My dream starting five — basketball_team 🇦🇺
5 members · TeamBranch
Season Journal
Standings
| # | Team | W | L | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Detroit Engine-Roar | 15 | 0 | 30 |
| 2 | Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest | 13 | 2 | 26 |
| 3 | San Antonio Skyscrapers | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 4 | Cleveland Twin-Towers | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 5 | Toronto Border-Patrol | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 6 | Denver Horse-Track | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 7 | Houston Blast-Off | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 8 | New York Over-Timers | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 9 | Boston Ring-Chasers | 7 | 8 | 14 |
| 10 | Minnesota Ice-Wall | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 11 | Orlando Magic-Beans | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 12 | Philadelphia Injury-Report | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 13 | Miami Heart-Attack | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 14 | Phoenix No-Defense | 3 | 12 | 6 |
| 15 | Los Angeles Nursing-Home | 3 | 12 | 6 |
| 16 | My Team | 0 | 15 | 0 |
Pre-season
Good evening everyone and fasten your seatbelts because tonight we are not doing this gently. The arena is already sweating, the DJ cranked the volume so high the hardwood is vibrating, and there's a guy in the third row who painted his chest in the team colors even though it's freezing outside. That's devotion. That's basketball madness. And the franchise rolling in tonight deserves every decibel of this insane atmosphere. They've been through the hell of winless stretches and the ecstasy of Finals appearances, and honestly, nobody ever knows what they're going to pull off. That's what makes this sport so damn beautiful. The team with no name, baby! Yeah sure, it's a team sport, we all agree on that. But when you've got Hillary Clinton on your roster, the word "team" basically means her plus four guys who pass her ball. The woman is massive, a first step more explosive than a rocket launch, and a fadeaway so silky that even the defenders applaud as they watch her score. Scouts had this girl flagged at 14. By 16, she was beating pros. Today? She's embarrassing them. The worst part? Her ice-cold composure. The clock shows 0.8 seconds, the whole building is holding its breath, the ball is burning in her hands... And she flashes a little smirk before draining the game-winner with sickening ease. She's the engine, the brain, and the heartbeat of that locker room. If she sneezes, the whole damn franchise catches a cold. Tonight, she's on a mission, and believe me, she didn't show up to mess around. And now, the moment nobody was waiting for but everybody is going to love: the coach signed Stephen Hawking. The man is a university professor. A freaking university professor. In a league where everybody is 6'8" and runs a 4.4 forty, he rolls up with their lecture notes and a suspicious amount of enthusiasm. His first instinct walking into the locker room? Ask where the coffee machine was. His second instinct? Try to dribble and bounce the ball straight into his own face. The teammates lost it. The coach just said "that's the kind of grit I was looking for." We still don't know if he was serious or completely hammered. Let's talk money. We'll keep it short because there ain't any. The budget is so low that the equipment manager also does the accounting, the post-game spread is leftover Domino's on discount, and the last free agent who toured the facility ran for the hills. But damn it, these guys don't care. They play with the fury of men who have everything to prove and nothing to lose. This is the most dangerous team in the league, not because they're good, but because they don't give a single damn about losing.
Matchday 1 — vs Detroit Engine-Roar
79-123 (L)
This absolute legend Mother Teresa catches the ball early and goes to work! Opening salvo!
This undisputed superstar Mother Teresa muscles up a hook shot but can't get it to fall!
Muhammad Ali forces the pass! Forcing their megaphone where it doesn't fit!
This household name Hillary Clinton can't recover! Scored on under the basket! Occasional mental lapses!
Muhammad Ali mutters to himself walking back! This generational talent fighting inner demons!
Break! Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor has left a puddle of sweat at every step through the tunnel. Little scoop: Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor tried to bribe the DJ to play his song. The DJ agreed. Nobody liked it. Alright, it's time. The second half waits for no one.
Hillary Clinton forces a bad fadeaway jumper! This first-ballot legend needs to trust teammates!
Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor, this combo guard, is drenched in sweat! Emptying the tank!
