My dream starting five — basketball_team 🇬🇧
5 members · TeamBranch
Season Journal
Standings
| # | Team | W | L | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest | 13 | 2 | 26 |
| 2 | Detroit Engine-Roar | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 3 | Houston Blast-Off | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 4 | Boston Ring-Chasers | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 5 | San Antonio Skyscrapers | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 6 | Cleveland Twin-Towers | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 7 | New York Over-Timers | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 8 | Denver Horse-Track | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 9 | Toronto Border-Patrol | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 10 | Phoenix No-Defense | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 11 | Los Angeles Nursing-Home | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 12 | Minnesota Ice-Wall | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 13 | Orlando Magic-Beans | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 14 | Miami Heart-Attack | 3 | 12 | 6 |
| 15 | Philadelphia Injury-Report | 2 | 13 | 4 |
| 16 | My Team | 2 | 13 | 4 |
Pre-season
Get comfortable because tonight, we are about to witness something special. I can feel it. It's in the air, it's in the eyes, it's in the low rumble of 20,000 people who know they're about to live through a moment. The franchise about to step onto this court has seen it all, lived it all: legendary triple-doubles, buzzer-beating heartbreaks, 15-point fourth-quarter comebacks, and losses that shatter careers. But they're here, still and always, with that burning desire to tear everything apart. The team with no name, baby! Yeah sure, it's a team sport, we all agree on that. But when you've got Victor Wembanyama on your roster, the word "team" basically means him plus four guys who pass him the ball. Standing at 224 cm, a first step more explosive than a rocket launch, and a fadeaway so silky that even the defenders applaud as they watch him score. Scouts had this dude flagged at 14. By 16, he was beating pros. Today? He's embarrassing them. But what truly terrifies opponents isn't his highlights, it's his head. Look into his eyes during crunch time. There's nothing there. No stress, no doubt, just a killer's stare that says "give me the ball and get the hell out of the way." Opposing coaches have tried double-teams, triple-teams, zone defense, trash talk, Hack-a-Shaq... Nothing works. The man is programmed for clutch moments. It's genetic, and there's not a damn thing anyone can do about it. The budget? Astronomical. The owner said "let's go" and signed the check without even looking at the number. We're deep into the luxury tax, every dollar over the threshold costs triple, and the accountant has nightmares every single night. But when you've got two superstars, a fifteen-man roster where the weakest link would start elsewhere, and a coaching staff paid in gold, you don't give a damn about the bill. It's championship or bust, and they've chosen their side.
Matchday 1 — vs Detroit Engine-Roar
86-131 (L)
Tip-off! AJ Dybantsa gets us started! Let's go!
Dylan Harper forces up a double-clutch layup over the defense! Shaky emotions under pressure! Bad decision!
AJ Dybantsa throws it into the stands! What was that from this total unknown!
Darryn Peterson reacts too late to rotate! Hot head on the help side!
Darryn Peterson mouths off and picks up a T! Limited stamina taking over!
Break! AJ Dybantsa grabs an ice bag and slaps it on his knee. Did you know AJ Dybantsa started basketball because he was terrible at soccer? Sometimes failure leads to greatness. Both teams return with fresh instructions from the coach.
Stephen Curry misfires from the left corner! This jersey-selling name searching for answers!
This newcomer Darryn Peterson has heavy legs! The pace has been brutal!
This newcomer Darryn Peterson with turnover number points! Shaky emotions under pressure is piling up!
Stephen Curry storms to the bench! This headliner is visibly upset!
Darryn Peterson reflects on what could have been. Tendency to force bad shots the difference tonight.
AJ Dybantsa's gaze is cold, distant. Dylan Harper's gaze is hot, angry. I spent this game nervously chewing gum. I'm on my seventh piece. Off to bed! Or stay for 'Real Housewives of the DMV.' The line is around the block.
Matchday 2 — vs Miami Heart-Attack
117-107 (W)
Dylan Harper, this surprise package, draws first blood! An alley-oop to start!
Stephen Curry goes coast to coast for a step-back three! This world-class player is relentless!
AJ Dybantsa with the help-side brilliant anticipation! This newcomer always in position!
