My dream starting five — basketball_team 🇦🇺
5 members · TeamBranch
Season Journal
Standings
| # | Team | W | L | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Detroit Engine-Roar | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 2 | Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 3 | Boston Ring-Chasers | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 4 | My Team | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 5 | San Antonio Skyscrapers | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 6 | Cleveland Twin-Towers | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 7 | New York Over-Timers | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 8 | Denver Horse-Track | 7 | 8 | 14 |
| 9 | Houston Blast-Off | 7 | 8 | 14 |
| 10 | Toronto Border-Patrol | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 11 | Minnesota Ice-Wall | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 12 | Phoenix No-Defense | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 13 | Philadelphia Injury-Report | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 14 | Los Angeles Nursing-Home | 3 | 12 | 6 |
| 15 | Miami Heart-Attack | 2 | 13 | 4 |
| 16 | Orlando Magic-Beans | 2 | 13 | 4 |
Pre-season
Kill the cameras, turn off your phones, and shut your mouths because what we're about to witness tonight only happens once in a generation. We're in the belly of an arena where the floor trembles under the bass, where the Jumbotron spits fire, where 20,000 lunatics are screaming their heads off before the tip-off even happens. The franchise walking onto this court isn't a basketball club, it's a war machine forged in the pain of defeat and the madness of impossible comebacks. Every player here has gladiator blood in his veins and an ego size of Texas. The team with no name, baby! The real reason this building is at capacity? It's him. Victor Wembanyama. The man. The beast. Standing at 224 cm, and not an ounce of fat, all lean muscle and raw talent. This dude was put on Earth to play basketball, there's no other explanation. Watch him move on the court and it's like watching a predator in the savanna: every movement is calculated, every step is perfect, and when he decides to strike, it's already too late for the defender. Nature built a monster, and we're lucky enough to watch him play tonight. The worst part? His ice-cold composure. The clock shows 0.8 seconds, the whole building is holding its breath, the ball is burning in his hands... And he flashes a little smirk before draining the game-winner with sickening ease. He's the engine, the brain, and the heartbeat of that locker room. If he sneezes, the whole damn franchise catches a cold. Tonight, he's on a mission, and believe me, he didn't show up to mess around. The chef's surprise of the evening is Jeremy Cameron. An australian rules football player by profession. No, it's not a joke, it's an actual coaching staff decision. The GM nearly had a heart attack when he saw the signing, but the coach said: "Trust me, this guy can handle open oval with surgical precision, imagine what he can do with a basketball." Spoiler: so far, not much. The man spent his first week confusing the free throw line with the sideline, and asked three times if tackling was allowed. But he's got a heart size of a watermelon, he runs around like an overexcited golden retriever, and damn it, the crowd absolutely loves him. Now listen up, the owner has pulled out the checkbook and he's willing to eat the luxury tax penalties. We're in the big leagues. Two max contracts, well-paid veterans on every corner. They're all-in. Every extra dollar spent costs them three in taxes, but they don't care: they want to raise that trophy in June and they've got the firepower to back it up.
Matchday 1 — vs Detroit Engine-Roar
102-92 (W)
Beast comes out hot! Heated up and ready, the superhero means business!
Victor Wembanyama with the tough hook shot through contact! This name that's buzzing won't be denied!
Dylan Harper a defensive rebound with authority! This beanpole protecting the paint!
Beast, this solid build, hits the cutter perfectly! Iron discipline right on time!
Victor Wembanyama, this player on the come-up, draws the double team and finds the open man! High IQ!
The players leave the court. Cooper Flagg clings to the tunnel railing. Fun fact: Cooper Flagg was voted best-looking player on the team. By his mom. In a poll she created herself. Back on the court. The crowd greets them with a standing ovation.
Jeremy Cameron answers back with a double-clutch layup! Night-in night-out consistency under pressure!
Dylan Harper, this guy nobody was talking about, waves the crowd up! An incredible energy rising!
Victor Wembanyama brings energy off the bench! This established player infectious enthusiasm!
Dylan Harper is the protagonist tonight! This guy nobody was talking about authoring a masterpiece!
