My dream starting five — basketball_team 🇺🇸
5 members · TeamBranch
Season Journal
Standings
| # | Team | W | L | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest | 14 | 1 | 28 |
| 2 | San Antonio Skyscrapers | 13 | 2 | 26 |
| 3 | Detroit Engine-Roar | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 4 | Cleveland Twin-Towers | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 5 | Boston Ring-Chasers | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 6 | Denver Horse-Track | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 7 | New York Over-Timers | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 8 | Houston Blast-Off | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 9 | Toronto Border-Patrol | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 10 | Orlando Magic-Beans | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 11 | Los Angeles Nursing-Home | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 12 | Philadelphia Injury-Report | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 13 | Minnesota Ice-Wall | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 14 | Phoenix No-Defense | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 15 | Miami Heart-Attack | 2 | 13 | 4 |
| 16 | My Team | 0 | 15 | 0 |
Pre-season
Alright, sit your ass down for two minutes because tonight we're not messing around, we're diving headfirst into a sold-out arena that smells like rubber and sweat, with 20,000 fans ready to lose their damn voices. We're about to relive the saga of a franchise that's seen it all: the glory years when they bulldozed the league, the dark ages when nothing went in, and the Draft-night strokes of genius that brought them back to the summit. This ain't just basketball, this is American legend carried by physical freaks who aren't here to play nice, they're here to carve their names into NBA history with psycho stat lines and rim-rattling dunks that shake the whole damn building. The team with no name, baby! Listen, I've watched hundreds of players come and go in my broadcasting career, but Stephen Curry is something else entirely. He's the kind of player who makes you jump out of your chair and scream "OH SHIT" at your TV without even realizing it. Standing at 188 cm, a wingspan like a pterodactyl, and a killer instinct that even the coaches can't explain. This man feels the game. He knows where the ball is going to land before the shot even leaves the hand. He reads passes like he's reading minds. At this level, it's not basketball anymore, it's straight-up sorcery. The scary thing is that the more pressure rises, the more he rises with it. Fourth quarter, down by three, the opposing coach screaming, the crowd roaring... And he just shrugs, takes the ball, and nails a step-back three over three defenders draped all over him like it's a Tuesday morning shootaround drill. This is the kind of player you don't just build a team around, you build an era around him. And tonight, that era begins. The chef's surprise of the evening is Godzilla. An amateur by profession. No, it's not a joke, it's an actual coaching staff decision. The GM nearly had a heart attack when he saw the signing, but the coach said: "Trust me, this guy can handle the game with surgical precision, imagine what he can do with a basketball." Spoiler: so far, not much. The man spent his first week confusing the free throw line with the sideline, and asked three times if tackling was allowed. But he's got a heart size of a watermelon, he runs around like an overexcited golden retriever, and damn it, the crowd absolutely loves him. Mid-pack budget. The team of guys who punch the clock, don't complain, cash a decent paycheck, and go home without making headlines. It's not sexy, but it works. The GM is a damn wizard at finding role players at 3 million who play like they're worth 15, and the coach squeezes every drop out of this roster. The problem? One major injury and the whole house of cards collapses.
Matchday 1 — vs Detroit Engine-Roar
86-130 (L)
Tip-off! Stephen Curry gets us started! Let's go!
Stephen Curry fires away the Wilson into nothing! Tendency to force bad shots on full display tonight!
Godzilla with the errant pass! This established star needs to settle down!
Stephen Curry overcommits and gets beat! Heavy feet when reading the play!
Superman gets a technical for complaining! Defense that's basically a suggestion on full display!
Break. The coach is yelling in the tunnel, King Kong picks up the pace. Little scoop: King Kong collects Pokemon cards. That Charizard is worth more than his first contract. Here they come. You can read the determination on their faces.
This top-tier talent Captain America with a rare miss driving to the hoop! Even the best stumble!
Godzilla is gassed! This certified bucket bent over at half court! Hot head catching up!
Superman gets picked! A superhero getting the game stolen in broad daylight!
Stephen Curry, this tweener, throws the hands up! Exasperated in the paint!
This absolute legend Superman shakes hands and moves on. In the end, occasional mental lapses proved costly.
King Kong walks like someone carrying the weight of the world. Superman drags one foot after the other. Tonight I chewed through two pens. The office supply budget is going to explode. That was beautiful. And now: 'House Hunters International: 90-Square-Foot Studio, Wall View.' A steal.
Matchday 2 — vs Miami Heart-Attack
84-129 (L)
Captain America gets the starting nod! A military personnel starting with their service rifle confidence!
Godzilla forces a bad catch-and-shoot triple! This max-contract guy needs to trust teammates!
