My dream starting five — basketball_team 🇦🇺
5 members · TeamBranch
Season Journal
Standings
| # | Team | W | L | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | San Antonio Skyscrapers | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 2 | Detroit Engine-Roar | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 3 | Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 4 | Boston Ring-Chasers | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 5 | Denver Horse-Track | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 6 | Cleveland Twin-Towers | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 7 | New York Over-Timers | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 8 | My Team | 7 | 8 | 14 |
| 9 | Houston Blast-Off | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 10 | Minnesota Ice-Wall | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 11 | Toronto Border-Patrol | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 12 | Los Angeles Nursing-Home | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 13 | Orlando Magic-Beans | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 14 | Philadelphia Injury-Report | 3 | 12 | 6 |
| 15 | Phoenix No-Defense | 3 | 12 | 6 |
| 16 | Miami Heart-Attack | 1 | 14 | 2 |
Pre-season
Shut the hell up for two seconds and listen to that sound. That low rumble, that murmur of 20,000 people holding their breath at the same time. That's the sound of an arena that knows tonight is going to be something. We're here for a franchise that's in the DNA of this league, a club with as many banners in the rafters as ghosts in the locker room. Legends have walked this court, careers have been shattered here, and miracles have been born on this very floor. Tonight, we write the next chapter. The team with no name, baby! If you paid for your ticket tonight, there's one reason and one reason only, and that reason's name is Victor Wembanyama. Standing at 224 cm, marathon-runner cardio, and surgeon's hands. This man catches a ball mid-flight the way you grab the remote off the couch. Except he follows it up with a spin move, a step-back, and a 30-footer that doesn't even touch the rim. Nothing but net. Every single time. Like the basket is magnetized to the damn ball. What kills you about this guy is that he makes basketball look easy. You watch him and you think "well yeah, it's simple." And then you realize the defender in front of him is 6'9", runs a 4.4 forty, and he just dropped a step-back in his face like he was dribbling against a traffic cone at practice. It's not ease, it's absolute mastery disguised as nonchalance. And damn, is it beautiful to watch. Moment of truth, folks. You see the guy at the end of the bench, the one who looks completely lost among the giants? That's Terminator. A military robot in civilian life. The kind of guy who handles bare hands better than a basketball, and who somehow ended up on a professional roster because the coach "had a vision." A vision, ladies and gentlemen. Probably somewhere between his second and third mojito at the All-Star Weekend party. Terminator has a unique playing style: he runs a lot, understands very little, and has an unfortunate tendency to treat the game and the basketball exact same way. The fans already love him. Not for his stats (he has none) but because every time he steps on the court, it's Christmas morning. Now listen up, the owner has pulled out the checkbook and he's willing to eat the luxury tax penalties. We're in the big leagues. Two max contracts, well-paid veterans on every corner. They're all-in. Every extra dollar spent costs them three in taxes, but they don't care: they want to raise that trophy in June and they've got the firepower to back it up.
Matchday 1 — vs Detroit Engine-Roar
103-107 (L)
And we're underway! Roger Brown touches the Wilson first! This guy nobody was talking about looks eager!
An off-balance shot by Roger Brown! The crowd erupts! Silky smooth technique personified!
Roger Brown gets burned on the drive! Defense that's basically a suggestion in lateral movement!
Roger Brown fades away and fires but misses everything! Occasional mental lapses tonight!
Beast Boy turns the tide! Turning the game around with their bare hands finesse!
Halftime. Roger Brown glances at his phone for two seconds and puts it back. Fun fact: Roger Brown tried to patent a celebration after a three-pointer. The application was rejected. Tipoff! The ball bounces, the arena vibrates, we're back.
Roger Brown, this towering presence, gets blocked in the clutch! A monster swat denies this player nobody saw coming!
Stephen Curry mouths off and picks up a T! Heavy feet taking over!
Victor Wembanyama is writing the story tonight! This solid pro with a half-court heave back to the basket!
Beast Boy misses the game-tying shot! Even a superhero couldn't save that one!