Darryn Peterson with the transition assist! This potential breakout star pushing the pace with pure God-given talent!
This dude out of nowhere Darryn Peterson switches defensive assignments on the fly! Next-level basketball IQ!
First half is done. Darryn Peterson is chugging Gatorade like it's water. The staff told me Darryn Peterson sings in the shower. Badly. Very badly. We're back! Flushed cheeks and hungry eyes on the players.
This jersey-selling name Stephen Curry is automatic along the baseline! A free throw drops again!
You can feel a hostile crowd through the screen! AJ Dybantsa in the spotlight!
Stephen Curry attacks the pick-and-roll to perfection! Chemistry on display!
Victor Wembanyama dribbles like a player possessed! Silky smooth technique unleashed!
Victor Wembanyama, this next-level player, with the post-game interview smile! An off-the-charts basketball IQ all night!
Darryn Peterson blows a kiss to the camera. Stephen Curry blows twelve. Dylan Harper blocks the lens. Yours truly survived this game without losing his voice. It was touch and go. That's it for tonight. Coming up: 'True Confessions: I Put Ketchup on Pasta.'
Matchday 3 — vs Orlando Magic-Beans
82-110 (L)
This seasoned vet Victor Wembanyama comes out aggressive! Opens with a fadeaway jumper from the left corner!
This well-respected player Victor Wembanyama with a rare miss from downtown! Even the best stumble!
This established star Stephen Curry with a careless turnover! Gift-wrapped for the opponent!
This franchise guy Stephen Curry gives up the offensive rebound! Injury-prone body when boxing out!
Dylan Harper knocks down a fadeaway jumper driving to the hoop! Ice in the veins!
Break. Dylan Harper asks the medical staff for coffee. Request denied. They say Dylan Harper eats honey straight from the jar during timeouts. The bear of the hardwood. We resume. Eyes locked in, jaws clenched.
Darryn Peterson goes to work and kicks the stanchion! This newcomer losing composure!
This potential breakout star AJ Dybantsa misses the mark! A pull-up jumper goes begging from the left corner!
Victor Wembanyama reads the defense perfectly! A gym-rat work ethic and a sky-high basketball IQ!
Victor Wembanyama is gassed! This up-and-coming baller bent over at half court! Shaky emotions under pressure catching up!
AJ Dybantsa had the chances but couldn't convert. This surprise package left wanting.
Stephen Curry clenches his left fist, unclenches, clenches again. Dylan Harper fidgets with his wristband nervously. On my end, I ate three chocolate bars during the timeouts. Sports make you hungry, even in the booth. See you tomorrow. In the meantime, it's 'Who Wants to Marry My Goldfish.' Good luck with that.
Matchday 4 — vs Philadelphia Injury-Report
104-105 (L)
Dylan Harper steps back onto the floor! The crowd roars for this rising star!
This guy with a proven track record Victor Wembanyama does it again! A bucket with effortless precision!
AJ Dybantsa overcommits and gets beat! Occasional mental lapses when reading the play!
AJ Dybantsa penetrates but overcooks it! Defense that's basically a suggestion showing up again!
This player on the come-up Victor Wembanyama with the three-point play! Comeback special from mid-range!
Halftime. The doctor examines Stephen Curry's shoulder while the others catch their breath. Staff confession: Stephen Curry is afraid of pigeons. Not 7-foot centers, no. Pigeons. The players come back running. Did someone set the locker room on fire?
This hidden prospect Dylan Harper can't deliver when it matters! Sometimes predictable game under pressure!
Darryn Peterson slams the pill in frustration! Tendency to rush on full display!
Stephen Curry leaves it all on the floor! This headliner with a killer instinct effort!
Victor Wembanyama, this giant, gets blocked in the clutch! A left-handed block denies this solid pro!
Stephen Curry, this do-it-all player, hangs the head. Tough loss despite nerves of steel effort.
Darryn Peterson turns back to look at the court one last time. Stephen Curry doesn't turn around. During the third quarter, I spilled my soup. Yes, I had soup in the booth. Don't judge. See you soon. Coming up: 'Extreme Couponing: Family of Eight at Walmart.' Double episode.
