Mijn ideale starting five — basketball_team 🇳🇱
5 leden · TeamBranch
Seizoensjournaal
Klassement
| # | Team | W | V | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Detroit Engine-Roar | 15 | 0 | 30 |
| 2 | Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest | 14 | 1 | 28 |
| 3 | San Antonio Skyscrapers | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 4 | Boston Ring-Chasers | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 5 | Cleveland Twin-Towers | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 6 | Toronto Border-Patrol | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 7 | New York Over-Timers | 7 | 8 | 14 |
| 8 | Denver Horse-Track | 7 | 8 | 14 |
| 9 | Houston Blast-Off | 7 | 8 | 14 |
| 10 | Minnesota Ice-Wall | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 11 | Los Angeles Nursing-Home | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 12 | Orlando Magic-Beans | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 13 | Miami Heart-Attack | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 14 | Phoenix No-Defense | 3 | 12 | 6 |
| 15 | My Team | 1 | 14 | 2 |
| 16 | Philadelphia Injury-Report | 1 | 14 | 2 |
Voorseizoen
Shut the hell up for two seconds and listen to that sound. That low rumble, that murmur of 20,000 people holding their breath at the same time. That's the sound of an arena that knows tonight is going to be something. We're here for a franchise that's in the DNA of this league, a club with as many banners in the rafters as ghosts in the locker room. Legends have walked this court, careers have been shattered here, and miracles have been born on this very floor. Tonight, we write the next chapter. The team with no name, baby! The real reason this building is at capacity? It's him. Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. The man. The beast. Standing at 218 cm, and not an ounce of fat, all lean muscle and raw talent. This dude was put on Earth to play basketball, there's no other explanation. Watch him move on the court and it's like watching a predator in the savanna: every movement is calculated, every step is perfect, and when he decides to strike, it's already too late for the defender. Nature built a monster, and we're lucky enough to watch him play tonight. And the most terrifying thing about him? It's not the stats, it's not the size, it's the calm. You know that moment where the arena is on its feet, the clock is ticking down the final seconds, sweat is pouring... And he's just chewing his gum like he's waiting for the bus? Then he loads up. And drains it. Stone cold. In front of 20,000 people on the verge of cardiac arrest. That's what a franchise player is: the guy who carries everyone on his shoulders and still makes it look easy. And here it is, ladies and gentlemen, the cherry on top, the plot twist nobody saw coming: the coach recruited Arya Stark. An amateur. To play professional basketball. I'll repeat for the people in the back: an amateur, with bare hands, on an NBA hardwood. The guy showed up at his first practice asking where the locker rooms were... And went the wrong way. Twice. But the coach swears on everything holy that Arya Stark has "something." We don't know what exactly, but he has "something." In the meantime, the guy runs around like a headless chicken, confuses the game with the basketball, and has already racked up three technical fouls for trying to negotiate with the referee. Now we're talking real money. They're above the cap but being careful not to cross into luxury tax territory. They're using their trade exceptions and mid-level to plug the gaps. This is a playoff-caliber team: they've got the goods, a balanced roster, but they're always one big move short of landing a true superstar.
Speeldag 1 — vs Detroit Engine-Roar
90-111 (V)
LeBron James, this titan, sets the tone immediately! Freakish explosiveness from the jump!
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, this giant, gets the look in the paint but the lid's on the rim!
Stolen from Jezus Christus! A messias who let it slip through their fingers!
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar gets burned on the drive! Limited stamina in lateral movement!
Jezus Christus, this global icon, absolutely nails a bank shot at the top of the key! Take a bow!
Halftime whistle. LeBron James has dried blood on his elbow but plays tough. Little scoop: LeBron James tried to bribe the DJ to play his song. The DJ agreed. Nobody liked it. Both teams retake the floor. The best may be yet to come.
This franchise cornerstone LeBron James fouls hard out of frustration! Ego the size of Texas showing!
A floater by Donald Trump facing the rim is way off! Tough night for this first-ballot legend!
This basketball god LeBron James uses the floater over this colossus coverage! Smart!
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, this undisputed superstar, with the tired turnover! Legs and mind fatigued!
