O meu cinco ideal — basketball_team 🇵🇹
5 membros · TeamBranch
Diário da temporada
Classificação
| # | Team | V | D | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Detroit Engine-Roar | 13 | 2 | 26 |
| 2 | Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest | 13 | 2 | 26 |
| 3 | San Antonio Skyscrapers | 13 | 2 | 26 |
| 4 | Boston Ring-Chasers | 13 | 2 | 26 |
| 5 | Cleveland Twin-Towers | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 6 | New York Over-Timers | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 7 | Minnesota Ice-Wall | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 8 | Denver Horse-Track | 7 | 8 | 14 |
| 9 | Toronto Border-Patrol | 7 | 8 | 14 |
| 10 | Houston Blast-Off | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 11 | Los Angeles Nursing-Home | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 12 | Miami Heart-Attack | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 13 | Phoenix No-Defense | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 14 | Philadelphia Injury-Report | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 15 | Orlando Magic-Beans | 1 | 14 | 2 |
| 16 | My Team | 0 | 15 | 0 |
Pré-temporada
Buckle up, pull your visor down, and clench everything you've got because tonight we are NOT talking about some pickup game at the park. Hell no. We're talking about an arena shaking so hard the neighbors called the cops three times before tip-off. We're talking about a franchise built on decades of sweat, tears, heart-stopping buzzer-beaters, and Draft picks so bold that half the league thought they'd lost their minds. And yet, here they are, back and hungrier than ever. The team with no name, baby! Yeah sure, it's a team sport, we all agree on that. But when you've got Mutano on your roster, the word "team" basically means him plus four guys who pass him the ball. The man is massive, a first step more explosive than a rocket launch, and a fadeaway so silky that even the defenders applaud as they watch him score. Scouts had this dude flagged at 14. By 16, he was beating pros. Today? He's embarrassing them. You want to know the difference between a good player and a damn franchise player? It's the fourth quarter. When the legs are burning, when the lungs are begging for mercy, when the scoreboard is taunting you with a tight score, that's when he lights up. Like a diesel engine finally hitting its temperature. The first three quarters are the warm-up. The fourth quarter is his hunting ground. And the prey? It's the teams that thought they had a chance. Attention, things are about to get serious. Actually no, things are about to go completely off the rails. The front office signed Doutor Estranho. The man is a neurocirugião. Yes, you heard that right. A neurocirugião. On a basketball court. With bare hands in his gym bag and zero understanding of what a pick-and-roll is. The coach says it's a "bet on raw athleticism" but between us, I'm pretty sure he lost a poker bet. Doutor Estranho had his first practice yesterday and asked if the free throw line was home plate. The teammates are dying laughing, the fans don't know whether to cry or applaud, and the GM was spotted updating his resume on LinkedIn. The budget? Look, I've seen GoFundMe campaigns with more money. We're below the salary floor, which means the league is literally going to HAND them cash to hit the legal minimum. It's embarrassing, but it's also a plan: tank hard, finish last, snag the first overall pick, and rebuild. The problem is they've been tanking for three years and never landed the top pick. Bad luck has a name, and it's this damn franchise.
Jornada 1 — vs Detroit Engine-Roar
75-119 (D)
Son Goku starts in the scorer! Playing the scorer way an agricultor plays with the transplantador de sementes!
Jesus, this basketball god, with a contested finger roll that misses at the top of the key!
Son Goku dispossessed! Couldn't hold on, not the agricultor's finest moment!
Albert Einstein bites on the fake! Fooled like an inventor by counterfeit the o status quo!
Son Goku glares at the orange! Like it personally betrayed this agricultor!
Back to the locker room. Son Goku's shorts are torn but he couldn't care less. Bus driver's confession: Son Goku raps gibberish during road trips. Loudly. Second half! The hardwood is about to shake again.
Brick! Son Goku misfires at the top of the key! Hot head at the worst time!
Mutano is running on fumes! The super-herói tank is completely empty!
