My dream starting five — basketball_team 🇺🇸
5 members · TeamBranch
Season Journal
Standings
| # | Team | W | L | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Detroit Engine-Roar | 15 | 0 | 30 |
| 2 | Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest | 13 | 2 | 26 |
| 3 | New York Over-Timers | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 4 | San Antonio Skyscrapers | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 5 | Boston Ring-Chasers | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 6 | Denver Horse-Track | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 7 | Cleveland Twin-Towers | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 8 | Houston Blast-Off | 7 | 8 | 14 |
| 9 | Toronto Border-Patrol | 7 | 8 | 14 |
| 10 | My Team | 7 | 8 | 14 |
| 11 | Minnesota Ice-Wall | 7 | 8 | 14 |
| 12 | Los Angeles Nursing-Home | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 13 | Orlando Magic-Beans | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 14 | Phoenix No-Defense | 3 | 12 | 6 |
| 15 | Philadelphia Injury-Report | 2 | 13 | 4 |
| 16 | Miami Heart-Attack | 2 | 13 | 4 |
Pre-season
Get comfortable because tonight, we are about to witness something special. I can feel it. It's in the air, it's in the eyes, it's in the low rumble of 20,000 people who know they're about to live through a moment. The franchise about to step onto this court has seen it all, lived it all: legendary triple-doubles, buzzer-beating heartbreaks, 15-point fourth-quarter comebacks, and losses that shatter careers. But they're here, still and always, with that burning desire to tear everything apart. The team with no name, baby! Yeah sure, it's a team sport, we all agree on that. But when you've got Hakeem Olajuwon on your roster, the word "team" basically means him plus four guys who pass him the ball. Standing at 213 cm, a first step more explosive than a rocket launch, and a fadeaway so silky that even the defenders applaud as they watch him score. Scouts had this dude flagged at 14. By 16, he was beating pros. Today? He's embarrassing them. But what truly terrifies opponents isn't his highlights, it's his head. Look into his eyes during crunch time. There's nothing there. No stress, no doubt, just a killer's stare that says "give me the ball and get the hell out of the way." Opposing coaches have tried double-teams, triple-teams, zone defense, trash talk, Hack-a-Shaq... Nothing works. The man is programmed for clutch moments. It's genetic, and there's not a damn thing anyone can do about it. The budget, let's talk about it. Or actually, let's not, because it'll make you dizzy. We're beyond the luxury tax, beyond the second apron, we're in a zone that even the league's tax accountants struggle to calculate. The owner burns cash like others burn firewood, and he doesn't bat an eye. Every season this team doesn't win the title is a financial scandal. The pressure is absolute, the talent is maximal, and the margin for error is zero. Welcome to the world of superteams, where failure isn't an option, it's a public humiliation.
Matchday 1 — vs Detroit Engine-Roar
86-131 (L)
Tip-off! Kawhi Leonard gets us started! Let's go!
Reggie Miller forces up a double-clutch layup over the defense! Shaky emotions under pressure! Bad decision!
Kawhi Leonard throws it into the stands! What was that from this player on the come-up!
Robbie Avila reacts too late to rotate! Hot head on the help side!
Robbie Avila mouths off and picks up a T! Limited stamina taking over!
Break! Kawhi Leonard grabs an ice bag and slaps it on his knee. Did you know Kawhi Leonard started basketball because he was terrible at soccer? Sometimes failure leads to greatness. Both teams return with fresh instructions from the coach.
Rajon Rondo misfires from the left corner! This name that's buzzing searching for answers!
This newcomer Robbie Avila has heavy legs! The pace has been brutal!
This newcomer Robbie Avila with turnover number points! Shaky emotions under pressure is piling up!
Rajon Rondo storms to the bench! This player on the come-up is visibly upset!
Robbie Avila reflects on what could have been. Tendency to force bad shots the difference tonight.
Kawhi Leonard's gaze is cold, distant. Reggie Miller's gaze is hot, angry. I spent this game nervously chewing gum. I'm on my seventh piece. Off to bed! Or stay for 'Real Housewives of the DMV.' The line is around the block.
