Iron discipline driving this team forward!
Final buzzer! Shaquille O'Neal is the hero! This absolute legend with a game for the ages!
Shaquille O'Neal rips the net off the rim. DeAndre Ayton wraps it around his neck like a scarf. I tried taking notes during the game. My notebook is full of incomprehensible scribbles. That's all for tonight. And now: 'Deadliest Catch: Rush Hour on the Beltway.' Documentary.
Speeldag 11 — vs New York Over-Timers
106-99 (W)
This respected competitor Jrue Holiday opens the scoring! A two-handed slam! Early advantage!
This player making noise DeAndre Ayton finishes with authority! A catch-and-shoot triple from way beyond the arc!
DeAndre Ayton a monster swat with authority! This pocket rocket protecting the paint!
Shaquille O'Neal with the transition assist! This household name pushing the pace with scary good handles!
Shaquille O'Neal sets the screen at the perfect angle! This living legend cerebral play!
Coach calls everyone back. Kyrie Irving drags his feet toward the tunnel. Did you know? Kyrie Irving has a personal mini-fridge in the locker room. Nobody knows what's inside. The players come back running. Did someone set the locker room on fire?
Jrue Holiday with eyes in the back of the head finds the angle for a tear drop!
The arena trembles! DeAndre Ayton with the play and a packed arena follows!
Jrue Holiday brings energy off the bench! This next-level player infectious enthusiasm!
Kyrie Irving is writing the story tonight! This headliner with a euro-step at the top of the key!
J. R. Smith, this respected competitor, with the post-game interview smile! Pure God-given talent all night!
DeAndre Ayton moonwalks across the hardwood. J. R. Smith attempts the worm. One of them pulls it off. Confession: I nearly fell asleep during the second quarter. The third woke me right up. We're out! And now, 'House Hunters: Broom Closet Edition.' Cozy open concept.
Speeldag 12 — vs Cleveland Twin-Towers
91-100 (V)
Jrue Holiday takes the floor with that look in his eyes! He came to play tonight!
DeAndre Ayton takes a tough reverse layup and it doesn't go! Heavy feet in shot selection!
DeAndre Ayton, this elusive guard, gets the ball poked away! Sometimes predictable game when protecting the Spalding!
J. R. Smith, this colossus, gets dunked on facing the rim! Poster material!
DeAndre Ayton drains a half-court heave from way beyond the arc! Textbook scary good handles!
Rest time. Jrue Holiday isolates in a corner of the locker room, headphones on. Juicy anecdote: Jrue Holiday was caught dancing the Macarena in the showers. Alone. On to the next chapter. The court is just waiting for the ball.
DeAndre Ayton gets a technical for complaining! Limited stamina on full display!
J. R. Smith forces an alley-oop from way beyond the arc! This player making noise trying too hard!
Jrue Holiday shoots with purpose every possession! This league veteran chess master!
J. R. Smith is visibly tired! This respected competitor needs a timeout badly!
Jrue Holiday attacks past the media. This player making noise not in the mood to talk.
DeAndre Ayton's face is locked shut, zero emotion. Kyrie Irving hides his eyes under a towel. My evening in summary: yell, drink coffee, yell again, spill the coffee, yell some more. That's it for tonight. Coming up: 'Nailed It: Cakes Ruined by My Mother-in-Law.'
Speeldag 13 — vs Boston Ring-Chasers
116-104 (W)
Shaquille O'Neal spins onto the floor! The crowd roars for this generational talent!
This seasoned vet DeAndre Ayton punishes the defense with a scoop layup from way beyond the arc!
DeAndre Ayton, this league veteran, bodied up and forced the turnover! Physical defense!
This franchise cornerstone Shaquille O'Neal connects on the pick-and-roll! Assist for a tear drop!
Kyrie Irving, this top-tier talent, manages the clock beautifully in the first half!
Heading in. DeAndre Ayton's eyes are bloodshot from sheer effort. Did you know DeAndre Ayton keeps a photo of his dog in his right shoe? It's a Bichon. Alright, it's time. The second half waits for no one.
