My dream starting five — basketball_team 🇨🇳
5 members · by 陆颜卿 · TeamBranch
赛季日志
积分榜
| # | Team | 胜 | 负 | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Detroit Engine-Roar | 15 | 0 | 30 |
| 2 | San Antonio Skyscrapers | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 3 | New York Over-Timers | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 4 | Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 5 | Boston Ring-Chasers | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 6 | Cleveland Twin-Towers | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 7 | Houston Blast-Off | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 8 | Denver Horse-Track | 7 | 8 | 14 |
| 9 | My Team | 7 | 8 | 14 |
| 10 | Los Angeles Nursing-Home | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 11 | Toronto Border-Patrol | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 12 | Minnesota Ice-Wall | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 13 | Orlando Magic-Beans | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 14 | Philadelphia Injury-Report | 2 | 13 | 4 |
| 15 | Phoenix No-Defense | 2 | 13 | 4 |
| 16 | Miami Heart-Attack | 2 | 13 | 4 |
季前赛
Get comfortable because tonight, we are about to witness something special. I can feel it. It's in the air, it's in the eyes, it's in the low rumble of 20,000 people who know they're about to live through a moment. The franchise about to step onto this court has seen it all, lived it all: legendary triple-doubles, buzzer-beating heartbreaks, 15-point fourth-quarter comebacks, and losses that shatter careers. But they're here, still and always, with that burning desire to tear everything apart. The team with no name, baby! Yeah sure, it's a team sport, we all agree on that. But when you've got Michael Jordan on your roster, the word "team" basically means him plus four guys who pass him the ball. Standing at 198 cm, a first step more explosive than a rocket launch, and a fadeaway so silky that even the defenders applaud as they watch him score. Scouts had this dude flagged at 14. By 16, he was beating pros. Today? He's embarrassing them. But what truly terrifies opponents isn't his highlights, it's his head. Look into his eyes during crunch time. There's nothing there. No stress, no doubt, just a killer's stare that says "give me the ball and get the hell out of the way." Opposing coaches have tried double-teams, triple-teams, zone defense, trash talk, Hack-a-Shaq... Nothing works. The man is programmed for clutch moments. It's genetic, and there's not a damn thing anyone can do about it. The budget, let's talk about it. Or actually, let's not, because it'll make you dizzy. We're beyond the luxury tax, beyond the second apron, we're in a zone that even the league's tax accountants struggle to calculate. The owner burns cash like others burn firewood, and he doesn't bat an eye. Every season this team doesn't win the title is a financial scandal. The pressure is absolute, the talent is maximal, and the margin for error is zero. Welcome to the world of superteams, where failure isn't an option, it's a public humiliation.
比赛日 1 — vs Detroit Engine-Roar
86-131 (负)
Tip-off! 科比·布莱恩特 gets us started! Let's go!
Michael Jordan forces up a double-clutch layup over the defense! Shaky emotions under pressure! Bad decision!
科比·布莱恩特 throws it into the stands! What was that from this undisputed superstar!
Yi Jianlian reacts too late to rotate! Hot head on the help side!
Yi Jianlian mouths off and picks up a T! Limited stamina taking over!
Break! 科比·布莱恩特 grabs an ice bag and slaps it on his knee. Did you know 科比·布莱恩特 started basketball because he was terrible at soccer? Sometimes failure leads to greatness. Both teams return with fresh instructions from the coach.
Jason Williams misfires from the left corner! This name that's buzzing searching for answers!
This name that's buzzing Yi Jianlian has heavy legs! The pace has been brutal!
This name that's buzzing Yi Jianlian with turnover number points! Shaky emotions under pressure is piling up!
Jason Williams storms to the bench! This player on the come-up is visibly upset!
Yi Jianlian reflects on what could have been. Tendency to force bad shots the difference tonight.
科比·布莱恩特's gaze is cold, distant. Michael Jordan's gaze is hot, angry. I spent this game nervously chewing gum. I'm on my seventh piece. Off to bed! Or stay for 'Real Housewives of the DMV.' The line is around the block.
比赛日 2 — vs Miami Heart-Attack
128-96 (胜)
Michael Jordan, this basketball god, draws first blood! An alley-oop to start!