This hidden prospect Arya Stark stares at the scoreboard. Not the outcome this hidden prospect wanted.
Jezus Christus looks like someone who hasn't slept in three days. Donald Trump looks like someone who won't sleep tonight. As for me, I powered through three coffees and a gas station sandwich. The glamorous life of sports journalism. That's all! Coming up: 'Hotel Hell: Airbnb With No Lock Edition.' Chills guaranteed.
Speeldag 2 — vs Miami Heart-Attack
101-109 (V)
Jezus Christus, this guy with rings on every finger, draws first blood! A step-back three to start!
Jezus Christus launches from deep and misses! A messias's range doesn't apply here!
This all-time great Donald Trump forces a pass into double coverage! Picked off!
Donald Trump, this all-around player, fouls unnecessarily from way beyond the arc! Sometimes predictable game!
This dark horse Arya Stark converts at the top of the key! A two-handed slam right on cue!
The players head to the locker room. Arya Stark is sweating like a racehorse. Little scoop: Arya Stark tried to bribe the DJ to play his song. The DJ agreed. Nobody liked it. Back on the floor, faces full of determination.
Jezus Christus gets a technical for complaining! Tendency to force bad shots on full display!
Donald Trump misses the free throw! Financierenning the het volgende avontuur under pressure is easier!
Donald Trump reads the defense perfectly! Night-in night-out consistency and a sky-high basketball IQ!
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar misses from fatigue! This hall-of-fame lock can't get the elevation in transition!
This basketball god LeBron James tips the hat to the winner. Respect despite the pain.
LeBron James takes off his shoes and carries them like a ghost. Donald Trump follows the same path. I learned that LeBron James's father was a volunteer firefighter. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Good night! And now, 'The Bachelor: Stray Cat Edition.' Who will find love in this dumpster?
Speeldag 3 — vs Orlando Magic-Beans
98-114 (V)
This once-in-a-lifetime player Donald Trump comes out firing! A layup in the first minute!
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar can't buy a bucket! Another miss facing the rim! Frustrating!
LeBron James charges right into the defender! Turnover! Lack of consistency when controlling pace!
Arya Stark, this combo guard, lets the shooter get free at the top of the key! Costly lapse!
LeBron James, this long boy, uses every inch to deliver a reverse layup!
The players leave the court. Kareem Abdul-Jabbar clings to the tunnel railing. True story: Kareem Abdul-Jabbar walked into the wrong locker room during his first game against Orlando Magic-Beans. Awkward. Back on the court. The coach changed the starting five, that'll be a surprise.
LeBron James posts up the towel! This guy with rings on every finger showing tendency to rush!
LeBron James, this guy with rings on every finger, sends the basketball wide! The touch is off tonight!
Jezus Christus finds the angle! The angle messias uses for the game!
Donald Trump bends over during the dead ball! This hall-of-fame lock gathering what's left!
Jezus Christus packs up and heads out! Packing their bare hands, unpacking emotions!
Arya Stark sits on the bench, staring into nothing. Donald Trump has his head in his hands. Behind the scenes, I learned Donald Trump was also a volunteer firefighter in a past life. You can feel it in the game. Good night everyone! Coming up: 'Boot Camp: Supermarket Checkout Line Edition.' Discipline.
Speeldag 4 — vs Philadelphia Injury-Report
112-105 (W)
Jezus Christus steps onto the palace of hoops! From competing the game to this, game time!
What a play by Kareem Abdul-Jabbar! An and-one at the top of the key! This all-time great is cooking!
Donald Trump forces the turnover! Pressuring like financierenning the het volgende avontuur under deadline!
This potential GOAT Kareem Abdul-Jabbar with the behind-the-back dish! Highlight-reel pass!
Jezus Christus with the decoy run! Diverting attention, classic messias misdirection!
Halftime. Arya Stark throws his towel on the floor walking in. They say Arya Stark eats honey straight from the jar during timeouts. The bear of the hardwood. The locker room empties, the court fills up. Act 2.
Arya Stark, this guy nobody was talking about, knifes through for a half-court heave from the right corner! Wow!
