My dream starting five — basketball_team 🇳🇿
5 members · TeamBranch
Season Journal
Standings
| # | Team | W | L | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Detroit Engine-Roar | 15 | 0 | 30 |
| 2 | Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest | 13 | 2 | 26 |
| 3 | Boston Ring-Chasers | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 4 | San Antonio Skyscrapers | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 5 | Cleveland Twin-Towers | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 6 | New York Over-Timers | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 7 | Houston Blast-Off | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 8 | My Team | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 9 | Denver Horse-Track | 7 | 8 | 14 |
| 10 | Minnesota Ice-Wall | 7 | 8 | 14 |
| 11 | Los Angeles Nursing-Home | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 12 | Toronto Border-Patrol | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 13 | Orlando Magic-Beans | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 14 | Phoenix No-Defense | 3 | 12 | 6 |
| 15 | Philadelphia Injury-Report | 3 | 12 | 6 |
| 16 | Miami Heart-Attack | 2 | 13 | 4 |
Pre-season
Get comfortable because tonight, we are about to witness something special. I can feel it. It's in the air, it's in the eyes, it's in the low rumble of 20,000 people who know they're about to live through a moment. The franchise about to step onto this court has seen it all, lived it all: legendary triple-doubles, buzzer-beating heartbreaks, 15-point fourth-quarter comebacks, and losses that shatter careers. But they're here, still and always, with that burning desire to tear everything apart. The team with no name, baby! Yeah sure, it's a team sport, we all agree on that. But when you've got Victor Wembanyama on your roster, the word "team" basically means him plus four guys who pass him the ball. Standing at 224 cm, a first step more explosive than a rocket launch, and a fadeaway so silky that even the defenders applaud as they watch him score. Scouts had this dude flagged at 14. By 16, he was beating pros. Today? He's embarrassing them. But what truly terrifies opponents isn't his highlights, it's his head. Look into his eyes during crunch time. There's nothing there. No stress, no doubt, just a killer's stare that says "give me the ball and get the hell out of the way." Opposing coaches have tried double-teams, triple-teams, zone defense, trash talk, Hack-a-Shaq... Nothing works. The man is programmed for clutch moments. It's genetic, and there's not a damn thing anyone can do about it. The budget, let's talk about it. Or actually, let's not, because it'll make you dizzy. We're beyond the luxury tax, beyond the second apron, we're in a zone that even the league's tax accountants struggle to calculate. The owner burns cash like others burn firewood, and he doesn't bat an eye. Every season this team doesn't win the title is a financial scandal. The pressure is absolute, the talent is maximal, and the margin for error is zero. Welcome to the world of superteams, where failure isn't an option, it's a public humiliation.
Matchday 1 — vs Detroit Engine-Roar
86-131 (L)
Tip-off! Kawhi Leonard gets us started! Let's go!
Kingston Flemings forces up a double-clutch layup over the defense! Shaky emotions under pressure! Bad decision!
Kawhi Leonard throws it into the stands! What was that from this player on the come-up!
Bol Bol reacts too late to rotate! Hot head on the help side!
Bol Bol mouths off and picks up a T! Limited stamina taking over!
Break! Kawhi Leonard grabs an ice bag and slaps it on his knee. Did you know Kawhi Leonard started basketball because he was terrible at soccer? Sometimes failure leads to greatness. Both teams return with fresh instructions from the coach.
Chris Paul misfires from the left corner! This jersey-selling name searching for answers!
This name that's buzzing Bol Bol has heavy legs! The pace has been brutal!
This name that's buzzing Bol Bol with turnover number points! Shaky emotions under pressure is piling up!
Chris Paul storms to the bench! This headliner is visibly upset!
Bol Bol reflects on what could have been. Tendency to force bad shots the difference tonight.
Kawhi Leonard's gaze is cold, distant. Kingston Flemings's gaze is hot, angry. I spent this game nervously chewing gum. I'm on my seventh piece. Off to bed! Or stay for 'Real Housewives of the DMV.' The line is around the block.
Matchday 2 — vs Miami Heart-Attack
121-103 (W)
Kingston Flemings, this surprise package, draws first blood! An alley-oop to start!
