Il mio quintetto ideale — basketball_team 🇮🇹
4 membri · TeamBranch
Diario di stagione
Classifica
| # | Team | V | S | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Detroit Engine-Roar | 14 | 1 | 28 |
| 2 | Boston Ring-Chasers | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 3 | Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 4 | Cleveland Twin-Towers | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 5 | Denver Horse-Track | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 6 | New York Over-Timers | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 7 | Houston Blast-Off | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 8 | San Antonio Skyscrapers | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 9 | Minnesota Ice-Wall | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 10 | Orlando Magic-Beans | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 11 | Toronto Border-Patrol | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 12 | Philadelphia Injury-Report | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 13 | Los Angeles Nursing-Home | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 14 | Phoenix No-Defense | 3 | 12 | 6 |
| 15 | Miami Heart-Attack | 3 | 12 | 6 |
| 16 | My Team | 1 | 14 | 2 |
Pre-stagione
Alright, sit your ass down for two minutes because tonight we're not messing around, we're diving headfirst into a sold-out arena that smells like rubber and sweat, with 20,000 fans ready to lose their damn voices. We're about to relive the saga of a franchise that's seen it all: the glory years when they bulldozed the league, the dark ages when nothing went in, and the Draft-night strokes of genius that brought them back to the summit. This ain't just basketball, this is American legend carried by physical freaks who aren't here to play nice, they're here to carve their names into NBA history with psycho stat lines and rim-rattling dunks that shake the whole damn building. The team with no name, baby! Okay, we need to talk about the monster. Because there are players, and then there's Scottie Pippen. It's not the same category, it's not even the same damn sport. Standing at 204 cm, with footwork like a ballet dancer and a jumper purer than spring water. The kind of guy who drops 35 in three quarters, sits down on the bench in the fourth because he's bored, and pulls out his phone to check his stats on the Jumbotron. He's not a player, he's a statistical anomaly. The opposing locker room before the game, you know what they talk about? Not the game plan. Not the offensive scheme. No. They talk about HIM. "How do we stop him?" "Who takes the matchup?" "Does he look tired?" Spoiler: he's never tired. And even when he looks tired, it's a trap. The man fakes exhaustion in the third quarter and drops 14 in the fourth like a coiled spring being released. Opposing coaches have 50-page scouting reports on him, and every single page is absolutely useless. And because this season couldn't possibly be normal, the coach went out and signed Gengis Khan. The man. Is. A condottiero. I'm going to let that marinate for two seconds. A condottiero. On a professional basketball court. With guys who jump 3 feet off the ground. This dude jumps 6 inches, on a good day, with a running start and the wind at his back. But he's got stendardo da battaglia and apparently, the technical motion of a condottiero and a pull-up jumper are "basically the same thing, give or take 90 degrees." That's what the coach said. The team doctor immediately requested a cognitive evaluation for the coach. Mid-pack budget. The team of guys who punch the clock, don't complain, cash a decent paycheck, and go home without making headlines. It's not sexy, but it works. The GM is a damn wizard at finding role players at 3 million who play like they're worth 15, and the coach squeezes every drop out of this roster. The problem? One major injury and the whole house of cards collapses.
Giornata 1 — vs Detroit Engine-Roar
86-119 (S)
Gengis Khan, this global icon, embraces the palpable tension! Game on!
This hall-of-fame lock Gesù shanks a finger roll from downtown! That's uncharacteristic!
Gengis Khan coughs it up! A condottiero's grip doesn't work on the leather!
This basketball god Gesù fouls reaching in! Shaky emotions under pressure on defense!
This franchise cornerstone Gesù slaps the floor in anger! The frustration is palpable!
Buzzer sounds, halftime! Scottie Pippen walks head down toward the tunnel. Fun fact: Scottie Pippen tried to negotiate a 'mandatory nap' clause in his contract. Denied. Both teams return with fresh instructions from the coach.
Scottie Pippen drives the leather awkwardly! The touch just isn't there for this big-name player!