Muhammad Ali goes to work the orange right to the defense! Costly mistake by this household name!
Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor, this smooth operator, waves off the play call! Hot head hurting the team!
Hillary Clinton takes the loss hard! Hard as the young scholars on a bad university professor day!
Hillary Clinton leaves the court at a jog. Muhammad Ali stays there, planted at center court, motionless. I drank so much coffee tonight I'm going to commentate in my sleep. Thanks for tonight. And now: '60 Minutes: The Secrets of the Office Coffee Machine.'
Matchday 2 — vs Miami Heart-Attack
80-120 (L)
Mother Teresa, this all-around player, takes the court! The packed arena is electric!
Muhammad Ali misses at the buzzer! An activist who missed the deadline!
Stephen Hawking botches the handoff! Even their lecture notes exchanges go smoother!
Muhammad Ali gets burned on the switch! Hotter than an activist's worst day on the job!
Stephen Hawking glares at the scoreboard! This global icon not happy with the situation!
Rest time. Stephen Hawking isolates in a corner of the locker room, headphones on. Confession: Stephen Hawking calls mom after every loss. And every win. And also on Tuesdays. Back on the floor, faces full of determination.
Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor steps back but the shot rims out! Hot head rears its ugly head!
Hillary Clinton tanks the play from tiredness! Tanked like a university professor's energy for the young scholars!
Mother Teresa with the backcourt violation! A religious sister going backwards with the game!
Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor walks away muttering! Muttering about the game under their breath!
This max-contract guy Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor leaves the palace of hoops with head held high. Fought to the end.
Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor's eyes are red, jaw tight. Mother Teresa apologizes to the coach, voice cracking. Your commentator survived one game, four coffees, and a sandwich of questionable date. Thanks! And now, 'Neighbors from Hell: The Community Compost Bin Saga.' Episode 1 of 74.
Matchday 3 — vs Orlando Magic-Beans
83-128 (L)
Stephen Hawking takes the court to a roaring arena! The university professor with their lecture notes is here!
Hillary Clinton, this solid build, wastes a golden chance with a wild two-handed slam!
Muhammad Ali charges right into the defender! Turnover! Tendency to force bad shots when controlling pace!
Muhammad Ali gambles for the steal and pays the price! Tendency to force bad shots!
Mother Teresa picks up the second technical! This living legend ejected! Shaky emotions under pressure!
End of the first half. Mother Teresa is beet red but still standing. Anecdote of the day: Mother Teresa forgot her shorts on the last road trip. Played in borrowed shorts two sizes too big. The players charge out of the tunnel. Smells like a comeback.
Muhammad Ali shanks it from the low post! Rallying the protest march uses different muscles!
Mother Teresa is out on their feet! Running on fumes and pure religious sister stubbornness!
Mother Teresa gets the ball stripped! The game would have stayed in a religious sister's grip!
Muhammad Ali throws their hands up! Like an activist when their megaphone breaks!
Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor walks off in defeat! Even a naval pilot's skills couldn't save tonight!
Mother Teresa's complexion is grey. Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor's is red. Defeat comes in different colors. While you were watching the game, I was desperately searching for my pen. Still haven't found it. We're signing off. And now: 'Musical Chairs: Subway Seat Edition.' Winner takes all.
Matchday 4 — vs Philadelphia Injury-Report
90-126 (L)
Muhammad Ali checks in for the first play! Clocking in for the shift, let's work!
Stephen Hawking denied by the basket! Even a university professor can't pry it open!
Stolen from Mother Teresa! A religious sister who let it slip through their fingers!
Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor loses their assignment! Like losing their bare hands in the workshop!
Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor stares in disbelief! The look of a naval pilot who just lost everything!
That's a cut. Muhammad Ali stumbles slightly reaching the locker room. Locker room anecdote: Muhammad Ali talks to a sock called 'Assistant Coach.' We don't judge. The players jog toward the court. The air is electric.
Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor with the ugly miss! The naval pilot touch is absent tonight!
Hillary Clinton misses from fatigue! This generational talent can't get the elevation on the low block!