Deafening noise! Kareem Abdul-Jabbar blows past and the building shakes!
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, this giant, anchors the second unit! This first-ballot legend versatile contributor!
The story of Donald Trump: an investeerder by morning, a baller by night. The het volgende avontuur would be proud!
This basketball god LeBron James caps off a special night! A primal scream! Until next time!
Jezus Christus does a backflip. Well, he tries. Kareem Abdul-Jabbar applauds the effort. I discovered tonight that my mic was off for three minutes. Three minutes of pure genius, lost forever. Good night everyone! Coming up: 'Boot Camp: Supermarket Checkout Line Edition.' Discipline.
Speeldag 5 — vs Phoenix No-Defense
102-107 (V)
Donald Trump bounces the rock pre-game! Getting that rhythm going!
A euro-step by Arya Stark! The building is rocking! This who-is-this-guy player takeover!
This generational talent LeBron James fouls reaching in! Injury-prone body on defense!
Donald Trump can't score in the fourth quarter! This investeerder is way off tonight!
Donald Trump delivers under pressure! Pressure-tested by the hun portfolioregister at work!
The locker room. Kareem Abdul-Jabbar sprawls out full-length on the bench. Fun fact: Kareem Abdul-Jabbar is unbeatable at arm wrestling in the locker room. Even the center is scared. Resumption imminent. The players wrap up their express warm-up.
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, this big fella, forces a bad shot in the extra period! Injury-prone body!
This household name Kareem Abdul-Jabbar can't believe the call! Arguing with the ref!
Arya Stark, this diamond in the rough, has been building to this all game! After a timeout!
Donald Trump, this franchise cornerstone, commits the late turnover! Defense that's basically a suggestion with the ball!
Arya Stark posts up past the media. This player nobody saw coming not in the mood to talk.
Arya Stark walks head down toward the tunnel. Donald Trump drags his feet behind, shoulders slumped. I spent the fourth quarter standing. Not by choice. My chair gave out in the third. This was your favorite commentator. Coming up: 'Extreme Makeover: Garage Edition.' Don't change the channel. Or do.
Speeldag 6 — vs Los Angeles Nursing-Home
91-102 (V)
This potential GOAT Donald Trump in the starting lineup! Let's see what this potential GOAT brings!
A sky hook from Donald Trump catches the back rim and pops out! So close!
This total unknown Arya Stark with turnover number buckets! Ego the size of Texas is piling up!
Jezus Christus overcommits and gets beat! Sometimes predictable game when reading the play!
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, this generational talent, reads the play perfectly and delivers a floater!
Back to the locker room. Kareem Abdul-Jabbar's shorts are torn but he couldn't care less. Physio's confession: Kareem Abdul-Jabbar purrs when you massage his calves. Like a cat. A big cat. Back for seconds. The court is shining, and so are the players.
This first-ballot legend LeBron James hangs the head after the miss! Deflated from mid-range!
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar fires a hook shot from the right corner but can't connect! Shaky emotions under pressure showing!
Donald Trump triggers the fast break! Launching the offense with investeerder urgency!
This potential GOAT Kareem Abdul-Jabbar can't close out! The legs are shot off the pick and roll!
Donald Trump looks at the scoreboard one last time! Numbers don't lie for an investeerder!
Donald Trump mutters 'damn' under his breath. Jezus Christus says 'yeah' in the same tone. On my end, I ate three chocolate bars during the timeouts. Sports make you hungry, even in the booth. Thanks for tonight. Up next: 'American Ninja Warrior: No Elevator Edition.' Sixth floor, no landing.
Speeldag 7 — vs Toronto Border-Patrol
80-125 (V)
Donald Trump opens with a step-back three! This undisputed superstar making an early statement!
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, this generational talent, comes up empty! A buzzer-beater off target along the baseline!
LeBron James throws it into the stands! What was that from this living legend!
Arya Stark gives up the back door! Shaky emotions under pressure when overplaying!
Donald Trump tugs at their jersey! Frustrated, but the investeerder will bounce back!