Terminator walks off in defeat! Even a military robot's skills couldn't save tonight!
Stephen Curry slams his fist on the bench. Victor Wembanyama places his palm flat, as if to calm the surface. Tonight my voice traveled three octaves. Baritone to soprano. Basketball does that to you. That's a wrap for tonight. Coming up: 'The Amazing Race: Subway Line 13.' Viewer discretion advised.
Matchday 2 — vs Miami Heart-Attack
124-88 (W)
The gymnasium welcomes Beast Boy! The superhero with the game has arrived!
A deep three from Roger Brown! This dude out of nowhere is putting on a show tonight!
Roger Brown, this hungry young player, manipulates the defense and drops the dime! An unmatched feel for the game!
Terminator, this versatile guy, showcases iron discipline with a gorgeous tear drop!
This reliable star Stephen Curry comes up with a massive steal! Transition time!
Halftime whistle. Stephen Curry flops into the first available chair. True story: Stephen Curry had his parking spot stolen by Miami Heart-Attack's mascot. Still talks about it. The buzzer calls the players. Time for the show, act II.
Victor Wembanyama fades away and scores! A buzzer-beater! This towering presence is a problem!
Terminator dribbles with confidence! The game is well in hand for this solid pro!
This dude out of nowhere Roger Brown accidentally dunks on the wrong basket! Confusion!
Roger Brown blows a kiss to the fans! Cool as you like, a raised fist!
This newcomer Roger Brown is all smiles! The stats back up the brilliance!
Roger Brown and Beast Boy play rock-paper-scissors to decide who carries the ball. Roger Brown loses. Fun fact: my driver has been waiting in the parking lot for an hour. He's sent me 14 messages. That's it. Up next: 'Anthony Bourdain Visits: The Park-and-Ride in Poughkeepsie.' Culture shock.
Matchday 3 — vs Orlando Magic-Beans
108-99 (W)
The game begins and Stephen Curry is ready! You can see scary good handles written all over his face!
Terminator pulls off a free throw out of nowhere! Was that basketball or military robot magic? Unbelievable!
Roger Brown, this player nobody saw coming, clamps down on the star player! Nerves of steel on the assignment!
Roger Brown threads the needle! Beautiful assist at half court! Unreal court vision!
Roger Brown pushes the pace in transition! Unreal swagger showing in every play!
Halftime. The doctor examines Beast Boy's shoulder while the others catch their breath. I've been told Beast Boy always puts his left shoe on first. The one day he switched, gave up 40 points. Back at it! The coach said two words. Two words that were enough.
Victor Wembanyama, this dude putting the league on notice, drills another fadeaway jumper at the buzzer! Automatic!
Terminator tips their captain armband to the crowd! The military robot gesture with their bare hands!
This who-is-this-guy player Roger Brown runs the pill patiently! Searching for the perfect shot!
Terminator pulls up like a player possessed! Unreal swagger unleashed!
What a game for Terminator! Tomorrow's the game will feel easy after this!
Victor Wembanyama and Beast Boy play rock-paper-scissors to decide who carries the ball. Victor Wembanyama loses. I spent the fourth quarter standing. Not by choice. My chair gave out in the third. That's all for tonight. And now: 'Deadliest Catch: Rush Hour on the Beltway.' Documentary.
Matchday 4 — vs Philadelphia Injury-Report
117-101 (W)
Tip-off! Stephen Curry gets us started! Let's go!
Stephen Curry, this swiss-army-knife type, muscles in for a half-court heave! Pure power!
Beast Boy reads the play and picks off the pass! Transition opportunity!
Terminator with the give-and-go! Teamwork from competing the game together!
Terminator schemes with the coaching staff! Plotting the next move, true military robot!
Break time. Terminator bolts to the locker room without looking at anyone. Did you know? Terminator launched a basketball podcast. Two episodes. Zero listeners. Still going. Jump ball to restart. Let the second half begin!
A step-back three from Roger Brown! This guy nobody was talking about reminding everyone why they're on top!
Kids in the stands mimic Terminator's competing celebration! Adorable!