Matchday 5 — vs Phoenix No-Defense
98-119 (L)
And we're underway! Victor Wembanyama touches the Wilson first! This league veteran looks eager!
This newcomer AJ Dybantsa muscles up a sky hook but can't get it to fall!
Victor Wembanyama, this 7-footer, fumbles the entry pass from mid-range!
This player nobody saw coming Dylan Harper caught ball-watching! Backdoor cut for an easy score!
AJ Dybantsa blows past the leather with natural-born leadership. And it drops! Nothing you can do!
The players disappear into the tunnel. Dylan Harper asks for an ice pack. Confession: Dylan Harper tried yoga. Lasted two sessions before declaring it a combat sport. Here they come. Fresh as daisies. Or not. We'll find out soon enough.
Dylan Harper gets a technical for complaining! Lack of consistency on full display!
This diamond in the rough Darryn Peterson puts up a reverse layup but it won't fall! Off night!
This headliner Stephen Curry adjusts at halftime and comes out sharp! Adaptation!
Stephen Curry is running on pure willpower! This All-Star caliber talent refusing to quit!
AJ Dybantsa walks off in silence. This dude out of nowhere gave it all but it wasn't enough.
Victor Wembanyama takes off his shoes and carries them like a ghost. AJ Dybantsa follows the same path. I spent the evening looking for a stat that couldn't be found. It didn't exist. I made one up. That's all! Coming up: 'Hotel Hell: Airbnb With No Lock Edition.' Chills guaranteed.
Matchday 6 — vs Los Angeles Nursing-Home
99-114 (L)
Victor Wembanyama rises up into position! This respected competitor not wasting any time!
Dylan Harper can't hit the ocean right now! Another miss for this player nobody saw coming!
Dylan Harper with the lazy pass! Occasional mental lapses leading to easy points!
Darryn Peterson, this swiss-army-knife type, lets the shooter get free in transition! Costly lapse!
This who-is-this-guy player AJ Dybantsa with a picture-perfect layup! The crowd goes wild!
Halftime. AJ Dybantsa glances at his phone for two seconds and puts it back. Little scoop: AJ Dybantsa collects Pokemon cards. That Charizard is worth more than his first contract. Here they come. Fresh as daisies. Or not. We'll find out soon enough.
Darryn Peterson, this tweener, pounds the scorer's table! Defense that's basically a suggestion on full display!
Dylan Harper gets a clean look but limited stamina costs the bucket!
This dude putting the league on notice Victor Wembanyama adjusts the angle mid-drive! Natural-born leadership body control!
AJ Dybantsa is visibly tired! This dark horse needs a timeout badly!
This top-tier talent Stephen Curry shakes hands and moves on. In the end, defense that's basically a suggestion proved costly.
Victor Wembanyama presses his forehead against the tunnel glass. Darryn Peterson walks right past without noticing. On my end, I ate peanuts through the entire third quarter. Salt is my drug of choice. See you tomorrow. In the meantime, it's 'Who Wants to Marry My Goldfish.' Good luck with that.
Matchday 7 — vs Toronto Border-Patrol
112-101 (W)
Dylan Harper opens with a double-clutch layup! This guy nobody was talking about making an early statement!
Victor Wembanyama, this league veteran, drops a bucket from the right corner! Pure artistry!
This raw talent AJ Dybantsa forces the air ball with pressure! Suffocating!
AJ Dybantsa threads the needle! Beautiful assist at half court! Unreal court vision!
AJ Dybantsa dribbles the ball out of the trap! Scary good handles under pressure!
Halftime! Victor Wembanyama looks in the mirror and shakes his head. Fun fact: Victor Wembanyama is unbeatable at arm wrestling in the locker room. Even the center is scared. Back on the court. The coach changed the starting five, that'll be a surprise.
This elite player Stephen Curry goes to work off the pick and roll! A step-back three drops beautifully!
Dylan Harper crosses over in front of the home faithful! A Finals-like atmosphere! Beautiful!
This unknown gem Darryn Peterson tips it to the teammate! Night-in night-out consistency on full display!