End of the second quarter. Kareem Abdul-Jabbar is breathing so loud you can hear it from here. Did you know? Kareem Abdul-Jabbar tried to become a rapper before basketball. The world dodged a bullet. We're back at it. The crowd had time to reload at the snack bar.
This potential GOAT Kareem Abdul-Jabbar shanks a hook shot driving to the hoop! That's uncharacteristic!
This potential breakout star Arya Stark calls for a sub! Can't go anymore! Sometimes predictable game taking its toll!
This player nobody saw coming Arya Stark commits the 5-second violation! Clock management tendency to force bad shots!
LeBron James, this beanpole, throws the hands up! Exasperated off the pick and roll!
This global icon Kareem Abdul-Jabbar shakes hands and moves on. In the end, lack of consistency proved costly.
LeBron James taps the tunnel wall as if trying to pass through it. Donald Trump walks through the door without pushing it. On my end, I ate peanuts through the entire third quarter. Salt is my drug of choice. Thanks for being here. Now put down the remote, it's time for 'Wheel of Misfortune.'
Speeldag 8 — vs Minnesota Ice-Wall
89-104 (V)
Tip-off! Arya Stark gets us started! Let's go!
LeBron James gets a clean look but shaky emotions under pressure costs the bucket!
LeBron James, this long boy, telegraphs the pass! Intercepted off the pick and roll!
Arya Stark gets caught flat-footed! This hungry young player beaten to the spot!
Donald Trump with the decisive catch-and-shoot triple! Eyes in the back of the head when it matters most!
Break. Kareem Abdul-Jabbar's socks are soaking wet — quick change on the spot. Did you know Kareem Abdul-Jabbar started basketball because he was terrible at soccer? Sometimes failure leads to greatness. The tunnel spits the players out. The war resumes.
LeBron James picks up the second technical! This absolute legend ejected! Heavy feet!
LeBron James, this mountain of a man, wastes a golden chance with a wild double-clutch layup!
LeBron James, this oversized freak, positions perfectly for the offensive rebound! An unmatched feel for the game!
This undisputed superstar LeBron James has heavy legs! The pace has been brutal!
Jezus Christus shakes hands through the pain! A messias who respects their bare hands and the game!
Donald Trump snaps at the bench on his way out. Arya Stark says nothing, but his look says everything. I spent my evening screaming into a microphone, and honestly, I'd do it all over again. That's it for tonight. Coming up: 'Nailed It: Cakes Ruined by My Mother-in-Law.'
Speeldag 9 — vs Houston Blast-Off
80-123 (V)
And we're underway! Arya Stark touches the Spalding first! This total unknown looks eager!
A bucket attempt by Arya Stark falls short! Tendency to force bad shots in the legs!
Jezus Christus blows past into a trap! Ego the size of Texas when reading the defense!
Arya Stark gets crossed over! This who-is-this-guy player left frozen from the right corner!
Arya Stark slams the damn ball in frustration! Heavy feet on full display!
The players leave the court. Donald Trump clings to the tunnel railing. True story: Donald Trump walked into the wrong locker room during his first game against Houston Blast-Off. Awkward. Let's go. The arena rumbles, the players answer.
Donald Trump misfires from way beyond the arc! The hun portfolioregister calibration needed!
Jezus Christus labors up the court! Trudging like a messias dragging the game!
Donald Trump trips up in the baseline! An investeerder never trips at work... Right?
Arya Stark drives angrily after the turnover! This player nobody saw coming spiraling!
Arya Stark dunks to the tunnel in disappointment. This surprise package will learn from this.
LeBron James bites the inside of his cheek. Jezus Christus pinches the bridge of his nose. Confession: I bet against my favorite team tonight. Superstition. It works half the time. Thanks for tonight. And now: '60 Minutes: The Secrets of the Office Coffee Machine.'
Speeldag 10 — vs Denver Horse-Track
86-108 (V)
Arya Stark takes the floor with that look in his eyes! He came to play tonight!
LeBron James attacks the basketball into the front rim! That's frustrating for this basketball god!
Jezus Christus with the careless pass! Competing the game with more care, please!
Donald Trump gets blown by! Even an investeerder couldn't stop that!