Mother Teresa fires away into a dead end at the top of the key! Turnover! Limited stamina!
Stephen Hawking, this smooth operator, throws the hands up! Exasperated from mid-range!
This franchise cornerstone Mother Teresa congratulates the opponent. Class in defeat from this franchise cornerstone.
Muhammad Ali claps his hands in frustration. Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor clenches his jaw so hard you can hear it from here. Tonight I learned Muhammad Ali used to be a university professor before basketball. Found out during a timeout. Threw me off completely. See you at the next game! In the meantime: 'Pawn Stars: Selling a Pen Without a Cap.'
Matchday 5 — vs Phoenix No-Defense
77-121 (L)
Muhammad Ali starts in the point guard! Playing the point guard the way an activist plays with their megaphone!
Stephen Hawking can't finish! The university professor who finishes the young scholars can't finish the play!
Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor with the backcourt violation! This jersey-selling name under too much pressure!
Stephen Hawking watches them score! Just watching, like watching their lecture notes gather dust!
Mother Teresa waves off the play! The authority of a religious sister in that gesture!
Time to breathe. Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor has both hands on both knees, completely cooked. Quick anecdote about Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor: apparently he eats pasta with ketchup before every game. To each their own ritual. Jump ball to restart. Let the second half begin!
Hillary Clinton launches a thunderous slam and... Airball! Heavy feet at its peak!
Mother Teresa is running on pure willpower! This absolute legend refusing to quit!
Hillary Clinton throws it out of bounds! Like launching their lecture notes into the void!
Muhammad Ali argues with the ref! The same passion they bring to rallying the protest march!
Mother Teresa, this combo guard, hangs the head. Tough loss despite insane court vision effort.
Muhammad Ali stares at the floor while Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor mutters something inaudible under his breath. I learned that Muhammad Ali's father was a university professor. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. That's a wrap! Coming up: 'What Would You Do: People Who Say Hello in the Elevator.' Exposing the truth.
Matchday 6 — vs Los Angeles Nursing-Home
81-109 (L)
Mother Teresa, this hall-of-fame lock, embraces the boiling cauldron! Game on!
This certified bucket Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor misfires again! Hot head could cost the team!
Muhammad Ali coughs it up! An activist's grip doesn't work on the pill!
This undisputed superstar Mother Teresa gives up the offensive rebound! Hot head when boxing out!
Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor with the crafty tear drop! Eyes in the back of the head on display!
The players head to the locker room. Stephen Hawking is sweating like a racehorse. Confession: Stephen Hawking calls mom after every loss. And every win. And also on Tuesdays. The players jog toward the court. The air is electric.
Muhammad Ali, this hall-of-fame lock, barks at the teammate! Defense that's basically a suggestion taking over!
Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor can't score in the third quarter! This naval pilot is way off tonight!
Hillary Clinton positions perfectly in the three-point line! Placement of their lecture notes on the young scholars!
Mother Teresa dishes a step slower than usual! Sometimes predictable game in the tank!
Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor, this swiss-army-knife type, trudges off the field house. Lessons to take from this one.
Hillary Clinton isolates in a corner, back against the wall. Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor tries to talk. She raises a hand to say no. I learned backstage that Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor also does university professor on weekends. That explains those reflexes. Good night everyone! Coming up: 'Boot Camp: Supermarket Checkout Line Edition.' Discipline.
Matchday 7 — vs Toronto Border-Patrol
77-121 (L)
Opening possession for Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor! First touch, like first touch of their bare hands!
Muhammad Ali misses! Even an activist can't fix that shot!
Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor with the careless pass! Competing the game with more care, please!
Mother Teresa overcommits! Going all-in like a religious sister on the game, but wrong!
This All-Star caliber talent Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor gets into it with the opponent! Tempers flaring!
Rest. Muhammad Ali buries his head in a wet towel and doesn't move. Intel: Muhammad Ali refuses to play if the ball isn't inflated to exactly 8 PSI. Not 7.9, not 8.1. Eight. We're back! Flushed cheeks and hungry eyes on the players.
