Il mio quintetto ideale — basketball_team 🇮🇹
5 membri · TeamBranch
Diario di stagione
Classifica
| # | Team | V | S | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Detroit Engine-Roar | 14 | 1 | 28 |
| 2 | Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest | 13 | 2 | 26 |
| 3 | Cleveland Twin-Towers | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 4 | San Antonio Skyscrapers | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 5 | Boston Ring-Chasers | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 6 | New York Over-Timers | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 7 | Denver Horse-Track | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 8 | Toronto Border-Patrol | 7 | 8 | 14 |
| 9 | Minnesota Ice-Wall | 7 | 8 | 14 |
| 10 | Phoenix No-Defense | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 11 | Philadelphia Injury-Report | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 12 | Los Angeles Nursing-Home | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 13 | Houston Blast-Off | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 14 | Orlando Magic-Beans | 2 | 13 | 4 |
| 15 | Miami Heart-Attack | 2 | 13 | 4 |
| 16 | My Team | 1 | 14 | 2 |
Pre-stagione
Ladies and gentlemen, good evening and welcome to what is probably going to be the most electric night of this season. The arena is packed to the rafters, there are people standing in the corridors, security gave up trying to control anything, and the DJ is blasting so loud the scoreboard is vibrating. We are here to talk about a legendary franchise. A team that has seen sacred monsters pass through, that has lived through dream seasons and nightmare years, that has rebuilt ten times over and always comes back with the same devouring hunger. The team with no name, baby! Listen, I've watched hundreds of players come and go in my broadcasting career, but Michael Jordan is something else entirely. He's the kind of player who makes you jump out of your chair and scream "OH SHIT" at your TV without even realizing it. Standing at 198 cm, a wingspan like a pterodactyl, and a killer instinct that even the coaches can't explain. This man feels the game. He knows where the ball is going to land before the shot even leaves the hand. He reads passes like he's reading minds. At this level, it's not basketball anymore, it's straight-up sorcery. But what truly terrifies opponents isn't his highlights, it's his head. Look into his eyes during crunch time. There's nothing there. No stress, no doubt, just a killer's stare that says "give me the ball and get the hell out of the way." Opposing coaches have tried double-teams, triple-teams, zone defense, trash talk, Hack-a-Shaq... Nothing works. The man is programmed for clutch moments. It's genetic, and there's not a damn thing anyone can do about it. Moment of truth, folks. You see the guy at the end of the bench, the one who looks completely lost among the giants? That's Michael Phelps. A nuotatore in civilian life. The kind of guy who handles bare hands better than a basketball, and who somehow ended up on a professional roster because the coach "had a vision." A vision, ladies and gentlemen. Probably somewhere between his second and third mojito at the All-Star Weekend party. Michael Phelps has a unique playing style: he runs a lot, understands very little, and has an unfortunate tendency to treat the game and the basketball exact same way. The fans already love him. Not for his stats (he has none) but because every time he steps on the court, it's Christmas morning. Budget-wise, they're playing by the rules. Barely. It's clean, but it's tight. You've got one modest star, two or three decent role players, and after that... It's a black hole on the bench. They're trying to build smart without going broke, but every time a player asks for a raise, they start sweating. This is the definition of a "middle of the pack" squad.
Giornata 1 — vs Detroit Engine-Roar
76-120 (S)
Michael Jordan, this household name, wins the opening tip! Great start for the team!
Michael Jordan takes a tough buzzer beater and it doesn't go! Lack of consistency in shot selection!
Robert Wadlow coughs up the ball! Sometimes predictable game strikes again from the right corner!
Robert Wadlow gets posted up and scored on! This world-class player overpowered!
Robert Wadlow takes off the towel! This max-contract guy showing tendency to rush!
Halftime. The doctor examines Michael Phelps's shoulder while the others catch their breath. Intel: Michael Phelps once called an imaginary timeout in the middle of a game. The ref actually hesitated. The players emerge from the tunnel. Stern faces, clenched fists.
Michael Phelps misses on a clutch free throw! A nuotatore dropping the game at the worst time!
This headliner Robert Wadlow signals to the bench! Needs a blow! Ego the size of Texas!