Gengis Khan asks for ice! Cooling down, even a condottiero's engine needs a rest!
Scottie Pippen, this absolute unit, fumbles the entry pass at the buzzer!
This dude putting the league on notice John Stockton can't believe the call! Arguing with the ref!
John Stockton, this swiss-army-knife type, trudges off the den. Lessons to take from this one.
Gesù isolates in a corner, back against the wall. Gengis Khan tries to talk. He raises a hand to say no. I spent my evening screaming into a microphone, and honestly, I'd do it all over again. See you soon. And now: '911: My Cat Climbed on Top of the Wardrobe.'
Giornata 2 — vs Miami Heart-Attack
84-113 (S)
This respected competitor John Stockton opens the scoring! An alley-oop! Early advantage!
John Stockton, this player on the come-up, with the shot-clock heave! No good facing the rim!
This seasoned vet John Stockton with turnover number points! Shaky emotions under pressure is piling up!
Scottie Pippen gets burned on the drive! Tendency to force bad shots in lateral movement!
John Stockton pulls up and drills a catch-and-shoot triple! Can't teach that!
Halftime. John Stockton glances at his phone for two seconds and puts it back. Did you know John Stockton plays better when it's raining outside? Even indoors. Go figure. The players are back on the court. Here we go again!
Scottie Pippen slams the pill in frustration! Injury-prone body on full display!
Scottie Pippen, this big fella, can't finish in transition! That one stings!
Gengis Khan goes to the post! That condottiero strength is showing!
John Stockton, this swiss-army-knife type, laboring up and down! Tendency to rush draining the energy!
Gengis Khan tells reporters: 'Tomorrow we radunares better, like the il fronte di guerra!'
John Stockton lets out a big exhale walking through the door. Gengis Khan holds his in. I spent my evening screaming into a microphone, and honestly, I'd do it all over again. That's a wrap for tonight. Coming up: 'The Amazing Race: Subway Line 13.' Viewer discretion advised.
Giornata 3 — vs Orlando Magic-Beans
78-115 (S)
The game begins and Scottie Pippen is ready! You can see iron discipline written all over his face!
John Stockton forces a bad deep three! This hooper's hooper needs to trust teammates!
Scottie Pippen blows past carelessly and gets stripped! Another giveaway!
Gengis Khan gets blown by! Even a condottiero couldn't stop that!
Scottie Pippen drops the head after another miss! Defense that's basically a suggestion sapping the confidence!
The locker room fills up. John Stockton has already eaten three oranges. Fun fact: John Stockton blocked a shot in the finals... And dislocated a thumb celebrating. Classic. We're off again! The crowd chants the team's name.
A deep three from Gesù hits the iron! Tendency to force bad shots under the spotlight!
John Stockton steps back but the legs won't cooperate! Defense that's basically a suggestion catching up!
John Stockton blows past the Spalding right to the defense! Costly mistake by this name that's buzzing!
Scottie Pippen picks up the second technical! This headliner ejected! Tendency to force bad shots!
Gesù shakes hands through the pain! A messia who respects their bare hands and the game!
Gesù closes his eyes walking out. Scottie Pippen keeps his wide open, fixed, empty. I spent the evening standing up and sitting down every thirty seconds. My Fitbit is congratulating me. See you soon. Coming up: 'Extreme Couponing: Family of Eight at Walmart.' Double episode.
Giornata 4 — vs Philadelphia Injury-Report
112-99 (V)
This league veteran John Stockton in the starting lineup! Let's see what this league veteran brings!
A double-clutch layup from Gengis Khan! Another dagger! This franchise cornerstone closing the door!
Scottie Pippen, this long boy, walls off the drive at the buzzer! No way through!
This living legend Gesù with the one-handed bullet pass! Right on the money!
Scottie Pippen, this max-contract guy, draws the double team and finds the open man! High IQ!
The players disappear into the tunnel. Scottie Pippen asks for an ice pack. Quick anecdote about Scottie Pippen: apparently he eats pasta with ketchup before every game. To each their own ritual. There they are. The coach must have found the right words.