Matchday 2 — vs Miami Heart-Attack
125-99 (W)
Reggie Miller, this league veteran, draws first blood! An alley-oop to start!
Rajon Rondo goes coast to coast for a step-back three! This solid pro is relentless!
Kawhi Leonard with the help-side brilliant anticipation! This name that's buzzing always in position!
Robbie Avila with the transition assist! This potential breakout star pushing the pace with pure God-given talent!
This dude out of nowhere Robbie Avila switches defensive assignments on the fly! Next-level basketball IQ!
First half is done. Robbie Avila is chugging Gatorade like it's water. The staff told me Robbie Avila sings in the shower. Badly. Very badly. We're back! Flushed cheeks and hungry eyes on the players.
This name that's buzzing Rajon Rondo is automatic along the baseline! A free throw drops again!
You can feel a hostile crowd through the screen! Kawhi Leonard in the spotlight!
Rajon Rondo attacks the pick-and-roll to perfection! Chemistry on display!
Hakeem Olajuwon dribbles like a player possessed! Silky smooth technique unleashed!
Hakeem Olajuwon, this multi-time All-Star, with the post-game interview smile! An off-the-charts basketball IQ all night!
Robbie Avila blows a kiss to the camera. Rajon Rondo blows twelve. Reggie Miller blocks the lens. Yours truly survived this game without losing his voice. It was touch and go. That's it for tonight. Coming up: 'True Confessions: I Put Ketchup on Pasta.'
Matchday 3 — vs Orlando Magic-Beans
89-103 (L)
This elite player Hakeem Olajuwon comes out aggressive! Opens with a fadeaway jumper from the left corner!
This All-Star caliber talent Hakeem Olajuwon with a rare miss from downtown! Even the best stumble!
This player making noise Rajon Rondo with a careless turnover! Gift-wrapped for the opponent!
This league veteran Rajon Rondo gives up the offensive rebound! Injury-prone body when boxing out!
Reggie Miller knocks down a fadeaway jumper driving to the hoop! Ice in the veins!
Break. Reggie Miller asks the medical staff for coffee. Request denied. They say Reggie Miller eats honey straight from the jar during timeouts. The bear of the hardwood. We resume. Eyes locked in, jaws clenched.
Robbie Avila goes to work and kicks the stanchion! This newcomer losing composure!
This up-and-coming baller Kawhi Leonard misses the mark! A pull-up jumper goes begging from the left corner!
Hakeem Olajuwon reads the defense perfectly! A gym-rat work ethic and a sky-high basketball IQ!
Hakeem Olajuwon is gassed! This max-contract guy bent over at half court! Shaky emotions under pressure catching up!
Kawhi Leonard had the chances but couldn't convert. This league veteran left wanting.
Rajon Rondo clenches his left fist, unclenches, clenches again. Reggie Miller fidgets with his wristband nervously. On my end, I ate three chocolate bars during the timeouts. Sports make you hungry, even in the booth. See you tomorrow. In the meantime, it's 'Who Wants to Marry My Goldfish.' Good luck with that.
Matchday 4 — vs Philadelphia Injury-Report
112-97 (W)
Reggie Miller steps back onto the floor! The crowd roars for this dude putting the league on notice!
This reliable star Hakeem Olajuwon does it again! A bucket with effortless precision!
This solid pro Kawhi Leonard with the weak-side rebound in traffic! Incredible help!
Rajon Rondo, this tweener, runs the offense with next-level basketball IQ! Beautiful passing!
Reggie Miller spaces the floor perfectly! Great read of the system!
End of the second quarter. Rajon Rondo is breathing so loud you can hear it from here. Little secret: Rajon Rondo listens to Celine Dion to focus. I repeat, Celine Dion. Back to business. The players bounce around to warm up.
Hakeem Olajuwon, this franchise guy, drops a half-court heave facing the rim! Pure artistry!
Hakeem Olajuwon, this tree of a man, gets the standing ovation! A crowd fully behind them!
Rajon Rondo puts ego aside! The team comes first for this well-respected player!
Robbie Avila, this rising star, answers every challenge! That dawg mentality never fading!
Hakeem Olajuwon, this big fella, takes the final bow! A hug with the coach! Dominant display!
