My dream starting five — basketball_team 🇺🇸
5 members · TeamBranch
Season Journal
Standings
| # | Team | W | L | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Detroit Engine-Roar | 14 | 1 | 28 |
| 2 | San Antonio Skyscrapers | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 3 | New York Over-Timers | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 4 | Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 5 | Boston Ring-Chasers | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 6 | Denver Horse-Track | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 7 | Cleveland Twin-Towers | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 8 | Toronto Border-Patrol | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 9 | Houston Blast-Off | 7 | 8 | 14 |
| 10 | My Team | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 11 | Minnesota Ice-Wall | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 12 | Los Angeles Nursing-Home | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 13 | Phoenix No-Defense | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 14 | Orlando Magic-Beans | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 15 | Miami Heart-Attack | 2 | 13 | 4 |
| 16 | Philadelphia Injury-Report | 1 | 14 | 2 |
Pre-season
Get comfortable because tonight, we are about to witness something special. I can feel it. It's in the air, it's in the eyes, it's in the low rumble of 20,000 people who know they're about to live through a moment. The franchise about to step onto this court has seen it all, lived it all: legendary triple-doubles, buzzer-beating heartbreaks, 15-point fourth-quarter comebacks, and losses that shatter careers. But they're here, still and always, with that burning desire to tear everything apart. The team with no name, baby! Yeah sure, it's a team sport, we all agree on that. But when you've got Dennis Rodman on your roster, the word "team" basically means him plus four guys who pass him the ball. Standing at 202 cm, a first step more explosive than a rocket launch, and a fadeaway so silky that even the defenders applaud as they watch him score. Scouts had this dude flagged at 14. By 16, he was beating pros. Today? He's embarrassing them. But what truly terrifies opponents isn't his highlights, it's his head. Look into his eyes during crunch time. There's nothing there. No stress, no doubt, just a killer's stare that says "give me the ball and get the hell out of the way." Opposing coaches have tried double-teams, triple-teams, zone defense, trash talk, Hack-a-Shaq... Nothing works. The man is programmed for clutch moments. It's genetic, and there's not a damn thing anyone can do about it. The budget, let's talk about it. Or actually, let's not, because it'll make you dizzy. We're beyond the luxury tax, beyond the second apron, we're in a zone that even the league's tax accountants struggle to calculate. The owner burns cash like others burn firewood, and he doesn't bat an eye. Every season this team doesn't win the title is a financial scandal. The pressure is absolute, the talent is maximal, and the margin for error is zero. Welcome to the world of superteams, where failure isn't an option, it's a public humiliation.
Matchday 1 — vs Detroit Engine-Roar
86-131 (L)
Tip-off! Tracy McGrady gets us started! Let's go!
Stephen Curry forces up a double-clutch layup over the defense! Shaky emotions under pressure! Bad decision!
Tracy McGrady throws it into the stands! What was that from this player on the come-up!
Dennis Rodman reacts too late to rotate! Hot head on the help side!
Dennis Rodman mouths off and picks up a T! Limited stamina taking over!
Break! Tracy McGrady grabs an ice bag and slaps it on his knee. Did you know Tracy McGrady started basketball because he was terrible at soccer? Sometimes failure leads to greatness. Both teams return with fresh instructions from the coach.
Darryn Peterson misfires from the left corner! This newcomer searching for answers!
This jersey-selling name Dennis Rodman has heavy legs! The pace has been brutal!
This jersey-selling name Dennis Rodman with turnover number points! Shaky emotions under pressure is piling up!
Darryn Peterson storms to the bench! This total unknown is visibly upset!
Dennis Rodman reflects on what could have been. Tendency to force bad shots the difference tonight.
Tracy McGrady's gaze is cold, distant. Stephen Curry's gaze is hot, angry. I spent this game nervously chewing gum. I'm on my seventh piece. Off to bed! Or stay for 'Real Housewives of the DMV.' The line is around the block.
Matchday 2 — vs Miami Heart-Attack
126-98 (W)
Stephen Curry, this franchise guy, draws first blood! An alley-oop to start!