That's the game! Cooper Flagg finishes with a monster performance! This player on the come-up victorious!
Jeremy Cameron jumps so high from joy he nearly touches the scoreboard. Almost. I spent the evening standing up and sitting down every thirty seconds. My Fitbit is congratulating me. That's a wrap! Coming up: 'American Idol: Accountant Edition.' Singing, dancing, and spreadsheets.
Matchday 2 — vs Miami Heart-Attack
120-99 (W)
Beast lands the first catch-and-shoot triple! First blood! The superhero strikes first!
Cooper Flagg, this seasoned vet, drops a half-court heave in the paint! Pure artistry!
This player on the come-up Victor Wembanyama disrupts the play with a timely monster swat!
Dylan Harper, this oversized freak, finds the trailer! A devastating dunk off the assist, easy money!
Cooper Flagg, this absolute unit, positions perfectly for the offensive rebound! Unreal swagger!
Intermission. Jeremy Cameron dumps an entire water bottle over his head. Anecdote: Jeremy Cameron tried to impress the Miami Heart-Attack players with a warm-up dunk. Hit the rim. With his face. Both teams retake the floor. The best may be yet to come.
Jeremy Cameron floats one in facing the rim! Delicate as an australian rules football player with the sherrin ball!
Deafening noise! Dylan Harper takes off and the building shakes!
Beast sets the perfect screen! Built like a superhero who doesn't skip leg day!
Victor Wembanyama, this big fella, is on a mission! Nothing can stop this legit talent right now!
Jeremy Cameron, this unknown gem, embraces the teammates! A chest bump! Sweet victory!
Jeremy Cameron runs to the coach and lifts the coach up. Not thrilled but smiles anyway. My evening in one word? Epic. In two words? Epic and loud. Thanks for being here. Now put down the remote, it's time for 'Wheel of Misfortune.'
Matchday 3 — vs Orlando Magic-Beans
103-91 (W)
This next-level player Victor Wembanyama means business! Fast start from the right corner!
Jeremy Cameron pours it in! An australian rules football player who never wastes anything never wastes a shot!
This player making noise Victor Wembanyama with the screen navigation! Gets through and contests!
Dylan Harper pinpoints the pass along the baseline! Another assist for this guy nobody was talking about!
Cooper Flagg dribbles the ball out of the trap! Freakish explosiveness under pressure!
Off to the locker room. Victor Wembanyama has already drained two water bottles. Intel: Victor Wembanyama asked Orlando Magic-Beans for their energy drink recipe. They refused. Both teams emerge from the tunnel. The second half can begin.
A floater from Jeremy Cameron! This rising star reminding everyone why they're on top!
Beast, this versatile guy, commands an incredible energy! The arena belongs to this player on the come-up!
Jeremy Cameron takes the charge for the team! Heart of an australian rules football player, sacrifice of a warrior!
Cooper Flagg, this legit talent, answers every challenge! Freakish explosiveness never fading!
Dylan Harper, this 7-footer, takes the final bow! A hug with the coach! Dominant display!
Jeremy Cameron and Beast pretend to fish Victor Wembanyama out of the crowd. They pull hard. I learned that Jeremy Cameron's father was an australian rules football player. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. We're signing off. And now: 'Musical Chairs: Subway Seat Edition.' Winner takes all.
Matchday 4 — vs Philadelphia Injury-Report
112-100 (W)
Victor Wembanyama fades away onto the floor! The crowd roars for this well-respected player!
Victor Wembanyama, this big fella, muscles in for a pull-up jumper! Pure power!
Beast picks their pocket! A superhero with quick hands knows how to handle thieves!
Dylan Harper with the outlet pass! Coast-to-coast assist! That dawg mentality on that one!
Dylan Harper, this mammoth, uses the jab step to freeze the defender! Crafty!
Break time. Cooper Flagg bolts to the locker room without looking at anyone. Small detail: Cooper Flagg wears mismatched socks every game. Calls it a strategy. Jump ball to restart. Let the second half begin!
What a shot from Beast! A superhero bringing their bare hands energy to the den!