J. R. Smith, this dude putting the league on notice, with the exclamation-point double-clutch layup! Game changer!
You can feel palpable tension through the screen! DeAndre Ayton in the spotlight!
Shaquille O'Neal crosses over the outlet to the young player! This living legend building the future!
J. R. Smith, this long boy, embodies the spirit of competition! What a show!
This legit talent Jrue Holiday walks off to a standing ovation! A Finals-like atmosphere! Incredible!
Jrue Holiday and DeAndre Ayton stare at each other in silence for five seconds. Then burst out laughing at the exact same time. I tried to take a selfie with the court in the background. My thumb is over the lens. Good evening! Up next: 'Criminal Minds: Finding the Colleague Who Steals Yogurt from the Fridge.'
Speeldag 14 — vs San Antonio Skyscrapers
121-90 (W)
This bonafide star Kyrie Irving catches the leather early and goes to work! Opening salvo!
A double-clutch layup from Kyrie Irving! This bonafide star is putting on a show tonight!
This once-in-a-lifetime player Shaquille O'Neal with the screen navigation! Gets through and contests!
This respected competitor Jrue Holiday turns the corner and finds the open man! Unselfish!
Jrue Holiday identifies the soft spot in the zone! This seasoned vet surgical precision!
Break. DeAndre Ayton collapses next to the vending machine. Small detail: DeAndre Ayton whistles the national anthem before every game. Off-key. Consistently off-key. The players are back. Some look fresh, others... Not so much.
An alley-oop! Shaquille O'Neal cannot be stopped tonight! This all-time great is locked in!
Standing room only! A sold-out gym on fire as DeAndre Ayton takes over from way beyond the arc!
Kyrie Irving, this max-contract guy, picks up the fallen teammate! An unmatched feel for the game beyond the stats!
Jrue Holiday launches with conviction! This established player believes tonight is the night!
This next-level player J. R. Smith wraps up a sensational performance! Victory is sweet!
Shaquille O'Neal performs an absolutely ridiculous victory dance. DeAndre Ayton imitates it. It's worse. During the game, I got a text from my mom: 'Stop yelling, I can hear you from here.' She lives 120 miles away. We're out! And now, 'House Hunters: Broom Closet Edition.' Cozy open concept.
Speeldag 15 — vs Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest
85-130 (V)
This legit talent DeAndre Ayton comes out firing! A floater in the first minute!
Shaquille O'Neal drives the orange into nothing! Hot head on full display tonight!
This guy with rings on every finger Shaquille O'Neal forces a pass into double coverage! Picked off!
This well-respected player Jrue Holiday can't recover! Scored on facing the rim! Limited stamina!
Shaquille O'Neal, this towering presence, pounds the scorer's table! Defense that's basically a suggestion on full display!
The locker room. DeAndre Ayton sprawls out full-length on the bench. Word is DeAndre Ayton sleeps with his basketball shoes on. I can't confirm it, but the source is reliable. Resumption imminent. The players wrap up their express warm-up.
DeAndre Ayton forces up a deep three over the defense! Defense that's basically a suggestion! Bad decision!
Kyrie Irving grabs the shorts! This jersey-selling name is running on fumes!
J. R. Smith throws it away! Lack of consistency under pressure back to the basket!
Shaquille O'Neal picks up the second technical! This franchise cornerstone ejected! Tendency to force bad shots!
This player on the come-up Jrue Holiday congratulates the opponent. Class in defeat from this player on the come-up.
J. R. Smith looks like someone who hasn't slept in three days. Kyrie Irving looks like someone who won't sleep tonight. My evening in summary: yell, drink coffee, yell again, spill the coffee, yell some more. Alright, good night! Up next: 'Planet Earth: Exploring the World from My Couch.' Immersive documentary.
My Team ends the season #4 with a 11W-4L record. Season MVP: Shaquille O'Neal.
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Season journal
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