Darryn Peterson goes coast to coast for a step-back three! This hidden prospect is relentless!
Tracy McGrady with the help-side brilliant anticipation! This name that's buzzing always in position!
Dennis Rodman with the transition assist! This max-contract guy pushing the pace with pure God-given talent!
This big-name player Dennis Rodman switches defensive assignments on the fly! Next-level basketball IQ!
First half is done. Dennis Rodman is chugging Gatorade like it's water. The staff told me Dennis Rodman sings in the shower. Badly. Very badly. We're back! Flushed cheeks and hungry eyes on the players.
This newcomer Darryn Peterson is automatic along the baseline! A free throw drops again!
You can feel a hostile crowd through the screen! Tracy McGrady in the spotlight!
Darryn Peterson attacks the pick-and-roll to perfection! Chemistry on display!
Ben Wallace dribbles like a player possessed! Silky smooth technique unleashed!
Ben Wallace, this next-level player, with the post-game interview smile! An off-the-charts basketball IQ all night!
Dennis Rodman blows a kiss to the camera. Darryn Peterson blows twelve. Stephen Curry blocks the lens. Yours truly survived this game without losing his voice. It was touch and go. That's it for tonight. Coming up: 'True Confessions: I Put Ketchup on Pasta.'
Matchday 3 — vs Orlando Magic-Beans
90-102 (L)
This seasoned vet Ben Wallace comes out aggressive! Opens with a fadeaway jumper from the left corner!
This well-respected player Ben Wallace with a rare miss from downtown! Even the best stumble!
This hungry young player Darryn Peterson with a careless turnover! Gift-wrapped for the opponent!
This surprise package Darryn Peterson gives up the offensive rebound! Injury-prone body when boxing out!
Stephen Curry knocks down a fadeaway jumper driving to the hoop! Ice in the veins!
Break. Stephen Curry asks the medical staff for coffee. Request denied. They say Stephen Curry eats honey straight from the jar during timeouts. The bear of the hardwood. We resume. Eyes locked in, jaws clenched.
Dennis Rodman goes to work and kicks the stanchion! This jersey-selling name losing composure!
This up-and-coming baller Tracy McGrady misses the mark! A pull-up jumper goes begging from the left corner!
Ben Wallace reads the defense perfectly! A gym-rat work ethic and a sky-high basketball IQ!
Ben Wallace is gassed! This up-and-coming baller bent over at half court! Shaky emotions under pressure catching up!
Tracy McGrady had the chances but couldn't convert. This league veteran left wanting.
Darryn Peterson clenches his left fist, unclenches, clenches again. Stephen Curry fidgets with his wristband nervously. On my end, I ate three chocolate bars during the timeouts. Sports make you hungry, even in the booth. See you tomorrow. In the meantime, it's 'Who Wants to Marry My Goldfish.' Good luck with that.
Matchday 4 — vs Philadelphia Injury-Report
113-96 (W)
Stephen Curry steps back onto the floor! The crowd roars for this certified bucket!
This guy with a proven track record Ben Wallace does it again! A bucket with effortless precision!
This solid pro Tracy McGrady with the weak-side rebound in traffic! Incredible help!
Darryn Peterson, this tweener, runs the offense with next-level basketball IQ! Beautiful passing!
Stephen Curry spaces the floor perfectly! Great read of the system!
End of the second quarter. Darryn Peterson is breathing so loud you can hear it from here. Little secret: Darryn Peterson listens to Celine Dion to focus. I repeat, Celine Dion. Back to business. The players bounce around to warm up.
Ben Wallace, this league veteran, drops a half-court heave facing the rim! Pure artistry!
Ben Wallace, this tree of a man, gets the standing ovation! A crowd fully behind them!
Darryn Peterson puts ego aside! The team comes first for this raw talent!
Dennis Rodman, this certified bucket, answers every challenge! That dawg mentality never fading!
Ben Wallace, this big fella, takes the final bow! A hug with the coach! Dominant display!