Cooper Flagg in palpable tension! This player making noise has been waiting for this stage!
Victor Wembanyama sacrifices the body taking the charge! This player making noise ultimate teammate!
This dude putting the league on notice Cooper Flagg is the heartbeat of this team! A highlight-reel play leadership!
Jeremy Cameron finishes with a monster stat line! Numbers an australian rules football player would be proud of!
Cooper Flagg jumps so high from joy he nearly touches the scoreboard. Almost. My evening? I spent it holding back tears. Of joy? Of exhaustion? Both. Off to bed! Or stay for 'Real Housewives of the DMV.' The line is around the block.
Matchday 5 — vs Phoenix No-Defense
123-93 (W)
Cooper Flagg, this name that's buzzing, embraces the wild stands! Game on!
Cooper Flagg goes coast to coast for a bucket! This hooper's hooper is relentless!
Beast with a left-handed block! The reflexes of a superhero catching the game!
This next-level player Victor Wembanyama with the wraparound pass! How did that get through!
This next-level player Beast attacks the closeout! Driving past the over-eager defender!
Break. Jeremy Cameron collapses on the locker room floor, arms spread wide. They say Jeremy Cameron eats honey straight from the jar during timeouts. The bear of the hardwood. The players are back. The court had time to dry, at least.
This unknown gem Jeremy Cameron does it again! A floater with effortless precision!
Jeremy Cameron points to their australian rules football player crew in the nose-bleeds! The open oval family!
Dylan Harper, this beanpole, boxes out for the teammate! This who-is-this-guy player doing the dirty work!
This legit talent Victor Wembanyama has that look in the eyes! Watch out! Freakish explosiveness!
Dylan Harper walks off the den victorious! This who-is-this-guy player owns this moment!
Beast runs to the coach and lifts the coach up. Not thrilled but smiles anyway. Your favorite commentator survived. It's not much, but it's honest work. Thanks everyone. Up next: 'Survivor: Open-Plan Office.' Whoever makes it through the 5 PM meeting wins.
Matchday 6 — vs Los Angeles Nursing-Home
125-92 (W)
Beast bounces the leather pre-game! Getting that rhythm going!
Beast catches fire! And it's a hook shot! Natural-born leadership taking over!
This up-and-coming baller Victor Wembanyama orchestrates the offense from way beyond the arc! Maestro!
Beast banks it in back to the basket! A superhero's steady hand at work!
Victor Wembanyama, this mammoth, covers ground to get the brilliant anticipation! Wow!
The players head in. Cooper Flagg slips on the wet tunnel floor. Anecdote: Cooper Flagg once shot at the wrong basket during warm-ups. Nobody has forgotten. The players are back on the court. Here we go again!
Dylan Harper, this oversized freak, posts up and delivers a pull-up jumper! Textbook!
Jeremy Cameron adds another buzzer-beater to the demolition! The sherrin ball destruction!
Jeremy Cameron claims the gym is like the open oval, they know every inch!
Jeremy Cameron points to the crowd after a sky hook! This one's for every australian rules football player out there!
Cooper Flagg, this dude putting the league on notice, high-fives the bench! A hug with the coach! Team effort!
Beast hits a dab in 2026. Jeremy Cameron does an ironic dab. Cooper Flagg has no idea what that is. Fun fact: my sound engineer fell asleep during the second quarter. I woke him with an elbow. That was beautiful. And now: 'House Hunters International: 90-Square-Foot Studio, Wall View.' A steal.
Matchday 7 — vs Toronto Border-Patrol
113-101 (W)
Dylan Harper opens with a buzzer-beater! This who-is-this-guy player making an early statement!
Dylan Harper spins and fires an alley-oop! This towering presence lighting it up!
Cooper Flagg strips the ball cleanly! Veteran move right there!
This who-is-this-guy player Jeremy Cameron leads the fast break and dishes! Easy bucket off the assist!
This league veteran Cooper Flagg recognizes the over-help and punishes it!
Buzzer sounds, halftime! Beast walks head down toward the tunnel. Anecdote: Beast once shot at the wrong basket during warm-ups. Nobody has forgotten. Back at it! The players jog toward center court.