Gengis Khan carves through and scores! That's what a condottiero does best!
A roaring arena as Scottie Pippen, this mountain of a man, is introduced! Goosebumps!
Gengis Khan runs the play to perfection! Perfection of radunaring the il fronte di guerra!
Scottie Pippen rises up with purpose! That dawg mentality driving this team forward!
This reliable star Scottie Pippen seals the deal! Victory with an off-the-charts basketball IQ!
John Stockton grabs the arena mic and screams. Just a scream. Gengis Khan applauds. Behind the scenes, the cameraman told me I was making faces during free throws. I had no idea. Until next time! Up next: 'Life Unplugged: A Day Without WiFi.' A shocking documentary.
Giornata 5 — vs Phoenix No-Defense
89-110 (S)
Gesù, this all-time great, wins the opening tip! Great start for the team!
John Stockton, this dude putting the league on notice, sends the leather wide! The touch is off tonight!
John Stockton blows past into a trap! Sometimes predictable game when reading the defense!
Gesù loses their assignment! Like losing their bare hands in the workshop!
John Stockton, this smooth operator, uses every inch to deliver a half-court heave!
Break. Gengis Khan collapses on the locker room floor, arms spread wide. I've been told Gengis Khan always puts his left shoe on first. The one day he switched, gave up 40 points. Here they come. You can read the determination on their faces.
Gengis Khan drops their shoulders! Deflated, even a condottiero's spirit has limits!
Gengis Khan can't convert! The condottiero's touch with the il fronte di guerra deserted them!
This certified GOAT candidate Gesù recognizes the zone and attacks the gap! Genius!
This guy everybody knows Scottie Pippen can barely get up the court! Fatigue setting in!
This certified GOAT candidate Gesù stares at the scoreboard. Not the outcome this certified GOAT candidate wanted.
John Stockton collapses into the first available chair. Gengis Khan stays standing, eyes glazed over. My evening? I spent it holding back tears. Of joy? Of exhaustion? Both. Good evening! Up next: 'Fixer Upper: Renovating a Studio on a Twelve-Dollar Budget.' Challenge accepted.
Giornata 6 — vs Los Angeles Nursing-Home
91-130 (S)
Scottie Pippen, this beanpole, sets the tone immediately! An unmatched feel for the game from the jump!
Gengis Khan misses badly! Should have aimed like they aim the stendardo da battaglia at the il fronte di guerra!
John Stockton, this swiss-army-knife type, gets stripped at half court! Heavy feet exposed!
This guy with rings on every finger Gesù picks up the cheap foul! Tendency to force bad shots showing!
John Stockton drives the towel! This solid pro showing defense that's basically a suggestion!
Halftime! Gesù checks his stats on the board and winces. Did you know? Gesù once signed an autograph for a referee. During the game. Mid free-throw. We're back! The players look fired up.
Gengis Khan rushes an off-balance shot off the pick and roll! Sometimes predictable game creeping in!
John Stockton is cramping up! This legit talent trying to shake it off! Sometimes predictable game!
This living legend Gengis Khan dribbles off the foot! Unforced error!
This big-name player Scottie Pippen shakes the head in disbelief! Nothing going right!
John Stockton crosses over to the tunnel in disappointment. This legit talent will learn from this.
Gesù whispers 'this can't be real' under his breath. Scottie Pippen nods without conviction. Yours truly survived this game without losing his voice. It was touch and go. We're packing up. Time for the late-night feature: 'Unsolved Mysteries: Where Is My Left Sock.'
Giornata 7 — vs Toronto Border-Patrol
79-118 (S)
Gesù bounces the ball pre-game! Getting that rhythm going!
Scottie Pippen gets a clean look but tendency to force bad shots costs the bucket!
John Stockton with the backcourt violation! This league veteran under too much pressure!
This household name Gesù gives up the offensive rebound! Defense that's basically a suggestion when boxing out!
Gesù argues with the ref! The same passion they bring to competing the game!
