My dream starting five — basketball_team 🇰🇷
5 members · TeamBranch
시즌 저널
순위표
| # | Team | 승 | 패 | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | San Antonio Skyscrapers | 13 | 2 | 26 |
| 2 | Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 3 | Detroit Engine-Roar | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 4 | Boston Ring-Chasers | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 5 | New York Over-Timers | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 6 | Cleveland Twin-Towers | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 7 | Minnesota Ice-Wall | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 8 | Houston Blast-Off | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 9 | Denver Horse-Track | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 10 | Orlando Magic-Beans | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 11 | Los Angeles Nursing-Home | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 12 | Toronto Border-Patrol | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 13 | Phoenix No-Defense | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 14 | Miami Heart-Attack | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 15 | Philadelphia Injury-Report | 2 | 13 | 4 |
| 16 | My Team | 0 | 15 | 0 |
프리시즌
Kill the cameras, turn off your phones, and shut your mouths because what we're about to witness tonight only happens once in a generation. We're in the belly of an arena where the floor trembles under the bass, where the Jumbotron spits fire, where 20,000 lunatics are screaming their heads off before the tip-off even happens. The franchise walking onto this court isn't a basketball club, it's a war machine forged in the pain of defeat and the madness of impossible comebacks. Every player here has gladiator blood in his veins and an ego size of Texas. The team with no name, baby! There's one guy on this team who scares the living hell out of everyone. Opponents, coaches, referees, even her own teammates sometimes. That's 다카이치 사나에. The woman is massive, shoulders like a linebacker, and a touch on the ball so soft it makes you want to cry. This damn player can drop 40 one night, grab 15 boards the next, and slap you with a triple-double night after just because she was bored. The kind of guy you want on your squad and pray you never have to face. I asked a former player what it felt like to guard her. She looked at me with hollow eyes and said: "It's like trying to catch smoke." Smoke, my friends. You think you've got her, you close your hands, and there's nothing there. She's already on the other side of the court drilling a three in your face with a little smirk. The kind of player who makes you want to quit basketball and open a bakery, because at least bread doesn't disappear when you try to touch it. Alright, we need to address the elephant in the room. Or rather, the comedy show on the roster. 이재명 is on this team. 이재명, who is a 변호사 and doesn't even know what "pick-and-roll" means. The guy shows up with their heavy case law under his arm, shoes that are clearly not regulation, and the cardio of a weekend smoker. At his first practice, he tried a crossover and twisted his ankle. At his second, he attempted a layup and the ball flew into the stands. But damn it, what this man has is balls of steel and an ability to make an entire arena laugh without even trying. And that, my friends, is worth every max contract in the world. The budget? What budget? We're so far below the salary floor you could limbo under it blindfolded. The team accountant is the owner's cousin running Excel 2003 with no updates since the Bush administration. The jerseys are hand-washed by the intern, road trips are carpooled, and the last free agent who visited the facilities turned around the second he saw the locker room. But you know what? Character is forged in the struggle. And this team's got character coming out of its damn ears.
매치데이 1 — vs Detroit Engine-Roar
73-118 (패)
김정은, this once-in-a-lifetime player, wins the opening tip! Great start for the team!
다카이치 사나에 shoots an air ball in wild stands! A 대학 교수 lost in the noise!
다카이치 사나에 trips up in the corner! A 대학 교수 never trips at work... Right?
도널드 트럼프 can't stay in front! Bankrolling the next venture doesn't build lateral quickness!
This all-time great 김정은 gets into it with the opponent! Tempers flaring!
Break! 조 바이든 has left a puddle of sweat at every step through the tunnel. Little secret: 조 바이든 watches cat videos between quarters. Says it's relaxing. The players charge out of the tunnel. Smells like a comeback.
조 바이든 launches but the shot rims out! Injury-prone body rears its ugly head!
다카이치 사나에, this franchise cornerstone, with the tired turnover! Legs and mind fatigued!
다카이치 사나에 fires away into a dead end at half court! Turnover! Tendency to force bad shots!
다카이치 사나에 slaps the floor in frustration! Slapping harder than a 대학 교수 hits the workbench!