This undisputed superstar Albert Einstein commits the 5-second violation! Clock management shaky emotions under pressure!
Mutano slaps the floor in frustration! Slapping harder than a super-herói hits the workbench!
Albert Einstein walks off in defeat! Even an inventor's skills couldn't save tonight!
Jesus sits down on the hardwood, head on his knees. Son Goku puts a hand on his shoulder without saying a word. During the break, I tried doing crunches behind the console. My back remembers. Alright, good night! Up next: 'Secret Life of Your Mailman.' Episode 47.
Jornada 2 — vs Miami Heart-Attack
83-120 (D)
Jesus, this swiss-army-knife type, takes the court! The standing ovation is electric!
This name that's buzzing Doutor Estranho rattles it out! So close yet so far in the paint!
Jesus, this solid build, gets stripped in the paint! Injury-prone body exposed!
Son Goku turns the head and loses the man! This multi-time All-Star napping defensively!
Jesus throws their hands up! Like a messias when their bare hands breaks!
Break! Son Goku has left a puddle of sweat at every step through the tunnel. Little scoop: Son Goku tried to bribe the DJ to play his song. The DJ agreed. Nobody liked it. We pick up right where we left off. Time to play.
Air ball from Mutano! Being a super-herói doesn't help with shooting, apparently!
Doutor Estranho drags their feet! Heavy as their bare hands at the end of a shift!
Mutano with the careless pass! Competing the game with more care, please!
Mutano stares in disbelief! The look of a super-herói who just lost everything!
Doutor Estranho looks at the scoreboard one last time! Numbers don't lie for a neurocirugião!
Albert Einstein stares at the floor while Mutano mutters something inaudible under his breath. My evening in summary: yell, drink coffee, yell again, spill the coffee, yell some more. Good evening! Up next: 'Fixer Upper: Renovating a Studio on a Twelve-Dollar Budget.' Challenge accepted.
Jornada 3 — vs Orlando Magic-Beans
105-106 (D)
This dude putting the league on notice Mutano comes out firing! A euro-step in the first minute!
Albert Einstein, this certified GOAT candidate, drops an alley-oop from the right corner! Pure artistry!
Albert Einstein gets blown by! Even an inventor couldn't stop that!
This seasoned vet Doutor Estranho throws up a prayer from downtown! Not answered!
Son Goku refuses to quit! An agricultor who never quits, period!
The players head in. Son Goku slips on the wet tunnel floor. True story: Son Goku walked into the wrong locker room during his first game against Orlando Magic-Beans. Awkward. Back on the court. The coach changed the starting five, that'll be a surprise.
Son Goku misses the game-tying shot! Even an agricultor couldn't save that one!
Albert Einstein gets a technical for complaining! Tendency to force bad shots on full display!
This jersey-selling name Son Goku silences the noise! An off-the-charts basketball IQ locked in! Nothing else matters!
Jesus penetrates and bricks it! Injury-prone body in overtime!
Albert Einstein gave it everything! Everything an inventor has, left on the court!
Son Goku mutters 'damn' under his breath. Albert Einstein says 'yeah' in the same tone. Confession: I nearly fell asleep during the second quarter. The third woke me right up. See you at the next game! In the meantime: 'Pawn Stars: Selling a Pen Without a Cap.'
Jornada 4 — vs Philadelphia Injury-Report
96-125 (D)
Doutor Estranho announces themselves! The neurocirugião has arrived and the building knows it!
Son Goku rattles in and out! The solo persistente never teases an agricultor like that!
Albert Einstein trips up in the left wing! An inventor never trips at work... Right?
Doutor Estranho loses their assignment! Like losing their bare hands in the workshop!
Albert Einstein, this smooth operator, showcases nerves of steel with a gorgeous layup!
Halftime whistle! Mutano grabs a towel and collapses on the bench. They say Mutano has a ritual where he touches the basket post three times. If someone watches, starts over. The show goes on. Players take position. Silence. Whistle.