Back in the locker room, Gesù sits down and stares at the ceiling. Did you know Gesù once tried to start an ASMR podcast of sneaker squeaks on the hardwood? One episode. Deleted. Let's go, we're back. The crowd claps in rhythm.
Scottie Pippen with a wild attempt! This elite player not finding the range tonight!
John Stockton is gassed! This player on the come-up bent over at half court! Tendency to force bad shots catching up!
Scottie Pippen throws it into the stands! What was that from this jersey-selling name!
This established star Scottie Pippen stares at the ref! That look could freeze water!
Gesù leaves the venue quietly! Quiet as a messia after the game setback!
Gesù's gaze is cold, distant. Scottie Pippen's gaze is hot, angry. Did you know that Scottie Pippen practices condottiero on Tuesdays? Builds character, that does. Thanks for watching this game. And now: 'Deal or No Deal: Office Fridge Edition.'
Giornata 8 — vs Minnesota Ice-Wall
77-115 (S)
John Stockton, this versatile guy, announced to huge cheers! Wild stands!
John Stockton, this hooper's hooper, comes up empty! A bucket off target under the basket!
Scottie Pippen, this long boy, gets called for the carry! Occasional mental lapses in ball-handling!
This guy everybody knows Scottie Pippen commits the and-one foul! Tendency to force bad shots in positioning!
Scottie Pippen can't mask the disappointment! This established star wearing it on the sleeve!
Break. John Stockton asks the medical staff for coffee. Request denied. Did you know? John Stockton launched a basketball podcast. Two episodes. Zero listeners. Still going. Back on the court. The crowd greets them with a standing ovation.
Gengis Khan explodes the Wilson but it won't fall! Cold streak continues!
John Stockton grabs the shorts! This well-respected player is running on fumes!
John Stockton charges right into the defender! Turnover! Defense that's basically a suggestion when controlling pace!
Gesù stares in disbelief! The look of a messia who just lost everything!
This franchise cornerstone Gengis Khan tips the hat to the winner. Respect despite the pain.
John Stockton stares at the floor while Gesù mutters something inaudible under his breath. Your commentator broke his personal screaming record tonight. My throat is not thanking me. We're done for tonight. And now: 'Ancient Aliens: The True History of the Coffee Break.'
Giornata 9 — vs Houston Blast-Off
85-130 (S)
Gesù takes the court to an incredible energy! The messia with their bare hands is here!
Gengis Khan with the ugly miss! The condottiero touch is absent tonight!
John Stockton tries to be too fancy and loses the rock! Tendency to rush in the decision-making!
This next-level player John Stockton caught ball-watching! Backdoor cut for an easy score!
Scottie Pippen dunks and kicks the stanchion! This bonafide star losing composure!
That's a wrap for now. Gengis Khan dives into the tunnel. Did you know? Gengis Khan once signed an autograph for a referee. During the game. Mid free-throw. The players come back running. Did someone set the locker room on fire?
Gesù sends it wide! Their bare hands wouldn't forgive that either!
Gengis Khan drags their feet! Heavy as the stendardo da battaglia at the end of a shift!
Gengis Khan, this swiss-army-knife type, telegraphs the pass! Intercepted from downtown!
Gengis Khan slaps the floor in frustration! Slapping harder than a condottiero hits the workbench!
Gesù walks off in silence. This absolute legend gave it all but it wasn't enough.
John Stockton claps his hands in frustration. Gengis Khan clenches his jaw so hard you can hear it from here. I spent the evening explaining basketball rules to my new intern. He still thinks you can walk with the ball. Thanks for watching this game. And now: 'Deal or No Deal: Office Fridge Edition.'
Giornata 10 — vs Denver Horse-Track
89-102 (S)
Gesù steps onto the floor! From competing the game to this, game time!
Gengis Khan misfires! The condottiero's precision with the il fronte di guerra is nowhere to be found!
Scottie Pippen, this giant, commits the travel! Hot head in the footwork!
John Stockton turns the head and loses the man! This player on the come-up napping defensively!
An off-balance shot! John Stockton cannot be stopped tonight! This hooper's hooper is locked in!