이재명 sits on the bench post-game! Sitting like a 변호사 after their heavy case law broke!
이재명 replays the score in his head on a loop. 다카이치 사나에 tries to think about something else. My evening in one word? Epic. In two words? Epic and loud. That's a wrap! And now, the network's masterpiece: 'My Cat, My Battle.' Don't miss the finale.
매치데이 2 — vs Miami Heart-Attack
86-115 (패)
And we're underway! 다카이치 사나에 touches the orange first! This potential GOAT looks eager!
도널드 트럼프 bobbles and misses! Fumbling the Wilson like it's a Monday morning!
Intercepted! 김정은's pass snatched right out of the air! A 정치인 would never be that careless!
다카이치 사나에 bites on the fake! Fooled like a 대학 교수 by counterfeit the young scholars!
다카이치 사나에 scores at will! A two-handed slam driving to the hoop! This all-time great domination!
Coach calls everyone back. 도널드 트럼프 drags his feet toward the tunnel. Bus driver's confession: 도널드 트럼프 raps gibberish during road trips. Loudly. Resetting the counters for this second half. Well, not really.
이재명 storms to the bench! This certified bucket is visibly upset!
이재명 can't buy a shot! Wouldn't happen with the prosecution's claim, a 변호사 always hits!
이재명 executes a pick-and-pop attack perfectly! Precision learned as a 변호사!
이재명 gets the mercy sub! Mercy, like a 변호사 begging the prosecution's claim for mercy!
도널드 트럼프, this combo guard, hangs the head. Tough loss despite that dawg mentality effort.
이재명 stands alone at center court as the lights go dim. 다카이치 사나에 comes back to get him. Tonight I yelled so loud the guy in the next booth asked me to keep it down. Mid-game. See you at the next game. In the meantime: 'MasterClass: How to Fold a Fitted Sheet.' Gripping television.
매치데이 3 — vs Orlando Magic-Beans
86-114 (패)
도널드 트럼프 wins the opening tip! Tipping off with 투자가 energy!
김정은, this low-to-the-ground speedster, can't finish under the basket! That one stings!
다카이치 사나에 double-dribbles! Challenging the young scholars doesn't have that rule!
김정은, this pint-sized baller, lets the shooter get free along the baseline! Costly lapse!
김정은 scores again! When you're a 정치인 by trade, the rock is child's play!
Halftime. 조 바이든 is holding his ribs walking toward the tunnel. Anecdote: 조 바이든 fell asleep on the bench during an exhibition game. Still got named MVP. Back on the court. The crowd greets them with a standing ovation.
이재명, this world-class player, with the frustrated foul! Shaky emotions under pressure in tough moments!
Air ball from 도널드 트럼프! Being a 투자가 doesn't help with shooting, apparently!
김정은 goes to the post! That 정치인 strength is showing!
다카이치 사나에, this combo guard, is drenched in sweat! Emptying the tank!
조 바이든 walks off in defeat! Even a 대학 교수's skills couldn't save tonight!
김정은 takes off his shoes and carries them like a ghost. 도널드 트럼프 follows the same path. Confession: I bet against my favorite team tonight. Superstition. It works half the time. Thanks for being here. Now put down the remote, it's time for 'Wheel of Misfortune.'
매치데이 4 — vs Philadelphia Injury-Report
84-110 (패)
This guy everybody knows 이재명 comes out aggressive! Opens with a tear drop in transition!
도널드 트럼프, this combo guard, wastes a golden chance with a wild devastating dunk!
조 바이든 coughs up the orange! Lack of consistency strikes again from mid-range!
도널드 트럼프, this swiss-army-knife type, gets dunked on from the left corner! Poster material!
이재명 nails a bucket with the ease of a 변호사 who dismantles the prosecution's claim. Natural!
Halftime whistle. 도널드 트럼프 high-fives his teammates on the way out. Fun fact: 도널드 트럼프 failed the driving test three times. On the court it's a different story, thankfully. Tipoff! The ref blows the whistle, the ball is in the air.
도널드 트럼프 glares at the scoreboard! This hall-of-fame lock not happy with the situation!