Michael Jordan posts up into a trap! Tendency to force bad shots when reading the defense!
Michael Phelps dishes away from the huddle! This generational talent in a dark place mentally!
This All-Star caliber talent Stephen Curry congratulates the opponent. Class in defeat from this All-Star caliber talent.
Robert Wadlow's eyes are glassy. Usain Bolt mumbles 'we'll get them next time' without believing it. Tonight I chewed through two pens. The office supply budget is going to explode. Off to bed! Or stay for 'Real Housewives of the DMV.' The line is around the block.
Giornata 2 — vs Miami Heart-Attack
96-111 (S)
This big-name player Stephen Curry comes out firing! A tear drop in the first minute!
Usain Bolt penetrates but the shot rims out! Sometimes predictable game rears its ugly head!
Michael Phelps botches the handoff! Even their bare hands exchanges go smoother!
This multi-time All-Star Robert Wadlow caught ball-watching! Backdoor cut for an easy score!
Usain Bolt spins the ball beautifully for a thunderous slam! What touch!
Break! Robert Wadlow has left a puddle of sweat at every step through the tunnel. Anecdote: Robert Wadlow fell asleep on the bench during an exhibition game. Still got named MVP. The buzzer calls the players. Time for the show, act II.
Usain Bolt walks away muttering! Muttering about the i dati personali under their breath!
Stephen Curry, this All-Star caliber talent, pulls the trigger from mid-range but no luck!
Michael Phelps creates the switch! Smooth adjustment, nuotatore-level thinking!
Robert Wadlow is visibly tired! This bonafide star needs a timeout badly!
Michael Phelps pulls up past the media. This undisputed superstar not in the mood to talk.
Michael Phelps's face is locked shut, zero emotion. Usain Bolt hides his eyes under a towel. Yours truly held it together all evening without a bathroom break. That's professionalism. That's it for tonight. Coming up: 'Nailed It: Cakes Ruined by My Mother-in-Law.'
Giornata 3 — vs Orlando Magic-Beans
97-102 (S)
The game begins and Michael Jordan is ready! You can see natural-born leadership written all over his face!
Usain Bolt gets a clean look but limited stamina costs the bucket!
Michael Phelps, this combo guard, gets called for the carry! Sometimes predictable game in ball-handling!
Michael Phelps turns the head and loses the man! This basketball god napping defensively!
Robert Wadlow, this absolute unit, showcases a gym-rat work ethic with a gorgeous thunderous slam!
Both teams head in. Robert Wadlow has a red mark on his cheek from an elbow. Did you know? Robert Wadlow once signed an autograph for a referee. During the game. Mid free-throw. Second half! The hardwood is about to shake again.
This potential GOAT Usain Bolt shakes the head in disbelief! Nothing going right!
Usain Bolt, this 7-footer, can't finish from way beyond the arc! That one stings!
Stephen Curry lets fly to the right spot! Natural-born leadership off-ball movement!
Usain Bolt is gassed! More tired than after a full day of frantumaring the i dati personali!
Usain Bolt hangs their head! An atleta who gave everything they had!
Michael Phelps and Michael Jordan walk side by side without looking at each other. The silence is deafening. Meanwhile, your favorite commentator spilled coffee on the mixing board. Twice. Good night! Up next: 'America's Got Talent: Mouth Noises Edition.' The judges are baffled.
Giornata 4 — vs Philadelphia Injury-Report
99-106 (S)
Robert Wadlow, this big fella, is introduced and the arena explodes! This world-class player is in the building!
A fadeaway jumper from Michael Phelps catches the back rim and pops out! So close!
Usain Bolt trips up in the baseline! An atleta never trips at work... Right?
Michael Phelps watches them score! Just watching, like watching their bare hands gather dust!
Usain Bolt with the and-one finger roll! An off-the-charts basketball IQ through the whistle!
Well-deserved break. Michael Phelps looks like someone who just ran a marathon. Did you know Michael Phelps started basketball because he was terrible at soccer? Sometimes failure leads to greatness. We're back at it. The crowd had time to reload at the snack bar.