Ben Wallace cries tears of joy in Dennis Rodman's arms. Stephen Curry is also crying but nobody knows why. While you were watching the game, I was desperately searching for my pen. Still haven't found it. Until next time! Up next: 'Kitchen Nightmares: Corporate Cafeteria.' This is gonna be good.
Matchday 5 — vs Phoenix No-Defense
119-96 (W)
Dennis Rodman, this giant, takes the court! The standing ovation is electric!
Dennis Rodman, this tower, uses every inch to deliver a floater!
Stephen Curry, this versatile guy, contests everything in the paint! Pure God-given talent on full display!
Ben Wallace with the outlet pass! Coast-to-coast assist! That dawg mentality on that one!
Stephen Curry, this established star, draws the double team and finds the open man! High IQ!
Halftime! Stephen Curry looks in the mirror and shakes his head. Did you know Stephen Curry keeps a photo of his dog in his right shoe? It's a Bichon. Back on the hardwood. The tension has gone up a notch.
Tracy McGrady, this player making noise, knifes through for a buzzer beater from mid-range! Wow!
Deafening noise! Darryn Peterson dribbles and the building shakes!
This certified bucket Stephen Curry unites the locker room! Silky smooth technique captain's mentality!
Stephen Curry, this do-it-all player, is on a mission! Nothing can stop this headliner right now!
Tracy McGrady, this legit talent, embraces the teammates! A finger to the lips to hush the crowd! Sweet victory!
Tracy McGrady pretends to faint from happiness. Ben Wallace pretends to call 911. Tonight I chewed through two pens. The office supply budget is going to explode. That's all! Coming up: 'Hotel Hell: Airbnb With No Lock Edition.' Chills guaranteed.
Matchday 6 — vs Los Angeles Nursing-Home
115-101 (W)
Stephen Curry, this combo guard, sets the tone immediately! Natural-born leadership from the jump!
Tracy McGrady pulls up the ball with purpose! A deep three! This next-level player means business!
Darryn Peterson digs in defensively! Nerves of steel when the team needs stops!
This certified bucket Dennis Rodman creates for others! Unselfish play with a killer instinct!
Dennis Rodman, this 7-footer, exploits the mismatch at the buzzer! Smart play!
Halftime! Tracy McGrady walks barefoot on the cold tunnel tiles. Did you know Tracy McGrady started basketball because he was terrible at soccer? Sometimes failure leads to greatness. Jump ball to restart. Let the second half begin!
Ben Wallace dribbles and fires a tear drop! This tree of a man lighting it up!
Tracy McGrady, this mountain of a man, gestures for more noise! The crowd goes nuts!
Ben Wallace sacrifices the body taking the charge! This next-level player ultimate teammate!
Dennis Rodman, this titan, embodies the spirit of competition! What a show!
Tracy McGrady pumps the fist as the buzzer goes! This player making noise savors the win!
Dennis Rodman jumps so high from joy he nearly touches the scoreboard. Almost. Confession: I nearly fell asleep during the second quarter. The third woke me right up. Thanks everyone! Up next: 'Ice Road Truckers: Uber Eats Delivery on a Rainy Night.'
Matchday 7 — vs Toronto Border-Patrol
117-88 (W)
This franchise guy Stephen Curry in the starting lineup! Let's see what this franchise guy brings!
Ben Wallace explodes the Spalding with flair and hits a layup! Sensational!
Dennis Rodman with the suffocating defense! This established star is a wall out there!
Ben Wallace dribbles and dishes! Gorgeous feed at the buzzer! Natural-born leadership!
Tracy McGrady, this beanpole, sets a brick-wall screen! Insane court vision on full display!
Halftime! Tracy McGrady has the hardwood pattern imprinted on his elbow. Quick anecdote about Tracy McGrady: apparently he eats pasta with ketchup before every game. To each their own ritual. Both teams emerge from the tunnel. The second half can begin.
Ben Wallace strings together a tear drop under the basket. Natural-born leadership on full display!
You can cut the tension with a knife! A Playoff atmosphere as Tracy McGrady steps up!
This dude putting the league on notice Tracy McGrady claps for the rookie! Encouragement from this dude putting the league on notice!
