My dream starting five — basketball_team 🇨🇳
5 members · TeamBranch
赛季日志
积分榜
| # | Team | 胜 | 负 | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Detroit Engine-Roar | 15 | 0 | 30 |
| 2 | Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest | 14 | 1 | 28 |
| 3 | San Antonio Skyscrapers | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 4 | Cleveland Twin-Towers | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 5 | New York Over-Timers | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 6 | Boston Ring-Chasers | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 7 | My Team | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 8 | Denver Horse-Track | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 9 | Toronto Border-Patrol | 7 | 8 | 14 |
| 10 | Minnesota Ice-Wall | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 11 | Phoenix No-Defense | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 12 | Houston Blast-Off | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 13 | Los Angeles Nursing-Home | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 14 | Miami Heart-Attack | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 15 | Philadelphia Injury-Report | 2 | 13 | 4 |
| 16 | Orlando Magic-Beans | 1 | 14 | 2 |
季前赛
Get comfortable because tonight, we are about to witness something special. I can feel it. It's in the air, it's in the eyes, it's in the low rumble of 20,000 people who know they're about to live through a moment. The franchise about to step onto this court has seen it all, lived it all: legendary triple-doubles, buzzer-beating heartbreaks, 15-point fourth-quarter comebacks, and losses that shatter careers. But they're here, still and always, with that burning desire to tear everything apart. The team with no name, baby! Alright, let's not kid ourselves, if the arena is packed to the gills, it's because of THE phenomenon. This guy isn't just a basketball player, he's a walking cheat code on the hardwood: give it up for Mikal Bridges! Picture this: standing at 198 cm, but he handles the rock with the agility of a 5'10" point guard and launches missiles from 30 feet like he's at shootaround. When he attacks the paint, it's simple, he's a freight train: either you get out of the way, or you end up on his poster doing the rounds on social media for a week straight. And the most terrifying thing about him? It's not the stats, it's not the size, it's the calm. You know that moment where the arena is on its feet, the clock is ticking down the final seconds, sweat is pouring... And he's just chewing his gum like he's waiting for the bus? Then he loads up. And drains it. Stone cold. In front of 20,000 people on the verge of cardiac arrest. That's what a franchise player is: the guy who carries everyone on his shoulders and still makes it look easy. Attention, things are about to get serious. Actually no, things are about to go completely off the rails. The front office signed Stephen Hawking. The man is a 大學教師. Yes, you heard that right. A 大學教師. On a basketball court. With their lecture notes in his gym bag and zero understanding of what a pick-and-roll is. The coach says it's a "bet on raw athleticism" but between us, I'm pretty sure he lost a poker bet. Stephen Hawking had his first practice yesterday and asked if the free throw line was home plate. The teammates are dying laughing, the fans don't know whether to cry or applaud, and the GM was spotted updating his resume on LinkedIn. This team's budget is the GDP of a small country. Seriously, there are nations at the UN moving less cash than this roster. The Second Apron is blown to smithereens, the repeater tax bleeds the owner dry with every signature, and the league watches them with a mix of disgust and fascination. But the owner doesn't care. He has a dream, and that dream is a championship banner hanging from the rafters of this arena. Everything else, the penalties, the sacrificed Draft picks, the zero flexibility, that's just details. Damn details.
比赛日 1 — vs Detroit Engine-Roar
95-123 (负)
Blake Griffin, this tower, sets the tone immediately! Nerves of steel from the jump!
Stephen Hawking, this all-around player, loses the handle and the opportunity! Shaky emotions under pressure!
Mikal Bridges, this giant, gets stripped from mid-range! Limited stamina exposed!
Tracy McGrady gets burned on the drive! Tendency to force bad shots in lateral movement!
Tracy McGrady rises up past everyone for a free throw! This long boy on a mission!
Halftime. Blake Griffin glances at his phone for two seconds and puts it back. Did you know Blake Griffin started basketball because he was terrible at soccer? Sometimes failure leads to greatness. Back at it! The coach said two words. Two words that were enough.
Mikal Bridges, this long boy, pounds the scorer's table! Hot head on full display!
Stephen Hawking can't get it to fall! Gravity treats the rock differently than the young scholars!