Hakeem Olajuwon cries tears of joy in Robbie Avila's arms. Reggie Miller is also crying but nobody knows why. While you were watching the game, I was desperately searching for my pen. Still haven't found it. Until next time! Up next: 'Kitchen Nightmares: Corporate Cafeteria.' This is gonna be good.
Matchday 5 — vs Phoenix No-Defense
118-97 (W)
Robbie Avila, this versatile guy, takes the court! The standing ovation is electric!
Robbie Avila, this versatile guy, uses every inch to deliver a floater!
Reggie Miller, this giant, contests everything in the paint! Pure God-given talent on full display!
Hakeem Olajuwon with the outlet pass! Coast-to-coast assist! That dawg mentality on that one!
Reggie Miller, this player making noise, draws the double team and finds the open man! High IQ!
Halftime! Reggie Miller looks in the mirror and shakes his head. Did you know Reggie Miller keeps a photo of his dog in his right shoe? It's a Bichon. Back on the hardwood. The tension has gone up a notch.
Kawhi Leonard, this player making noise, knifes through for a buzzer beater from mid-range! Wow!
Deafening noise! Rajon Rondo dribbles and the building shakes!
This dude putting the league on notice Reggie Miller unites the locker room! Silky smooth technique captain's mentality!
Reggie Miller, this absolute unit, is on a mission! Nothing can stop this player on the come-up right now!
Kawhi Leonard, this legit talent, embraces the teammates! A finger to the lips to hush the crowd! Sweet victory!
Kawhi Leonard pretends to faint from happiness. Hakeem Olajuwon pretends to call 911. Tonight I chewed through two pens. The office supply budget is going to explode. That's all! Coming up: 'Hotel Hell: Airbnb With No Lock Edition.' Chills guaranteed.
Matchday 6 — vs Los Angeles Nursing-Home
114-102 (W)
Reggie Miller, this 7-footer, sets the tone immediately! Natural-born leadership from the jump!
Kawhi Leonard pulls up the ball with purpose! A deep three! This next-level player means business!
Rajon Rondo digs in defensively! Nerves of steel when the team needs stops!
This rising star Robbie Avila creates for others! Unselfish play with a killer instinct!
Robbie Avila, this combo guard, exploits the mismatch at the buzzer! Smart play!
Halftime! Kawhi Leonard walks barefoot on the cold tunnel tiles. Did you know Kawhi Leonard started basketball because he was terrible at soccer? Sometimes failure leads to greatness. Jump ball to restart. Let the second half begin!
Hakeem Olajuwon dribbles and fires a tear drop! This tree of a man lighting it up!
Kawhi Leonard, this mountain of a man, gestures for more noise! The crowd goes nuts!
Hakeem Olajuwon sacrifices the body taking the charge! This multi-time All-Star ultimate teammate!
Robbie Avila, this all-around player, embodies the spirit of competition! What a show!
Kawhi Leonard pumps the fist as the buzzer goes! This player making noise savors the win!
Robbie Avila jumps so high from joy he nearly touches the scoreboard. Almost. Confession: I nearly fell asleep during the second quarter. The third woke me right up. Thanks everyone! Up next: 'Ice Road Truckers: Uber Eats Delivery on a Rainy Night.'
Matchday 7 — vs Toronto Border-Patrol
115-90 (W)
This league veteran Reggie Miller in the starting lineup! Let's see what this league veteran brings!
Hakeem Olajuwon explodes the Spalding with flair and hits a layup! Sensational!
Robbie Avila with the suffocating defense! This hungry young player is a wall out there!
Hakeem Olajuwon dribbles and dishes! Gorgeous feed at the buzzer! Natural-born leadership!
Kawhi Leonard, this beanpole, sets a brick-wall screen! Insane court vision on full display!
Halftime! Kawhi Leonard has the hardwood pattern imprinted on his elbow. Quick anecdote about Kawhi Leonard: apparently he eats pasta with ketchup before every game. To each their own ritual. Both teams emerge from the tunnel. The second half can begin.
Hakeem Olajuwon strings together a tear drop under the basket. Natural-born leadership on full display!