This world-class player Dennis Rodman is the heartbeat of this team! A moment of truth leadership!
This newcomer Darryn Peterson wraps up a sensational performance! Victory is sweet!
Ben Wallace does a handstand. Dennis Rodman holds him by the feet. The crowd holds its breath. I spent this entire evening standing because my chair has been broken for three games. Nobody fixes it. That's it for tonight. Coming up: 'True Confessions: I Put Ketchup on Pasta.'
Matchday 8 — vs Minnesota Ice-Wall
89-104 (L)
This dude out of nowhere Darryn Peterson opens the scoring! A pull-up jumper! Early advantage!
An off-balance shot attempt by Stephen Curry falls short! Tendency to force bad shots in the legs!
Stephen Curry with a wild pass that sails out! This headliner giving it away!
This bonafide star Stephen Curry misjudges the passing lane! Easy assist through!
This reliable star Dennis Rodman converts facing the rim! A bank shot right on cue!
The players disappear. Tracy McGrady has a makeshift neck brace out of a towel. Bus driver's confession: Tracy McGrady raps gibberish during road trips. Loudly. We resume. Eyes locked in, jaws clenched.
Ben Wallace, this player making noise, barks at the teammate! Heavy feet taking over!
Tracy McGrady launches but it's well off! Hot head under fatigue!
This up-and-coming baller Ben Wallace sets the back screen! Pure God-given talent off-ball contribution!
Stephen Curry is cramping up! This established star trying to shake it off! Shaky emotions under pressure!
This dude putting the league on notice Ben Wallace congratulates the opponent. Class in defeat from this dude putting the league on notice.
Darryn Peterson takes a sip of water and spits it right back out. Dennis Rodman doesn't drink. Throat too tight. On my end, the AC in the booth broke down. I sweated more than Dennis Rodman. We're packing up. Time for the late-night feature: 'Unsolved Mysteries: Where Is My Left Sock.'
Matchday 9 — vs Houston Blast-Off
95-100 (L)
Stephen Curry opens with a pull-up jumper! This big-name player making an early statement!
Stephen Curry, this certified bucket, sends the pill wide! The touch is off tonight!
Ben Wallace throws it away! Heavy feet under pressure from the left corner!
Ben Wallace gets caught flat-footed! This established player beaten to the spot!
Tracy McGrady dishes through traffic and scores! Incredible finish!
Halftime whistle. Ben Wallace has dried blood on his elbow but plays tough. Confession: Ben Wallace tried yoga. Lasted two sessions before declaring it a combat sport. The players are back. Some look fresh, others... Not so much.
Tracy McGrady dunks the towel! This name that's buzzing showing heavy feet!
Ben Wallace penetrates and fires but misses everything! Hot head tonight!
Tracy McGrady dunks into the right spacing! Freakish explosiveness and elite court awareness!
Stephen Curry, this All-Star caliber talent, is dragging! The allotted time minutes taking their toll!
Ben Wallace walks off in silence. This hooper's hooper gave it all but it wasn't enough.
Darryn Peterson chews his nails on the bench. Stephen Curry stares at his shoes like they're the source of the problem. Tonight I yelled so loud the guy in the next booth asked me to keep it down. Mid-game. Thanks for the game! And now, tonight's feature film: 'Fast and Furious 47: The Quest for a Parking Spot.'
Matchday 10 — vs Denver Horse-Track
101-91 (W)
This player on the come-up Ben Wallace means business! Fast start in transition!
Tracy McGrady, this tree of a man, with a silky and-one driving to the hoop! Smooth operator!
Dennis Rodman plays the passing angle perfectly! Deflection by this big-name player!
Darryn Peterson, this raw talent, dishes to the hot hand! Smart basketball!
This headliner Stephen Curry calls the audible! Changed the play and it works!
The locker room. Ben Wallace sprawls out full-length on the bench. Fun fact: Ben Wallace was voted best-looking player on the team. By his mom. In a poll she created herself. Let's go, we're back. The crowd claps in rhythm.
Dennis Rodman buries a catch-and-shoot triple off the pick and roll! This franchise guy is on fire tonight!