Jason Williams goes coast to coast for a step-back three! This solid pro is relentless!
科比·布莱恩特 with the help-side brilliant anticipation! This absolute legend always in position!
Yi Jianlian with the transition assist! This up-and-coming baller pushing the pace with pure God-given talent!
This legit talent Yi Jianlian switches defensive assignments on the fly! Next-level basketball IQ!
First half is done. Yi Jianlian is chugging Gatorade like it's water. The staff told me Yi Jianlian sings in the shower. Badly. Very badly. We're back! Flushed cheeks and hungry eyes on the players.
This name that's buzzing Jason Williams is automatic along the baseline! A free throw drops again!
You can feel a hostile crowd through the screen! 科比·布莱恩特 in the spotlight!
Jason Williams attacks the pick-and-roll to perfection! Chemistry on display!
德安德魯·艾頓 dribbles like a player possessed! Silky smooth technique unleashed!
德安德魯·艾頓, this next-level player, with the post-game interview smile! An off-the-charts basketball IQ all night!
Yi Jianlian blows a kiss to the camera. Jason Williams blows twelve. Michael Jordan blocks the lens. Yours truly survived this game without losing his voice. It was touch and go. That's it for tonight. Coming up: 'True Confessions: I Put Ketchup on Pasta.'
比赛日 3 — vs Orlando Magic-Beans
92-100 (负)
This seasoned vet 德安德魯·艾頓 comes out aggressive! Opens with a fadeaway jumper from the left corner!
This well-respected player 德安德魯·艾頓 with a rare miss from downtown! Even the best stumble!
This player making noise Jason Williams with a careless turnover! Gift-wrapped for the opponent!
This league veteran Jason Williams gives up the offensive rebound! Injury-prone body when boxing out!
Michael Jordan knocks down a fadeaway jumper driving to the hoop! Ice in the veins!
Break. Michael Jordan asks the medical staff for coffee. Request denied. They say Michael Jordan eats honey straight from the jar during timeouts. The bear of the hardwood. We resume. Eyes locked in, jaws clenched.
Yi Jianlian goes to work and kicks the stanchion! This name that's buzzing losing composure!
This first-ballot legend 科比·布莱恩特 misses the mark! A pull-up jumper goes begging from the left corner!
德安德魯·艾頓 reads the defense perfectly! A gym-rat work ethic and a sky-high basketball IQ!
德安德魯·艾頓 is gassed! This up-and-coming baller bent over at half court! Shaky emotions under pressure catching up!
科比·布莱恩特 had the chances but couldn't convert. This basketball god left wanting.
Jason Williams clenches his left fist, unclenches, clenches again. Michael Jordan fidgets with his wristband nervously. On my end, I ate three chocolate bars during the timeouts. Sports make you hungry, even in the booth. See you tomorrow. In the meantime, it's 'Who Wants to Marry My Goldfish.' Good luck with that.
比赛日 4 — vs Philadelphia Injury-Report
115-94 (胜)
Michael Jordan steps back onto the floor! The crowd roars for this household name!
This guy with a proven track record 德安德魯·艾頓 does it again! A bucket with effortless precision!
This all-time great 科比·布莱恩特 with the weak-side rebound in traffic! Incredible help!
Jason Williams, this tweener, runs the offense with next-level basketball IQ! Beautiful passing!
Michael Jordan spaces the floor perfectly! Great read of the system!
End of the second quarter. Jason Williams is breathing so loud you can hear it from here. Little secret: Jason Williams listens to Celine Dion to focus. I repeat, Celine Dion. Back to business. The players bounce around to warm up.
德安德魯·艾頓, this league veteran, drops a half-court heave facing the rim! Pure artistry!
德安德魯·艾頓, this little firecracker, gets the standing ovation! A crowd fully behind them!
Jason Williams puts ego aside! The team comes first for this well-respected player!
Yi Jianlian, this dude putting the league on notice, answers every challenge! That dawg mentality never fading!
德安德魯·艾頓, this undersized dog, takes the final bow! A hug with the coach! Dominant display!
德安德魯·艾頓 cries tears of joy in Yi Jianlian's arms. Michael Jordan is also crying but nobody knows why. While you were watching the game, I was desperately searching for my pen. Still haven't found it. Until next time! Up next: 'Kitchen Nightmares: Corporate Cafeteria.' This is gonna be good.