Halftime. The doctor examines Gengis Khan's shoulder while the others catch their breath. Fun fact: Gengis Khan is unbeatable at arm wrestling in the locker room. Even the center is scared. Both teams retake the hardwood. Everything is still up for grabs.
Gengis Khan, this once-in-a-lifetime player, with the frustrated foul! Tendency to force bad shots in tough moments!
A catch-and-shoot triple attempt by Gengis Khan falls short! Hot head in the legs!
Scottie Pippen pushes the pace in transition! Night-in night-out consistency showing in every play!
Gengis Khan powers through! The condottiero in them won't quit on the il fronte di guerra!
Scottie Pippen had the chances but couldn't convert. This jersey-selling name left wanting.
John Stockton isolates in a corner, back against the wall. Gengis Khan tries to talk. He raises a hand to say no. Final confession: I still don't know how to pronounce John Stockton's name. Forgive me. That's all for tonight. And now: 'Deadliest Catch: Rush Hour on the Beltway.' Documentary.
Giornata 11 — vs New York Over-Timers
88-108 (S)
John Stockton, this smooth operator, takes the court! The sold-out gym on fire is electric!
This All-Star caliber talent Scottie Pippen short-arms a floater driving to the hoop! Not enough lift!
Gengis Khan, this swiss-army-knife type, steps out of bounds with the Wilson! Mental lapse!
John Stockton, this combo guard, can't keep up with the speed! Injury-prone body exposed!
This franchise guy Scottie Pippen erupts for a step-back three! The floodgates are open!
That's a cut. Gesù stumbles slightly reaching the locker room. I've been told Gesù once ordered a pizza during a timeout. The coach was not amused. The locker room empties, the court fills up. Act 2.
This potential GOAT Gengis Khan gets into it with the opponent! Tempers flaring!
Gengis Khan shoots short! Not enough juice! Even a condottiero would cringe!
Gengis Khan communicates the switch! Clear as a condottiero's instructions!
Gesù is huffing and puffing! Winded, even a messia would call it quits!
John Stockton, this player on the come-up, takes the loss hard. Sometimes predictable game at the wrong moments.
Scottie Pippen stands alone at center court as the lights go dim. Gengis Khan comes back to get him. My evening in one word? Epic. In two words? Epic and loud. That's all for tonight! Coming up: 'CSI: Underground Parking Garage.' Riveting stuff.
Giornata 12 — vs Cleveland Twin-Towers
89-129 (S)
This max-contract guy Scottie Pippen gets the crowd going early! The energy is building!
A bank shot from Gesù sails wide! This once-in-a-lifetime player needs to regroup!
This basketball god Gengis Khan with a careless turnover! Gift-wrapped for the opponent!
Gesù gambles for the steal and pays the price! Tendency to force bad shots!
Gengis Khan, this all-around player, throws the hands up! Exasperated back to the basket!
Halftime! John Stockton is limping slightly heading off the court. Little scoop: John Stockton collects Pokemon cards. That Charizard is worth more than his first contract. Back at it! The coach said two words. Two words that were enough.
Scottie Pippen crosses over but it's well off! Tendency to rush under fatigue!
Scottie Pippen short-arms the shot from fatigue! This multi-time All-Star has nothing left!
This solid pro John Stockton commits the 5-second violation! Clock management shaky emotions under pressure!
Scottie Pippen, this mammoth, pounds the scorer's table! Injury-prone body on full display!
Gesù fought but fell short! Just out of reach, the messia gave everything!
Gengis Khan hurls his mouthguard into the trash. John Stockton keeps his in, chewing on the frustration. Your commentator broke his personal screaming record tonight. My throat is not thanking me. Thanks for being here. Coming up: 'Forbidden Zone: Behind the Scenes of a Vending Machine.'
Giornata 13 — vs Boston Ring-Chasers
89-133 (S)
Gengis Khan launches onto the floor! The crowd roars for this once-in-a-lifetime player!
A bucket from Gengis Khan catches the back rim and pops out! So close!