Son Goku slams the basketball in frustration! Occasional mental lapses on full display!
Mutano can't find the range! Their bare hands has better accuracy than that!
Jesus with the perfect cut! Precision of a messias with their bare hands!
Jesus stumbles on the play! Stumbling like a messias over the game!
Mutano vows to come back stronger! Stronger than their bare hands reinforced with the game!
Son Goku's complexion is grey. Jesus's is red. Defeat comes in different colors. While you were watching the game, I was desperately searching for my pen. Still haven't found it. Thanks for being here. Coming up: 'Forbidden Zone: Behind the Scenes of a Vending Machine.'
Jornada 5 — vs Phoenix No-Defense
87-128 (D)
Jesus penetrates with energy from the opening whistle! This generational talent locked in!
Albert Einstein with the off-balance reverse layup! This basketball god couldn't set the feet!
Jesus loses the pill in traffic! This basketball god can't afford that!
Jesus, this solid build, can't keep up with the speed! Ego the size of Texas exposed!
Doutor Estranho shakes their head! A neurocirugião who can't believe that just happened!
Halftime whistle! Albert Einstein slides down against the hallway wall. Physio's confession: Albert Einstein purrs when you massage his calves. Like a cat. A big cat. Alright, it's time. The second half waits for no one.
Doutor Estranho dishes but it's well off! Defense that's basically a suggestion under fatigue!
Albert Einstein, this do-it-all player, is drenched in sweat! Emptying the tank!
Stolen from Mutano! A super-herói who let it slip through their fingers!
Mutano storms to the bench! Heated! This super-herói doesn't handle losing well!
Jesus tips the cap to the winners! The messias's grace with the game!
Albert Einstein watches the crowd file out in silence. Son Goku prefers not to look. During the game, I counted how many times I said 'incredible.' Seventeen. A personal record. We're done here. Up next: 'Top Chef: Microwave Edition.' Bon appetit.
Jornada 6 — vs Los Angeles Nursing-Home
91-100 (D)
Mutano steps onto the court! From competing the game to this, game time!
Mutano dishes and fires but misses everything! Tendency to rush tonight!
Albert Einstein, this do-it-all player, telegraphs the pass! Intercepted in transition!
Son Goku can't stay in front! Cultivarring the solo persistente doesn't build lateral quickness!
Son Goku banks a bank shot off the glass! Geometry learned from the agricultor life!
Break! Jesus takes his jersey off before even reaching the locker room. Juicy intel: Jesus turned down an endorsement deal because he'd have to wear a mascot costume. And we're off! The energy in the arena just went up a notch.
Doutor Estranho mouths off at with seconds left on the clock! A neurocirugião venting about the game!
Son Goku, this multi-time All-Star, fumbles the finish facing the rim! Back to the drawing board!
Mutano uses a relentless run and gun to get open! Open space created with their bare hands smarts!
Jesus short-arms the shot from fatigue! This first-ballot legend has nothing left!
Doutor Estranho leaves the gym with dignity! The dignity of a neurocirugião with their bare hands!
Son Goku has bags under his eyes that weren't there before the game. Mutano has aged ten years in forty minutes. My evening in one word? Epic. In two words? Epic and loud. See you tomorrow. In the meantime, it's 'Who Wants to Marry My Goldfish.' Good luck with that.
Jornada 7 — vs Toronto Border-Patrol
99-114 (D)
Son Goku, this established star, draws first blood! A buzzer-beater to start!
Mutano denied by the basket! Even a super-herói can't pry it open!
Jesus with the bad read! Misreading the play like misreading the game!
This franchise cornerstone Jesus can't recover! Scored on the low block! Injury-prone body!
Jesus adds to the total! A messias who always exceeds expectations!
The locker room. Albert Einstein sprawls out full-length on the bench. Intel: Albert Einstein once called an imaginary timeout in the middle of a game. The ref actually hesitated. The arena lights up, the players are back. Game on.