Mikal Bridges, this colossus, uses the jab step to freeze the defender! Crafty!
Blake Griffin, this dude putting the league on notice, making mistakes from exhaustion! The body is failing!
Blake Griffin sits alone on the bench. This legit talent processing the defeat.
Blake Griffin unclasps his chain and squeezes it in his fist. Mikal Bridges runs a hand down his face. I discovered tonight that my mic was off for three minutes. Three minutes of pure genius, lost forever. See you soon. And now: '911: My Cat Climbed on Top of the Wardrobe.'
比赛日 2 — vs Miami Heart-Attack
100-102 (负)
Tracy McGrady, this player on the come-up, embraces the Finals-like atmosphere! Game on!
Blake Griffin pulls up and drills a bucket! Can't teach that!
Stephen Hawking gets burned on the switch! Hotter than a 大學教師's worst day on the job!
Stephen Curry blows past but overcooks it! Limited stamina showing up again!
Blake Griffin, this established player, makes the huge stop! Defense fueling the comeback!
Off to the locker room. Tracy McGrady has already drained two water bottles. Staff confession: Tracy McGrady is afraid of pigeons. Not 7-foot centers, no. Pigeons. Back at it! The coach said two words. Two words that were enough.
Blake Griffin can't handle the pressure! This league veteran folds in late in the quarter!
Stephen Curry glares at the scoreboard! This max-contract guy not happy with the situation!
Tracy McGrady posts up through pain, through doubt! This respected competitor transcending!
This seasoned vet Tracy McGrady gets called for the charge on the final possession! Brutal!
This up-and-coming baller Tracy McGrady stares at the scoreboard. Not the outcome this up-and-coming baller wanted.
Stephen Curry pulls his cap down over his eyes. Blake Griffin doesn't have a cap, and it shows. Tonight I chewed through two pens. The office supply budget is going to explode. Sleep tight! Coming up: 'Forensic Files: Who Finished the Milk Without Telling Anyone.'
比赛日 3 — vs Orlando Magic-Beans
107-94 (胜)
This hall-of-fame lock Stephen Hawking in the starting lineup! Let's see what this hall-of-fame lock brings!
Stephen Curry dribbles and converts! A reverse layup from downtown! Money!
Mikal Bridges, this absolute unit, locks down the attacker! Ridiculous creativity on the defensive end!
Blake Griffin posts up into the lane and kicks out! Nerves of steel and great decision-making!
Stephen Hawking reads the defense like a book! Perfect play call from this 大學教師!
Back to the locker room. Mikal Bridges's shorts are torn but he couldn't care less. Did you know Mikal Bridges knits to unwind? Made a scarf in Orlando Magic-Beans's colors. By accident, obviously. Jump ball to restart. Let the second half begin!
Stephen Hawking floats one in from along the baseline! Delicate as a 大學教師 with their lecture notes!
An incredible energy fills the arena! This absolute legend Stephen Hawking feeds off the energy!
This next-level player Blake Griffin dives for the loose ball! Natural-born leadership on every play!
The legend of Stephen Curry grows! This bonafide star adding another chapter back to the basket!
This player on the come-up Mikal Bridges is all smiles! The stats back up the brilliance!
Tracy McGrady does a belly slide on the court. Mikal Bridges does a back slide. The hardwood is ruined. During the third quarter, I spilled my soup. Yes, I had soup in the booth. Don't judge. Until next time! Up next: 'Life Unplugged: A Day Without WiFi.' A shocking documentary.
比赛日 4 — vs Philadelphia Injury-Report
119-94 (胜)
Tip-off! Tracy McGrady gets us started! Let's go!
Mikal Bridges converts from downtown! An and-one with trademark an unmatched feel for the game!
Mikal Bridges with the huge rebound in traffic from downtown! This player on the come-up says no!
Stephen Hawking spots the mismatch! Eagle-eyed like a 大學教師 inspecting the young scholars!
Stephen Curry uses the hesitation dribble! Pure God-given talent creating separation!
Heading in. Stephen Curry's eyes are bloodshot from sheer effort. Did you know Stephen Curry once tried to start an ASMR podcast of sneaker squeaks on the hardwood? One episode. Deleted. The players come back running. Did someone set the locker room on fire?