Jeremy Cameron nails a buzzer beater from deep! Range like the sherrin ball reaching across the workshop!
Dylan Harper fires away and the crowd chants the name! Listen to that noise!
Beast, this legit talent, rotates on defense! Ridiculous creativity team commitment!
This respected competitor Victor Wembanyama plays every possession like the last! Natural-born leadership burning bright!
Victor Wembanyama lets fly to the crowd! A bench mob celebration! This hooper's hooper gave everything!
Victor Wembanyama cries tears of joy in Beast's arms. Cooper Flagg is also crying but nobody knows why. Final confession: I still don't know how to pronounce Victor Wembanyama's name. Forgive me. Thanks for the game! And now, tonight's feature film: 'Fast and Furious 47: The Quest for a Parking Spot.'
Matchday 8 — vs Minnesota Ice-Wall
116-81 (W)
Jeremy Cameron explodes into position! This hidden prospect not wasting any time!
Cooper Flagg penetrates and converts! An and-one from downtown! Money!
Beast serves it on a platter! A superhero serving the game with style!
A fadeaway jumper from Jeremy Cameron! This guy nobody was talking about is putting on a show tonight!
Dylan Harper rejects the layup! A charge taken by this long boy! Get that out!
Into the tunnel. Dylan Harper grabs a banana on the way and devours it. Staff confession: Dylan Harper is afraid of pigeons. Not 7-foot centers, no. Pigeons. Both teams return. You can tell the coach gave them an earful.
Dylan Harper pulls up and drills an and-one! Can't teach that!
This up-and-coming baller Cooper Flagg finishes with a statement game! Unreal swagger throughout!
This respected competitor Cooper Flagg trash talks then immediately misses! Karma!
Cooper Flagg with the emphatic hug with the coach! This seasoned vet letting everyone know!
Dylan Harper dribbles off the court victorious! This unknown gem leaves it all out there!
Cooper Flagg and Victor Wembanyama swap jerseys with each other. Makes no sense but it's the emotion talking. Tonight my colleague told me I smell like stress. I told him it was my cologne. See you tomorrow. In the meantime, it's 'Who Wants to Marry My Goldfish.' Good luck with that.
Matchday 9 — vs Houston Blast-Off
107-99 (W)
The game begins and Cooper Flagg is ready! You can see unreal swagger written all over his face!
A thunderous slam from Cooper Flagg! That's pure God-given talent at the highest level!
Cooper Flagg anticipates the cut and deflects the orange! This legit talent reading minds!
Beast with the bounce pass! The rock bouncing with precision worthy of their bare hands!
Cooper Flagg, this respected competitor, orchestrates the delay game! An unmatched feel for the game in action!
Well-deserved break. Dylan Harper looks like someone who just ran a marathon. Rumor has it Dylan Harper has been wearing the same lucky underwear for three seasons. The medical staff is concerned. We're back! The DJ cranks the volume, the players charge onto the court.
Victor Wembanyama with the smooth off-balance shot! This established player making it look easy!
Dylan Harper dunks in front of the home faithful! An incredible energy! Beautiful!
Victor Wembanyama makes the extra pass! This hooper's hooper hockey assist for a pull-up jumper!
Dylan Harper, this beanpole, sets the tone with a killer instinct! Leader!
This who-is-this-guy player Dylan Harper is all smiles! The stats back up the brilliance!
Beast gives his headband to a kid in the crowd. Cooper Flagg gives his shoes. Victor Wembanyama gives his water bottle. The kid is overwhelmed. My evening in summary: yell, drink coffee, yell again, spill the coffee, yell some more. Thanks! And now, 'Neighbors from Hell: The Community Compost Bin Saga.' Episode 1 of 74.
Matchday 10 — vs Denver Horse-Track
87-113 (L)
Beast stretches center court! Loosening up, the superhero is getting ready!
Jeremy Cameron penetrates the leather right into the defender's hands! Tendency to force bad shots!
Beast dispossessed! Couldn't hold on, not the superhero's finest moment!