Victor Wembanyama, this titan, holds the team together with unreal swagger! Captain!
Roger Brown, this unknown gem, answers every challenge! An unmatched feel for the game never fading!
Beast Boy leaves everything on the gymnasium! Left it all out there tonight!
Roger Brown does the robot at center court while Beast Boy pretends to be an airplane. The crowd loves it. I spent my evening screaming into a microphone, and honestly, I'd do it all over again. Good night everyone! Up next: 'Worst Cooks in America: Boiling an Egg Without Breaking It.' Challenge accepted.
Matchday 5 — vs Phoenix No-Defense
126-90 (W)
Roger Brown, this absolute unit, sets the tone immediately! Pure God-given talent from the jump!
This league veteran Beast Boy with a vintage pull-up jumper! The old magic is still there!
Stephen Curry, this versatile guy, with the pocket pass! That dawg mentality in tight spaces!
This legit talent Beast Boy is automatic from way beyond the arc! A sky hook drops again!
Stephen Curry slides the feet perfectly and forces a miss! Freakish explosiveness in every step!
Halftime! Victor Wembanyama looks in the mirror and shakes his head. Exclusive info: Victor Wembanyama is banned for life from the McDonald's near the arena. The details remain murky. Back at it! The players jog toward center court.
Roger Brown rises up and fires an off-balance shot! This giant lighting it up!
Beast Boy with the cherry on top! A deep three in a blowout! Good night!
Roger Brown dunks and the headband falls apart! Wardrobe malfunction!
Victor Wembanyama with the fist pump toward the bench after the and-one! This legit talent is fired up!
Roger Brown tosses the rock in the air! A fist pump toward the bench! This diamond in the rough mission accomplished!
Roger Brown and Beast Boy slap each other's butts. Victor Wembanyama declines the invitation. On my end, the AC in the booth broke down. I sweated more than Victor Wembanyama. Thanks everyone! And now: 'Keeping Up with the Kardashians: Season 312.' They will never stop.
Matchday 6 — vs Los Angeles Nursing-Home
99-114 (L)
Beast Boy pulls up with energy from the opening whistle! This player on the come-up locked in!
Beast Boy clanks another one off the rim! This legit talent needs to find rhythm!
Roger Brown with the errant pass! This who-is-this-guy player needs to settle down!
Terminator gets blown by! Even a military robot couldn't stop that!
Roger Brown, this mammoth, elevates for a monster bank shot!
The players disappear into the tunnel. Beast Boy asks for an ice pack. Fun fact: Beast Boy was voted best-looking player on the team. By his mom. In a poll she created herself. The players come back running. Did someone set the locker room on fire?
This player making noise Victor Wembanyama can't believe the call! Arguing with the ref!
Terminator can't score in the closing moments! This military robot is way off tonight!
Terminator pins the defender! Pinning them down with military robot authority!
Stephen Curry is running on pure willpower! This headliner refusing to quit!
This established player Beast Boy stares at the scoreboard. Not the outcome this established player wanted.
Stephen Curry walks like someone carrying the weight of the world. Terminator drags one foot after the other. On my end, the AC in the booth broke down. I sweated more than Terminator. That's it for tonight. Coming up: 'Nailed It: Cakes Ruined by My Mother-in-Law.'
Matchday 7 — vs Toronto Border-Patrol
109-96 (W)
This player on the come-up Terminator gets the crowd going early! The energy is building!
Roger Brown explodes and converts! A devastating dunk from downtown! Money!
This solid pro Beast Boy with the weak-side rebound in traffic! Incredible help!
Victor Wembanyama with the hockey assist! That extra pass, beautiful basketball!
Stephen Curry, this reliable star, draws the double team and finds the open man! High IQ!
The players leave the court. Terminator clings to the tunnel railing. Locker room anecdote: Terminator talks to a sock called 'Assistant Coach.' We don't judge. Here we go again. The players have changed jerseys.
Terminator catches and shoots,a reverse layup! Quick hands from competing the game!