A deep three by Blake Griffin! The crowd erupts! Eyes in the back of the head personified!
Tracy McGrady soaks in a Playoff atmosphere! This solid pro living for these moments!
Stephen Hawking trusts the system! Trust of a 大學教師 trusting their lecture notes!
This guy with a proven track record Mikal Bridges silences the noise! Freakish explosiveness locked in! Nothing else matters!
Mikal Bridges, this absolute unit, celebrates the win! A fist pump toward the bench! What a game!
Stephen Curry and Blake Griffin share a 30-second hug. Tracy McGrady wants in. Gets pushed away. I spent the fourth quarter standing. Not by choice. My chair gave out in the third. Good night! And now: 'Naked and Afraid: Lost in the Shopping Mall.'
比赛日 5 — vs Phoenix No-Defense
115-92 (胜)
Blake Griffin, this absolute unit, is introduced and the arena explodes! This up-and-coming baller is in the building!
Stephen Hawking handles the leather like their lecture notes. A devastating dunk from mid-range! The precision of a 大學教師!
Blake Griffin a sky-high block with authority! This mammoth protecting the paint!
Blake Griffin pinpoints the pass in the paint! Another assist for this up-and-coming baller!
This world-class player Stephen Curry recognizes the zone and attacks the gap! Genius!
Halftime whistle. Mikal Bridges has dried blood on his elbow but plays tough. Did you know? Mikal Bridges launched a basketball podcast. Two episodes. Zero listeners. Still going. Back to hostilities. Faces have changed in the locker room.
Tracy McGrady attacks the basketball with flair and hits a scoop layup! Sensational!
Blake Griffin, this name that's buzzing, waves the crowd up! An electric crowd rising!
Mikal Bridges finds the open teammate! This seasoned vet making everyone better!
Tracy McGrady attacks with the fire of a thousand suns! He's on fire!
That's the game! Tracy McGrady finishes with a monster performance! This name that's buzzing victorious!
Blake Griffin and Stephen Hawking slap each other's butts. Stephen Curry declines the invitation. Did you know that Stephen Curry practices 大學教師 on Tuesdays? Builds character, that does. Thanks for being here. Coming up: 'Forbidden Zone: Behind the Scenes of a Vending Machine.'
比赛日 6 — vs Los Angeles Nursing-Home
111-83 (胜)
This up-and-coming baller Blake Griffin comes out firing! A devastating dunk in the first minute!
This name that's buzzing Tracy McGrady with a picture-perfect half-court heave! The crowd goes wild!
Mikal Bridges sprints to close out! A defensive stop from the left corner! Great effort!
Stephen Hawking rises up the leather through traffic! What a pass by this global icon!
Blake Griffin, this walking skyscraper, exploits the mismatch under the basket! Smart play!
The players head in. Mikal Bridges slips on the wet tunnel floor. They say Mikal Bridges has a ritual where he touches the basket post three times. If someone watches, starts over. Back to hostilities. Faces have changed in the locker room.
Mikal Bridges with the crafty catch-and-shoot triple! Pure God-given talent on display!
This living legend Stephen Hawking silences the hostile crowd! A Finals-like atmosphere shifts!
Stephen Hawking communicates on the switch! Clear as a 大學教師's directions!
Tracy McGrady penetrates like a player possessed! Insane court vision unleashed!
Stephen Hawking hangs up the arm sleeve! Calling it a night, the 大學教師 is done!
Blake Griffin drops to his knees and kisses the court. Stephen Curry pretends to gag. Did you know that Stephen Curry practices 大學教師 on Tuesdays? Builds character, that does. Good night everyone! Coming up: 'Boot Camp: Supermarket Checkout Line Edition.' Discipline.
比赛日 7 — vs Toronto Border-Patrol
100-97 (胜)
Stephen Hawking steps onto the temple of basketball! From challenging the young scholars to this, game time!
Mikal Bridges, this colossus, covers ground to get the clutch steal! Wow!
Stephen Curry, this world-class player, comes up empty! A bank shot off target back to the basket!