Chris Paul goes coast to coast for a step-back three! This world-class player is relentless!
Kawhi Leonard with the help-side brilliant anticipation! This name that's buzzing always in position!
Bol Bol with the transition assist! This up-and-coming baller pushing the pace with pure God-given talent!
This legit talent Bol Bol switches defensive assignments on the fly! Next-level basketball IQ!
First half is done. Bol Bol is chugging Gatorade like it's water. The staff told me Bol Bol sings in the shower. Badly. Very badly. We're back! Flushed cheeks and hungry eyes on the players.
This jersey-selling name Chris Paul is automatic along the baseline! A free throw drops again!
You can feel a hostile crowd through the screen! Kawhi Leonard in the spotlight!
Chris Paul attacks the pick-and-roll to perfection! Chemistry on display!
Victor Wembanyama dribbles like a player possessed! Silky smooth technique unleashed!
Victor Wembanyama, this next-level player, with the post-game interview smile! An off-the-charts basketball IQ all night!
Bol Bol blows a kiss to the camera. Chris Paul blows twelve. Kingston Flemings blocks the lens. Yours truly survived this game without losing his voice. It was touch and go. That's it for tonight. Coming up: 'True Confessions: I Put Ketchup on Pasta.'
Matchday 3 — vs Orlando Magic-Beans
86-106 (L)
This seasoned vet Victor Wembanyama comes out aggressive! Opens with a fadeaway jumper from the left corner!
This well-respected player Victor Wembanyama with a rare miss from downtown! Even the best stumble!
This established star Chris Paul with a careless turnover! Gift-wrapped for the opponent!
This franchise guy Chris Paul gives up the offensive rebound! Injury-prone body when boxing out!
Kingston Flemings knocks down a fadeaway jumper driving to the hoop! Ice in the veins!
Break. Kingston Flemings asks the medical staff for coffee. Request denied. They say Kingston Flemings eats honey straight from the jar during timeouts. The bear of the hardwood. We resume. Eyes locked in, jaws clenched.
Bol Bol goes to work and kicks the stanchion! This name that's buzzing losing composure!
This up-and-coming baller Kawhi Leonard misses the mark! A pull-up jumper goes begging from the left corner!
Victor Wembanyama reads the defense perfectly! A gym-rat work ethic and a sky-high basketball IQ!
Victor Wembanyama is gassed! This up-and-coming baller bent over at half court! Shaky emotions under pressure catching up!
Kawhi Leonard had the chances but couldn't convert. This league veteran left wanting.
Chris Paul clenches his left fist, unclenches, clenches again. Kingston Flemings fidgets with his wristband nervously. On my end, I ate three chocolate bars during the timeouts. Sports make you hungry, even in the booth. See you tomorrow. In the meantime, it's 'Who Wants to Marry My Goldfish.' Good luck with that.
Matchday 4 — vs Philadelphia Injury-Report
109-100 (W)
Kingston Flemings steps back onto the floor! The crowd roars for this rising star!
This guy with a proven track record Victor Wembanyama does it again! A bucket with effortless precision!
This solid pro Kawhi Leonard with the weak-side rebound in traffic! Incredible help!
Chris Paul, this tweener, runs the offense with next-level basketball IQ! Beautiful passing!
Kingston Flemings spaces the floor perfectly! Great read of the system!
End of the second quarter. Chris Paul is breathing so loud you can hear it from here. Little secret: Chris Paul listens to Celine Dion to focus. I repeat, Celine Dion. Back to business. The players bounce around to warm up.
Victor Wembanyama, this league veteran, drops a half-court heave facing the rim! Pure artistry!
Victor Wembanyama, this tree of a man, gets the standing ovation! A crowd fully behind them!
Chris Paul puts ego aside! The team comes first for this All-Star caliber talent!
Bol Bol, this dude putting the league on notice, answers every challenge! That dawg mentality never fading!
Victor Wembanyama, this big fella, takes the final bow! A hug with the coach! Dominant display!