Stephen Curry tries to be too fancy and loses the damn ball! Heavy feet in the decision-making!
Superman gets blown by! Even a superhero couldn't stop that!
Godzilla, this all-around player, waves off the play call! Shaky emotions under pressure hurting the team!
Intermission. King Kong dumps an entire water bottle over his head. Anecdote of the day: King Kong forgot his shorts on the last road trip. Played in borrowed shorts two sizes too big. The players step onto the hardwood once more. The second half starts now.
Superman goes 0 for the quarter! A superhero having a rough shift with their bare hands!
Superman powers through! The superhero in them won't quit on the game!
Godzilla with the lazy pass! Shaky emotions under pressure leading to easy points!
Superman can't mask the disappointment! This guy with rings on every finger wearing it on the sleeve!
Stephen Curry reflects on what could have been. Occasional mental lapses the difference tonight.
Stephen Curry clenches his left fist, unclenches, clenches again. Superman fidgets with his wristband nervously. On my end, I ate peanuts through the entire third quarter. Salt is my drug of choice. Alright, good evening! Now it's 'Love Is in the Parking Lot.' Romance guaranteed.
Matchday 3 — vs Orlando Magic-Beans
96-121 (L)
Captain America announces themselves! The military personnel has arrived and the building knows it!
This headliner Captain America puts up a thunderous slam but it won't fall! Off night!
This top-tier talent King Kong dribbles off the foot! Unforced error!
Superman loses the screen battle! Lack of consistency around the picks!
Godzilla answers back with a euro-step! Next-level basketball IQ under pressure!
Halftime. Godzilla is holding his ribs walking toward the tunnel. Little scoop: Godzilla tried to bribe the DJ to play his song. The DJ agreed. Nobody liked it. Here they come. Fresh as daisies. Or not. We'll find out soon enough.
This All-Star caliber talent Captain America throws an elbow in frustration! Ego the size of Texas on full display!
Godzilla, this all-around player, gets stuffed trying a sky hook! Denied!
King Kong, this swiss-army-knife type, uses the jab step to freeze the defender! Crafty!
This bonafide star Godzilla calls for a sub! Can't go anymore! Defense that's basically a suggestion taking its toll!
Godzilla, this tweener, trudges off the temple of basketball. Lessons to take from this one.
Stephen Curry mutters while walking out. Captain America watches from the corner of his eye, worried. During halftime, I tried to interview the mascot. It ignored me. I'll recover eventually. Good night! And now: 'Naked and Afraid: Lost in the Shopping Mall.'
Matchday 4 — vs Philadelphia Injury-Report
89-133 (L)
Stephen Curry takes off onto the floor! The crowd roars for this world-class player!
Captain America misfires from along the baseline! This reliable star searching for answers!
This max-contract guy Stephen Curry loses concentration and the rock with it!
Godzilla, this swiss-army-knife type, can't keep up with the speed! Injury-prone body exposed!
This top-tier talent Captain America hangs the head after the miss! Deflated from downtown!
End of the first half. Superman is beet red but still standing. Did you know Superman started basketball because he was terrible at soccer? Sometimes failure leads to greatness. There they are. The coach must have found the right words.
Brick! Superman misfires from the right corner! Hot head at the worst time!
This certified bucket Stephen Curry can barely jump! The springs are gone from the left corner!
This guy everybody knows King Kong with a careless turnover! Gift-wrapped for the opponent!
Stephen Curry slams the orange in frustration! Defense that's basically a suggestion on full display!
King Kong walks off in silence. This multi-time All-Star gave it all but it wasn't enough.
King Kong stares at his hands like he doesn't recognize them. Superman exhales. Again. And again. Your commentator broke his personal screaming record tonight. My throat is not thanking me. That's a wrap! Coming up: 'American Idol: Accountant Edition.' Singing, dancing, and spreadsheets.
Matchday 5 — vs Phoenix No-Defense
78-123 (L)
The game begins and Captain America is ready! You can see iron discipline written all over his face!
Godzilla air-mails a hook shot from mid-range! Way off for this top-tier talent!
Superman, this tweener, gets stripped facing the rim! Hot head exposed!
King Kong gets burned on the drive! Occasional mental lapses in lateral movement!
Superman, this franchise cornerstone, barks at the teammate! Shaky emotions under pressure taking over!
Halftime! Godzilla checks his stats on the board and winces. Rumor has it Godzilla has been wearing the same lucky underwear for three seasons. The medical staff is concerned. We resume. Eyes locked in, jaws clenched.
Godzilla, this versatile guy, can't finish at half court! That one stings!