Gesù throws it away! Injury-prone body under pressure driving to the hoop!
John Stockton gets caught flat-footed! This dude putting the league on notice beaten to the spot!
Scottie Pippen gets a technical for complaining! Ego the size of Texas on full display!
Both teams head to the locker room. John Stockton wipes his forehead with his jersey. Little scoop: John Stockton collects Pokemon cards. That Charizard is worth more than his first contract. There they are. The coach must have found the right words.
Scottie Pippen, this mountain of a man, gets stuffed trying an off-balance shot! Denied!
Gengis Khan gets the cramp timeout! Cramping from radunaring the il fronte di guerra and hooping!
John Stockton coughs up the orange! Defense that's basically a suggestion strikes again from way beyond the arc!
Scottie Pippen, this tree of a man, shows negative body language! Tendency to force bad shots creeping in!
John Stockton posts up past the media. This hooper's hooper not in the mood to talk.
John Stockton's complexion is grey. Gengis Khan's is red. Defeat comes in different colors. During the break, I tried to juggle three balls. My cameraman filmed everything. It'll come out someday. That was beautiful. And now: 'House Hunters International: 90-Square-Foot Studio, Wall View.' A steal.
Giornata 14 — vs San Antonio Skyscrapers
86-116 (S)
Tip-off! Scottie Pippen gets us started! Let's go!
Gesù misses! Even a messia can't fix that shot!
John Stockton with the errant pass! This player making noise needs to settle down!
Scottie Pippen lunges the wrong direction! Fake had this world-class player fooled!
Gesù attacks in the paint and finishes with a buzzer-beater! Too good!
Halftime whistle. Gesù spits into the trash can walking into the locker room. They say Gesù eats honey straight from the jar during timeouts. The bear of the hardwood. We're back! Flushed cheeks and hungry eyes on the players.
Gengis Khan glares at the scoreboard! This franchise cornerstone not happy with the situation!
John Stockton can't hit the ocean right now! Another miss for this well-respected player!
This world-class player Scottie Pippen uses the floater over this mammoth coverage! Smart!
Gesù labors up the court! Trudging like a messia dragging the game!
Gengis Khan looks at the scoreboard one last time! Numbers don't lie for a condottiero!
John Stockton watches the crowd file out in silence. Gesù prefers not to look. Evening confession: I'm wearing John Stockton's jersey under my shirt. For morale. Good evening! Up next: 'Fixer Upper: Renovating a Studio on a Twelve-Dollar Budget.' Challenge accepted.
Giornata 15 — vs Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest
85-129 (S)
Scottie Pippen dribbles into position! This established star not wasting any time!
This max-contract guy Scottie Pippen misses the mark! A thunderous slam goes begging from way beyond the arc!
Scottie Pippen with the lazy pass! Defense that's basically a suggestion leading to easy points!
Scottie Pippen, this 7-footer, gets exploited in the switch! Defense that's basically a suggestion exposed in the mismatch!
Scottie Pippen mutters to himself walking back! This big-name player fighting inner demons!
Back in the locker room, John Stockton sits down and stares at the ceiling. Anecdote: John Stockton tried to impress the Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest players with a warm-up dunk. Hit the rim. With his face. Both teams return with fresh instructions from the coach.
Off the mark for Gengis Khan! Great condottiero, not so great at basketball tonight!
Gesù, this all-around player, looks exhausted off the pick and roll! The legs are gone!
Turnover by Gesù! Competing the game requires less coordination, clearly!
Gesù, this once-in-a-lifetime player, barks at the teammate! Tendency to rush taking over!
Gesù takes the loss hard! Hard as the game on a bad messia day!
Gesù whispers 'this can't be real' under his breath. John Stockton nods without conviction. Confession: I nearly fell asleep during the second quarter. The third woke me right up. We're done here. Up next: 'Top Chef: Microwave Edition.' Bon appetit.
My Team finishes #16 (1W-14L). Better luck next season! MVP: Scottie Pippen.
Diario di stagione
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