This player on the come-up Mutano slaps the floor in anger! The frustration is palpable!
Mutano fires and misses facing the rim. Should have stuck with the game!
Doutor Estranho runs the offense! Running it like a neurocirugião runs the show!
Doutor Estranho, this established player, making mistakes from exhaustion! The body is failing!
Albert Einstein, this living legend, takes the loss hard. Ego the size of Texas at the wrong moments.
Jesus whispers 'this can't be real' under his breath. Son Goku nods without conviction. Tonight I had a revelation: Son Goku runs exactly like my neighbor when he misses the bus. Alright, good evening! Now it's 'Love Is in the Parking Lot.' Romance guaranteed.
Jornada 8 — vs Minnesota Ice-Wall
104-105 (D)
Son Goku gets the starting nod! An agricultor starting with the transplantador de sementes confidence!
The technical flair of Jesus recalls their messias days. A fadeaway jumper! Sublime!
Jesus gets burned on the drive! Defense that's basically a suggestion in lateral movement!
A double-clutch layup from Jesus hits the iron! Defense that's basically a suggestion under the spotlight!
Son Goku delivers under pressure! Pressure-tested by the transplantador de sementes at work!
Break. Mutano asks the medical staff for coffee. Request denied. Anecdote: Mutano lost a bet and had to wear the center's shoes during warm-ups. Size 16. Back at it! The players jog toward center court.
Son Goku turns it over with seconds left on the clock! This top-tier talent crumbles under pressure!
This multi-time All-Star Son Goku gets into it with the opponent! Tempers flaring!
The story of Doutor Estranho: a neurocirugião by morning, a baller by night. The game would be proud!
Jesus gets stripped on the final possession! That's gonna be a costly turnover!
This living legend Jesus stares at the scoreboard. Not the outcome this living legend wanted.
Doutor Estranho slams his fist on the bench. Son Goku places his palm flat, as if to calm the surface. During the break, I tried doing crunches behind the console. My back remembers. That's a wrap! Coming up: 'American Idol: Accountant Edition.' Singing, dancing, and spreadsheets.
Jornada 9 — vs Houston Blast-Off
84-128 (D)
Tip-off! Mutano gets us started! Let's go!
Mutano lets fly the Spalding into nothing! Shaky emotions under pressure on full display tonight!
Albert Einstein loses the orange! An inventor would never be this careless!
Jesus gets posted up and scored on! This absolute legend overpowered!
Albert Einstein can't mask the disappointment! This all-time great wearing it on the sleeve!
That's a wrap for now. Albert Einstein dives into the tunnel. Confession: Albert Einstein tried yoga. Lasted two sessions before declaring it a combat sport. Back in action! The coach got the message across.
Son Goku forces up a devastating dunk over the defense! Ego the size of Texas! Bad decision!
This living legend Jesus can barely jump! The springs are gone along the baseline!
Doutor Estranho gets picked! A neurocirugião getting the game stolen in broad daylight!
Jesus sits on the bench for a moment! Resting like a messias after a long shift!
Doutor Estranho hangs their head! A neurocirugião who gave everything they had!
Albert Einstein's face is locked shut, zero emotion. Jesus hides his eyes under a towel. Final confession: I still don't know how to pronounce Albert Einstein's name. Forgive me. That's a wrap! And now, 'The Price Is Right: Why Nobody Answers the Phone Anymore.'
Jornada 10 — vs Denver Horse-Track
73-118 (D)
The court welcomes Jesus! The messias with the game has arrived!
Doutor Estranho, this player making noise, can't convert the fast break! Wasted opportunity!
Turnover by Mutano! Competing the game requires less coordination, clearly!
Doutor Estranho caught flat-footed! Standing still, the neurocirugião reflexes took a nap!
Mutano mouths off and picks up a T! Occasional mental lapses taking over!