比赛日 5 — vs Phoenix No-Defense
121-94 (胜)
Yi Jianlian, this giant, takes the court! The standing ovation is electric!
Yi Jianlian, this tower, uses every inch to deliver a floater!
Michael Jordan, this giant, contests everything in the paint! Pure God-given talent on full display!
德安德魯·艾頓 with the outlet pass! Coast-to-coast assist! That dawg mentality on that one!
Michael Jordan, this guy with rings on every finger, draws the double team and finds the open man! High IQ!
Halftime! Michael Jordan looks in the mirror and shakes his head. Did you know Michael Jordan keeps a photo of his dog in his right shoe? It's a Bichon. Back on the hardwood. The tension has gone up a notch.
科比·布莱恩特, this guy with rings on every finger, knifes through for a buzzer beater from mid-range! Wow!
Deafening noise! Jason Williams dribbles and the building shakes!
This household name Michael Jordan unites the locker room! Silky smooth technique captain's mentality!
Michael Jordan, this absolute unit, is on a mission! Nothing can stop this undisputed superstar right now!
科比·布莱恩特, this hall-of-fame lock, embraces the teammates! A finger to the lips to hush the crowd! Sweet victory!
科比·布莱恩特 pretends to faint from happiness. 德安德魯·艾頓 pretends to call 911. Tonight I chewed through two pens. The office supply budget is going to explode. That's all! Coming up: 'Hotel Hell: Airbnb With No Lock Edition.' Chills guaranteed.
比赛日 6 — vs Los Angeles Nursing-Home
118-98 (胜)
Michael Jordan, this 7-footer, sets the tone immediately! Natural-born leadership from the jump!
科比·布莱恩特 pulls up the ball with purpose! A deep three! This potential GOAT means business!
Jason Williams digs in defensively! Nerves of steel when the team needs stops!
This dude putting the league on notice Yi Jianlian creates for others! Unselfish play with a killer instinct!
Yi Jianlian, this 7-footer, exploits the mismatch at the buzzer! Smart play!
Halftime! 科比·布莱恩特 walks barefoot on the cold tunnel tiles. Did you know 科比·布莱恩特 started basketball because he was terrible at soccer? Sometimes failure leads to greatness. Jump ball to restart. Let the second half begin!
德安德魯·艾頓 dribbles and fires a tear drop! This little firecracker lighting it up!
科比·布莱恩特, this mountain of a man, gestures for more noise! The crowd goes nuts!
德安德魯·艾頓 sacrifices the body taking the charge! This next-level player ultimate teammate!
Yi Jianlian, this titan, embodies the spirit of competition! What a show!
科比·布莱恩特 pumps the fist as the buzzer goes! This guy with rings on every finger savors the win!
Yi Jianlian jumps so high from joy he nearly touches the scoreboard. Almost. Confession: I nearly fell asleep during the second quarter. The third woke me right up. Thanks everyone! Up next: 'Ice Road Truckers: Uber Eats Delivery on a Rainy Night.'
比赛日 7 — vs Toronto Border-Patrol
119-86 (胜)
This basketball god Michael Jordan in the starting lineup! Let's see what this basketball god brings!
德安德魯·艾頓 explodes the Spalding with flair and hits a layup! Sensational!
Yi Jianlian with the no-look pass! This hooper's hooper has eyes in the back of the head!
This first-ballot legend Michael Jordan with a vintage sky hook! The old magic is still there!
Michael Jordan, this guy with rings on every finger, shuts down the play in the paint! Lockdown defender!
Halftime! Jason Williams is limping slightly heading off the court. Confession: Jason Williams calls mom after every loss. And every win. And also on Tuesdays. The arena lights up, the players are back. Game on.
Michael Jordan with the tough layup through contact! This first-ballot legend won't be denied!
德安德魯·艾頓 piles it on! A bucket extends the lead! No mercy tonight!
Yi Jianlian asks the scorer's table for the score! This established player forgot!
Yi Jianlian throws the finger guns at the crowd! A salute to the fans after a thunderous slam!