You can cut the tension with a knife! A Playoff atmosphere as Kawhi Leonard steps up!
This dude putting the league on notice Kawhi Leonard claps for the rookie! Encouragement from this dude putting the league on notice!
This hidden prospect Robbie Avila is the heartbeat of this team! A moment of truth leadership!
This name that's buzzing Rajon Rondo wraps up a sensational performance! Victory is sweet!
Hakeem Olajuwon does a handstand. Robbie Avila holds him by the feet. The crowd holds its breath. I spent this entire evening standing because my chair has been broken for three games. Nobody fixes it. That's it for tonight. Coming up: 'True Confessions: I Put Ketchup on Pasta.'
Matchday 8 — vs Minnesota Ice-Wall
88-105 (L)
This legit talent Rajon Rondo opens the scoring! A pull-up jumper! Early advantage!
An off-balance shot attempt by Reggie Miller falls short! Tendency to force bad shots in the legs!
Reggie Miller with a wild pass that sails out! This player on the come-up giving it away!
This established player Reggie Miller misjudges the passing lane! Easy assist through!
This who-is-this-guy player Robbie Avila converts facing the rim! A bank shot right on cue!
The players disappear. Kawhi Leonard has a makeshift neck brace out of a towel. Bus driver's confession: Kawhi Leonard raps gibberish during road trips. Loudly. We resume. Eyes locked in, jaws clenched.
Hakeem Olajuwon, this established star, barks at the teammate! Heavy feet taking over!
Kawhi Leonard launches but it's well off! Hot head under fatigue!
This max-contract guy Hakeem Olajuwon sets the back screen! Pure God-given talent off-ball contribution!
Reggie Miller is cramping up! This player making noise trying to shake it off! Shaky emotions under pressure!
This certified bucket Hakeem Olajuwon congratulates the opponent. Class in defeat from this certified bucket.
Rajon Rondo takes a sip of water and spits it right back out. Robbie Avila doesn't drink. Throat too tight. On my end, the AC in the booth broke down. I sweated more than Robbie Avila. We're packing up. Time for the late-night feature: 'Unsolved Mysteries: Where Is My Left Sock.'
Matchday 9 — vs Houston Blast-Off
94-101 (L)
Reggie Miller opens with a pull-up jumper! This legit talent making an early statement!
Reggie Miller, this dude putting the league on notice, sends the pill wide! The touch is off tonight!
Hakeem Olajuwon throws it away! Heavy feet under pressure from the left corner!
Hakeem Olajuwon gets caught flat-footed! This bonafide star beaten to the spot!
Kawhi Leonard dishes through traffic and scores! Incredible finish!
Halftime whistle. Hakeem Olajuwon has dried blood on his elbow but plays tough. Confession: Hakeem Olajuwon tried yoga. Lasted two sessions before declaring it a combat sport. The players are back. Some look fresh, others... Not so much.
Kawhi Leonard dunks the towel! This name that's buzzing showing heavy feet!
Hakeem Olajuwon penetrates and fires but misses everything! Hot head tonight!
Kawhi Leonard dunks into the right spacing! Freakish explosiveness and elite court awareness!
Reggie Miller, this well-respected player, is dragging! The allotted time minutes taking their toll!
Hakeem Olajuwon walks off in silence. This top-tier talent gave it all but it wasn't enough.
Rajon Rondo chews his nails on the bench. Reggie Miller stares at his shoes like they're the source of the problem. Tonight I yelled so loud the guy in the next booth asked me to keep it down. Mid-game. Thanks for the game! And now, tonight's feature film: 'Fast and Furious 47: The Quest for a Parking Spot.'
Matchday 10 — vs Denver Horse-Track
100-92 (W)
This headliner Hakeem Olajuwon means business! Fast start in transition!
Kawhi Leonard, this tree of a man, with a silky and-one driving to the hoop! Smooth operator!
Robbie Avila plays the passing angle perfectly! Deflection by this dude out of nowhere!
Rajon Rondo, this well-respected player, dishes to the hot hand! Smart basketball!
This player on the come-up Reggie Miller calls the audible! Changed the play and it works!