Break! Albert Einstein takes his jersey off before even reaching the locker room. Did you know Albert Einstein started basketball because he was terrible at soccer? Sometimes failure leads to greatness. Back for the second half. The coach slammed his fist on the table.
Jesus misfires again! Having the game-shaped night!
Mutano shoots but the legs won't cooperate! Lack of consistency catching up!
Son Goku commits the live-ball turnover! The transplantador de sementes would be ashamed!
Albert Einstein fades away angrily after the turnover! This living legend spiraling!
Son Goku reflects on what could have been. Heavy feet the difference tonight.
Mutano's eyes are glassy. Son Goku mumbles 'we'll get them next time' without believing it. Yours truly held it together all evening without a bathroom break. That's professionalism. Thanks everyone! Up next: 'Ice Road Truckers: Uber Eats Delivery on a Rainy Night.'
Jornada 11 — vs New York Over-Timers
80-124 (D)
Son Goku wins the opening tip! Tipping off with agricultor energy!
Mutano posts up but the shot rims out! Heavy feet rears its ugly head!
Albert Einstein turns it over in half court! Butterfingers from this inventor!
Son Goku gambles for the steal and pays the price! Tendency to force bad shots!
This guy with rings on every finger Albert Einstein can't believe the call! Arguing with the ref!
The players disappear. Son Goku has a makeshift neck brace out of a towel. Anecdote: Son Goku tried to impress the New York Over-Timers players with a warm-up dunk. Hit the rim. With his face. We're back at it. The crowd had time to reload at the snack bar.
Mutano misses the triple! Three-pointers aren't like triple-checking the game!
This guy with a proven track record Mutano is a warrior but the body says no! The 48 regulation minutes of war!
Mutano forces the pass! Forcing their bare hands where it doesn't fit!
Jesus argues with the ref! The same passion they bring to competing the game!
Son Goku shakes hands through the pain! An agricultor who respects the transplantador de sementes and the game!
Son Goku lets out a big exhale walking through the door. Albert Einstein holds his in. Your favorite commentator survived. It's not much, but it's honest work. See you tomorrow. In the meantime, it's 'Who Wants to Marry My Goldfish.' Good luck with that.
Jornada 12 — vs Cleveland Twin-Towers
84-112 (D)
This hall-of-fame lock Albert Einstein gets the crowd going early! The energy is building!
Jesus just barely misses! Close as a messias getting the game almost right!
Doutor Estranho with the backcourt violation! A neurocirugião going backwards with the game!
Son Goku loses the screen battle! Defense that's basically a suggestion around the picks!
Albert Einstein with pure God-given talent finds the angle for a hook shot!
Time to breathe. Albert Einstein has both hands on both knees, completely cooked. Anecdote: Albert Einstein tried to impress the Cleveland Twin-Towers players with a warm-up dunk. Hit the rim. With his face. Let's go, we're back. The crowd claps in rhythm.
Jesus drops the head after another miss! Occasional mental lapses sapping the confidence!
This big-name player Son Goku whiffs on a layup! The crowd groans!
Son Goku finds the angle! The angle agricultor uses for the solo persistente!
This generational talent Jesus stumbles! The fatigue is real after the 48 regulation minutes!
This absolute legend Albert Einstein tips the hat to the winner. Respect despite the pain.
Jesus looks like someone who hasn't slept in three days. Son Goku looks like someone who won't sleep tonight. Your favorite commentator survived. It's not much, but it's honest work. Good night! Up next: 'America's Got Talent: Mouth Noises Edition.' The judges are baffled.
Jornada 13 — vs Boston Ring-Chasers
92-129 (D)
Albert Einstein, this solid build, announced to huge cheers! A sold-out gym on fire!
Doutor Estranho lets fly the Spalding into the front rim! That's frustrating for this legit talent!
This hooper's hooper Doutor Estranho loses concentration and the Spalding with it!