Mother Teresa gets a clean look but sometimes predictable game costs the bucket!
Stephen Hawking is gassed! This household name bent over at half court! Ego the size of Texas catching up!
This generational talent Muhammad Ali loses concentration and the orange with it!
Stephen Hawking tugs at their jersey! Frustrated, but the university professor will bounce back!
Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor looks at the scoreboard one last time! Numbers don't lie for a naval pilot!
Hillary Clinton stares at her hands like she doesn't recognize them. Mother Teresa exhales. Again. And again. Tonight I lost my voice, rediscovered my passion, and forgot where I parked. A complete evening. Thanks for tonight. Up next: 'American Ninja Warrior: No Elevator Edition.' Sixth floor, no landing.
Matchday 8 — vs Minnesota Ice-Wall
91-114 (L)
Mother Teresa sets the tone early! The religious sister came to play tonight!
This household name Stephen Hawking shanks a buzzer beater at the top of the key! That's uncharacteristic!
This absolute legend Stephen Hawking with a careless turnover! Gift-wrapped for the opponent!
Hillary Clinton, this do-it-all player, can't keep up with the speed! Ego the size of Texas exposed!
Mother Teresa hits the pull-up jumper! The elevation of a religious sister lifting their bare hands!
Break. Stephen Hawking's socks are soaking wet — quick change on the spot. The staff told me Stephen Hawking sings in the shower. Badly. Very badly. The show goes on. Players take position. Silence. Whistle.
Hillary Clinton can't hide the frustration! Their lecture notes frustration meets the pill frustration!
Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor, this bonafide star, comes up empty! A finger roll off target from the right corner!
Mother Teresa controls the glass! Board work as precise as a day job with their bare hands!
Stephen Hawking calls for the sub! Even a university professor's stamina with their lecture notes has limits!
Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor, this guy everybody knows, will be back stronger. This defeat fuels the fire.
Hillary Clinton walks toward the tunnel without a word. Mother Teresa stares at the scoreboard as if it might change. Tonight my voice traveled three octaves. Baritone to soprano. Basketball does that to you. Thanks everyone! And now: 'Keeping Up with the Kardashians: Season 312.' They will never stop.
Matchday 9 — vs Houston Blast-Off
79-124 (L)
Mother Teresa steps onto the gym! From competing the game to this, game time!
Stephen Hawking shoots the orange into the front rim! That's frustrating for this potential GOAT!
Muhammad Ali loses possession! The protest march never leaves an activist's hands like that!
Hillary Clinton can't stay in front! Challenging the young scholars doesn't build lateral quickness!
This household name Muhammad Ali hangs the head after the miss! Deflated at the top of the key!
Rest. Mother Teresa buries her head in a wet towel and doesn't move. Confession: Mother Teresa tried yoga. Lasted two sessions before declaring it a combat sport. Here they come. You can read the determination on their faces.
Hillary Clinton sends it wide! Their lecture notes wouldn't forgive that either!
Muhammad Ali is gassed! More tired than after a full day of rallying the protest march!
Stephen Hawking throws it away! A pass worse than a university professor tossing the young scholars!
This elite player Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor stares at the ref! That look could freeze water!
Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor vows to come back stronger! Stronger than their bare hands reinforced with the game!
Mother Teresa rips off her headband and throws it on the ground. Muhammad Ali picks up his own and folds it carefully. Your commentator lost his press badge during the game. I had to climb over a barrier. We're done here. Up next: 'Top Chef: Microwave Edition.' Bon appetit.
Matchday 10 — vs Denver Horse-Track
82-127 (L)
Mother Teresa looks dialed in from the start! Next-level basketball IQ preparation showing!
Muhammad Ali can't hit from beyond the arc! That zone is cursed for this activist!
Muhammad Ali launches carelessly and gets stripped! Another giveaway!
Hillary Clinton reacts too late to rotate! Shaky emotions under pressure on the help side!
This established star Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor can't believe the call! Arguing with the ref!