이재명 misfires at the buzzer! Even this bonafide star has off nights!
김정은 penetrates into the right spacing! Iron discipline and elite court awareness!
이재명 grabs the shorts! This multi-time All-Star is running on fumes!
다카이치 사나에 leaves the hardwood with dignity! The dignity of a 대학 교수 with their lecture notes!
김정은 refuses the coach's embrace. 조 바이든 accepts it but his body is stiff. On my end, the AC in the booth broke down. I sweated more than 조 바이든. Thanks for tonight. Up next: 'American Ninja Warrior: No Elevator Edition.' Sixth floor, no landing.
매치데이 5 — vs Phoenix No-Defense
87-129 (패)
도널드 트럼프 fires up the crowd to open the game! This franchise cornerstone starting strong!
이재명 rises up but it's well off! Limited stamina under fatigue!
도널드 트럼프 throws it out of bounds! Like launching their portfolio ledger into the void!
도널드 트럼프 gets screened out! Stuck behind their portfolio ledger like it's a wall!
다카이치 사나에 walks away muttering! Muttering about the young scholars under their breath!
Halftime! 이재명 walks barefoot on the cold tunnel tiles. Anecdote: 이재명 once shot at the wrong basket during warm-ups. Nobody has forgotten. Back to business. The players bounce around to warm up.
도널드 트럼프 misses! Even a 투자가 can't fix that shot!
도널드 트럼프 short-arms the shot from fatigue! This all-time great has nothing left!
조 바이든 loses the pill! A 대학 교수 would never be this careless!
도널드 트럼프 glares at the basketball! Like it personally betrayed this 투자가!
김정은 dribbles past the media. This household name not in the mood to talk.
이재명 mutters 'damn' under his breath. 다카이치 사나에 says 'yeah' in the same tone. During the break, I tried doing crunches behind the console. My back remembers. See you soon. And now: '911: My Cat Climbed on Top of the Wardrobe.'
매치데이 6 — vs Los Angeles Nursing-Home
78-120 (패)
The field house welcomes 도널드 트럼프! The 투자가 with the next venture has arrived!
김정은 goes 0 for the quarter! A 정치인 having a rough shift with their campaign podium!
This hall-of-fame lock 도널드 트럼프 commits the offensive foul! Turnover driving to the hoop!
조 바이든, this all-around player, loses the assignment! Easy bucket over hot head!
이재명 blows past and kicks the stanchion! This certified bucket losing composure!
Intermission. 도널드 트럼프 dumps an entire water bottle over his head. Physio's confession: 도널드 트럼프 purrs when you massage his calves. Like a cat. A big cat. We resume. Eyes locked in, jaws clenched.
도널드 트럼프, this versatile guy, bobbles the Spalding and the chance evaporates back to the basket!
다카이치 사나에 wipes sweat with the sneakers! Drenched, the 대학 교수 has been putting in work!
This jersey-selling name 이재명 loses concentration and the rock with it!
다카이치 사나에 throws their hands up! Like a 대학 교수 when their lecture notes breaks!
다카이치 사나에 attacks to the tunnel in disappointment. This generational talent will learn from this.
조 바이든's lip is trembling. 다카이치 사나에 dodges the cameras by pulling up her hood. Meanwhile, your favorite commentator spilled coffee on the mixing board. Twice. See you soon. Coming up: 'Extreme Couponing: Family of Eight at Walmart.' Double episode.
매치데이 7 — vs Toronto Border-Patrol
87-123 (패)
김정은 locks eyes with the opponent! The stare of a 정치인 who means business!
김정은 misses the runner! Stick to the day job, buddy!
이재명, this do-it-all player, steps out of bounds with the Spalding! Mental lapse!
도널드 트럼프 left in the dust! Even a 투자가 moves faster than that!
도널드 트럼프 mouths off on a strategic timeout! A 투자가 venting about the next venture!
The locker room. 이재명 sprawls out full-length on the bench. True story: 이재명 walked into the wrong locker room during his first game against Toronto Border-Patrol. Awkward. Break's over, the players take their positions.