The locker room. Hakeem Olajuwon sprawls out full-length on the bench. Fun fact: Hakeem Olajuwon was voted best-looking player on the team. By his mom. In a poll she created herself. Let's go, we're back. The crowd claps in rhythm.
Robbie Avila buries a catch-and-shoot triple off the pick and roll! This surprise package is on fire tonight!
Robbie Avila, this dark horse, waves the crowd up! A hostile crowd rising!
Rajon Rondo celebrates the team's success! This name that's buzzing knows together is better!
Robbie Avila has found another gear! This player nobody saw coming shifting into overdrive!
Robbie Avila tosses the basketball in the air! An ice-cold stare at the opposing bench! This total unknown mission accomplished!
Kawhi Leonard and Robbie Avila share a 30-second hug. Hakeem Olajuwon wants in. Gets pushed away. Your commentator lost his press badge during the game. I had to climb over a barrier. See you soon. Coming up: 'Extreme Couponing: Family of Eight at Walmart.' Double episode.
Matchday 11 — vs New York Over-Timers
92-118 (L)
Robbie Avila takes the floor with that look in his eyes! He came to play tonight!
Robbie Avila fires a sky hook at the top of the key but can't connect! Shaky emotions under pressure showing!
This seasoned vet Kawhi Leonard dribbles off the foot! Unforced error!
Robbie Avila gives up the back door! Injury-prone body when overplaying!
Rajon Rondo, this solid pro, threads the needle for a thunderous slam from the right corner!
Finally a breather. Hakeem Olajuwon has calf cramps, the physio rushes over. Rumor has it Hakeem Olajuwon has been wearing the same lucky underwear for three seasons. The medical staff is concerned. We're back! The coach drew stuff on the whiteboard, let's see if it works.
Rajon Rondo drops the head after another miss! Lack of consistency sapping the confidence!
Reggie Miller, this well-respected player, with the shot-clock heave! No good back to the basket!
This player on the come-up Reggie Miller uses the floater over this oversized freak coverage! Smart!
Reggie Miller, this next-level player, with the tired turnover! Legs and mind fatigued!
Kawhi Leonard, this mammoth, hangs the head. Tough loss despite next-level basketball IQ effort.
Rajon Rondo takes off his shoes and carries them like a ghost. Robbie Avila follows the same path. I spent the fourth quarter standing. Not by choice. My chair gave out in the third. Thanks everyone! Up next: 'Ice Road Truckers: Uber Eats Delivery on a Rainy Night.'
Matchday 12 — vs Cleveland Twin-Towers
106-112 (L)
Robbie Avila fades away with energy from the opening whistle! This hidden prospect locked in!
A pull-up jumper from Rajon Rondo catches the back rim and pops out! So close!
This hidden prospect Robbie Avila gets pickpocketed off the pick and roll! Sloppy handling!
This multi-time All-Star Hakeem Olajuwon caught ball-watching! Backdoor cut for an easy score!
Rajon Rondo answers back with a bank shot! Pure God-given talent under pressure!
Halftime whistle. Reggie Miller spits into the trash can walking into the locker room. Anecdote: Reggie Miller lost a bet and had to wear the center's shoes during warm-ups. Size 16. Both teams retake the floor. The best may be yet to come.
This elite player Hakeem Olajuwon fouls hard out of frustration! Hot head showing!
Kawhi Leonard dunks the ball into the front rim! That's frustrating for this name that's buzzing!
This league veteran Rajon Rondo recognizes the zone and attacks the gap! Genius!
Reggie Miller grabs the shorts! This player making noise is running on fumes!
Hakeem Olajuwon, this big-name player, will be back stronger. This defeat fuels the fire.
Kawhi Leonard turns back to look at the court one last time. Robbie Avila doesn't turn around. Tonight I yelled so loud the guy in the next booth asked me to keep it down. Mid-game. We're wrapping up the mics. Up next: 'Chopped: Tupperware Lunch at the Office Edition.'
Matchday 13 — vs Boston Ring-Chasers
116-109 (W)
This elite player Hakeem Olajuwon gets the crowd going early! The energy is building!
Rajon Rondo attacks on the low block and finishes with a finger roll! Too good!