Michael Phelps, this certified GOAT candidate, yells at the coaching staff! Occasional mental lapses causing friction!
Stephen Curry fires an and-one at the buzzer but can't connect! Shaky emotions under pressure showing!
Robert Wadlow manipulates the defense! Manipulation worthy of their bare hands on the game!
Michael Phelps labors up the court! Trudging like a nuotatore dragging the game!
Robert Wadlow sits alone on the bench. This bonafide star processing the defeat.
Michael Phelps mutters 'damn' under his breath. Stephen Curry says 'yeah' in the same tone. During the third quarter, I spilled my soup. Yes, I had soup in the booth. Don't judge. Thanks for being here. Coming up: 'Forbidden Zone: Behind the Scenes of a Vending Machine.'
Giornata 5 — vs Phoenix No-Defense
92-126 (S)
Michael Phelps starts in the leader! Playing the leader way a nuotatore plays with their bare hands!
Michael Phelps bricks another one! Building something awful with their bare hands tonight!
Robert Wadlow throws it away! Injury-prone body under pressure from the right corner!
Robert Wadlow beaten off the dribble! Quicker than the game slipping from a circense!
Michael Phelps glares at the scoreboard! This hall-of-fame lock not happy with the situation!
Halftime whistle! Stephen Curry slides down against the hallway wall. Did you know Stephen Curry keeps a photo of his dog in his right shoe? It's a Bichon. We pick up right where we left off. Time to play.
Stephen Curry, this combo guard, gets the separation but can't finish! Tendency to rush!
Stephen Curry is cramping up! This established star trying to shake it off! Lack of consistency!
This generational talent Usain Bolt dribbles off the foot! Unforced error!
Usain Bolt slams the rock in frustration! Limited stamina on full display!
Usain Bolt walks the tunnel in silence! Done for the night, back to atleta life tomorrow!
Robert Wadlow avoids the cameras like the plague. Stephen Curry gets caught. Just says 'we'll be better'. On my end, I ate peanuts through the entire third quarter. Salt is my drug of choice. Until next time! Up next: 'Life Unplugged: A Day Without WiFi.' A shocking documentary.
Giornata 6 — vs Los Angeles Nursing-Home
87-117 (S)
Usain Bolt fires up the crowd to open the game! This household name starting strong!
Robert Wadlow sends it wide! Their bare hands wouldn't forgive that either!
This max-contract guy Stephen Curry gets pickpocketed at the top of the key! Sloppy handling!
Usain Bolt bites on the fake! Fooled like an atleta by counterfeit the i dati personali!
Michael Phelps, this absolute legend, drills another buzzer beater at the top of the key! Automatic!
Finally a breather. Robert Wadlow has calf cramps, the physio rushes over. Fun fact: Robert Wadlow tried to patent a celebration after a three-pointer. The application was rejected. The players emerge from the tunnel. Stern faces, clenched fists.
Michael Jordan drops the head after another miss! Defense that's basically a suggestion sapping the confidence!
This multi-time All-Star Robert Wadlow short-arms a devastating dunk under the basket! Not enough lift!
Michael Phelps adjusts the tempo! Controlling the rhythm like a veteran nuotatore!
Michael Jordan, this potential GOAT, is dragging! The allotted time minutes taking their toll!
Stephen Curry, this bonafide star, takes the loss hard. Shaky emotions under pressure at the wrong moments.
Michael Jordan snaps at the bench on his way out. Usain Bolt says nothing, but his look says everything. Tonight my voice traveled three octaves. Baritone to soprano. Basketball does that to you. Off to bed! Or stay for 'Real Housewives of the DMV.' The line is around the block.
Giornata 7 — vs Toronto Border-Patrol
104-102 (V)
This max-contract guy Robert Wadlow opens the scoring! A thunderous slam! Early advantage!
Michael Jordan with the suffocating defense! This hall-of-fame lock is a wall out there!
Michael Phelps misses the open look! A nuotatore never misses the game... But misses the orange!
Robert Wadlow scores in transition! Fast as a circense grabbing their bare hands!
Usain Bolt triggers the fast break! Launching the offense with atleta urgency!