A euro-step from Kareem Abdul-Jabbar! That's natural-born leadership at the highest level!
Back in the locker room, LeBron James sits down and stares at the ceiling. Did you know LeBron James plays better when it's raining outside? Even indoors. Go figure. Play resumes! The coach set a few things straight in the locker room.
Jezus Christus can't mask the disappointment! This first-ballot legend wearing it on the sleeve!
Donald Trump fires a brick driving to the hoop! Way off, even for an investeerder!
Arya Stark, this surprise package, orchestrates the delay game! Pure God-given talent in action!
Donald Trump soldiers on! The soldier who financierens the het volgende avontuur with the hun portfolioregister!
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, this colossus, trudges off the temple of basketball. Lessons to take from this one.
Jezus Christus stares at his hands like he doesn't recognize them. Donald Trump exhales. Again. And again. During halftime, I tried to interview the mascot. It ignored me. I'll recover eventually. Good evening! Up next: 'Criminal Minds: Finding the Colleague Who Steals Yogurt from the Fridge.'
Speeldag 11 — vs New York Over-Timers
89-117 (V)
Jezus Christus locks eyes with the opponent! The stare of a messias who means business!
This undisputed superstar LeBron James short-arms a sky hook facing the rim! Not enough lift!
Jezus Christus with the travel! Footwork confusion worthy of a lost messias!
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar reacts too late to rotate! Shaky emotions under pressure on the help side!
This absolute legend LeBron James does it again! A tear drop with effortless precision!
Rest time. Kareem Abdul-Jabbar isolates in a corner of the locker room, headphones on. Anecdote: Kareem Abdul-Jabbar lost a bet and had to wear the center's shoes during warm-ups. Size 16. The players come back running. Did someone set the locker room on fire?
LeBron James storms to the bench! This certified GOAT candidate is visibly upset!
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar blows past and fires but misses everything! Injury-prone body tonight!
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar penetrates to the right spot! Ridiculous creativity off-ball movement!
Donald Trump calls for the sub! Even an investeerder's stamina with the hun portfolioregister has limits!
This once-in-a-lifetime player LeBron James leaves the arena with head held high. Fought to the end.
Jezus Christus's eyes are glassy. LeBron James mumbles 'we'll get them next time' without believing it. During the timeout, I tried to do pull-ups on the edge of the broadcast booth. Zero. We're packing up. Time for the late-night feature: 'Unsolved Mysteries: Where Is My Left Sock.'
Speeldag 12 — vs Cleveland Twin-Towers
89-134 (V)
LeBron James posts up with energy from the opening whistle! This all-time great locked in!
Brick! Kareem Abdul-Jabbar misfires from way beyond the arc! Defense that's basically a suggestion at the worst time!
Arya Stark loses the rock in traffic! This newcomer can't afford that!
This all-time great Donald Trump caught ball-watching! Backdoor cut for an easy score!
Jezus Christus mouths off on a clutch free throw! A messias venting about the game!
First half is done. Arya Stark is chugging Gatorade like it's water. Small detail: Arya Stark whistles the national anthem before every game. Off-key. Consistently off-key. The players are back. The court had time to dry, at least.
Donald Trump bricks it! Not the same accuracy as financierenning the het volgende avontuur!
LeBron James, this long boy, is drenched in sweat! Emptying the tank!
Jezus Christus dispossessed! Couldn't hold on, not the messias's finest moment!
Donald Trump shakes their head! An investeerder who can't believe that just happened!
Donald Trump tells reporters: 'Tomorrow we financierens better, like the het volgende avontuur!'
Arya Stark sighs so loudly that the reporters hear it. Donald Trump winces. During the game, my colleague ordered sushi. It arrived at the final buzzer. Perfect timing. That's a wrap! Coming up: 'American Idol: Accountant Edition.' Singing, dancing, and spreadsheets.
Speeldag 13 — vs Boston Ring-Chasers
84-116 (V)
Opening possession for Donald Trump! First touch, like first touch of the hun portfolioregister!
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, this towering presence, gets stuffed trying a sky hook! Denied!
Arya Stark coughs up the leather! Tendency to force bad shots strikes again facing the rim!
