My dream starting five — basketball_team 🇿🇦
5 members · by Lucas Hong · TeamBranch
Season Journal
Standings
| # | Team | W | L | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Detroit Engine-Roar | 13 | 2 | 26 |
| 2 | San Antonio Skyscrapers | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 3 | Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 4 | My Team | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 5 | Cleveland Twin-Towers | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 6 | Boston Ring-Chasers | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 7 | Denver Horse-Track | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 8 | New York Over-Timers | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 9 | Houston Blast-Off | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 10 | Philadelphia Injury-Report | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 11 | Toronto Border-Patrol | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 12 | Phoenix No-Defense | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 13 | Los Angeles Nursing-Home | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 14 | Minnesota Ice-Wall | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 15 | Orlando Magic-Beans | 3 | 12 | 6 |
| 16 | Miami Heart-Attack | 0 | 15 | 0 |
Pre-season
Get comfortable because tonight, we are about to witness something special. I can feel it. It's in the air, it's in the eyes, it's in the low rumble of 20,000 people who know they're about to live through a moment. The franchise about to step onto this court has seen it all, lived it all: legendary triple-doubles, buzzer-beating heartbreaks, 15-point fourth-quarter comebacks, and losses that shatter careers. But they're here, still and always, with that burning desire to tear everything apart. The team with no name, baby! Yeah sure, it's a team sport, we all agree on that. But when you've got A. C. Green on your roster, the word "team" basically means him plus four guys who pass him the ball. Standing at 206 cm, a first step more explosive than a rocket launch, and a fadeaway so silky that even the defenders applaud as they watch him score. Scouts had this dude flagged at 14. By 16, he was beating pros. Today? He's embarrassing them. But what truly terrifies opponents isn't his highlights, it's his head. Look into his eyes during crunch time. There's nothing there. No stress, no doubt, just a killer's stare that says "give me the ball and get the hell out of the way." Opposing coaches have tried double-teams, triple-teams, zone defense, trash talk, Hack-a-Shaq... Nothing works. The man is programmed for clutch moments. It's genetic, and there's not a damn thing anyone can do about it. The budget, let's talk about it. Or actually, let's not, because it'll make you dizzy. We're beyond the luxury tax, beyond the second apron, we're in a zone that even the league's tax accountants struggle to calculate. The owner burns cash like others burn firewood, and he doesn't bat an eye. Every season this team doesn't win the title is a financial scandal. The pressure is absolute, the talent is maximal, and the margin for error is zero. Welcome to the world of superteams, where failure isn't an option, it's a public humiliation.
Matchday 1 — vs Detroit Engine-Roar
94-123 (L)
Tip-off! A. C. Green gets us started! Let's go!
Gary Payton II forces up a double-clutch layup over the defense! Shaky emotions under pressure! Bad decision!
A. C. Green throws it into the stands! What was that from this player on the come-up!
Brent Barry reacts too late to rotate! Hot head on the help side!
Brent Barry pulls up and drills a catch-and-shoot triple! Can't teach that!
Halftime. Mel Counts throws his towel on the floor walking in. Did you know Mel Counts keeps a photo of his dog in his right shoe? It's a Bichon. Here they come. Fresh as daisies. Or not. We'll find out soon enough.
A. C. Green, this seasoned vet, with the frustrated foul! Limited stamina in tough moments!
Mel Counts misses the open look! This who-is-this-guy player can't believe it! Hot head!
Gary Payton, this tweener, sets a brick-wall screen! A killer instinct on full display!
Mel Counts, this newcomer, sucking wind after that sprint! The 4 periods of 12 minutes of battle!
This surprise package Mel Counts stares at the scoreboard. Not the outcome this surprise package wanted.
Mel Counts unclasps his chain and squeezes it in his fist. A. C. Green runs a hand down his face. While you were watching the game, I was desperately searching for my pen. Still haven't found it. Good night everyone! Up next: 'Worst Cooks in America: Boiling an Egg Without Breaking It.' Challenge accepted.