Break. Robert Wadlow's socks are soaking wet — quick change on the spot. Small detail: Robert Wadlow whistles the national anthem before every game. Off-key. Consistently off-key. The players are back. The court had time to dry, at least.
Stephen Curry, this smooth operator, comes through when called upon! On the decisive possession! Star!
Usain Bolt times it perfectly and rejects the shot! A left-handed block off the pick and roll!
The jumbotron shows Robert Wadlow's circense highlight reel! What a career!
Michael Jordan with the dagger double-clutch layup! This certified GOAT candidate buries the opposition!
Michael Phelps waves goodbye to the field house! See you next time, from their bare hands to the damn ball!
Usain Bolt does a belly slide on the court. Stephen Curry does a back slide. The hardwood is ruined. Meanwhile, your favorite commentator spilled coffee on the mixing board. Twice. Good night! And now: 'Naked and Afraid: Lost in the Shopping Mall.'
Giornata 8 — vs Minnesota Ice-Wall
88-132 (S)
This established star Robert Wadlow catches the ball early and goes to work! Opening salvo!
Michael Phelps forces up a scoop layup over the defense! Tendency to rush! Bad decision!
Michael Jordan, this towering presence, telegraphs the pass! Intercepted under the basket!
Michael Phelps gets back-doored! Didn't see it, like not seeing the game behind their bare hands!
Michael Jordan, this certified GOAT candidate, barks at the teammate! Sometimes predictable game taking over!
Break. Robert Wadlow collapses next to the vending machine. Did you know Robert Wadlow once tried to start an ASMR podcast of sneaker squeaks on the hardwood? One episode. Deleted. Back to business. The players bounce around to warm up.
This elite player Stephen Curry shanks an off-balance shot driving to the hoop! That's uncharacteristic!
Usain Bolt gulps water! As thirsty as an atleta reaching for the i dati personali!
Stolen from Usain Bolt! An atleta who let it slip through their fingers!
Michael Phelps buries their face! Hidden from view, the nuotatore can't watch!
Michael Jordan had the chances but couldn't convert. This potential GOAT left wanting.
Usain Bolt hurls his mouthguard into the trash. Michael Phelps keeps his in, chewing on the frustration. I learned backstage that Michael Phelps also does nuotatore on weekends. That explains those reflexes. That was beautiful. And now: 'House Hunters International: 90-Square-Foot Studio, Wall View.' A steal.
Giornata 9 — vs Houston Blast-Off
86-107 (S)
Stephen Curry, this swiss-army-knife type, sets the tone immediately! Ridiculous creativity from the jump!
Brick! Michael Jordan misfires from the left corner! Shaky emotions under pressure at the worst time!
Michael Phelps tries to be too fancy and loses the damn ball! Heavy feet in the decision-making!
Michael Jordan, this absolute unit, can't keep up with the speed! Occasional mental lapses exposed!
Usain Bolt posts up and scores! A step-back three! This 7-footer is a problem!
Halftime. Michael Phelps wolfs down an energy bar in two bites. Bus driver's confession: Michael Phelps raps gibberish during road trips. Loudly. Second half! The hardwood is about to shake again.
This generational talent Michael Phelps stares at the ref! That look could freeze water!
Usain Bolt, this once-in-a-lifetime player, with the shot-clock heave! No good back to the basket!
Michael Jordan dishes to the weak side! This global icon exploiting the rotation!
Stephen Curry, this smooth operator, is moving in slow motion! Tank is empty!
Michael Jordan walks off in silence. This potential GOAT gave it all but it wasn't enough.
Michael Jordan mutters while walking out. Stephen Curry watches from the corner of his eye, worried. Your commentator broke his personal screaming record tonight. My throat is not thanking me. That's it for tonight. Coming up: 'True Confessions: I Put Ketchup on Pasta.'
Giornata 10 — vs Denver Horse-Track
103-119 (S)
Michael Phelps wins the opening tip! Tipping off with nuotatore energy!
Michael Jordan with the off-balance double-clutch layup! This once-in-a-lifetime player couldn't set the feet!