This first-ballot legend Kareem Abdul-Jabbar can't recover! Scored on at the buzzer! Tendency to force bad shots!
Donald Trump storms to the bench! Heated! This investeerder doesn't handle losing well!
The locker room fills up. Kareem Abdul-Jabbar has already eaten three oranges. Fun fact: Kareem Abdul-Jabbar blocked a shot in the finals... And dislocated a thumb celebrating. Classic. Tipoff! The ref blows the whistle, the ball is in the air.
Jezus Christus denied by the basket! Even a messias can't pry it open!
Jezus Christus, this household name, making mistakes from exhaustion! The body is failing!
LeBron James, this towering presence, gets the ball poked away! Lack of consistency when protecting the damn ball!
This all-time great Jezus Christus throws an elbow in frustration! Lack of consistency on full display!
Jezus Christus had the chances but couldn't convert. This first-ballot legend left wanting.
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar clenches his left fist, unclenches, clenches again. Arya Stark fidgets with his wristband nervously. During halftime, I tried to interview the mascot. It ignored me. I'll recover eventually. That's a wrap! Coming up: 'American Idol: Accountant Edition.' Singing, dancing, and spreadsheets.
Speeldag 14 — vs San Antonio Skyscrapers
76-120 (V)
LeBron James posts up onto the floor! The crowd roars for this all-time great!
This global icon LeBron James throws up a prayer from way beyond the arc! Not answered!
Donald Trump pulls up carelessly and gets stripped! Another giveaway!
This global icon Kareem Abdul-Jabbar commits the and-one foul! Ego the size of Texas in positioning!
Donald Trump, this solid build, pounds the scorer's table! Tendency to rush on full display!
The players file out. Arya Stark exchanges a tense look with the coach. Fun fact: Arya Stark tried to patent a celebration after a three-pointer. The application was rejected. Let's go, we're back. The crowd claps in rhythm.
This basketball god Kareem Abdul-Jabbar puts up a hook shot but it won't fall! Off night!
Jezus Christus leans on their knees! Gassed, but the messias keeps going!
Arya Stark, this tweener, gets stripped from downtown! Tendency to force bad shots exposed!
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar mouths off and picks up a T! Heavy feet taking over!
LeBron James reflects on what could have been. Hot head the difference tonight.
Donald Trump refuses to watch the replay on the jumbotron. Jezus Christus watches it and immediately regrets it. I spent this entire evening standing because my chair has been broken for three games. Nobody fixes it. Thanks for the game! And now, tonight's feature film: 'Fast and Furious 47: The Quest for a Parking Spot.'
Speeldag 15 — vs Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest
76-115 (V)
This all-time great LeBron James comes out aggressive! Opens with a devastating dunk on the low block!
This newcomer Arya Stark whiffs on a scoop layup! The crowd groans!
Donald Trump throws it away! A pass worse than an investeerder tossing the het volgende avontuur!
LeBron James, this mountain of a man, can't keep up with the speed! Lack of consistency exposed!
LeBron James, this oversized freak, waves off the play call! Injury-prone body hurting the team!
Finally a breather. Donald Trump has calf cramps, the physio rushes over. Did you know Donald Trump started basketball because he was terrible at soccer? Sometimes failure leads to greatness. Back on the court. The coach changed the starting five, that'll be a surprise.
Jezus Christus, this all-around player, draws the foul but can't capitalize! Tendency to force bad shots!
Jezus Christus waves for a timeout! The messias needs the game break!
LeBron James with the lazy pass! Tendency to force bad shots leading to easy points!
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar goes to work and kicks the stanchion! This all-time great losing composure!
Arya Stark sits alone on the bench. This hungry young player processing the defeat.
Arya Stark clenches his left fist, unclenches, clenches again. Donald Trump fidgets with his wristband nervously. Yours truly held it together all evening without a bathroom break. That's professionalism. See you at the next game! In the meantime: 'Pawn Stars: Selling a Pen Without a Cap.'
My Team finishes #15 (1W-14L). Better luck next season! MVP: Kareem Abdul-Jabbar.
Season journal
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