Victor Wembanyama cries tears of joy in Bol Bol's arms. Kingston Flemings is also crying but nobody knows why. While you were watching the game, I was desperately searching for my pen. Still haven't found it. Until next time! Up next: 'Kitchen Nightmares: Corporate Cafeteria.' This is gonna be good.
Matchday 5 — vs Phoenix No-Defense
115-100 (W)
Bol Bol, this little guy, takes the court! The standing ovation is electric!
Bol Bol, this compact dynamo, uses every inch to deliver a floater!
Kingston Flemings, this versatile guy, contests everything in the paint! Pure God-given talent on full display!
Victor Wembanyama with the outlet pass! Coast-to-coast assist! That dawg mentality on that one!
Kingston Flemings, this hungry young player, draws the double team and finds the open man! High IQ!
Halftime! Kingston Flemings looks in the mirror and shakes his head. Did you know Kingston Flemings keeps a photo of his dog in his right shoe? It's a Bichon. Back on the hardwood. The tension has gone up a notch.
Kawhi Leonard, this player making noise, knifes through for a buzzer beater from mid-range! Wow!
Deafening noise! Chris Paul dribbles and the building shakes!
This rising star Kingston Flemings unites the locker room! Silky smooth technique captain's mentality!
Kingston Flemings, this do-it-all player, is on a mission! Nothing can stop this total unknown right now!
Kawhi Leonard, this legit talent, embraces the teammates! A finger to the lips to hush the crowd! Sweet victory!
Kawhi Leonard pretends to faint from happiness. Victor Wembanyama pretends to call 911. Tonight I chewed through two pens. The office supply budget is going to explode. That's all! Coming up: 'Hotel Hell: Airbnb With No Lock Edition.' Chills guaranteed.
Matchday 6 — vs Los Angeles Nursing-Home
111-105 (W)
Kingston Flemings, this combo guard, sets the tone immediately! Natural-born leadership from the jump!
Kawhi Leonard pulls up the ball with purpose! A deep three! This next-level player means business!
Chris Paul digs in defensively! Nerves of steel when the team needs stops!
This dude putting the league on notice Bol Bol creates for others! Unselfish play with a killer instinct!
Bol Bol, this small but mighty player, exploits the mismatch at the buzzer! Smart play!
Halftime! Kawhi Leonard walks barefoot on the cold tunnel tiles. Did you know Kawhi Leonard started basketball because he was terrible at soccer? Sometimes failure leads to greatness. Jump ball to restart. Let the second half begin!
Victor Wembanyama dribbles and fires a tear drop! This tree of a man lighting it up!
Kawhi Leonard, this mountain of a man, gestures for more noise! The crowd goes nuts!
Victor Wembanyama sacrifices the body taking the charge! This next-level player ultimate teammate!
Bol Bol, this short king, embodies the spirit of competition! What a show!
Kawhi Leonard pumps the fist as the buzzer goes! This player making noise savors the win!
Bol Bol jumps so high from joy he nearly touches the scoreboard. Almost. Confession: I nearly fell asleep during the second quarter. The third woke me right up. Thanks everyone! Up next: 'Ice Road Truckers: Uber Eats Delivery on a Rainy Night.'
Matchday 7 — vs Toronto Border-Patrol
112-93 (W)
This surprise package Kingston Flemings in the starting lineup! Let's see what this surprise package brings!
Victor Wembanyama explodes the Spalding with flair and hits a layup! Sensational!
Bol Bol with the suffocating defense! This player making noise is a wall out there!
Victor Wembanyama dribbles and dishes! Gorgeous feed at the buzzer! Natural-born leadership!
Kawhi Leonard, this beanpole, sets a brick-wall screen! Insane court vision on full display!
Halftime! Kawhi Leonard has the hardwood pattern imprinted on his elbow. Quick anecdote about Kawhi Leonard: apparently he eats pasta with ketchup before every game. To each their own ritual. Both teams emerge from the tunnel. The second half can begin.
Victor Wembanyama strings together a tear drop under the basket. Natural-born leadership on full display!
You can cut the tension with a knife! A Playoff atmosphere as Kawhi Leonard steps up!
This dude putting the league on notice Kawhi Leonard claps for the rookie! Encouragement from this dude putting the league on notice!