조 바이든 can't get it to fall! Gravity treats the orange differently than the young scholars!
다카이치 사나에 leans on their knees! Gassed, but the 대학 교수 keeps going!
도널드 트럼프 loses the Wilson in traffic! This guy with rings on every finger can't afford that!
김정은 waves off the play! The authority of a 정치인 in that gesture!
다카이치 사나에 tips the cap to the winners! The 대학 교수's grace with the young scholars!
조 바이든 unclasps his chain and squeezes it in his fist. 이재명 runs a hand down his face. Evening confession: I'm wearing 조 바이든's jersey under my shirt. For morale. Off to bed! Or stay for 'Real Housewives of the DMV.' The line is around the block.
매치데이 8 — vs Minnesota Ice-Wall
87-132 (패)
도널드 트럼프 dribbles onto the floor! The crowd roars for this undisputed superstar!
이재명 heaves and misses! Should have heaved the prosecution's claim instead!
이재명, this combo guard, gets the ball poked away! Limited stamina when protecting the Spalding!
다카이치 사나에 loses the screen battle! Shaky emotions under pressure around the picks!
이재명 tugs at their jersey! Frustrated, but the 변호사 will bounce back!
Break. 조 바이든 collapses on the locker room floor, arms spread wide. Anecdote: 조 바이든 slipped on a banana peel during practice. The videos leaked. The internet never forgets. The players step onto the hardwood once more. The second half starts now.
도널드 트럼프 gets a clean look but limited stamina costs the bucket!
도널드 트럼프 plays through exhaustion! The endurance of bankrolling the next venture daily!
조 바이든 gets the ball stripped! The young scholars would have stayed in a 대학 교수's grip!
이재명 kicks the air! The frustration of a 변호사 who knows they can do better!
조 바이든 consoles teammates! The heart of a 대학 교수 in that moment!
조 바이든 walks toward the tunnel without a word. 김정은 stares at the scoreboard as if it might change. During the timeout, I tried to do pull-ups on the edge of the broadcast booth. Zero. Thanks for tonight. Up next: 'American Ninja Warrior: No Elevator Edition.' Sixth floor, no landing.
매치데이 9 — vs Houston Blast-Off
90-134 (패)
Opening possession for 조 바이든! First touch, like first touch of their lecture notes!
조 바이든, this first-ballot legend, comes up empty! A floater off target from way beyond the arc!
조 바이든 loses possession! The young scholars never leaves a 대학 교수's hands like that!
조 바이든 fouls trying to recover! Desperate as a 대학 교수 chasing the young scholars!
이재명 spins the towel! This reliable star showing lack of consistency!
That's a wrap for now. 도널드 트럼프 dives into the tunnel. Fun fact: 도널드 트럼프 tried to patent a celebration after a three-pointer. The application was rejected. Back for the second half. The coach slammed his fist on the table.
도널드 트럼프 launches from deep and misses! A 투자가's range doesn't apply here!
김정은 is cramping up! This household name trying to shake it off! Lack of consistency!
이재명 botches the handoff! Even their heavy case law exchanges go smoother!
다카이치 사나에, this basketball god, barks at the teammate! Ego the size of Texas taking over!
조 바이든, this tweener, trudges off the den. Lessons to take from this one.
조 바이든 mutters while walking out. 이재명 watches from the corner of his eye, worried. Fun fact: my sound engineer fell asleep during the second quarter. I woke him with an elbow. Good evening! Up next: 'Criminal Minds: Finding the Colleague Who Steals Yogurt from the Fridge.'
매치데이 10 — vs Denver Horse-Track
82-127 (패)
도널드 트럼프 steps onto the temple of basketball! From bankrolling the next venture to this, game time!
김정은 gets the friendly rim but no luck! Even the 정치인 touch can't save that one!
도널드 트럼프 turns it over at coming out of the locker room! A 투자가 dropping their portfolio ledger at the worst time!
도널드 트럼프 scrambles but can't close out! Open look given up! Occasional mental lapses!
이재명 mouths off and picks up a T! Shaky emotions under pressure taking over!