A two-handed slam from Stephen Curry from mid-range! That's a statement right there!
Blake Griffin reads the defense perfectly! A killer instinct and a sky-high basketball IQ!
The locker room. Mikal Bridges sprawls out full-length on the bench. Rumor has it Mikal Bridges tried to recruit the pizza delivery guy for the team. The guy was 6'9". The show goes on. Players take position. Silence. Whistle.
Stephen Hawking rises for the clutch rebound! Rising to the occasion, classic 大學教師!
This established star Stephen Curry forces the bad pass! Freakish explosiveness creating turnovers!
What an incredible energy! Mikal Bridges and the fans creating a spectacle!
Stephen Curry posts up with the game on the line! A bucket! He lives for this!
Stephen Hawking talks to reporters! Explaining the leather like explaining the young scholars!
Mikal Bridges and Stephen Hawking share a 30-second hug. Blake Griffin wants in. Gets pushed away. My evening in summary: yell, drink coffee, yell again, spill the coffee, yell some more. Thanks for watching. Coming up: '48 Hours: The Secret Life of Roundabouts.' Essential viewing.
比赛日 8 — vs Minnesota Ice-Wall
103-96 (胜)
Blake Griffin looks dialed in from the start! An unmatched feel for the game preparation showing!
An alley-oop from Mikal Bridges! This player making noise just keeps delivering!
Tracy McGrady slides the feet perfectly and forces a miss! Pure God-given talent in every step!
Tracy McGrady rises up and dishes! Gorgeous feed driving to the hoop! Iron discipline!
Tracy McGrady spaces the floor perfectly! Great read of the system!
Break! Mikal Bridges has left a puddle of sweat at every step through the tunnel. Locker room anecdote: Mikal Bridges talks to a sock called 'Assistant Coach.' We don't judge. We're back! The players look fired up.
Stephen Curry takes off through traffic and scores! Incredible finish!
The fans sense it coming! The energy is building as Mikal Bridges gets hot!
This big-name player Stephen Curry motivates the squad in the huddle! Natural leader!
Tracy McGrady, this beanpole, sets the tone with a killer instinct! Leader!
Blake Griffin can breathe! The win is secured, it's over!
Mikal Bridges jumps so high from joy he nearly touches the scoreboard. Almost. On my end, I ate three chocolate bars during the timeouts. Sports make you hungry, even in the booth. Off to bed! And now: 'Jeopardy: Cafeteria Trivia Edition.'
比赛日 9 — vs Houston Blast-Off
105-98 (胜)
This well-respected player Mikal Bridges catches the basketball early and goes to work! Opening salvo!
This next-level player Blake Griffin does it again! A euro-step with effortless precision!
Stephen Curry strips the ball cleanly! Veteran move right there!
Blake Griffin with the no-look pass! This solid pro has eyes in the back of the head!
Stephen Curry pushes the pace in transition! Unreal swagger showing in every play!
Break time. Tracy McGrady bolts to the locker room without looking at anyone. Juicy intel: Tracy McGrady turned down an endorsement deal because he'd have to wear a mascot costume. Both teams emerge from the tunnel. The second half can begin.
Tracy McGrady, this towering presence, muscles in for a pull-up jumper! Pure power!
You can cut the tension with a knife! Wild stands as Blake Griffin steps up!
This guy everybody knows Stephen Curry runs the orange patiently! Searching for the perfect shot!
This name that's buzzing Mikal Bridges flips the script! From struggle to dominance!
Mikal Bridges dribbles in triumph! The final buzzer sounds! That's a W!
Tracy McGrady throws chalk powder like LeBron. Stephen Curry coughs for two minutes straight. Your commentator broke his personal screaming record tonight. My throat is not thanking me. Thanks for tonight. And now: '60 Minutes: The Secrets of the Office Coffee Machine.'
比赛日 10 — vs Denver Horse-Track
102-116 (负)
Mikal Bridges, this tower, announced to huge cheers! A Finals-like atmosphere!
Stephen Hawking with a rough euro-step on the low block! Occasional mental lapses at the worst time!
Tracy McGrady dishes the basketball right to the defense! Costly mistake by this player making noise!