Matchday 2 — vs Miami Heart-Attack
114-89 (W)
Gary Payton II, this versatile guy, announced to huge cheers! A cathedral silence!
Brent Barry goes coast to coast for a double-clutch layup! This solid pro is relentless!
This dude putting the league on notice A. C. Green with a critical stop! A commanding rebound when it counts!
Mel Counts, this towering presence, runs the offense with that dawg mentality! Beautiful passing!
This dark horse Mel Counts adjusts the angle mid-drive! Silky smooth technique body control!
Halftime whistle. Gary Payton has dried blood on his elbow but plays tough. Small detail: Gary Payton wears mismatched socks every game. Calls it a strategy. We pick up right where we left off. Time to play.
A. C. Green dishes the Wilson with eyes in the back of the head. And it drops! Nothing you can do!
The crowd is on its feet! A hostile crowd as A. C. Green takes the court!
Gary Payton II, this smooth operator, anchors the second unit! This player making noise versatile contributor!
Brent Barry, this guy with a proven track record, has been building to this all game! After a timeout!
This established player A. C. Green led from start to finish! Comprehensive win!
Brent Barry and Gary Payton leap onto each other like kids. Mel Counts comes sprinting in and crushes them both. I discovered tonight that my mic was off for three minutes. Three minutes of pure genius, lost forever. Good evening! Up next: 'Criminal Minds: Finding the Colleague Who Steals Yogurt from the Fridge.'
Matchday 3 — vs Orlando Magic-Beans
120-76 (W)
This hooper's hooper A. C. Green means business! Fast start driving to the hoop!
Brent Barry, this towering presence, takes over from way beyond the arc. A pull-up jumper! That's elite!
Mel Counts, this colossus, drops the dime! Next-level basketball IQ passing on display!
A double-clutch layup from Gary Payton! This guy with a proven track record reminding everyone why they're on top!
Brent Barry, this big fella, contests everything at half court! That dawg mentality on full display!
Break! Brent Barry rips his shoes off the second he reaches the locker room. Intel: Brent Barry refuses to play if the ball isn't inflated to exactly 8 PSI. Not 7.9, not 8.1. Eight. The locker room empties, the court fills up. Act 2.
Gary Payton, this versatile guy, dominates at the top of the key and puts up a fadeaway jumper! Unstoppable!
Brent Barry, this hooper's hooper, wraps it up with a flourish! Total destruction!
Gary Payton, this solid build, flexes after a missed shot! This league veteran keeping it positive!
Brent Barry, this giant, does the shimmy! A chest bump! The arena goes crazy!
This player making noise Gary Payton II secures the win with night-in night-out consistency! Another one in the bag!
Gary Payton and Mel Counts freestyle a victory rap. Gary Payton II does the beatbox. It's terrible but magnificent. During the game, my colleague ordered sushi. It arrived at the final buzzer. Perfect timing. Alright, good evening! Now it's 'Love Is in the Parking Lot.' Romance guaranteed.
Matchday 4 — vs Philadelphia Injury-Report
121-88 (W)
A. C. Green, this player on the come-up, embraces the wild stands! Game on!
This guy nobody was talking about Mel Counts converts at the buzzer! A tear drop right on cue!
Gary Payton II attacks and dishes! Gorgeous feed at the buzzer! A gym-rat work ethic!
Gary Payton II, this swiss-army-knife type, elevates for a monster hook shot!
This legit talent A. C. Green forces the bad pass! Insane court vision creating turnovers!
Both teams head to the locker room. Gary Payton wipes his forehead with his jersey. Intel: Gary Payton once called an imaginary timeout in the middle of a game. The ref actually hesitated. On to the next chapter. The court is just waiting for the ball.
This next-level player A. C. Green does it again! A free throw with effortless precision!
Brent Barry, this towering presence, makes it look like practice! Total domination!
Gary Payton, this smooth operator, guard's the Wilson like a running back! Wrong sport!
This established player Brent Barry stares down the bench! A hug with the coach after the big play!
Gary Payton, this name that's buzzing, high-fives the bench! A team high-five! Team effort!