Doutor Estranho, this solid build, fouls unnecessarily along the baseline! Defense that's basically a suggestion!
Mutano, this smooth operator, throws the hands up! Exasperated in transition!
Rest. Doutor Estranho buries his head in a wet towel and doesn't move. Little secret: Doutor Estranho watches cat videos between quarters. Says it's relaxing. The players are back on the court. Here we go again!
Jesus gets blocked! Rejected harder than a messias's worst day on the job!
Albert Einstein is gassed! More tired than after a full day of revolucionarring the o status quo!
Mutano loses possession! The game never leaves a super-herói's hands like that!
Albert Einstein tugs at their jersey! Frustrated, but the inventor will bounce back!
Son Goku, this do-it-all player, hangs the head. Tough loss despite that dawg mentality effort.
Doutor Estranho claps his hands in frustration. Son Goku clenches his jaw so hard you can hear it from here. On my end, I discovered the arena's coffee machine was broken. The game nearly went uncommentated. That's a wrap! And now, 'The Price Is Right: Why Nobody Answers the Phone Anymore.'
Jornada 14 — vs San Antonio Skyscrapers
83-109 (D)
Jesus comes out hot! Heated up and ready, the messias means business!
Mutano misses! Even a super-herói can't fix that shot!
Mutano throws it into traffic! Reckless pass, the super-herói got too confident!
Son Goku bites on the pump fake! This All-Star caliber talent sent flying at half court!
This league veteran Doutor Estranho capitalizes off the pick and roll! A pull-up jumper with a killer instinct!
The players file out. Doutor Estranho exchanges a tense look with the coach. True story: Doutor Estranho walked into the wrong locker room during his first game against San Antonio Skyscrapers. Awkward. On to the next chapter. The court is just waiting for the ball.
Mutano buries their face! Hidden from view, the super-herói can't watch!
This all-time great Albert Einstein misfires again! Tendency to force bad shots could cost the team!
Mutano counters the press! Problem solved, super-herói style!
Albert Einstein is running on pure willpower! This absolute legend refusing to quit!
Jesus fought but fell short! Just out of reach, the messias gave everything!
Son Goku's lip is trembling. Doutor Estranho dodges the cameras by pulling up his hood. Tonight I lost my voice, rediscovered my passion, and forgot where I parked. A complete evening. Good night everyone! Up next: 'Worst Cooks in America: Boiling an Egg Without Breaking It.' Challenge accepted.
Jornada 15 — vs Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest
77-121 (D)
Albert Einstein checks in for the first play! Clocking in for the shift, let's work!
Jesus, this do-it-all player, draws the foul but can't capitalize! Ego the size of Texas!
Jesus dribbles it off their foot! Their bare hands would never betray a messias like that!
This up-and-coming baller Doutor Estranho gives up the offensive rebound! Tendency to rush when boxing out!
Albert Einstein, this swiss-army-knife type, sits down hard on the bench! Heavy feet written all over his face!
Players head to the locker room. Jesus has tape on three fingers. Fun fact: Jesus blocked a shot in the finals... And dislocated a thumb celebrating. Classic. Here we go. Tactical adjustments have been made.
Son Goku launches and misses! The orange isn't the solo persistente, and it shows!
Mutano looks to the bench for relief! Relief like a super-herói relieved of their bare hands!
Doutor Estranho coughs up the damn ball! Injury-prone body strikes again on the low block!
Doutor Estranho looks to the heavens! A neurocirugião praying for their bare hands to work!
Doutor Estranho takes the loss hard! Hard as the game on a bad neurocirugião day!
Albert Einstein chews his nails on the bench. Doutor Estranho stares at his shoes like they're the source of the problem. Your commentator lost his press badge during the game. I had to climb over a barrier. Thanks for the game! And now, tonight's feature film: 'Fast and Furious 47: The Quest for a Parking Spot.'
My Team finishes #16 (0W-15L). Better luck next season! MVP: Mutano.
Diário da temporada
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