Yi Jianlian fades away into the tunnel with the W! This respected competitor all smiles!
德安德魯·艾頓 and Yi Jianlian pound their chests like gorillas. The coach pretends not to know them. Tonight I chewed through two pens. The office supply budget is going to explode. We're done here. Up next: 'Top Chef: Microwave Edition.' Bon appetit.
比赛日 8 — vs Minnesota Ice-Wall
112-98 (胜)
Yi Jianlian looks dialed in from the start! A killer instinct preparation showing!
科比·布莱恩特 dishes and scores! A deep three! This 7-footer is a problem!
科比·布莱恩特 with the chase-down ball recovery! What athleticism!
This legit talent Yi Jianlian finds the open man! Assist and a bank shot!
德安德魯·艾頓 crosses over the ball out of the trap! Eyes in the back of the head under pressure!
Halftime. 德安德魯·艾頓 is holding his ribs walking toward the tunnel. Little scoop: 德安德魯·艾頓 logs every game in a notebook. With stars and smiley faces. At that age. The players emerge from the tunnel. Stern faces, clenched fists.
Yi Jianlian answers back with a deep three! Next-level basketball IQ under pressure!
This up-and-coming baller Jason Williams turns the hostile crowd into stunned silence!
科比·布莱恩特, this mammoth, boxes out for the teammate! This potential GOAT doing the dirty work!
科比·布莱恩特 dunks into the record books! This all-time great making memories!
德安德魯·艾頓, this short king, carries the team to victory! MVP-level performance!
Yi Jianlian does a belly slide on the court. 科比·布莱恩特 does a back slide. The hardwood is ruined. Confession: I nearly fell asleep during the second quarter. The third woke me right up. Good night! And now, 'The Bachelor: Stray Cat Edition.' Who will find love in this dumpster?
比赛日 9 — vs Houston Blast-Off
107-116 (负)
科比·布莱恩特 takes the floor with that look in his eyes! He came to play tonight!
德安德魯·艾頓 with a rough hook shot at the top of the key! Lack of consistency at the worst time!
This dude putting the league on notice Yi Jianlian commits the 5-second violation! Clock management injury-prone body!
Michael Jordan gambles for the steal and pays the price! Lack of consistency!
Yi Jianlian with iron discipline finds the angle for a floater!
Halftime whistle! Jason Williams grabs a towel and collapses on the bench. Intel: Jason Williams once called an imaginary timeout in the middle of a game. The ref actually hesitated. The players are back on the court. Here we go again!
Michael Jordan slams the Wilson in frustration! Sometimes predictable game on full display!
A deep three attempt by 科比·布莱恩特 falls short! Lack of consistency in the legs!
This potential GOAT Michael Jordan attacks the closeout! Driving past the over-eager defender!
This league veteran Jason Williams is a warrior but the body says no! The 48 regulation minutes of war!
科比·布莱恩特 sits alone on the bench. This hall-of-fame lock processing the defeat.
科比·布莱恩特 clenches his left fist, unclenches, clenches again. Yi Jianlian fidgets with his wristband nervously. During the game, I got a text from my mom: 'Stop yelling, I can hear you from here.' She lives 120 miles away. Off to bed! Or stay for 'Real Housewives of the DMV.' The line is around the block.
比赛日 10 — vs Denver Horse-Track
119-93 (胜)
德安德魯·艾頓, this hooper's hooper, wins the opening tip! Great start for the team!
德安德魯·艾頓 catches fire! And it's a buzzer beater! Nerves of steel taking over!
科比·布莱恩特, this tree of a man, recovers and contests! Never-give-up effort fueled by night-in night-out consistency!
This once-in-a-lifetime player 科比·布莱恩特 with the wraparound pass! How did that get through!
Michael Jordan, this global icon, orchestrates the delay game! Nerves of steel in action!
Halftime! 科比·布莱恩特 walks barefoot on the cold tunnel tiles. Intel: 科比·布莱恩特 asked Denver Horse-Track for their energy drink recipe. They refused. Tipoff! The ref blows the whistle, the ball is in the air.
科比·布莱恩特, this tree of a man, rises above and hammers an alley-oop!
科比·布莱恩特 explodes and the crowd chants the name! Listen to that noise!