Gary Payton II charges toward the crowd. Brent Barry catches him just before he dives into the stands. I spent this entire evening standing because my chair has been broken for three games. Nobody fixes it. Good evening! Coming up: 'Dancing with the Stars: My Cousin's Wedding Edition.' Open bar.
Matchday 5 — vs Phoenix No-Defense
110-82 (W)
Gary Payton II, this legit talent, wins the opening tip! Great start for the team!
Gary Payton buries a pull-up jumper along the baseline! This respected competitor is on fire tonight!
This name that's buzzing A. C. Green with the volleyball spike a charge taken! Emphatic!
This solid pro Gary Payton II with the behind-the-back dish! Highlight-reel pass!
A. C. Green, this towering presence, uses the jab step to freeze the defender! Crafty!
Halftime. Brent Barry glances at his phone for two seconds and puts it back. Locker room anecdote: Brent Barry talks to a sock called 'Assistant Coach.' We don't judge. The players jog toward the court. The air is electric.
Gary Payton lets fly the basketball into a devastating dunk! Unreal swagger shining through!
Gary Payton II, this all-around player, gestures for more noise! The crowd goes nuts!
Mel Counts, this absolute unit, repositions on defense! A gym-rat work ethic collective effort!
Gary Payton, this all-around player, evolves before our eyes! A career-defining moment!
Gary Payton, this all-around player, takes the final bow! A fist pump toward the bench! Dominant display!
Brent Barry and Mel Counts pretend to fish A. C. Green out of the crowd. They pull hard. Evening confession: I'm wearing Brent Barry's jersey under my shirt. For morale. That's a wrap! Coming up: 'What Would You Do: People Who Say Hello in the Elevator.' Exposing the truth.
Matchday 6 — vs Los Angeles Nursing-Home
119-98 (W)
This respected competitor A. C. Green comes out firing! An and-one in the first minute!
Mel Counts spins and scores! A reverse layup! This mountain of a man is a problem!
Gary Payton II rotates perfectly for the charge taken! Freakish explosiveness on full display!
A. C. Green lets fly and finds the trailer for an and-one! Great awareness!
Gary Payton makes the hockey pass! Night-in night-out consistency finding the extra pass!
The players leave the court. Brent Barry clings to the tunnel railing. Staff confession: Brent Barry is afraid of pigeons. Not 7-foot centers, no. Pigeons. Here they come. Fresh as daisies. Or not. We'll find out soon enough.
This next-level player A. C. Green is automatic from the right corner! A half-court heave drops again!
This well-respected player Gary Payton II has the arena rocking! Palpable tension off the charts!
Gary Payton II, this guy with a proven track record, rotates on defense! A gym-rat work ethic team commitment!
This dude putting the league on notice A. C. Green silences the noise! A killer instinct locked in! Nothing else matters!
Gary Payton II, this solid build, acknowledges the fans! Palpable tension! A raised fist!
A. C. Green and Brent Barry do celebratory push-ups. Mel Counts counts out loud. Definitely cheating. Tonight I had a revelation: Brent Barry runs exactly like my neighbor when he misses the bus. Thanks everyone! Up next: 'Ice Road Truckers: Uber Eats Delivery on a Rainy Night.'
Matchday 7 — vs Toronto Border-Patrol
114-79 (W)
Brent Barry fires up the crowd to open the game! This player on the come-up starting strong!
Mel Counts dunks to the rack for a reverse layup! Can't contain this walking skyscraper!
A. C. Green with the outlet pass! Coast-to-coast assist! A gym-rat work ethic on that one!
Mel Counts with the and-one bank shot! Scary good handles through the whistle!
Gary Payton, this versatile guy, alters the shot! Unreal swagger at the rim!
Halftime. A. C. Green throws his towel on the floor walking in. Did you know A. C. Green entered the dunk contest... At 5'9"? Courage knows no height. The players charge out of the tunnel. Smells like a comeback.
Gary Payton with the highlight-reel alley-oop! This legit talent owning the moment!
Gary Payton II, this respected competitor, with the dagger and then some! A hook shot!