This name that's buzzing Victor Wembanyama plays every possession like the last! Freakish explosiveness burning bright!
Victor Wembanyama can breathe! The win is secured, it's over!
Stephen Curry and Dylan Harper play rock-paper-scissors to decide who carries the ball. Stephen Curry loses. Yours truly survived this game without losing his voice. It was touch and go. That's a wrap for tonight. Coming up: 'The Amazing Race: Subway Line 13.' Viewer discretion advised.
Matchday 8 — vs Minnesota Ice-Wall
104-116 (L)
The game begins and AJ Dybantsa is ready! You can see natural-born leadership written all over his face!
AJ Dybantsa, this do-it-all player, gets stuffed trying a hook shot! Denied!
Darryn Peterson with a wild pass that sails out! This raw talent giving it away!
Darryn Peterson gets burned on the drive! Injury-prone body in lateral movement!
AJ Dybantsa takes off the rock with flair and hits a euro-step! Sensational!
Break. The coach is yelling in the tunnel, Victor Wembanyama picks up the pace. They say Victor Wembanyama eats honey straight from the jar during timeouts. The bear of the hardwood. The show goes on. Players take position. Silence. Whistle.
Victor Wembanyama, this tree of a man, throws the hands up! Exasperated along the baseline!
Dylan Harper forces a bad finger roll! This hidden prospect needs to trust teammates!
Stephen Curry crosses over with purpose every possession! This jersey-selling name chess master!
This diamond in the rough AJ Dybantsa signals to the bench! Needs a blow! Occasional mental lapses!
Victor Wembanyama sits alone on the bench. This player making noise processing the defeat.
Dylan Harper watches the crowd file out in silence. Victor Wembanyama prefers not to look. Fun fact: my sound engineer fell asleep during the second quarter. I woke him with an elbow. Thanks for tonight. And now: '60 Minutes: The Secrets of the Office Coffee Machine.'
Matchday 9 — vs Houston Blast-Off
104-117 (L)
This reliable star Stephen Curry comes out firing! A buzzer beater in the first minute!
AJ Dybantsa with the contested step-back three from the right corner! No good! Bad selection!
Darryn Peterson dribbles the Spalding right to the defense! Costly mistake by this diamond in the rough!
Victor Wembanyama gives up the back door! Heavy feet when overplaying!
Darryn Peterson, this tweener, uses every inch to deliver a catch-and-shoot triple!
Back to the locker room. AJ Dybantsa's shorts are torn but he couldn't care less. They say AJ Dybantsa eats honey straight from the jar during timeouts. The bear of the hardwood. Resetting the counters for this second half. Well, not really.
This established star Stephen Curry can't believe the call! Arguing with the ref!
Stephen Curry, this smooth operator, draws the foul but can't capitalize! Occasional mental lapses!
Darryn Peterson, this swiss-army-knife type, seals the defender for position! Fundamentals!
This hidden prospect AJ Dybantsa is a warrior but the body says no! The 48 regulation minutes of war!
Victor Wembanyama goes to work to the tunnel in disappointment. This respected competitor will learn from this.
Stephen Curry sits down on the hardwood, head on his knees. AJ Dybantsa puts a hand on his shoulder without saying a word. Yours truly held it together all evening without a bathroom break. That's professionalism. We're done here. Up next: 'Top Chef: Microwave Edition.' Bon appetit.
Matchday 10 — vs Denver Horse-Track
89-134 (L)
Game time! Dylan Harper and this unknown gem ready to put on a show at the court!
AJ Dybantsa misses the open look! This diamond in the rough can't believe it! Occasional mental lapses!
This top-tier talent Stephen Curry loses concentration and the damn ball with it!
Darryn Peterson, this smooth operator, loses the assignment! Easy bucket over shaky emotions under pressure!
Darryn Peterson drops the head after another miss! Defense that's basically a suggestion sapping the confidence!
Halftime. The doctor examines Victor Wembanyama's shoulder while the others catch their breath. Rumor has it Victor Wembanyama has been wearing the same lucky underwear for three seasons. The medical staff is concerned. Both teams return with fresh instructions from the coach.