Stephen Hawking gets blown by! Even a 大學教師 couldn't stop that!
Tracy McGrady attacks the orange with purpose! A finger roll! This up-and-coming baller means business!
Back in the locker room, Blake Griffin sits down and stares at the ceiling. Anecdote: Blake Griffin tried to impress the Denver Horse-Track players with a warm-up dunk. Hit the rim. With his face. Resetting the counters for this second half. Well, not really.
Stephen Curry fires away the towel! This max-contract guy showing tendency to rush!
Mikal Bridges fires away the ball into nothing! Defense that's basically a suggestion on full display tonight!
Mikal Bridges, this walking skyscraper, seals the defender for position! Fundamentals!
This name that's buzzing Tracy McGrady signals to the bench! Needs a blow! Hot head!
Tracy McGrady walks off in silence. This well-respected player gave it all but it wasn't enough.
Mikal Bridges refuses Denver Horse-Track's handshake. Stephen Curry offers a limp one with just his fingertips. Tonight I learned Mikal Bridges used to be a 大學教師 before basketball. Found out during a timeout. Threw me off completely. We're done! And now: 'The Voice: Office Karaoke After Two Beers Edition.'
比赛日 11 — vs New York Over-Timers
98-107 (负)
Stephen Hawking fires up the crowd to open the game! This undisputed superstar starting strong!
This hooper's hooper Tracy McGrady short-arms an alley-oop facing the rim! Not enough lift!
Stephen Curry with a wild pass that sails out! This reliable star giving it away!
Stephen Curry scrambles but can't close out! Open look given up! Hot head!
Blake Griffin, this league veteran, operates in transition with a double-clutch layup! Clinic!
Break time. Blake Griffin bolts to the locker room without looking at anyone. They say Blake Griffin eats honey straight from the jar during timeouts. The bear of the hardwood. Alright, it's time. The second half waits for no one.
Stephen Curry storms to the bench! This big-name player is visibly upset!
Blake Griffin, this player on the come-up, pulls the trigger driving to the hoop but no luck!
This hooper's hooper Mikal Bridges uses the floater over this titan coverage! Smart!
Stephen Hawking tanks the play from tiredness! Tanked like a 大學教師's energy for the young scholars!
This established player Tracy McGrady congratulates the opponent. Class in defeat from this established player.
Mikal Bridges looks like someone who hasn't slept in three days. Tracy McGrady looks like someone who won't sleep tonight. I got a text from Mikal Bridges after the game. Just kidding. Nobody texts me. We're wrapping up the mics. Up next: 'Chopped: Tupperware Lunch at the Office Edition.'
比赛日 12 — vs Cleveland Twin-Towers
97-113 (负)
Tracy McGrady, this guy with a proven track record, wins the opening tip! Great start for the team!
Mikal Bridges explodes the orange but it won't fall! Cold streak continues!
This generational talent Stephen Hawking loses concentration and the rock with it!
Stephen Curry overcommits and gets beat! Tendency to rush when reading the play!
An and-one! Mikal Bridges cannot be stopped tonight! This league veteran is locked in!
Halftime whistle. Mikal Bridges spits into the trash can walking into the locker room. Fun fact: Mikal Bridges tried to patent a celebration after a three-pointer. The application was rejected. Back to hostilities. Faces have changed in the locker room.
Stephen Curry, this big-name player, barks at the teammate! Injury-prone body taking over!
This certified bucket Stephen Curry shanks a half-court heave from downtown! That's uncharacteristic!
Stephen Hawking creates the switch! Smooth adjustment, 大學教師-level thinking!
Tracy McGrady grabs the shorts! This player on the come-up is running on fumes!
Mikal Bridges dribbles to the tunnel in disappointment. This guy with a proven track record will learn from this.
Stephen Curry bites the inside of his cheek. Blake Griffin pinches the bridge of his nose. Your commentator lost his press badge during the game. I had to climb over a barrier. Good night! Up next: 'America's Got Talent: Mouth Noises Edition.' The judges are baffled.
比赛日 13 — vs Boston Ring-Chasers
108-84 (胜)
This next-level player Mikal Bridges means business! Fast start driving to the hoop!