Gary Payton II, this tweener, steps on the teammate's foot! Down goes this name that's buzzing!
A. C. Green, this solid pro, cups the ear to the crowd! A chest bump! They want more!
This name that's buzzing Brent Barry is all smiles! The stats back up the brilliance!
Gary Payton and Gary Payton II do celebratory push-ups. Brent Barry counts out loud. Definitely cheating. Behind the scenes, I learned Gary Payton II was also a volunteer firefighter in a past life. You can feel it in the game. Off to bed! And now: 'Jeopardy: Cafeteria Trivia Edition.'
Matchday 8 — vs Minnesota Ice-Wall
119-76 (W)
This well-respected player Gary Payton II gets the crowd going early! The energy is building!
Gary Payton with the decisive buzzer beater! An unmatched feel for the game when it matters most!
Brent Barry threads the needle! Beautiful assist in transition! Unreal court vision!
Mel Counts, this who-is-this-guy player, drops a buzzer beater in transition! Pure artistry!
Mel Counts, this 7-footer, recovers and contests! Never-give-up effort fueled by a gym-rat work ethic!
Cut! Halftime. Gary Payton II's jersey is completely drenched in sweat. Anecdote: Gary Payton II once shot at the wrong basket during warm-ups. Nobody has forgotten. Resumption imminent. The players wrap up their express warm-up.
Gary Payton II scores at will! A fadeaway jumper in transition! This player making noise domination!
Mel Counts, this potential breakout star, still going full throttle! No mercy tonight!
Gary Payton, this versatile guy, accidentally passes to the ref! Nice assist this established player!
Brent Barry crosses over to center court! An ice-cold stare at the opposing bench! This player on the come-up owns the moment!
Gary Payton, this respected competitor, with the post-game interview smile! Natural-born leadership all night!
Gary Payton drops to his knees and kisses the court. Brent Barry pretends to gag. During the break, I tried to juggle three balls. My cameraman filmed everything. It'll come out someday. Thanks everyone. Up next: 'Survivor: Open-Plan Office.' Whoever makes it through the 5 PM meeting wins.
Matchday 9 — vs Houston Blast-Off
92-102 (L)
Brent Barry takes the floor with that look in his eyes! He came to play tonight!
Brent Barry with a rough bucket on the low block! Occasional mental lapses at the worst time!
Gary Payton II, this solid build, telegraphs the pass! Intercepted from downtown!
Gary Payton II gets caught flat-footed! This dude putting the league on notice beaten to the spot!
A. C. Green penetrates and fires a sky hook! This tree of a man lighting it up!
Halftime whistle! Brent Barry grabs a towel and collapses on the bench. Locker room intel: Brent Barry has a tattoo of a basketball hoop on his butt. That's commitment. Back on the floor, faces full of determination.
Gary Payton II gets a technical for complaining! Occasional mental lapses on full display!
A reverse layup from Gary Payton II sails wide! This up-and-coming baller needs to regroup!
Brent Barry shoots into the right spacing! An unmatched feel for the game and elite court awareness!
Brent Barry attacks but can't sustain the effort! Defense that's basically a suggestion emptying the tank!
A. C. Green lets fly to the tunnel in disappointment. This legit talent will learn from this.
A. C. Green refuses the coach's embrace. Brent Barry accepts it but his body is stiff. Tonight I learned A. C. Green used to be a volunteer firefighter before basketball. Found out during a timeout. Threw me off completely. That's all for today. Up next: 'Dateline: The True Cost of a Cup of Yogurt.' Deep investigation.
Matchday 10 — vs Denver Horse-Track
102-111 (L)
This well-respected player Gary Payton comes out aggressive! Opens with a double-clutch layup from way beyond the arc!
Brick! Brent Barry misfires off the pick and roll! Lack of consistency at the worst time!
Gary Payton II coughs up the pill! Tendency to rush strikes again at the buzzer!
Brent Barry, this absolute unit, can't keep up with the speed! Hot head exposed!
Brent Barry pulls up and it's an alley-oop! This next-level player proving the doubters wrong!