Stephen Curry can't buy a bucket! Another miss on the low block! Frustrating!
This hidden prospect Dylan Harper calls for a sub! Can't go anymore! Lack of consistency taking its toll!
This seasoned vet Victor Wembanyama commits the offensive foul! Turnover back to the basket!
Victor Wembanyama, this league veteran, barks at the teammate! Shaky emotions under pressure taking over!
This hidden prospect Darryn Peterson leaves the temple of basketball with head held high. Fought to the end.
Darryn Peterson stares at the floor while AJ Dybantsa mutters something inaudible under his breath. My evening in one word? Epic. In two words? Epic and loud. Thanks for the game! And now, tonight's feature film: 'Fast and Furious 47: The Quest for a Parking Spot.'
Matchday 11 — vs New York Over-Timers
99-114 (L)
AJ Dybantsa fires up the crowd to open the game! This guy nobody was talking about starting strong!
Darryn Peterson, this do-it-all player, gets the separation but can't finish! Defense that's basically a suggestion!
Darryn Peterson, this tweener, gets the ball poked away! Hot head when protecting the pill!
Darryn Peterson, this all-around player, can't keep up with the speed! Tendency to force bad shots exposed!
Dylan Harper with the highlight-reel off-balance shot! This newcomer owning the moment!
The players disappear. Darryn Peterson has a makeshift neck brace out of a towel. Confession: Darryn Peterson tried yoga. Lasted two sessions before declaring it a combat sport. Here they come. Fresh as daisies. Or not. We'll find out soon enough.
Stephen Curry, this multi-time All-Star, refuses to high-five! Sometimes predictable game hurting the chemistry!
This franchise guy Stephen Curry rattles it out! So close yet so far from the left corner!
Stephen Curry, this tweener, exploits the mismatch facing the rim! Smart play!
Darryn Peterson spins but can't sustain the effort! Shaky emotions under pressure emptying the tank!
Dylan Harper, this dude out of nowhere, takes the loss hard. Lack of consistency at the wrong moments.
Stephen Curry snaps at the bench on his way out. Dylan Harper says nothing, but his look says everything. On my end, I ate peanuts through the entire third quarter. Salt is my drug of choice. Alright, good night! Up next: 'Secret Life of Your Mailman.' Episode 47.
Matchday 12 — vs Cleveland Twin-Towers
89-109 (L)
Dylan Harper, this tower, announced to huge cheers! Palpable tension!
This diamond in the rough Dylan Harper misfires again! Heavy feet could cost the team!
AJ Dybantsa charges right into the defender! Turnover! Hot head when controlling pace!
AJ Dybantsa gambles for the steal and pays the price! Heavy feet!
A buzzer-beater from Dylan Harper! This unknown gem just keeps delivering!
The players head in. AJ Dybantsa slips on the wet tunnel floor. Confession: AJ Dybantsa believes the away locker room is haunted. Refuses to go in alone. Back on the court. The coach changed the starting five, that'll be a surprise.
Darryn Peterson, this swiss-army-knife type, waves off the play call! Heavy feet hurting the team!
Darryn Peterson clanks another one off the rim! This potential breakout star needs to find rhythm!
This guy with a proven track record Victor Wembanyama uses the floater over this titan coverage! Smart!
Victor Wembanyama, this established player, with the tired turnover! Legs and mind fatigued!
AJ Dybantsa, this all-around player, trudges off the palace of hoops. Lessons to take from this one.
Darryn Peterson's complexion is grey. AJ Dybantsa's is red. Defeat comes in different colors. I spent the evening standing up and sitting down every thirty seconds. My Fitbit is congratulating me. Thanks for being here. Now put down the remote, it's time for 'Wheel of Misfortune.'
Matchday 13 — vs Boston Ring-Chasers
88-132 (L)
This dark horse AJ Dybantsa means business! Fast start from way beyond the arc!
Dylan Harper dunks but the shot rims out! Occasional mental lapses rears its ugly head!
This seasoned vet Victor Wembanyama dribbles off the foot! Unforced error!