Jeremy Cameron reacts too late to rotate! Defense that's basically a suggestion on the help side!
Jeremy Cameron, this swiss-army-knife type, carves up the defense for a step-back three! Beautiful!
Halftime! Beast checks his stats on the board and winces. Intel: Beast once called an imaginary timeout in the middle of a game. The ref actually hesitated. Back at it! The players jog toward center court.
Beast glares at the orange! Like it personally betrayed this superhero!
Jeremy Cameron rises up the orange into nothing! Tendency to force bad shots on full display tonight!
Victor Wembanyama, this seasoned vet, manages the clock beautifully in the second quarter!
Cooper Flagg, this solid pro, is dragging! The 48 regulation minutes minutes taking their toll!
Jeremy Cameron refuses to make excuses! An australian rules football player owns the open oval failures too!
Beast refuses Denver Horse-Track's handshake. Dylan Harper offers a limp one with just his fingertips. My chair squeaked the entire game. Everyone thinks it was me. It was not me. That's it for tonight. Coming up: 'Nailed It: Cakes Ruined by My Mother-in-Law.'
Matchday 11 — vs New York Over-Timers
94-102 (L)
Beast blows past with energy from the opening whistle! This next-level player locked in!
Cooper Flagg with the contested fadeaway jumper from the left corner! No good! Bad selection!
Beast coughs it up! A superhero's grip doesn't work on the ball!
Beast gets burned on the drive! Hot head in lateral movement!
Victor Wembanyama attacks on the low block and finishes with a finger roll! Too good!
The locker room fills up. Cooper Flagg has already eaten three oranges. Bus driver's confession: Cooper Flagg raps gibberish during road trips. Loudly. Come on, second half! The best is yet to come. Or the worst. Who knows.
Jeremy Cameron kicks the air! The frustration of an australian rules football player who knows they can do better!
Jeremy Cameron misfires! The australian rules football player's precision with the open oval is nowhere to be found!
This established player Victor Wembanyama adjusts at halftime and comes out sharp! Adaptation!
Beast is running on fumes! The superhero tank is completely empty!
Victor Wembanyama walks off in silence. This player on the come-up gave it all but it wasn't enough.
Victor Wembanyama isolates in a corner, back against the wall. Beast tries to talk. He raises a hand to say no. During the break, I tried doing crunches behind the console. My back remembers. Thanks everyone! Up next: 'Ice Road Truckers: Uber Eats Delivery on a Rainy Night.'
Matchday 12 — vs Cleveland Twin-Towers
107-85 (W)
And we're underway! Victor Wembanyama touches the damn ball first! This league veteran looks eager!
This player nobody saw coming Dylan Harper with a cold-blooded half-court heave! No conscience!
Jeremy Cameron sprints to close out! A perfect contest in transition! Great effort!
Cooper Flagg, this next-level player, sets the table in the paint! Assist master!
This respected competitor Cooper Flagg uses the floater over this tower coverage! Smart!
Well-deserved break. Jeremy Cameron looks like someone who just ran a marathon. I've been told Jeremy Cameron always puts his left shoe on first. The one day he switched, gave up 40 points. Back to business. The players bounce around to warm up.
This dark horse Dylan Harper with a picture-perfect scoop layup! The crowd goes wild!
Victor Wembanyama, this dude putting the league on notice, plays to the crowd! A standing ovation is contagious!
Victor Wembanyama puts ego aside! The team comes first for this league veteran!
This hooper's hooper Cooper Flagg digs deep! Finding reserves nobody knew existed!
Beast seals the win! Sealed tight, the superhero gets it done!
Cooper Flagg and Beast do the conga. Alone. On an empty court. Nobody joins in. During the third quarter, I spilled my soup. Yes, I had soup in the booth. Don't judge. Thanks everyone! Up next: 'Ice Road Truckers: Uber Eats Delivery on a Rainy Night.'
Matchday 13 — vs Boston Ring-Chasers
99-97 (W)
Dylan Harper, this big fella, announced to huge cheers! A standing ovation!
Cooper Flagg with the chase-down defensive rebound! What athleticism!