Rest time. Brent Barry isolates in a corner of the locker room, headphones on. Anecdote: Brent Barry fell asleep on the bench during an exhibition game. Still got named MVP. We're off again! The crowd chants the team's name.
Gary Payton II, this all-around player, throws the hands up! Exasperated from way beyond the arc!
A buzzer-beater from Gary Payton II catches the back rim and pops out! So close!
This next-level player Gary Payton II calls the audible! Changed the play and it works!
A. C. Green is gassed! This hooper's hooper bent over at half court! Tendency to rush catching up!
Mel Counts reflects on what could have been. Defense that's basically a suggestion difference tonight.
Mel Counts's lip is trembling. Brent Barry dodges the cameras by pulling up his hood. My evening? A microphone, cold coffee, and the greatest show on earth. What more could you ask for. Sleep tight! Coming up: 'Forensic Files: Who Finished the Milk Without Telling Anyone.'
Matchday 11 — vs New York Over-Timers
121-101 (W)
This player on the come-up Brent Barry in the starting lineup! Let's see what this player on the come-up brings!
Mel Counts, this hungry young player, operates facing the rim with a buzzer beater! Clinic!
Brent Barry shuts the door in the paint! That's how you play defense!
Gary Payton whips the pass cross-court! Assist! This solid build seeing everything!
Gary Payton II sets the screen at the perfect angle! This league veteran cerebral play!
Break! A. C. Green heads straight to the bathroom moment he hits the locker room. Anecdote: A. C. Green slipped on a banana peel during practice. The videos leaked. The internet never forgets. Let's go, we're back. The crowd claps in rhythm.
Gary Payton II, this established player, absolutely nails a catch-and-shoot triple from way beyond the arc! Take a bow!
Palpable tension fills the arena! This hooper's hooper Gary Payton feeds off the energy!
Gary Payton II sacrifices the body taking the charge! This player making noise ultimate teammate!
This respected competitor Brent Barry embraces the pressure! This is what greatness looks like!
This name that's buzzing A. C. Green caps off a special night! An ice-cold stare at the opposing bench! Until next time!
Gary Payton II grabs the arena mic and screams. Just a scream. Gary Payton applauds. During the game, I counted how many times I said 'incredible.' Seventeen. A personal record. That's all for today. Up next: 'Dateline: The True Cost of a Cup of Yogurt.' Deep investigation.
Matchday 12 — vs Cleveland Twin-Towers
118-81 (W)
A. C. Green penetrates with energy from the opening whistle! This seasoned vet locked in!
An alley-oop from downtown by A. C. Green! This 7-footer with the long range!
Brent Barry, this tree of a man, hits the cutter perfectly! Insane court vision right on time!
This newcomer Mel Counts goes to work in transition! A thunderous slam drops beautifully!
This up-and-coming baller Gary Payton II disrupts the play with a timely rebound in traffic!
Halftime. Mel Counts throws his towel on the floor walking in. Bus driver's confession: Mel Counts raps gibberish during road trips. Loudly. Tipoff! The ref blows the whistle, the ball is in the air.
A. C. Green, this absolute unit, rises above and hammers a buzzer beater!
Mel Counts, this giant, caps off a dominant performance! Eyes in the back of the head from start to finish!
This player nobody saw coming Mel Counts sits on the rock during the timeout! Making themselves at home!
Gary Payton pumps the fist! This name that's buzzing feeling it in the paint! A bench mob celebration!
Final buzzer! A. C. Green is the hero! This solid pro with a game for the ages!
Gary Payton jumps so high from joy he nearly touches the scoreboard. Almost. Your favorite commentator survived. It's not much, but it's honest work. Thanks for tonight. Up next: 'American Ninja Warrior: No Elevator Edition.' Sixth floor, no landing.
Matchday 13 — vs Boston Ring-Chasers
120-96 (W)
Mel Counts rises up onto the floor! The crowd roars for this who-is-this-guy player!
This total unknown Mel Counts with a picture-perfect catch-and-shoot triple! The crowd goes wild!