Dennis Rodman, this guy everybody knows, waves the crowd up! A hostile crowd rising!
Darryn Peterson celebrates the team's success! This newcomer knows together is better!
Dennis Rodman has found another gear! This multi-time All-Star shifting into overdrive!
Dennis Rodman tosses the basketball in the air! An ice-cold stare at the opposing bench! This headliner mission accomplished!
Tracy McGrady and Dennis Rodman share a 30-second hug. Ben Wallace wants in. Gets pushed away. Your commentator lost his press badge during the game. I had to climb over a barrier. See you soon. Coming up: 'Extreme Couponing: Family of Eight at Walmart.' Double episode.
Matchday 11 — vs New York Over-Timers
94-116 (L)
Dennis Rodman takes the floor with that look in his eyes! He came to play tonight!
Dennis Rodman fires a sky hook at the top of the key but can't connect! Shaky emotions under pressure showing!
This seasoned vet Tracy McGrady dribbles off the foot! Unforced error!
Dennis Rodman gives up the back door! Injury-prone body when overplaying!
Darryn Peterson, this hidden prospect, threads the needle for a thunderous slam from the right corner!
Finally a breather. Ben Wallace has calf cramps, the physio rushes over. Rumor has it Ben Wallace has been wearing the same lucky underwear for three seasons. The medical staff is concerned. We're back! The coach drew stuff on the whiteboard, let's see if it works.
Darryn Peterson drops the head after another miss! Lack of consistency sapping the confidence!
Stephen Curry, this All-Star caliber talent, with the shot-clock heave! No good back to the basket!
This headliner Stephen Curry uses the floater over this do-it-all player coverage! Smart!
Stephen Curry, this multi-time All-Star, with the tired turnover! Legs and mind fatigued!
Tracy McGrady, this mammoth, hangs the head. Tough loss despite next-level basketball IQ effort.
Darryn Peterson takes off his shoes and carries them like a ghost. Dennis Rodman follows the same path. I spent the fourth quarter standing. Not by choice. My chair gave out in the third. Thanks everyone! Up next: 'Ice Road Truckers: Uber Eats Delivery on a Rainy Night.'
Matchday 12 — vs Cleveland Twin-Towers
108-110 (L)
Dennis Rodman fades away with energy from the opening whistle! This world-class player locked in!
A buzzer beater from Darryn Peterson on the low block! That's a certified bucket-getter!
Dennis Rodman, this mountain of a man, can't keep up with the speed! Occasional mental lapses exposed!
Ben Wallace can't buy a bucket! Another miss from the right corner! Frustrating!
Stephen Curry takes the lead! A bucket! The comeback is complete! Unbelievable!
Cut! Halftime. Dennis Rodman's jersey is completely drenched in sweat. Confession: Dennis Rodman tried yoga. Lasted two sessions before declaring it a combat sport. Back on the floor, faces full of determination.
Tracy McGrady with the ill-advised pass in the extra period! Intercepted!
Darryn Peterson, this hungry young player, with the frustrated foul! Hot head in tough moments!
This diamond in the rough Darryn Peterson proves the critics wrong! A signature move vindication!
Tracy McGrady forces the hero ball and misses! This solid pro with lack of consistency!
Darryn Peterson steps back past the media. This surprise package not in the mood to talk.
Darryn Peterson walks toward the tunnel without a word. Tracy McGrady stares at the scoreboard as if it might change. On my end, the AC in the booth broke down. I sweated more than Tracy McGrady. That's all for tonight. And now: 'Deadliest Catch: Rush Hour on the Beltway.' Documentary.
Matchday 13 — vs Boston Ring-Chasers
90-117 (L)
Darryn Peterson spins into position! This potential breakout star not wasting any time!
Stephen Curry, this bonafide star, can't convert the fast break! Wasted opportunity!
Ben Wallace blows past the rock right to the defense! Costly mistake by this league veteran!
Tracy McGrady gets burned on the drive! Sometimes predictable game in lateral movement!
A bucket by Stephen Curry! The building is rocking! This jersey-selling name takeover!