Stephen Curry is running on pure willpower! This max-contract guy refusing to quit!
Superman gets the ball stripped! The game would have stayed in a superhero's grip!
Stephen Curry, this tweener, shows negative body language! Heavy feet creeping in!
This certified bucket Godzilla leaves the gym with head held high. Fought to the end.
Superman's eyes are red, jaw tight. Captain America apologizes to the coach, voice cracking. I learned tonight that Superman used to be a superhero. That explains the unique running style. See you tomorrow! Up next: 'Extreme Reading: The Terms and Conditions.' 4-hour special.
Matchday 6 — vs Los Angeles Nursing-Home
85-130 (L)
This max-contract guy King Kong comes out firing! A two-handed slam in the first minute!
King Kong forces a two-handed slam along the baseline! This world-class player trying too hard!
This bonafide star King Kong commits the 5-second violation! Clock management limited stamina!
Godzilla scrambles but can't close out! Open look given up! Injury-prone body!
This franchise guy Stephen Curry fouls hard out of frustration! Shaky emotions under pressure showing!
The players disappear. Captain America has a makeshift neck brace out of a towel. Fun fact: Captain America is unbeatable at arm wrestling in the locker room. Even the center is scared. Come on, second half! The best is yet to come. Or the worst. Who knows.
King Kong takes off the basketball into the front rim! That's frustrating for this franchise guy!
Superman is spent! Used up like the game after a superhero's long day!
King Kong, this tweener, telegraphs the pass! Intercepted from the right corner!
Superman stares in disbelief! The look of a superhero who just lost everything!
Godzilla spins to the tunnel in disappointment. This established star will learn from this.
Stephen Curry sits on the bench, staring into nothing. Captain America has his head in his hands. Fun fact: my sound engineer fell asleep during the second quarter. I woke him with an elbow. See you at the next game. In the meantime: 'MasterClass: How to Fold a Fitted Sheet.' Gripping television.
Matchday 7 — vs Toronto Border-Patrol
77-115 (L)
Stephen Curry looks dialed in from the start! Insane court vision preparation showing!
Stephen Curry explodes but overcooks it! Sometimes predictable game showing up again!
This bonafide star King Kong with turnover number points! Occasional mental lapses is piling up!
Godzilla, this smooth operator, fouls unnecessarily off the pick and roll! Hot head!
Captain America slaps the floor in frustration! Slapping harder than a military personnel hits the workbench!
The players disappear. Stephen Curry has a makeshift neck brace out of a towel. Anecdote: Stephen Curry threw up before his first pro game. No more pre-game burgers ever since. Back to business. The players bounce around to warm up.
A layup by Godzilla in the paint is way off! Tough night for this bonafide star!
King Kong lets fly a step slower than usual! Ego the size of Texas in the tank!
King Kong, this combo guard, steps out of bounds with the pill! Mental lapse!
Captain America mouths off at with seconds left on the clock! A military personnel venting about the frontline!
Superman takes off past the media. This absolute legend not in the mood to talk.
Godzilla's complexion is grey. King Kong's is red. Defeat comes in different colors. Tonight my voice traveled three octaves. Baritone to soprano. Basketball does that to you. That's it for tonight. Coming up: 'True Confessions: I Put Ketchup on Pasta.'
Matchday 8 — vs Minnesota Ice-Wall
87-131 (L)
Superman, this swiss-army-knife type, takes the court! The palpable tension is electric!
A two-handed slam attempt by Godzilla falls short! Defense that's basically a suggestion in the legs!
Captain America forces the pass! Forcing their service rifle where it doesn't fit!
Godzilla, this solid build, gets dunked on at the buzzer! Poster material!
Captain America attacks and kicks the stanchion! This max-contract guy losing composure!
The players head in. King Kong slips on the wet tunnel floor. They say King Kong has a ritual where he touches the basket post three times. If someone watches, starts over. Here they come. You can read the determination on their faces.
Stephen Curry, this swiss-army-knife type, loses the handle and the opportunity! Hot head!
Captain America stumbles on the play! Stumbling like a military personnel over the frontline!
Godzilla coughs up the rock! Hot head strikes again on the low block!
This headliner Godzilla can't believe the call! Arguing with the ref!
Superman hangs their head! A superhero who gave everything they had!
King Kong's gaze is cold, distant. Captain America's gaze is hot, angry. Fun fact: my sound engineer fell asleep during the second quarter. I woke him with an elbow. Good evening! Now: 'Destination Unknown: The Roundabout in Scranton, PA.' Total adventure.
Matchday 9 — vs Houston Blast-Off
84-128 (L)
This living legend Superman gets the crowd going early! The energy is building!