Victor Wembanyama soaks in immense pressure! This name that's buzzing living for these moments!
Stephen Curry puts ego aside! The team comes first for this jersey-selling name!
This certified bucket Stephen Curry proves the critics wrong! A moment of pure magic vindication!
Stephen Curry can breathe! The win is secured, it's over!
Roger Brown and Terminator slap each other's butts. Stephen Curry declines the invitation. During halftime, I tried to interview the mascot. It ignored me. I'll recover eventually. We're wrapping up the mics. Up next: 'Chopped: Tupperware Lunch at the Office Edition.'
Matchday 8 — vs Minnesota Ice-Wall
106-107 (L)
Victor Wembanyama crosses over onto the floor! The crowd roars for this solid pro!
Stephen Curry spins and it's a pull-up jumper! This jersey-selling name proving the doubters wrong!
This next-level player Victor Wembanyama misjudges the passing lane! Easy assist through!
Terminator misses the free throw! Competing the game under pressure is easier!
Beast Boy orchestrates the miracle comeback! Miraculous as a superhero saving their bare hands!
The locker room fills up. Roger Brown has already eaten three oranges. True story: Roger Brown walked into the wrong locker room during his first game against Minnesota Ice-Wall. Awkward. The show goes on. Players take position. Silence. Whistle.
This dude out of nowhere Roger Brown gets called for the charge on the inbound pass! Brutal!
Beast Boy argues with the ref! The same passion they bring to competing the game!
Beast Boy's teammates feed off the superhero energy! That confidence is contagious!
Roger Brown, this surprise package, air-balls in the first quarter! The crowd is stunned!
This unknown gem Roger Brown shakes hands and moves on. In the end, hot head proved costly.
Victor Wembanyama leaves the court at a jog. Roger Brown stays there, planted at center court, motionless. I got a text from Victor Wembanyama after the game. Just kidding. Nobody texts me. Thanks everyone! Up next: 'Ice Road Truckers: Uber Eats Delivery on a Rainy Night.'
Matchday 9 — vs Houston Blast-Off
104-101 (W)
This diamond in the rough Roger Brown catches the ball early and goes to work! Opening salvo!
Stephen Curry, this combo guard, locks down the attacker! Unreal swagger on the defensive end!
A half-court heave attempt by Victor Wembanyama falls short! Ego the size of Texas in the legs!
Terminator strings together a reverse layup back to the basket. Ridiculous creativity on full display!
Terminator outsmarts the opponent! The brains of a military robot with their bare hands!
Back in the locker room, Roger Brown sits down and stares at the ceiling. True story: Roger Brown had his parking spot stolen by Houston Blast-Off's mascot. Still talks about it. Jump ball to restart. Let the second half begin!
Beast Boy with the dagger! Sharp as their bare hands in a superhero's hands!
Stephen Curry with the huge double team back to the basket! This established star says no!
Immense pressure spikes every time Terminator touches the ball! The military robot effect!
This big-name player Stephen Curry puts the dagger in! Right from the tip-off two-handed slam! It's over!
Roger Brown, this diamond in the rough, high-fives the bench! A chest bump! Team effort!
Beast Boy improvises an Oscar acceptance speech. Stephen Curry plays the imaginary violin. During the game, I got a text from my mom: 'Stop yelling, I can hear you from here.' She lives 120 miles away. Alright, good evening! Now it's 'Love Is in the Parking Lot.' Romance guaranteed.
Matchday 10 — vs Denver Horse-Track
89-105 (L)
This well-respected player Beast Boy comes out firing! A free throw in the first minute!
Roger Brown misfires facing the rim! Even this potential breakout star has off nights!
Intercepted! Terminator's pass snatched right out of the air! A military robot would never be that careless!
This who-is-this-guy player Roger Brown caught ball-watching! Backdoor cut for an easy score!
A free throw from Beast Boy! This player on the come-up just keeps delivering!
Halftime. Victor Wembanyama's hair is completely soaked, like climbing out of a pool. Anecdote: Victor Wembanyama once wore his jersey inside out for the entire first quarter. Nobody dared say anything. The players are back on the court. Here we go again!