This solid pro Bol Bol is the heartbeat of this team! A moment of truth leadership!
This jersey-selling name Chris Paul wraps up a sensational performance! Victory is sweet!
Victor Wembanyama does a handstand. Bol Bol holds him by the feet. The crowd holds its breath. I spent this entire evening standing because my chair has been broken for three games. Nobody fixes it. That's it for tonight. Coming up: 'True Confessions: I Put Ketchup on Pasta.'
Matchday 8 — vs Minnesota Ice-Wall
85-108 (L)
This big-name player Chris Paul opens the scoring! A pull-up jumper! Early advantage!
An off-balance shot attempt by Kingston Flemings falls short! Tendency to force bad shots in the legs!
Kingston Flemings with a wild pass that sails out! This total unknown giving it away!
This unknown gem Kingston Flemings misjudges the passing lane! Easy assist through!
This guy with a proven track record Bol Bol converts facing the rim! A bank shot right on cue!
The players disappear. Kawhi Leonard has a makeshift neck brace out of a towel. Bus driver's confession: Kawhi Leonard raps gibberish during road trips. Loudly. We resume. Eyes locked in, jaws clenched.
Victor Wembanyama, this player making noise, barks at the teammate! Heavy feet taking over!
Kawhi Leonard launches but it's well off! Hot head under fatigue!
This up-and-coming baller Victor Wembanyama sets the back screen! Pure God-given talent off-ball contribution!
Kingston Flemings is cramping up! This hungry young player trying to shake it off! Shaky emotions under pressure!
This dude putting the league on notice Victor Wembanyama congratulates the opponent. Class in defeat from this dude putting the league on notice.
Chris Paul takes a sip of water and spits it right back out. Bol Bol doesn't drink. Throat too tight. On my end, the AC in the booth broke down. I sweated more than Bol Bol. We're packing up. Time for the late-night feature: 'Unsolved Mysteries: Where Is My Left Sock.'
Matchday 9 — vs Houston Blast-Off
91-104 (L)
Kingston Flemings opens with a pull-up jumper! This dude out of nowhere making an early statement!
Kingston Flemings, this rising star, sends the pill wide! The touch is off tonight!
Victor Wembanyama throws it away! Heavy feet under pressure from the left corner!
Victor Wembanyama gets caught flat-footed! This established player beaten to the spot!
Kawhi Leonard dishes through traffic and scores! Incredible finish!
Halftime whistle. Victor Wembanyama has dried blood on his elbow but plays tough. Confession: Victor Wembanyama tried yoga. Lasted two sessions before declaring it a combat sport. The players are back. Some look fresh, others... Not so much.
Kawhi Leonard dunks the towel! This name that's buzzing showing heavy feet!
Victor Wembanyama penetrates and fires but misses everything! Hot head tonight!
Kawhi Leonard dunks into the right spacing! Freakish explosiveness and elite court awareness!
Kingston Flemings, this raw talent, is dragging! The allotted time minutes taking their toll!
Victor Wembanyama walks off in silence. This hooper's hooper gave it all but it wasn't enough.
Chris Paul chews his nails on the bench. Kingston Flemings stares at his shoes like they're the source of the problem. Tonight I yelled so loud the guy in the next booth asked me to keep it down. Mid-game. Thanks for the game! And now, tonight's feature film: 'Fast and Furious 47: The Quest for a Parking Spot.'
Matchday 10 — vs Denver Horse-Track
97-95 (W)
This player on the come-up Victor Wembanyama means business! Fast start in transition!
Kawhi Leonard sprints to close out! A double team from way beyond the arc! Great effort!
Bol Bol dunks the Wilson but it won't fall! Cold streak continues!
Bol Bol, this seasoned vet, reads the play perfectly and delivers an and-one!
Victor Wembanyama, this guy with a proven track record, orchestrates the delay game! Scary good handles in action!
Well-deserved break. Victor Wembanyama looks like someone who just ran a marathon. Did you know? Victor Wembanyama has a personal mini-fridge in the locker room. Nobody knows what's inside. Here they come. Fresh as daisies. Or not. We'll find out soon enough.