Jason Williams, this do-it-all player, sets the perfect screen! Eyes in the back of the head for the team!
This once-in-a-lifetime player 科比·布莱恩特 channels the inner champion! Next-level basketball IQ at its peak!
That's the game! 德安德魯·艾頓 finishes with a monster performance! This up-and-coming baller victorious!
Jason Williams hugs the mascot. Michael Jordan hugs the referee. Awkward. I spent the evening explaining basketball rules to my new intern. He still thinks you can walk with the ball. That's all for tonight. And now: 'Deadliest Catch: Rush Hour on the Beltway.' Documentary.
比赛日 11 — vs New York Over-Timers
99-103 (负)
This established player Jason Williams opens the scoring! A free throw! Early advantage!
Jason Williams with an incredible thunderous slam from downtown! Standing ovation!
科比·布莱恩特 turns the head and loses the man! This undisputed superstar napping defensively!
科比·布莱恩特, this long boy, gets stuffed trying a fadeaway jumper! Denied!
科比·布莱恩特, this 7-footer, refuses to die! A reverse layup keeps the dream alive!
Well-deserved break. Yi Jianlian looks like someone who just ran a marathon. Little scoop: Yi Jianlian tried to bribe the DJ to play his song. The DJ agreed. Nobody liked it. We're off again! The crowd chants the team's name.
德安德魯·艾頓, this little guy, forces a bad shot in the extra period! Tendency to force bad shots!
This certified GOAT candidate Michael Jordan can't believe the call! Arguing with the ref!
德安德魯·艾頓, this up-and-coming baller, has been building to this all game! At the last second!
科比·布莱恩特, this all-time great, misses the potential game-winner! Limited stamina!
This living legend Michael Jordan stares at the scoreboard. Not the outcome this living legend wanted.
Yi Jianlian walks head down toward the tunnel. Michael Jordan drags his feet behind, shoulders slumped. During the break, I tried doing crunches behind the console. My back remembers. Off to bed! Or stay for 'Real Housewives of the DMV.' The line is around the block.
比赛日 12 — vs Cleveland Twin-Towers
97-115 (负)
And we're underway! Jason Williams touches the basketball first! This solid pro looks eager!
德安德魯·艾頓 forces a buzzer beater at the top of the key! This seasoned vet trying too hard!
Yi Jianlian with the lazy pass! Tendency to force bad shots leading to easy points!
德安德魯·艾頓, this scrappy guard, gets exploited in the switch! Lack of consistency exposed in the mismatch!
This established player Jason Williams finishes with authority! A layup off the pick and roll!
Finally a breather. Michael Jordan has calf cramps, the physio rushes over. I've been told Michael Jordan always puts his left shoe on first. The one day he switched, gave up 40 points. Resetting the counters for this second half. Well, not really.
Yi Jianlian dribbles the towel! This respected competitor showing limited stamina!
科比·布莱恩特 with the off-balance thunderous slam! This franchise cornerstone couldn't set the feet!
This basketball god Michael Jordan runs the pick-and-pop to perfection! Tactical mastery!
科比·布莱恩特 takes off but the legs won't cooperate! Hot head catching up!
Jason Williams penetrates to the tunnel in disappointment. This hooper's hooper will learn from this.
Yi Jianlian's brow is furrowed, lips pressed thin. 科比·布莱恩特 breathes through his nose, hard, steady, trying to calm down. Behind the scenes, the cameraman told me I was making faces during free throws. I had no idea. We're done here. Up next: 'Top Chef: Microwave Edition.' Bon appetit.
比赛日 13 — vs Boston Ring-Chasers
84-114 (负)
This certified GOAT candidate 科比·布莱恩特 catches the Spalding early and goes to work! Opening salvo!
Michael Jordan forces a bad scoop layup! This undisputed superstar needs to trust teammates!
德安德魯·艾頓 fires away the damn ball right to the defense! Costly mistake by this well-respected player!
德安德魯·艾頓 overcommits and gets beat! Hot head when reading the play!
Jason Williams glares at the scoreboard! This league veteran not happy with the situation!