Terminator buries their face! Hidden from view, the military robot can't watch!
Beast Boy launches from deep and misses! A superhero's range doesn't apply here!
Roger Brown rises up into the right spacing! Freakish explosiveness and elite court awareness!
This raw talent Roger Brown can barely jump! The springs are gone from the right corner!
Roger Brown, this absolute unit, trudges off the temple of basketball. Lessons to take from this one.
Victor Wembanyama bites the inside of his cheek. Beast Boy pinches the bridge of his nose. During the break, I tried to juggle three balls. My cameraman filmed everything. It'll come out someday. That's a wrap! And now, 'The Price Is Right: Why Nobody Answers the Phone Anymore.'
Matchday 11 — vs New York Over-Timers
92-115 (L)
Stephen Curry takes the floor with that look in his eyes! He came to play tonight!
Terminator can't buy a bucket! Maybe the game would be easier to aim!
Roger Brown passes to nobody! This hungry young player with a head-scratching decision!
Victor Wembanyama turns the head and loses the man! This respected competitor napping defensively!
A reverse layup! Stephen Curry cannot be stopped tonight! This guy everybody knows is locked in!
The players head in. Stephen Curry slips on the wet tunnel floor. Fun fact: Stephen Curry tried to negotiate a 'mandatory nap' clause in his contract. Denied. Break's over, the players take their positions.
Stephen Curry, this swiss-army-knife type, waves off the play call! Tendency to rush hurting the team!
Terminator, this solid build, gets the look on the low block but the lid's on the rim!
Terminator makes the hockey assist! The unsung play of a military robot behind the game!
Victor Wembanyama, this absolute unit, laboring up and down! Limited stamina draining the energy!
This headliner Stephen Curry leaves the temple of basketball with head held high. Fought to the end.
Victor Wembanyama's brow is furrowed, lips pressed thin. Beast Boy breathes through his nose, hard, steady, trying to calm down. On my end, I ate peanuts through the entire third quarter. Salt is my drug of choice. That was beautiful. And now: 'House Hunters International: 90-Square-Foot Studio, Wall View.' A steal.
Matchday 12 — vs Cleveland Twin-Towers
105-101 (W)
This guy with a proven track record Beast Boy in the starting lineup! Let's see what this guy with a proven track record brings!
Stephen Curry rejects the layup! A surgical steal by this swiss-army-knife type! Get that out!
Terminator fires and misses from along the baseline. Should have stuck with the game!
Terminator attacks from the left corner and finishes with a buzzer beater! Too good!
Roger Brown, this unknown gem, times the cut perfectly! Backdoor for a step-back three!
Break. Terminator collapses next to the vending machine. Rumor has it Terminator tried to recruit the pizza delivery guy for the team. The guy was 6'9". Back at it! The coach said two words. Two words that were enough.
Roger Brown with the go-ahead step-back three! This guy nobody was talking about seizes the moment!
Terminator smothers the ball handler! That's a military robot who doesn't let go!
Listen to that roar! Victor Wembanyama steps back and the place explodes!
Beast Boy converts the and-one in traffic! Tough as competing the game in a crowd!
Terminator exits to a standing ovation! The military robot with their bare hands earns it!
Stephen Curry and Roger Brown pretend to fish Terminator out of the crowd. They pull hard. During the game, I counted how many times I said 'incredible.' Seventeen. A personal record. We're signing off. And now: 'Musical Chairs: Subway Seat Edition.' Winner takes all.
Matchday 13 — vs Boston Ring-Chasers
86-111 (L)
Victor Wembanyama, this big fella, takes the court! The immense pressure is electric!
Victor Wembanyama can't hit the ocean right now! Another miss for this solid pro!
This seasoned vet Victor Wembanyama dribbles off the foot! Unforced error!
Terminator beaten to the spot! Slower than a military robot on a Monday morning!
This established player Victor Wembanyama with a picture-perfect bank shot! The crowd goes wild!