The locker room. 다카이치 사나에 sprawls out full-length on the bench. Staff confession: 다카이치 사나에 is afraid of pigeons. Not 7-foot centers, no. Pigeons. The hardwood awaits. Here we go for the second half.
이재명 can't connect! Their heavy case law in hand, sure. The Wilson through the hoop, nope!
다카이치 사나에, this absolute legend, making mistakes from exhaustion! The body is failing!
김정은 throws it away! Injury-prone body under pressure from the left corner!
조 바이든, this do-it-all player, waves off the play call! Limited stamina hurting the team!
다카이치 사나에 sits alone on the bench. This household name processing the defeat.
이재명 stares at his hands like he doesn't recognize them. 다카이치 사나에 exhales. Again. And again. I spent the evening standing up and sitting down every thirty seconds. My Fitbit is congratulating me. Off to bed! Or stay for 'Real Housewives of the DMV.' The line is around the block.
매치데이 11 — vs New York Over-Timers
80-124 (패)
다카이치 사나에 fades away with energy from the opening whistle! This living legend locked in!
이재명 clanks it off the rim! That sounded like their heavy case law hitting the prosecution's claim!
조 바이든 steps back carelessly and gets stripped! Another giveaway!
조 바이든 gets blown by! Even a 대학 교수 couldn't stop that!
This certified GOAT candidate 도널드 트럼프 hangs the head after the miss! Deflated in the paint!
Halftime whistle. 다카이치 사나에 flops into the first available chair. I've been told 다카이치 사나에 always puts her left shoe on first. The one day she switched, gave up 40 points. The buzzer calls the players. Time for the show, act II.
조 바이든 takes a tough alley-oop and it doesn't go! Tendency to rush in shot selection!
다카이치 사나에 mops their face! Sweating more than when challenging the young scholars!
김정은, this little thunder, telegraphs the pass! Intercepted off the pick and roll!
조 바이든 argues with the ref! The same passion they bring to challenging the young scholars!
도널드 트럼프 takes the loss hard! Hard as the next venture on a bad 투자가 day!
다카이치 사나에 refuses the coach's embrace. 도널드 트럼프 accepts it but his body is stiff. Final confession: I still don't know how to pronounce 다카이치 사나에's name. Forgive me. Good night! Up next: 'America's Got Talent: Mouth Noises Edition.' The judges are baffled.
매치데이 12 — vs Cleveland Twin-Towers
90-134 (패)
이재명 starts in the leader! Playing the leader way a 변호사 plays with their heavy case law!
This basketball god 조 바이든 rattles it out! So close yet so far in transition!
다카이치 사나에 blows past the Spalding right to the defense! Costly mistake by this certified GOAT candidate!
김정은 loses their assignment! Like losing their campaign podium in the workshop!
This potential GOAT 도널드 트럼프 stares at the ref! That look could freeze water!
Players head to the locker room. 이재명 has tape on three fingers. Fun fact: 이재명 failed the driving test three times. On the court it's a different story, thankfully. Back for the second half. The coach slammed his fist on the table.
도널드 트럼프 fires and misses from the low block. Should have stuck with the next venture!
조 바이든 labors up the court! Trudging like a 대학 교수 dragging the young scholars!
김정은 with the careless pass! Shaping the public policy with more care, please!
다카이치 사나에 stares in disbelief! The look of a 대학 교수 who just lost everything!
This once-in-a-lifetime player 김정은 stares at the scoreboard. Not the outcome this once-in-a-lifetime player wanted.
이재명's face is locked shut, zero emotion. 조 바이든 hides his eyes under a towel. During the timeout, I tried to do pull-ups on the edge of the broadcast booth. Zero. That's all! Coming up: 'Hotel Hell: Airbnb With No Lock Edition.' Chills guaranteed.
매치데이 13 — vs Boston Ring-Chasers
79-124 (패)
이재명 looks dialed in from the start! An unmatched feel for the game preparation showing!
이재명 bricks another one! Building something awful with their heavy case law tonight!
김정은 dribbles it off their foot! Their campaign podium would never betray a 정치인 like that!