Victor Wembanyama loses the screen battle! Hot head around the picks!
This guy everybody knows Stephen Curry hangs the head after the miss! Deflated from the right corner!
Halftime! Victor Wembanyama has the hardwood pattern imprinted on his elbow. Fun fact: Victor Wembanyama was voted best-looking player on the team. By his mom. In a poll she created herself. Second half! The crowd is on its feet, and so are the players.
A floater from Dylan Harper hits the iron! Injury-prone body under the spotlight!
Victor Wembanyama drives a step slower than usual! Hot head in the tank!
Darryn Peterson, this versatile guy, gets stripped from downtown! Ego the size of Texas exposed!
This potential breakout star Dylan Harper stares at the ref! That look could freeze water!
This hidden prospect AJ Dybantsa congratulates the opponent. Class in defeat from this hidden prospect.
Stephen Curry turns back to look at the court one last time. Dylan Harper doesn't turn around. Confession: I bet against my favorite team tonight. Superstition. It works half the time. Thanks for being here. Now put down the remote, it's time for 'Wheel of Misfortune.'
Matchday 14 — vs San Antonio Skyscrapers
90-134 (L)
This established star Stephen Curry in the starting lineup! Let's see what this established star brings!
Dylan Harper fires a euro-step off the pick and roll but can't connect! Ego the size of Texas showing!
Dylan Harper fires away carelessly and gets stripped! Another giveaway!
AJ Dybantsa gets crossed over! This player nobody saw coming left frozen from the left corner!
This surprise package Darryn Peterson gets into it with the opponent! Tempers flaring!
Coach calls everyone back. Victor Wembanyama drags his feet toward the tunnel. Intel: Victor Wembanyama asked San Antonio Skyscrapers for their energy drink recipe. They refused. Break's over, time for basketball. Let's go.
Victor Wembanyama, this next-level player, comes up empty! A hook shot off target on the low block!
This surprise package Darryn Peterson can't close out! The legs are shot under the basket!
Victor Wembanyama, this big fella, gets called for the carry! Tendency to rush in ball-handling!
Stephen Curry dunks away from the huddle! This headliner in a dark place mentally!
This who-is-this-guy player Darryn Peterson stares at the scoreboard. Not the outcome this who-is-this-guy player wanted.
Stephen Curry hurls his mouthguard into the trash. Dylan Harper keeps his in, chewing on the frustration. Your commentator lost his press badge during the game. I had to climb over a barrier. Alright, good night! Up next: 'Secret Life of Your Mailman.' Episode 47.
Matchday 15 — vs Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest
96-128 (L)
Dylan Harper, this colossus, sets the tone immediately! Natural-born leadership from the jump!
This guy nobody was talking about Dylan Harper short-arms a tear drop on the low block! Not enough lift!
Dylan Harper with the backcourt violation! This player nobody saw coming under too much pressure!
This guy with a proven track record Victor Wembanyama can't recover! Scored on driving to the hoop! Hot head!
Dylan Harper with the decisive euro-step! Ridiculous creativity when it matters most!
Halftime whistle! Stephen Curry slides down against the hallway wall. Confession: Stephen Curry calls mom after every loss. And every win. And also on Tuesdays. Alright, it's time. The second half waits for no one.
Dylan Harper, this guy nobody was talking about, yells at the coaching staff! Shaky emotions under pressure causing friction!
A free throw attempt by Stephen Curry falls short! Limited stamina in the legs!
Dylan Harper, this absolute unit, positions perfectly for the offensive rebound! That dawg mentality!
Dylan Harper explodes sluggishly! Sometimes predictable game catching up with this surprise package!
AJ Dybantsa pulls up past the media. This guy nobody was talking about not in the mood to talk.
Stephen Curry pushes away the reporter's microphone with a gesture. Darryn Peterson takes the interview and says 'not tonight'. My wife texted me: 'when are you coming home?' I said 'after the game.' That was two hours ago. That's all for tonight. And now: 'Deadliest Catch: Rush Hour on the Beltway.' Documentary.
My Team finishes #16 (2W-13L). Better luck next season! MVP: Victor Wembanyama.
Season journal
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