Halftime whistle! Michael Jordan grabs a towel and collapses on the bench. Anecdote of the day: Michael Jordan forgot his shorts on the last road trip. Played in borrowed shorts two sizes too big. The players emerge from the tunnel. Stern faces, clenched fists.
Yi Jianlian, this mammoth, double-clutches and misses! Indecision from this seasoned vet!
Michael Jordan, this tree of a man, with tired legs from the right corner! Hot head slowing this potential GOAT down!
This up-and-coming baller 德安德魯·艾頓 gets pickpocketed at the buzzer! Sloppy handling!
Yi Jianlian, this guy with a proven track record, refuses to high-five! Heavy feet hurting the chemistry!
Yi Jianlian, this long boy, trudges off the temple of basketball. Lessons to take from this one.
Jason Williams walks head down toward the tunnel. 德安德魯·艾頓 drags his feet behind, shoulders slumped. My evening in summary: yell, drink coffee, yell again, spill the coffee, yell some more. Thanks for tonight. Up next: 'American Ninja Warrior: No Elevator Edition.' Sixth floor, no landing.
比赛日 14 — vs San Antonio Skyscrapers
101-119 (负)
科比·布莱恩特, this colossus, announced to huge cheers! An incredible energy!
A euro-step from 科比·布莱恩特 hits the iron! Limited stamina under the spotlight!
Jason Williams, this combo guard, gets stripped at the top of the key! Injury-prone body exposed!
Yi Jianlian gets burned on the drive! Occasional mental lapses in lateral movement!
This hooper's hooper 德安德魯·艾頓 with a beautiful tear drop off the pick and roll! Poetry in motion!
Well-deserved break. 德安德魯·艾頓 looks like someone who just ran a marathon. Anecdote of the day: 德安德魯·艾頓 forgot his shorts on the last road trip. Played in borrowed shorts two sizes too big. Alright, it's time. The second half waits for no one.
德安德魯·艾頓, this solid pro, barks at the teammate! Defense that's basically a suggestion taking over!
Michael Jordan fires a buzzer beater off the pick and roll but can't connect! Tendency to force bad shots showing!
This first-ballot legend Michael Jordan recognizes the zone and attacks the gap! Genius!
科比·布莱恩特 misses from fatigue! This first-ballot legend can't get the elevation from the left corner!
This league veteran Jason Williams congratulates the opponent. Class in defeat from this league veteran.
德安德魯·艾頓 punches his locker when he gets to the locker room. Yi Jianlian slides down the wall to the floor. Tonight I yelled so loud the guy in the next booth asked me to keep it down. Mid-game. That's a wrap for tonight. Coming up: 'The Amazing Race: Subway Line 13.' Viewer discretion advised.
比赛日 15 — vs Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest
101-113 (负)
德安德魯·艾頓 takes off with energy from the opening whistle! This established player locked in!
This living legend 科比·布莱恩特 whiffs on an off-balance shot! The crowd groans!
Michael Jordan with a wild pass that sails out! This undisputed superstar giving it away!
德安德魯·艾頓 loses the screen battle! Defense that's basically a suggestion around the picks!
科比·布莱恩特 scores at will! A reverse layup facing the rim! This living legend domination!
Time to breathe. Jason Williams has both hands on both knees, completely cooked. I've been told Jason Williams always puts his left shoe on first. The one day he switched, gave up 40 points. The show goes on. Players take position. Silence. Whistle.
德安德魯·艾頓, this respected competitor, with the frustrated foul! Ego the size of Texas in tough moments!
Yi Jianlian, this player making noise, fumbles the finish at the top of the key! Back to the drawing board!
科比·布莱恩特, this hall-of-fame lock, times the cut perfectly! Backdoor for a layup!
This all-time great 科比·布莱恩特 calls for a sub! Can't go anymore! Lack of consistency taking its toll!
德安德魯·艾頓, this legit talent, takes the loss hard. Limited stamina at the wrong moments.
Yi Jianlian is the last one off the court, shoulders hunched. 科比·布莱恩特 waits at the tunnel entrance. My evening in one word? Epic. In two words? Epic and loud. That's all! Coming up: 'Hotel Hell: Airbnb With No Lock Edition.' Chills guaranteed.
My Team ends the season #9 with a 7W-8L record. Season MVP: Michael Jordan.
Season journal
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