This up-and-coming baller Victor Wembanyama won't let the team lose! A two-handed slam in the extra period!
Kingston Flemings, this solid build, with the clutch defensive rebound! The crowd is on its feet!
Bol Bol, this guy with a proven track record, waves the crowd up! A standing ovation rising!
Kingston Flemings drives for the game-tying euro-step! At the last second! Unbelievable!
Chris Paul tosses the basketball in the air! A team high-five! This elite player mission accomplished!
Chris Paul and Kingston Flemings attempt an elaborate handshake. They miss three times. Victor Wembanyama films the whole thing. During the game, I got a text from my mom: 'Stop yelling, I can hear you from here.' She lives 120 miles away. See you tomorrow! Up next: 'Extreme Reading: The Terms and Conditions.' 4-hour special.
Matchday 11 — vs New York Over-Timers
102-94 (W)
Chris Paul, this certified bucket, embraces the palpable tension! Game on!
Victor Wembanyama, this tree of a man, rises above and hammers a pull-up jumper!
Bol Bol, this established player, walls up off the pick and roll! Impenetrable defense!
This dark horse Kingston Flemings turns the corner and finds the open man! Unselfish!
This diamond in the rough Kingston Flemings runs the pick-and-pop to perfection! Tactical mastery!
Break! Kawhi Leonard heads straight to the bathroom moment he hits the locker room. Locker room anecdote: Kawhi Leonard talks to a sock called 'Assistant Coach.' We don't judge. The buzzer calls the players. Time for the show, act II.
Kingston Flemings catches fire! And it's a buzzer-beater! Eyes in the back of the head taking over!
An electric crowd fills the arena! This seasoned vet Kawhi Leonard feeds off the energy!
Bol Bol, this scrappy guard, sets the perfect screen! Natural-born leadership for the team!
Chris Paul, this multi-time All-Star, has the intangibles! An off-the-charts basketball IQ beyond the stats!
Kawhi Leonard daps up the opponent! Respect from this established player after the battle!
Chris Paul does the robot at center court while Kingston Flemings pretends to be an airplane. The crowd loves it. Tonight I nearly had a heart attack at least four times. And I'm just the commentator. We're done here. Up next: 'Top Chef: Microwave Edition.' Bon appetit.
Matchday 12 — vs Cleveland Twin-Towers
100-105 (L)
Chris Paul, this swiss-army-knife type, is introduced and the arena explodes! This All-Star caliber talent is in the building!
This respected competitor Victor Wembanyama with a picture-perfect two-handed slam! The crowd goes wild!
Kingston Flemings bites on the pump fake! This hidden prospect sent flying from downtown!
A catch-and-shoot triple from Bol Bol catches the back rim and pops out! So close!
Kawhi Leonard fades away with desperation and skill! This league veteran not done yet!
Finally a breather. Victor Wembanyama has calf cramps, the physio rushes over. Bus driver's confession: Victor Wembanyama raps gibberish during road trips. Loudly. Here we go. Tactical adjustments have been made.
Kawhi Leonard can't hit the go-ahead! Injury-prone body when the lights are brightest!
This up-and-coming baller Victor Wembanyama hangs the head after the miss! Deflated from the right corner!
Victor Wembanyama leaves it all on the floor! This established player with iron discipline effort!
Kingston Flemings gets stripped in right from the tip-off! That's gonna be a costly turnover!
Bol Bol fades away to the tunnel in disappointment. This up-and-coming baller will learn from this.
Bol Bol lets out a big exhale walking through the door. Kingston Flemings holds his in. During the game, my colleague ordered sushi. It arrived at the final buzzer. Perfect timing. That's a wrap! Coming up: 'American Idol: Accountant Edition.' Singing, dancing, and spreadsheets.
Matchday 13 — vs Boston Ring-Chasers
104-103 (W)
Game time! Victor Wembanyama and this player on the come-up ready to put on a show at the floor!
Kingston Flemings strips the ball cleanly! Veteran move right there!
Brick! Kawhi Leonard misfires from downtown! Sometimes predictable game at the worst time!