Rest. Darryn Peterson buries his head in a wet towel and doesn't move. Juicy anecdote: Darryn Peterson was caught dancing the Macarena in the showers. Alone. Back for the second half. The coach slammed his fist on the table.
Ben Wallace gets a technical for complaining! Heavy feet on full display!
A step-back three from Stephen Curry catches the back rim and pops out! So close!
Tracy McGrady fades away to the weak side! This player on the come-up exploiting the rotation!
This seasoned vet Tracy McGrady can barely get up the court! Fatigue setting in!
This player on the come-up Ben Wallace stares at the scoreboard. Not the outcome this player on the come-up wanted.
Dennis Rodman pulls his cap down over his eyes. Tracy McGrady doesn't have a cap, and it shows. Tonight I chewed through two pens. The office supply budget is going to explode. That's it for tonight. Coming up: 'Nailed It: Cakes Ruined by My Mother-in-Law.'
Matchday 14 — vs San Antonio Skyscrapers
96-119 (L)
The game begins and Darryn Peterson is ready! You can see a gym-rat work ethic written all over his face!
Stephen Curry, this solid build, gets stuffed trying a free throw! Denied!
Stephen Curry, this tweener, telegraphs the pass! Intercepted in the paint!
This legit talent Tracy McGrady picks up the cheap foul! Heavy feet showing!
Ben Wallace, this next-level player, with the exclamation-point sky hook! Game changer!
Halftime. Dennis Rodman wolfs down an energy bar in two bites. Small detail: Dennis Rodman wears mismatched socks every game. Calls it a strategy. Both teams retake the hardwood. Everything is still up for grabs.
Tracy McGrady launches angrily after the turnover! This league veteran spiraling!
Darryn Peterson misfires from the left corner! Even this rising star has off nights!
Ben Wallace, this hooper's hooper, manipulates the defense with the eyes! Freakish explosiveness!
Ben Wallace blows past sluggishly! Hot head catching up with this well-respected player!
This who-is-this-guy player Darryn Peterson shakes hands and moves on. In the end, hot head proved costly.
Darryn Peterson stares at his hands like he doesn't recognize them. Stephen Curry exhales. Again. And again. I learned backstage that Stephen Curry also does volunteer firefighter on weekends. That explains those reflexes. Sleep tight! Coming up: 'Forensic Files: Who Finished the Milk Without Telling Anyone.'
Matchday 15 — vs Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest
91-118 (L)
This seasoned vet Ben Wallace catches the basketball early and goes to work! Opening salvo!
Tracy McGrady, this mountain of a man, double-clutches and misses! Indecision from this player making noise!
Tracy McGrady coughs up the leather! Lack of consistency strikes again from the right corner!
Stephen Curry overcommits and gets beat! Occasional mental lapses when reading the play!
Tracy McGrady, this walking skyscraper, elevates for a monster finger roll!
End of the first act. Tracy McGrady is puffing like a steam engine heading back. Anecdote: Tracy McGrady once shot at the wrong basket during warm-ups. Nobody has forgotten. The players are back. Some look fresh, others... Not so much.
Ben Wallace picks up the second technical! This league veteran ejected! Defense that's basically a suggestion!
Darryn Peterson clanks another one off the rim! This unknown gem needs to find rhythm!
This well-respected player Ben Wallace recognizes the zone and attacks the gap! Genius!
Ben Wallace, this solid pro, making mistakes from exhaustion! The body is failing!
Ben Wallace, this hooper's hooper, takes the loss hard. Tendency to rush at the wrong moments.
Tracy McGrady takes off his shoes and carries them like a ghost. Dennis Rodman follows the same path. As for me, I powered through three coffees and a gas station sandwich. The glamorous life of sports journalism. Good night! And now: 'Naked and Afraid: Lost in the Shopping Mall.'
My Team ends the season #10 with a 6W-9L record. Season MVP: Dennis Rodman.
Season journal
💬 💬 Comments & Suggestions (0)
💭
No comments yet. Be the first to share your opinion!
.jpg%3Fwidth%3D150&w=150)