Michael Jordan goes to work the leather right to the defense! Costly mistake by this undisputed superstar!
Usain Bolt overcommits! Going all-in like an atleta on the i dati personali, but wrong!
Stephen Curry converts a tough euro-step under the basket! Skill level: elite!
Halftime. Usain Bolt is holding his ribs walking toward the tunnel. Did you know Usain Bolt entered the dunk contest... At 5'9"? Courage knows no height. Here we go. Tactical adjustments have been made.
Robert Wadlow slaps the floor in frustration! Slapping harder than a circense hits the workbench!
Robert Wadlow throws up a clunker! Their bare hands would weep at that trajectory!
Usain Bolt spaces the floor perfectly! Great read of the system!
Robert Wadlow drags their feet! Heavy as their bare hands at the end of a shift!
Stephen Curry, this All-Star caliber talent, will be back stronger. This defeat fuels the fire.
Usain Bolt's complexion is grey. Michael Phelps's is red. Defeat comes in different colors. On my end, I ate three chocolate bars during the timeouts. Sports make you hungry, even in the booth. That's all! Coming up: 'Hotel Hell: Airbnb With No Lock Edition.' Chills guaranteed.
Giornata 11 — vs New York Over-Timers
99-112 (S)
This all-time great Michael Jordan gets the crowd going early! The energy is building!
Michael Jordan with a wild attempt! This first-ballot legend not finding the range tonight!
Stephen Curry, this swiss-army-knife type, gets stripped from the right corner! Tendency to force bad shots exposed!
Robert Wadlow gets burned on the drive! Hot head in lateral movement!
Michael Jordan, this all-time great, sinks a bank shot with surgical precision on the low block!
Finally a breather. Stephen Curry has calf cramps, the physio rushes over. Intel: Stephen Curry asked New York Over-Timers for their energy drink recipe. They refused. We pick up right where we left off. Time to play.
Robert Wadlow, this titan, throws the hands up! Exasperated from mid-range!
A catch-and-shoot triple from Michael Jordan hits the iron! Sometimes predictable game under the spotlight!
Michael Jordan, this titan, posts up the smaller defender! Mismatch hunting!
Michael Jordan, this mammoth, laboring up and down! Sometimes predictable game draining the energy!
This certified bucket Stephen Curry shakes hands and moves on. In the end, hot head proved costly.
Usain Bolt's lip is trembling. Robert Wadlow dodges the cameras by pulling up his hood. As for me, I powered through three coffees and a gas station sandwich. The glamorous life of sports journalism. See you tomorrow! Up next: 'Extreme Reading: The Terms and Conditions.' 4-hour special.
Giornata 12 — vs Cleveland Twin-Towers
77-122 (S)
Usain Bolt sets the tone early! The atleta came to play tonight!
Usain Bolt can't buy a bucket! Another miss from mid-range! Frustrating!
Michael Phelps with the careless pass! Competing the game with more care, please!
Robert Wadlow, this tower, loses the assignment! Easy bucket over ego the size of Texas!
Stephen Curry, this all-around player, sits down hard on the bench! Lack of consistency written all over his face!
The players disappear. Robert Wadlow has a makeshift neck brace out of a towel. Did you know Robert Wadlow plays better when it's raining outside? Even indoors. Go figure. The tunnel spits the players out. The war resumes.
A hook shot from Usain Bolt goes in and out! Heartbreaking on the low block!
Usain Bolt is running on fumes! The atleta tank is completely empty!
Robert Wadlow loses the ball! A circense would never be this careless!
Usain Bolt tugs at their jersey! Frustrated, but the atleta will bounce back!
Usain Bolt lets fly to the tunnel in disappointment. This first-ballot legend will learn from this.
Michael Jordan sits down on the hardwood, head on his knees. Stephen Curry puts a hand on his shoulder without saying a word. I tried to take a selfie with the court in the background. My thumb is over the lens. Off to bed! Or stay for 'Real Housewives of the DMV.' The line is around the block.
Giornata 13 — vs Boston Ring-Chasers
84-108 (S)
And we're underway! Michael Jordan touches the leather first! This hall-of-fame lock looks eager!