이재명 gets posterized! A 변호사 framed by their heavy case law in the worst way!
This generational talent 다카이치 사나에 shakes the head in disbelief! Nothing going right!
Break. The coach is yelling in the tunnel, 김정은 picks up the pace. Anecdote: 김정은 lost a bet and had to wear the center's shoes during warm-ups. Size 16. The tunnel spits the players out. The war resumes.
An off-balance shot from 조 바이든 hits the iron! Tendency to rush under the spotlight!
조 바이든, this swiss-army-knife type, laboring up and down! Tendency to force bad shots draining the energy!
다카이치 사나에 with the lazy pass! Hot head leading to easy points!
조 바이든 vents at their teammates! The 대학 교수 who vents about the young scholars!
도널드 트럼프 refuses to make excuses! A 투자가 owns the next venture failures too!
이재명's gaze is cold, distant. 다카이치 사나에's gaze is hot, angry. During the break, I tried to juggle three balls. My cameraman filmed everything. It'll come out someday. Good evening! Coming up: 'Dancing with the Stars: My Cousin's Wedding Edition.' Open bar.
매치데이 14 — vs San Antonio Skyscrapers
74-119 (패)
다카이치 사나에 takes the floor with that look in her eyes! She came to play tonight!
조 바이든, this versatile guy, gets the separation but can't finish! Limited stamina!
도널드 트럼프 with the travel! Footwork confusion worthy of a lost 투자가!
다카이치 사나에 watches them score! Just watching, like watching their lecture notes gather dust!
김정은 pounds the scorer's table! Frustrated! The 정치인 in them is showing!
That's a cut. 다카이치 사나에 stumbles slightly reaching the locker room. Anecdote: 다카이치 사나에 fell asleep on the bench during an exhibition game. Still got named MVP. The arena lights up, the players are back. Game on.
This franchise cornerstone 도널드 트럼프 muscles up a fadeaway jumper but can't get it to fall!
This household name 도널드 트럼프 is a warrior but the body says no! The contest of war!
This potential GOAT 도널드 트럼프 forces a pass into double coverage! Picked off!
이재명 looks to the heavens! A 변호사 praying for their heavy case law to work!
다카이치 사나에 looks at the scoreboard one last time! Numbers don't lie for a 대학 교수!
조 바이든 takes a sip of water and spits it right back out. 도널드 트럼프 doesn't drink. Throat too tight. During the game, I got a text from my mom: 'Stop yelling, I can hear you from here.' She lives 120 miles away. Alright, good night! Up next: 'Planet Earth: Exploring the World from My Couch.' Immersive documentary.
매치데이 15 — vs Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest
79-124 (패)
The game begins and 도널드 트럼프 is ready! You can see pure God-given talent written all over his face!
다카이치 사나에 fires away the damn ball but it won't fall! Cold streak continues!
다카이치 사나에 gets picked! A 대학 교수 getting the young scholars stolen in broad daylight!
This guy with rings on every finger 조 바이든 fouls reaching in! Heavy feet on defense!
김정은 shakes their head! A 정치인 who can't believe that just happened!
Rest. 조 바이든 buries his head in a wet towel and doesn't move. Did you know 조 바이든 keeps a photo of his dog in his right shoe? It's a Bichon. Back on the hardwood. The tension has gone up a notch.
김정은 sends it wide! Their campaign podium wouldn't forgive that either!
도널드 트럼프 digs deep! Deep as a 투자가 digs into the next venture!
This hall-of-fame lock 조 바이든 with a careless turnover! Gift-wrapped for the opponent!
이재명 buries their face! Hidden from view, the 변호사 can't watch!
이재명 leaves the arena quietly! Quiet as a 변호사 after the prosecution's claim setback!
김정은 bites the inside of his cheek. 이재명 pinches the bridge of his nose. During the timeout, I tried to do pull-ups on the edge of the broadcast booth. Zero. Thanks everyone! Up next: 'Ice Road Truckers: Uber Eats Delivery on a Rainy Night.'
My Team finishes #16 (0W-15L). Better luck next season! MVP: 다카이치 사나에.
Season journal
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