Superman, this swiss-army-knife type, bobbles the rock and the chance evaporates facing the rim!
Captain America with the bad read! Misreading the play like misreading the frontline!
Superman gets posterized! A superhero framed by their bare hands in the worst way!
Stephen Curry drops the head after another miss! Limited stamina sapping the confidence!
Break! Superman heads straight to the bathroom moment he hits the locker room. Did you know? Superman launched a basketball podcast. Two episodes. Zero listeners. Still going. Back for the second half. The coach slammed his fist on the table.
This franchise guy King Kong short-arms a tear drop facing the rim! Not enough lift!
Superman digs deep! Deep as a superhero digs into the game!
Godzilla, this versatile guy, fumbles the entry pass back to the basket!
Stephen Curry glares at the scoreboard! This elite player not happy with the situation!
Superman sits alone on the bench. This potential GOAT processing the defeat.
King Kong has bags under his eyes that weren't there before the game. Captain America has aged ten years in forty minutes. I learned that King Kong's father was a superhero. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. See you tomorrow! Up next: 'Extreme Reading: The Terms and Conditions.' 4-hour special.
Matchday 10 — vs Denver Horse-Track
81-115 (L)
King Kong, this reliable star, draws first blood! A buzzer-beater to start!
Superman can't connect! Their bare hands in hand, sure. The rock through the hoop, nope!
Godzilla charges right into the defender! Turnover! Defense that's basically a suggestion when controlling pace!
Superman gets back-doored! Didn't see it, like not seeing the game behind their bare hands!
Godzilla storms to the bench! This established star is visibly upset!
Finally a breather. King Kong has calf cramps, the physio rushes over. True story: King Kong walked into the wrong locker room during his first game against Denver Horse-Track. Awkward. Tipoff! The ball bounces, the arena vibrates, we're back.
Stephen Curry fires a fadeaway jumper under the basket but can't connect! Tendency to rush showing!
Superman barely gets back on defense! Moving like a superhero on a Friday afternoon!
Captain America trips up in the center circle! A military personnel never trips at work... Right?
Godzilla, this world-class player, refuses to high-five! Defense that's basically a suggestion hurting the chemistry!
King Kong, this versatile guy, hangs the head. Tough loss despite iron discipline effort.
Captain America taps the tunnel wall as if trying to pass through it. Superman walks through the door without pushing it. During the timeout, I tried to do pull-ups on the edge of the broadcast booth. Zero. Thanks everyone! And now: 'Keeping Up with the Kardashians: Season 312.' They will never stop.
Matchday 11 — vs New York Over-Timers
75-120 (L)
Stephen Curry fires up the crowd to open the game! This jersey-selling name starting strong!
King Kong, this swiss-army-knife type, wastes a golden chance with a wild pull-up jumper!
King Kong, this tweener, gets the ball poked away! Shaky emotions under pressure when protecting the basketball!
King Kong gambles for the steal and pays the price! Shaky emotions under pressure!
Stephen Curry picks up the second technical! This reliable star ejected! Sometimes predictable game!
Halftime! Godzilla is limping slightly heading off the court. Fun fact: Godzilla is unbeatable at arm wrestling in the locker room. Even the center is scared. Second half! The crowd is on its feet, and so are the players.
Captain America launches and misses! The damn ball isn't the frontline, and it shows!
Stephen Curry attacks but the legs won't cooperate! Heavy feet catching up!
Stephen Curry throws it away! Limited stamina under pressure driving to the hoop!
This top-tier talent Captain America stares at the ref! That look could freeze water!
Captain America takes the loss hard! Hard as the frontline on a bad military personnel day!
Stephen Curry turns back to look at the court one last time. Superman doesn't turn around. Fun fact: my driver has been waiting in the parking lot for an hour. He's sent me 14 messages. See you tomorrow! Up next: 'Extreme Reading: The Terms and Conditions.' 4-hour special.
Matchday 12 — vs Cleveland Twin-Towers
77-121 (L)
King Kong, this elite player, wins the opening tip! Great start for the team!
Captain America misses! Even a military personnel can't fix that shot!
Superman botches the handoff! Even their bare hands exchanges go smoother!
This reliable star Godzilla picks up the cheap foul! Heavy feet showing!
Godzilla, this swiss-army-knife type, pounds the scorer's table! Hot head on full display!
Rest. Godzilla buries his head in a wet towel and doesn't move. Did you know? Godzilla tried to become a rapper before basketball. The world dodged a bullet. We resume. Eyes locked in, jaws clenched.
This household name Superman whiffs on a step-back three! The crowd groans!
Godzilla, this combo guard, is moving in slow motion! Tank is empty!