Usain Bolt whiffs on the jumper! An atleta off their game with the blocchi di partenza!
This elite player Robert Wadlow commits the offensive foul! Turnover at half court!
Michael Jordan gambles for the steal and pays the price! Occasional mental lapses!
Michael Phelps knocks down a hook shot driving to the hoop! Ice in the veins!
Halftime. Michael Phelps wolfs down an energy bar in two bites. Did you know Michael Phelps started basketball because he was terrible at soccer? Sometimes failure leads to greatness. Let's go. The arena rumbles, the players answer.
Robert Wadlow can't hide the frustration! Their bare hands frustration meets the orange frustration!
Usain Bolt misses badly! Should have aimed like they aim the blocchi di partenza at the i dati personali!
Michael Phelps sets the screen at the perfect angle! This all-time great cerebral play!
Michael Phelps can barely run! The contest harder than the contest of competing the game!
This reliable star Stephen Curry tips the hat to the winner. Respect despite the pain.
Michael Phelps taps the tunnel wall as if trying to pass through it. Stephen Curry walks through the door without pushing it. Tonight I nearly had a heart attack at least four times. And I'm just the commentator. Thanks everyone! Up next: 'Ice Road Truckers: Uber Eats Delivery on a Rainy Night.'
Giornata 14 — vs San Antonio Skyscrapers
90-134 (S)
Tip-off! Michael Jordan gets us started! Let's go!
Michael Phelps misfires on the low block! Even this undisputed superstar has off nights!
Robert Wadlow loses possession! The game never leaves a circense's hands like that!
Robert Wadlow scrambles but can't close out! Open look given up! Occasional mental lapses!
This world-class player Stephen Curry gets into it with the opponent! Tempers flaring!
Halftime whistle. Robert Wadlow flops into the first available chair. Word is Robert Wadlow sleeps with his basketball shoes on. I can't confirm it, but the source is reliable. The players emerge from the tunnel. Stern faces, clenched fists.
Michael Phelps can't buy a bucket! Maybe the game would be easier to aim!
Stephen Curry takes off but can't sustain the effort! Lack of consistency emptying the tank!
Michael Phelps with the bad read! Misreading the play like misreading the game!
Robert Wadlow argues with the ref! The same passion they bring to competing the game!
Michael Phelps tells reporters: 'Tomorrow we competes better, like the game!'
Usain Bolt collapses into the first available chair. Michael Jordan stays standing, eyes glazed over. Tonight my colleague told me I smell like stress. I told him it was my cologne. That's all for tonight. And now: 'Deadliest Catch: Rush Hour on the Beltway.' Documentary.
Giornata 15 — vs Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest
92-120 (S)
Usain Bolt steps onto the den! From frantumaring the i dati personali to this, game time!
Stephen Curry, this established star, comes up empty! A bank shot off target in the paint!
Usain Bolt with the lazy pass! Tendency to force bad shots leading to easy points!
Robert Wadlow gets screened out of the play! This All-Star caliber talent lost in traffic!
Usain Bolt with a step-back three off the pick! Using screens better than most pros!
The players file out. Michael Phelps exchanges a tense look with the coach. Intel: Michael Phelps asked Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest for their energy drink recipe. They refused. Act two! The bench players are fired up, the starters too.
Michael Jordan, this hall-of-fame lock, refuses to high-five! Lack of consistency hurting the chemistry!
Robert Wadlow, this towering presence, wastes a golden chance with a wild reverse layup!
Michael Phelps makes the hockey pass! Freakish explosiveness finding the extra pass!
Robert Wadlow bends over, hands on knees! Exhausted like a circense after their bare hands overtime!
Robert Wadlow leaves the gym with dignity! The dignity of a circense with their bare hands!
Usain Bolt watches the crowd file out in silence. Michael Jordan prefers not to look. Evening confession: I'm wearing Usain Bolt's jersey under my shirt. For morale. We're packing up. Time for the late-night feature: 'Unsolved Mysteries: Where Is My Left Sock.'
My Team finishes #16 (1W-14L). Better luck next season! MVP: Michael Jordan.
Diario di stagione
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