Robbie Avila, this versatile guy, blankets the shooter at the buzzer! No daylight!
This legit talent Rajon Rondo orchestrates the offense in transition! Maestro!
Reggie Miller, this hooper's hooper, manages the clock beautifully in the second half!
Rest time. Reggie Miller isolates in a corner of the locker room, headphones on. Small detail: Reggie Miller whistles the national anthem before every game. Off-key. Consistently off-key. Tipoff! The ref blows the whistle, the ball is in the air.
Robbie Avila, this unknown gem, sinks a bank shot with surgical precision from the left corner!
The energy in this building is unreal! Kawhi Leonard channeling wild stands!
Kawhi Leonard, this beanpole, boxes out for the teammate! This hooper's hooper doing the dirty work!
Win or lose, Robbie Avila has earned respect tonight! This potential breakout star warrior spirit!
This max-contract guy Hakeem Olajuwon led from start to finish! Comprehensive win!
Rajon Rondo and Hakeem Olajuwon lap the court arm in arm, singing. Off-key. I learned backstage that Reggie Miller also does volunteer firefighter on weekends. That explains those reflexes. See you soon. And now: '911: My Cat Climbed on Top of the Wardrobe.'
Matchday 14 — vs San Antonio Skyscrapers
83-127 (L)
Game time! Reggie Miller and this guy with a proven track record ready to put on a show at the gymnasium!
This established player Kawhi Leonard rattles it out! So close yet so far from the right corner!
Rajon Rondo, this do-it-all player, gets stripped at the top of the key! Tendency to force bad shots exposed!
Kawhi Leonard gets burned on the drive! Sometimes predictable game in lateral movement!
Kawhi Leonard dribbles away from the huddle! This well-respected player in a dark place mentally!
The players leave the court. Hakeem Olajuwon clings to the tunnel railing. Fun fact: Hakeem Olajuwon is unbeatable at arm wrestling in the locker room. Even the center is scared. Back to business. The players bounce around to warm up.
Robbie Avila, this versatile guy, can't finish at the top of the key! That one stings!
Reggie Miller lets fly but can't sustain the effort! Ego the size of Texas emptying the tank!
Rajon Rondo with the backcourt violation! This solid pro under too much pressure!
Rajon Rondo slams the leather in frustration! Tendency to force bad shots on full display!
Robbie Avila sits alone on the bench. This rising star processing the defeat.
Rajon Rondo stands alone at center court as the lights go dim. Hakeem Olajuwon comes back to get him. Did you know that Hakeem Olajuwon practices volunteer firefighter on Tuesdays? Builds character, that does. Alright, good night! Up next: 'Secret Life of Your Mailman.' Episode 47.
Matchday 15 — vs Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest
109-113 (L)
Kawhi Leonard looks dialed in from the start! Natural-born leadership preparation showing!
Kawhi Leonard with another reverse layup! You can't stop this man!
Reggie Miller loses the screen battle! Hot head around the picks!
Robbie Avila, this all-around player, gets stuffed trying a pull-up jumper! Denied!
This respected competitor Kawhi Leonard hits the big three! The deficit down to single digits!
Break. The coach is yelling in the tunnel, Hakeem Olajuwon picks up the pace. Fun fact: Hakeem Olajuwon got rejected at a casting for a deodorant commercial. The irony. And we're off! The energy in the arena just went up a notch.
This raw talent Robbie Avila misses the free throws! Tendency to rush at the line!
Robbie Avila, this tweener, waves off the play call! Ego the size of Texas hurting the team!
Rajon Rondo, this do-it-all player, sets the tone with nerves of steel! Leader!
Robbie Avila misfires on the potential dagger! This newcomer lets them off the hook!
Rajon Rondo launches to the tunnel in disappointment. This legit talent will learn from this.
Robbie Avila's lip is trembling. Kawhi Leonard dodges the cameras by pulling up his hood. I spent this game nervously chewing gum. I'm on my seventh piece. We're done here. Up next: 'Top Chef: Microwave Edition.' Bon appetit.
My Team ends the season #10 with a 7W-8L record. Season MVP: Hakeem Olajuwon.
Season journal
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