Intermission. Hillary Clinton dumps an entire water bottle over her head. Anecdote of the day: Hillary Clinton forgot her shorts on the last road trip. Played in borrowed shorts two sizes too big. Both teams retake the hardwood. Everything is still up for grabs.
Stephen Hawking misfires from the left corner! Even this generational talent has off nights!
Muhammad Ali stumbles on the play! Stumbling like an activist over the protest march!
Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor dispossessed! Couldn't hold on, not the naval pilot's finest moment!
Hillary Clinton drops their shoulders! Deflated, even a university professor's spirit has limits!
Stephen Hawking dribbles to the tunnel in disappointment. This absolute legend will learn from this.
Mother Teresa's lip is trembling. Stephen Hawking dodges the cameras by pulling up his hood. Yours truly survived this game without losing his voice. It was touch and go. See you soon. In the meantime: 'Wipeout: IKEA on a Saturday.' Worse than the actual obstacles.
Matchday 11 — vs New York Over-Timers
84-128 (L)
Hillary Clinton locks eyes with the opponent! The stare of a university professor who means business!
Muhammad Ali heaves and misses! Should have heaved the protest march instead!
Muhammad Ali, this swiss-army-knife type, steps out of bounds with the orange! Mental lapse!
Mother Teresa, this swiss-army-knife type, gets blown by on the perimeter! Tendency to rush in the legs!
Muhammad Ali, this do-it-all player, pounds the scorer's table! Ego the size of Texas on full display!
Halftime! Mother Teresa looks in the mirror and shakes her head. Juicy anecdote: Mother Teresa was caught dancing the Macarena in the showers. Alone. Back on the court. The crowd greets them with a standing ovation.
Hillary Clinton shoots an air ball in immense pressure! A university professor lost in the noise!
Stephen Hawking, this first-ballot legend, with the tired turnover! Legs and mind fatigued!
Stephen Hawking double-dribbles! Challenging the young scholars doesn't have that rule!
This headliner Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor fouls hard out of frustration! Defense that's basically a suggestion showing!
Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor hangs their head! A naval pilot who gave everything they had!
Stephen Hawking's gaze is cold, distant. Muhammad Ali's gaze is hot, angry. I spent my evening screaming into a microphone, and honestly, I'd do it all over again. Good evening! Coming up: 'Dancing with the Stars: My Cousin's Wedding Edition.' Open bar.
Matchday 12 — vs Cleveland Twin-Towers
79-121 (L)
And we're underway! Muhammad Ali touches the Spalding first! This certified GOAT candidate looks eager!
Stephen Hawking misses at the jump ball! A university professor dropping the young scholars at the worst time!
Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor gets picked! A naval pilot getting the game stolen in broad daylight!
This basketball god Muhammad Ali fouls reaching in! Heavy feet on defense!
Mother Teresa buries their face! Hidden from view, the religious sister can't watch!
Break! Stephen Hawking has left a puddle of sweat at every step through the tunnel. Little secret: Stephen Hawking listens to Celine Dion to focus. I repeat, Celine Dion. The tunnel spits the players out. The war resumes.
This potential GOAT Hillary Clinton misses the mark! A pull-up jumper goes begging at the buzzer!
Stephen Hawking needs oxygen! More winded than a university professor after overtime!
Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor with the bad read! Misreading the play like misreading the game!
Muhammad Ali mouths off at late in the quarter! An activist venting about the protest march!
Mother Teresa, this living legend, takes the loss hard. Tendency to rush at the wrong moments.
Hillary Clinton unclasps her chain and squeezes it in her fist. Stephen Hawking runs a hand down his face. I spent the evening explaining basketball rules to my new intern. He still thinks you can walk with the ball. Good evening! Up next: 'Fixer Upper: Renovating a Studio on a Twelve-Dollar Budget.' Challenge accepted.
Matchday 13 — vs Boston Ring-Chasers
74-119 (L)
Muhammad Ali wins the opening tip! Tipping off with activist energy!
Muhammad Ali posts up the basketball right into the defender's hands! Limited stamina!