Stephen Curry, this do-it-all player, gets called for the carry! Tendency to rush in ball-handling!
King Kong, this established star, with the frustrated foul! Shaky emotions under pressure in tough moments!
King Kong, this reliable star, takes the loss hard. Hot head at the wrong moments.
Stephen Curry lets out a nervous laugh that sends chills down your spine. Superman decides not to comment. Your commentator lost his press badge during the game. I had to climb over a barrier. That was beautiful. And now: 'House Hunters International: 90-Square-Foot Studio, Wall View.' A steal.
Matchday 13 — vs Boston Ring-Chasers
79-124 (L)
This certified bucket King Kong comes out aggressive! Opens with a deep three at the top of the key!
Godzilla with a rough reverse layup from the right corner! Limited stamina at the worst time!
Godzilla spins into a trap! Defense that's basically a suggestion when reading the defense!
This certified bucket King Kong caught ball-watching! Backdoor cut for an easy score!
King Kong blows past angrily after the turnover! This top-tier talent spiraling!
Break! King Kong has left a puddle of sweat at every step through the tunnel. Did you know King Kong keeps a photo of his dog in his right shoe? It's a Bichon. The show goes on. Players take position. Silence. Whistle.
Superman can't buy a bucket! Maybe the game would be easier to aim!
Stephen Curry, this versatile guy, with tired legs at half court! Sometimes predictable game slowing this reliable star down!
This guy everybody knows Godzilla gets pickpocketed under the basket! Sloppy handling!
Stephen Curry spins away from the huddle! This franchise guy in a dark place mentally!
Superman had the chances but couldn't convert. This first-ballot legend left wanting.
Captain America and Stephen Curry walk side by side without looking at each other. The silence is deafening. My evening? A microphone, cold coffee, and the greatest show on earth. What more could you ask for. That's all for tonight! Coming up: 'CSI: Underground Parking Garage.' Riveting stuff.
Matchday 14 — vs San Antonio Skyscrapers
79-123 (L)
Stephen Curry, this all-around player, sets the tone immediately! Eyes in the back of the head from the jump!
Godzilla with the contested bucket under the basket! No good! Bad selection!
Godzilla throws it into the stands! What was that from this multi-time All-Star!
Stephen Curry, this all-around player, gets blown by on the perimeter! Ego the size of Texas in the legs!
Stephen Curry, this solid build, sits down hard on the bench! Tendency to rush written all over his face!
Halftime. Godzilla throws his towel on the floor walking in. I've been told Godzilla once ordered a pizza during a timeout. The coach was not amused. Here we go again. The players have changed jerseys.
That one wasn't even close, Superman! Stick to competing the game!
Superman calls for the sub! Even a superhero's stamina with their bare hands has limits!
Turnover by Captain America! Defending the frontline requires less coordination, clearly!
This jersey-selling name Stephen Curry shakes the head in disbelief! Nothing going right!
Captain America tells reporters: 'Tomorrow we defends better, like the frontline!'
Stephen Curry chews his nails on the bench. Captain America stares at his shoes like they're the source of the problem. During the break, I tried doing crunches behind the console. My back remembers. See you tomorrow! Up next: 'Extreme Reading: The Terms and Conditions.' 4-hour special.
Matchday 15 — vs Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest
88-133 (L)
Superman takes the floor with that look in his eyes! He came to play tonight!
Superman launches a floater and... Airball! Tendency to rush at its peak!
King Kong, this all-around player, commits the travel! Limited stamina in the footwork!
Stephen Curry turns the head and loses the man! This reliable star napping defensively!
Captain America looks to the heavens! A military personnel praying for their service rifle to work!
Halftime! King Kong is limping slightly heading off the court. Did you know? King Kong has a personal mini-fridge in the locker room. Nobody knows what's inside. Both teams return. You can tell the coach gave them an earful.
King Kong, this solid build, can't get an off-balance shot to drop! Cold as ice tonight!
This All-Star caliber talent Godzilla stumbles! The fatigue is real after this ball game!
King Kong with a wild pass that sails out! This max-contract guy giving it away!
Superman mutters to himself walking back! This all-time great fighting inner demons!
This headliner Stephen Curry stares at the scoreboard. Not the outcome this headliner wanted.
Captain America hurls his water bottle at the wall. King Kong flinches but doesn't react. Behind the scenes, I learned King Kong was also a superhero in a past life. You can feel it in the game. See you tomorrow. In the meantime, it's 'Who Wants to Marry My Goldfish.' Good luck with that.
My Team finishes #16 (0W-15L). Better luck next season! MVP: Stephen Curry.
Season journal
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