This big-name player Stephen Curry with a cold-blooded and-one! No conscience!
Tracy McGrady, this walking skyscraper, alters the shot! Iron discipline at the rim!
This dude putting the league on notice Mikal Bridges leads the fast break and dishes! Easy bucket off the assist!
Mikal Bridges fades away to the weak side! This guy with a proven track record exploiting the rotation!
Halftime whistle. Mikal Bridges spits into the trash can walking into the locker room. Fun fact: Mikal Bridges got rejected at a casting for a deodorant commercial. The irony. Let's go. The arena rumbles, the players answer.
Mikal Bridges, this league veteran, exploits the mismatch for a buzzer-beater! Too easy!
Tracy McGrady in a sold-out gym on fire! This well-respected player has been waiting for this stage!
Stephen Hawking covers for the teammate! Got your back, that's the 大學教師 way!
The story of Stephen Hawking: a 大學教師 by morning, a baller by night. The young scholars would be proud!
This name that's buzzing Blake Griffin walks off to a standing ovation! A hostile crowd! Incredible!
Stephen Curry and Tracy McGrady chest bump so hard they each fly back three meters. Tonight my colleague told me I smell like stress. I told him it was my cologne. See you at the next game! In the meantime: 'Pawn Stars: Selling a Pen Without a Cap.'
比赛日 14 — vs San Antonio Skyscrapers
109-102 (胜)
Stephen Hawking sets the tone early! The 大學教師 came to play tonight!
Tracy McGrady with the smooth tear drop! This established player making it look easy!
Stephen Curry with the help-side perfect contest! This headliner always in position!
Stephen Curry, this combo guard, delivers the entry pass! Beautiful feed into the post!
Stephen Hawking uses a suffocating man-to-man defense brilliantly! Strategy from challenging the young scholars!
The players disappear into the tunnel. Mikal Bridges asks for an ice pack. Anecdote: Mikal Bridges slipped on a banana peel during practice. The videos leaked. The internet never forgets. Break's over, time for basketball. Let's go.
Stephen Curry with the tough layup through contact! This max-contract guy won't be denied!
The energy in this building is unreal! Tracy McGrady channeling a Playoff atmosphere!
Mikal Bridges pulls up the rock with patience! This league veteran trusting the system!
Tracy McGrady, this mammoth, evolves before our eyes! A play that goes down in history!
Mikal Bridges hugs the coach! This next-level player with a complete performance!
Stephen Hawking runs to the coach and lifts the coach up. Not thrilled but smiles anyway. During the game, I counted how many times I said 'incredible.' Seventeen. A personal record. We're out! And now, 'House Hunters: Broom Closet Edition.' Cozy open concept.
比赛日 15 — vs Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest
90-117 (负)
This solid pro Blake Griffin opens the scoring! A layup! Early advantage!
Stephen Curry can't buy a bucket! Another miss back to the basket! Frustrating!
This name that's buzzing Tracy McGrady with turnover number points! Heavy feet is piling up!
This headliner Stephen Curry bites on the fake! Beaten from the right corner!
Mikal Bridges converts a tough reverse layup from downtown! Skill level: elite!
Break. Blake Griffin collapses next to the vending machine. Fun fact: Blake Griffin blocked a shot in the finals... And dislocated a thumb celebrating. Classic. Here we go. Tactical adjustments have been made.
Stephen Hawking slaps the floor in frustration! Slapping harder than a 大學教師 hits the workbench!
Tracy McGrady misfires from mid-range! Even this hooper's hooper has off nights!
Stephen Curry penetrates into the right spacing! Unreal swagger and elite court awareness!
Mikal Bridges is running on pure willpower! This player on the come-up refusing to quit!
This guy everybody knows Stephen Curry leaves the hardwood with head held high. Fought to the end.
Stephen Hawking claps his hands in frustration. Stephen Curry clenches his jaw so hard you can hear it from here. Confession: I bet against my favorite team tonight. Superstition. It works half the time. Thanks everyone! And now: 'Keeping Up with the Kardashians: Season 312.' They will never stop.
My Team ends the season #7 with a 9W-6L record. Season MVP: Mikal Bridges.
Season journal
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