Hillary Clinton throws it away! Hot head under pressure under the basket!
Muhammad Ali gets back-doored! Didn't see it, like not seeing the protest march behind their megaphone!
Muhammad Ali slaps the floor in frustration! Slapping harder than an activist hits the workbench!
That's a cut. Muhammad Ali stumbles slightly reaching the locker room. Small detail: Muhammad Ali wears mismatched socks every game. Calls it a strategy. The players are back on the court. Here we go again!
Off the mark for Muhammad Ali! Great activist, not so great at basketball tonight!
Mother Teresa attacks sluggishly! Ego the size of Texas catching up with this undisputed superstar!
Mother Teresa commits the live-ball turnover! Their bare hands would be ashamed!
Mother Teresa explodes angrily after the turnover! This hall-of-fame lock spiraling!
Muhammad Ali shakes hands through the pain! An activist who respects their megaphone and the game!
Stephen Hawking scratches the back of his neck nervously. Mother Teresa has the look of someone who has seen things. I tried taking notes during the game. My notebook is full of incomprehensible scribbles. Good evening! Now: 'Destination Unknown: The Roundabout in Scranton, PA.' Total adventure.
Matchday 14 — vs San Antonio Skyscrapers
81-126 (L)
Mother Teresa fires up the crowd to open the game! This all-time great starting strong!
A devastating dunk attempt by Muhammad Ali falls short! Shaky emotions under pressure in the legs!
Stephen Hawking dribbles it off their foot! Their lecture notes would never betray a university professor like that!
Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor gets screened out! Stuck behind their bare hands like it's a wall!
Muhammad Ali mouths off and picks up a T! Sometimes predictable game taking over!
Halftime! Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor walks barefoot on the cold tunnel tiles. Did you know? Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor launched a basketball podcast. Two episodes. Zero listeners. Still going. The players step onto the hardwood once more. The second half starts now.
Muhammad Ali whiffs on the jumper! An activist off their game with their megaphone!
Mother Teresa is cramping up! This absolute legend trying to shake it off! Ego the size of Texas!
Sloppy handling by Hillary Clinton! Challenging the young scholars is done with more finesse!
Muhammad Ali, this swiss-army-knife type, shows negative body language! Limited stamina creeping in!
Despite the loss, Hillary Clinton held their own with the young scholars! The university professor fought!
Stephen Hawking refuses San Antonio Skyscrapers's handshake. Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor offers a limp one with just his fingertips. Tonight my colleague told me I smell like stress. I told him it was my cologne. Good evening! Up next: 'Fixer Upper: Renovating a Studio on a Twelve-Dollar Budget.' Challenge accepted.
Matchday 15 — vs Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest
82-126 (L)
Muhammad Ali, this versatile guy, announced to huge cheers! A Playoff atmosphere!
Hillary Clinton misses the runner! Stick to the day job, buddy!
Hillary Clinton with the travel! Footwork confusion worthy of a lost university professor!
Hillary Clinton loses the screen battle! Heavy feet around the picks!
Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor looks to the heavens! A naval pilot praying for their bare hands to work!
The players leave the court. Muhammad Ali clings to the tunnel railing. Fun fact: Muhammad Ali blocked a shot in the finals... And dislocated a thumb celebrating. Classic. Back in action! The coach got the message across.
Mother Teresa launches and misses! The Spalding isn't the game, and it shows!
Hillary Clinton finds a second wind! The university professor engine roars back to life!
Hillary Clinton with the lazy pass! Heavy feet leading to easy points!
Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor storms to the bench! Heated! This naval pilot doesn't handle losing well!
This household name Stephen Hawking stares at the scoreboard. Not the outcome this household name wanted.
Hillary Clinton collapses into the first available chair. Muhammad Ali stays standing, eyes glazed over. I spent the fourth quarter standing. Not by choice. My chair gave out in the third. See you tomorrow. In the meantime, it's 'Who Wants to Marry My Goldfish.' Good luck with that.
My Team finishes #16 (0W-15L). Better luck next season! MVP: Hillary Clinton.
Season journal
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