This who-is-this-guy player Mel Counts reads the play and intercepts! Brilliant anticipation!
Mel Counts with the skip pass! Assist leads to an open buzzer-beater!
Mel Counts dribbles to the right spot! A gym-rat work ethic off-ball movement!
Halftime whistle. Brent Barry flops into the first available chair. Fun fact: Brent Barry got rejected at a casting for a deodorant commercial. The irony. Here we go again. The players have changed jerseys.
Gary Payton II, this player making noise, reads the play perfectly and delivers a reverse layup!
Gary Payton, this versatile guy, commands immense pressure! The arena belongs to this guy with a proven track record!
This guy with a proven track record A. C. Green defers to the hot hand! Smart basketball!
Mel Counts is writing the story tonight! This dark horse with a step-back three along the baseline!
This seasoned vet A. C. Green raises the arms! The win is in the books! An ice-cold stare at the opposing bench!
Gary Payton II moonwalks across the hardwood. Gary Payton attempts the worm. One of them pulls it off. During the game, my colleague ordered sushi. It arrived at the final buzzer. Perfect timing. Good night! And now, 'The Bachelor: Stray Cat Edition.' Who will find love in this dumpster?
Matchday 14 — vs San Antonio Skyscrapers
105-110 (L)
Brent Barry shoots into position! This established player not wasting any time!
A buzzer beater by Gary Payton II! The crowd erupts! Nerves of steel personified!
Brent Barry overcommits and gets beat! Sometimes predictable game when reading the play!
Gary Payton dunks the ball into nothing! Tendency to rush on full display tonight!
A. C. Green, this tree of a man, energizes the crowd! A packed arena! Comeback vibes!
Break. A. C. Green collapses on the locker room floor, arms spread wide. Fun fact: A. C. Green failed the driving test three times. On the court it's a different story, thankfully. The players step onto the hardwood once more. The second half starts now.
This legit talent A. C. Green gets called for the charge with seconds left on the clock! Brutal!
Brent Barry pulls up the towel! This player on the come-up showing ego the size of Texas!
Mel Counts, this surprise package, answers every challenge! A killer instinct never fading!
Mel Counts can't hit the go-ahead! Ego the size of Texas when the lights are brightest!
This hooper's hooper Brent Barry shakes hands and moves on. In the end, lack of consistency proved costly.
A. C. Green takes off his shoes and carries them like a ghost. Gary Payton follows the same path. During the game, I counted how many times I said 'incredible.' Seventeen. A personal record. Good evening! Coming up: 'Dancing with the Stars: My Cousin's Wedding Edition.' Open bar.
Matchday 15 — vs Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest
87-106 (L)
Brent Barry, this giant, sets the tone immediately! Unreal swagger from the jump!
A. C. Green rushes a double-clutch layup from way beyond the arc! Limited stamina creeping in!
A. C. Green spins into a dead end off the pick and roll! Turnover! Limited stamina!
Brent Barry gets burned on the drive! Heavy feet in lateral movement!
Gary Payton II blows past the pill beautifully for a bank shot! What touch!
Halftime whistle! A. C. Green slides down against the hallway wall. Rumor has it A. C. Green tried to recruit the pizza delivery guy for the team. The guy was 6'9". Both teams return. You can tell the coach gave them an earful.
Gary Payton II drops the head after another miss! Sometimes predictable game sapping the confidence!
Gary Payton attacks but it's well off! Sometimes predictable game under fatigue!
Mel Counts slows the pace when the team needs it! This dude out of nowhere tempo control!
Brent Barry spins but the legs won't cooperate! Tendency to force bad shots catching up!
Gary Payton, this smooth operator, trudges off the arena. Lessons to take from this one.
Gary Payton sits on the floor in the hallway. Gary Payton II sits down next to him. Nobody speaks. I spent the fourth quarter standing. Not by choice. My chair gave out in the third. Good night everyone! And now, the show nobody asked for: 'Pigeon Hunters.'
My Team ends the season #4 with a 10W-5L record. Season MVP: A. C. Green.
Season journal
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