Victor Wembanyama with the off-balance pull-up jumper! This name that's buzzing couldn't set the feet!
Jeremy Cameron, this solid build, overpowers for an and-one! Size matters!
Jeremy Cameron baits the defender! Got them hook, line, and sinker!
Break! Beast rips his shoes off the second he reaches the locker room. They say Beast eats honey straight from the jar during timeouts. The bear of the hardwood. Let's go, we're back. The crowd claps in rhythm.
This potential breakout star Dylan Harper hits the biggest shot of the season! In the dying seconds!
This solid pro Victor Wembanyama with the weak-side crucial offensive board! Incredible help!
The crowd gasps at Beast's move! Agility worthy of a superhero!
Dylan Harper delivers in the clutch! A finger roll under the basket! This diamond in the rough is ice cold!
Jeremy Cameron tips their hat! The australian rules football player salute! Pure class!
Cooper Flagg does the robot at center court while Beast pretends to be an airplane. The crowd loves it. Yours truly held it together all evening without a bathroom break. That's professionalism. We're packing up. Time for the late-night feature: 'Unsolved Mysteries: Where Is My Left Sock.'
Matchday 14 — vs San Antonio Skyscrapers
112-107 (W)
Tip-off! Victor Wembanyama gets us started! Let's go!
This raw talent Dylan Harper with a surgical steal from downtown! Intimidating!
This newcomer Dylan Harper whiffs on a buzzer beater! The crowd groans!
Beast cuts and scores! Sharp as their bare hands, this superhero!
Cooper Flagg blows past into the right spacing! Ridiculous creativity and elite court awareness!
Both teams head in. Victor Wembanyama has a red mark on his cheek from an elbow. Exclusive info: Victor Wembanyama is banned for life from the McDonald's near the arena. The details remain murky. Tipoff! The ref blows the whistle, the ball is in the air.
Cooper Flagg tips in the rebound for a buzzer-beater! All hustle, all heart!
This diamond in the rough Dylan Harper holds ground at the buzzer! Immovable object!
A boiling cauldron fills the arena! This raw talent Jeremy Cameron feeds off the energy!
This guy with a proven track record Cooper Flagg demands the ball and delivers! In the dying seconds heroics!
Victor Wembanyama can breathe! The win is secured, it's over!
Jeremy Cameron runs the full court high-fiving everyone. Dylan Harper follows doing the wave alone. Your commentator survived one game, four coffees, and a sandwich of questionable date. Alright, good night! Up next: 'Secret Life of Your Mailman.' Episode 47.
Matchday 15 — vs Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest
88-109 (L)
Dylan Harper, this big fella, is introduced and the arena explodes! This total unknown is in the building!
Beast forces up a fadeaway jumper over the defense! Tendency to force bad shots! Bad decision!
This respected competitor Victor Wembanyama dribbles off the foot! Unforced error!
Victor Wembanyama, this towering presence, can't keep up with the speed! Sometimes predictable game exposed!
Cooper Flagg, this absolute unit, with a silky deep three from way beyond the arc! Smooth operator!
Halftime! Jeremy Cameron has the hardwood pattern imprinted on his elbow. Did you know Jeremy Cameron entered the dunk contest... At 5'9"? Courage knows no height. Come on, second half! The best is yet to come. Or the worst. Who knows.
Beast argues with the ref! The same passion they bring to competing the game!
Brick! Beast misfires from the right corner! Ego the size of Texas at the worst time!
Dylan Harper, this 7-footer, sets a brick-wall screen! Pure God-given talent on full display!
This player on the come-up Beast can barely get up the court! Fatigue setting in!
This diamond in the rough Dylan Harper leaves the court with head held high. Fought to the end.
Victor Wembanyama lets out a big exhale walking through the door. Beast holds his in. Confession: I nearly fell asleep during the second quarter. The third woke me right up. Thanks everyone! And now: 'Keeping Up with the Kardashians: Season 312.' They will never stop.
My Team ends the season #4 with a 12W-3L record. Season MVP: Victor Wembanyama.
Season journal
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