Break! Beast Boy grabs an ice bag and slaps it on his knee. Rumor has it Beast Boy has been wearing the same lucky underwear for three seasons. The medical staff is concerned. Back on the court. The crowd greets them with a standing ovation.
This surprise package Roger Brown stares at the ref! That look could freeze water!
This reliable star Stephen Curry shanks a catch-and-shoot triple in the paint! That's uncharacteristic!
Beast Boy finds the angle! The angle superhero uses for the game!
Victor Wembanyama, this oversized freak, looks exhausted from the right corner! The legs are gone!
Roger Brown, this hungry young player, takes the loss hard. Injury-prone body at the wrong moments.
Terminator refuses to watch the replay on the jumbotron. Stephen Curry watches it and immediately regrets it. I spent my evening screaming into a microphone, and honestly, I'd do it all over again. That's it. Up next: 'Anthony Bourdain Visits: The Park-and-Ride in Poughkeepsie.' Culture shock.
Matchday 14 — vs San Antonio Skyscrapers
92-107 (L)
Beast Boy locks eyes with the opponent! The stare of a superhero who means business!
Terminator bricks it! Not the same accuracy as competing the game!
This big-name player Stephen Curry gets pickpocketed from the left corner! Sloppy handling!
This player on the come-up Victor Wembanyama picks up the cheap foul! Shaky emotions under pressure showing!
Beast Boy scores again! When you're a superhero by trade, the Spalding is child's play!
The players disappear into the tunnel. Victor Wembanyama asks for an ice pack. Did you know Victor Wembanyama started basketball because he was terrible at soccer? Sometimes failure leads to greatness. Second half! The crowd is on its feet, and so are the players.
Victor Wembanyama, this big fella, shows negative body language! Sometimes predictable game creeping in!
Brick! Terminator misfires from downtown! Occasional mental lapses at the worst time!
Victor Wembanyama spaces the floor perfectly! Great read of the system!
This established star Stephen Curry has heavy legs! The pace has been brutal!
Roger Brown spins to the tunnel in disappointment. This hungry young player will learn from this.
Terminator's gaze is cold, distant. Beast Boy's gaze is hot, angry. I learned that Terminator's father was a military robot. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Sleep tight! Coming up: 'Forensic Files: Who Finished the Milk Without Telling Anyone.'
Matchday 15 — vs Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest
86-107 (L)
Terminator starts in the sixth man! Playing the sixth man the way a military robot plays with their bare hands!
This who-is-this-guy player Roger Brown whiffs on a reverse layup! The crowd groans!
Terminator coughs it up! A military robot's grip doesn't work on the damn ball!
Stephen Curry lunges the wrong direction! Fake had this All-Star caliber talent fooled!
Beast Boy with the step-back alley-oop! Creating space like a superhero with their bare hands!
Halftime! Roger Brown has the hardwood pattern imprinted on his elbow. Little scoop: Roger Brown tried to bribe the DJ to play his song. The DJ agreed. Nobody liked it. Both teams return. You can tell the coach gave them an earful.
Beast Boy slaps the floor in frustration! Slapping harder than a superhero hits the workbench!
This guy nobody was talking about Roger Brown misses the mark! A floater goes begging at the buzzer!
Stephen Curry, this solid build, positions perfectly for the offensive rebound! Unreal swagger!
Roger Brown, this surprise package, with the tired turnover! Legs and mind fatigued!
This certified bucket Stephen Curry congratulates the opponent. Class in defeat from this certified bucket.
Stephen Curry's lip is trembling. Terminator dodges the cameras by pulling up his hood. I spent the evening looking for a stat that couldn't be found. It didn't exist. I made one up. We're done for tonight. And now: 'Ancient Aliens: The True History of the Coffee Break.'
My Team ends the season #8 with a 7W-8L record. Season MVP: Victor Wembanyama.
Season journal
💬 💬 Comments & Suggestions (0)
💭
No comments yet. Be the first to share your opinion!
_(cropped).jpg%3Fwidth%3D150&w=150)
.jpg%3Fwidth%3D150&w=150)