Victor Wembanyama, this mountain of a man, showcases iron discipline with a gorgeous reverse layup!
This well-respected player Bol Bol adjusts the angle mid-drive! A killer instinct body control!
Both teams head to the locker room. Kawhi Leonard wipes his forehead with his jersey. Confession: Kawhi Leonard believes the away locker room is haunted. Refuses to go in alone. Tipoff! The ball bounces, the arena vibrates, we're back.
Chris Paul, this tweener, comes up big! An and-one on the decisive possession! Legend!
Chris Paul anticipates the cut and deflects the basketball! This franchise guy reading minds!
Chris Paul, this bonafide star, feeds off every decibel! Wild stands is fuel!
Kawhi Leonard with the dagger devastating dunk! This player on the come-up buries the opposition!
Kingston Flemings, this combo guard, acknowledges the fans! A cathedral silence! A fist pump toward the bench!
Kawhi Leonard does the robot at center court while Chris Paul pretends to be an airplane. The crowd loves it. I spent this game nervously chewing gum. I'm on my seventh piece. This was your favorite commentator. Coming up: 'Extreme Makeover: Garage Edition.' Don't change the channel. Or do.
Matchday 14 — vs San Antonio Skyscrapers
95-104 (L)
Kawhi Leonard posts up into position! This seasoned vet not wasting any time!
Kawhi Leonard forces a sky hook at the buzzer! This seasoned vet trying too hard!
Kawhi Leonard goes to work into a trap! Injury-prone body when reading the defense!
This headliner Chris Paul fouls reaching in! Shaky emotions under pressure on defense!
Bol Bol attacks at the buzzer and finishes with a floater! Too good!
Into the tunnel. Victor Wembanyama grabs a banana on the way and devours it. Confession: Victor Wembanyama tried yoga. Lasted two sessions before declaring it a combat sport. Alright, it's time. The second half waits for no one.
Kingston Flemings, this solid build, throws the hands up! Exasperated along the baseline!
Chris Paul with a wild attempt! This guy everybody knows not finding the range tonight!
Chris Paul uses the hesitation dribble! Eyes in the back of the head creating separation!
Bol Bol, this little thunder, is drenched in sweat! Emptying the tank!
Kawhi Leonard sits alone on the bench. This dude putting the league on notice processing the defeat.
Kingston Flemings walks head down toward the tunnel. Bol Bol drags his feet behind, shoulders slumped. During the game, I counted how many times I said 'incredible.' Seventeen. A personal record. That's a wrap for tonight. Coming up: 'The Amazing Race: Subway Line 13.' Viewer discretion advised.
Matchday 15 — vs Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest
91-133 (L)
Kingston Flemings, this swiss-army-knife type, announced to huge cheers! A standing ovation!
Kawhi Leonard, this towering presence, gets the look but can't convert at the buzzer!
Victor Wembanyama with the lazy pass! Injury-prone body leading to easy points!
This legit talent Victor Wembanyama can't recover! Scored on from mid-range! Lack of consistency!
This All-Star caliber talent Chris Paul throws an elbow in frustration! Limited stamina on full display!
Break. Kawhi Leonard asks the medical staff for coffee. Request denied. Little secret: Kawhi Leonard has a secret TikTok account with 12 followers. Posts cooking tutorials. The players charge out of the tunnel. Smells like a comeback.
Kawhi Leonard fires a two-handed slam at the top of the key but can't connect! Limited stamina showing!
Kingston Flemings lets fly but the legs won't cooperate! Defense that's basically a suggestion catching up!
This guy with a proven track record Bol Bol commits the offensive foul! Turnover from the right corner!
Victor Wembanyama gets a technical for complaining! Hot head on full display!
Kawhi Leonard, this tower, trudges off the palace of hoops. Lessons to take from this one.
Kawhi Leonard stands alone at center court as the lights go dim. Victor Wembanyama comes back to get him. I drank so much coffee tonight I'm going to commentate in my sleep. Thanks everyone! Up next: 'Ice Road Truckers: Uber Eats Delivery on a Rainy Night.'
My Team ends the season #8 with a 8W-7L record. Season MVP: Victor Wembanyama.
Season journal
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