My dream starting five — basketball_team 🇺🇸
5 members · TeamBranch
Season Journal
Standings
| # | Team | W | L | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Detroit Engine-Roar | 15 | 0 | 30 |
| 2 | San Antonio Skyscrapers | 13 | 2 | 26 |
| 3 | Boston Ring-Chasers | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 4 | Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 5 | Houston Blast-Off | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 6 | Cleveland Twin-Towers | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 7 | New York Over-Timers | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 8 | Toronto Border-Patrol | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 9 | My Team | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 10 | Los Angeles Nursing-Home | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 11 | Denver Horse-Track | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 12 | Philadelphia Injury-Report | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 13 | Minnesota Ice-Wall | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 14 | Miami Heart-Attack | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 15 | Phoenix No-Defense | 2 | 13 | 4 |
| 16 | Orlando Magic-Beans | 0 | 15 | 0 |
Pre-season
Kill the cameras, turn off your phones, and shut your mouths because what we're about to witness tonight only happens once in a generation. We're in the belly of an arena where the floor trembles under the bass, where the Jumbotron spits fire, where 20,000 lunatics are screaming their heads off before the tip-off even happens. The franchise walking onto this court isn't a basketball club, it's a war machine forged in the pain of defeat and the madness of impossible comebacks. Every player here has gladiator blood in his veins and an ego size of Texas. The team with no name, baby! Okay, we need to talk about the monster. Because there are players, and then there's Mikal Bridges. It's not the same category, it's not even the same damn sport. Standing at 198 cm, with footwork like a ballet dancer and a jumper purer than spring water. The kind of guy who drops 35 in three quarters, sits down on the bench in the fourth because he's bored, and pulls out his phone to check his stats on the Jumbotron. He's not a player, he's a statistical anomaly. I asked a former player what it felt like to guard him. He looked at me with hollow eyes and said: "It's like trying to catch smoke." Smoke, my friends. You think you've got him, you close your hands, and there's nothing there. He's already on the other side of the court drilling a three in your face with a little smirk. The kind of player who makes you want to quit basketball and open a bakery, because at least bread doesn't disappear when you try to touch it. Hold on tight because the next name is going to make you spit out your beer: Robert Wadlow. Profession? Circus performer. Yeah. The coach saw him on TV, called his agent (who didn't exist), and offered him a ten-day contract "to see." The guy showed up with bare hands, a ham sandwich, and bulletproof enthusiasm. At his first practice, he attempted a dunk and ended up hanging from the net like a cat stuck in a tree. The fire department came. Twice. But he's got heart, the man, and apparently the precision he puts into the game could translate to mid-range shooting. We believe. Well, the coach believes. The rest of us broke out the popcorn. Budget: unlimited. Well technically there's a limit, but the owner decided to ignore it. We're in repeater tax territory, where every extra dollar of payroll costs FIVE dollars in penalties. The front office sweats with every new contract, the accountant has quit three times this year, but the owner keeps signing checks. The result? An absolute dream roster, the kind of team you build in NBA 2K when you turn on cheat mode. The downside? Zero flexibility. No first-round Draft picks, no free agent signings, no wiggle room whatsoever. It's all or nothing. And tonight, it's gonna be all.
Matchday 1 — vs Detroit Engine-Roar
87-119 (L)
This established player Jalen Brunson means business! Fast start from downtown!
Jalen Brunson, this swiss-army-knife type, double-clutches and misses! Indecision from this player on the come-up!
Jalen Brunson with the backcourt violation! This hooper's hooper under too much pressure!
This certified bucket Robert Wadlow fouls reaching in! Limited stamina on defense!
Josh Hart, this oversized freak, shows negative body language! Lack of consistency creeping in!
Break! Jalen Brunson takes his jersey off before even reaching the locker room. Did you know? Jalen Brunson launched a basketball podcast. Two episodes. Zero listeners. Still going. Resetting the counters for this second half. Well, not really.
Robert Wadlow penetrates but the shot rims out! Ego the size of Texas rears its ugly head!
Robert Wadlow misses the rotation! Too tired, like a circus performer too tired for the game!
Josh Hart lets fly into a trap! Hot head when reading the defense!
Jalen Brunson, this solid build, throws the hands up! Exasperated at the buzzer!
This hooper's hooper Donte DiVincenzo leaves the hardwood with head held high. Fought to the end.
Robert Wadlow refuses Detroit Engine-Roar's handshake. Mikal Bridges offers a limp one with just his fingertips. I spent this entire evening standing because my chair has been broken for three games. Nobody fixes it. See you tomorrow. In the meantime, it's 'Who Wants to Marry My Goldfish.' Good luck with that.
Matchday 2 — vs Miami Heart-Attack
113-81 (W)
Jalen Brunson, this legit talent, draws first blood! A step-back three to start!
Jalen Brunson drains a free throw at the buzzer! Textbook natural-born leadership!
This legit talent Jalen Brunson leads the fast break and dishes! Easy bucket off the assist!
This up-and-coming baller Mikal Bridges does it again! A step-back three with effortless precision!
Donte DiVincenzo shuts the door from downtown! That's how you play defense!
Halftime. Mikal Bridges wolfs down an energy bar in two bites. Fun fact: Mikal Bridges failed the driving test three times. On the court it's a different story, thankfully. Second half! The hardwood is about to shake again.
Donte DiVincenzo strings together a catch-and-shoot triple from downtown. Natural-born leadership on full display!
This player on the come-up Donte DiVincenzo takes a bow! An ice-cold stare at the opposing bench! This was clinical!
Donte DiVincenzo goes to work the wrong way on offense! This league veteran needs a GPS!
Jalen Brunson, this well-respected player, cups the ear to the crowd! A raised fist! They want more!
Mikal Bridges pulls up in triumph! The final buzzer sounds! That's a W!
Donte DiVincenzo and Mikal Bridges cradle the game ball like a baby. Josh Hart takes a photo. Tonight I nearly had a heart attack at least four times. And I'm just the commentator. Good evening! Up next: 'Fixer Upper: Renovating a Studio on a Twelve-Dollar Budget.' Challenge accepted.
Matchday 3 — vs Orlando Magic-Beans
113-111 (W)
Robert Wadlow begins their shift on the hardwood! A circus performer starting the their bare hands shift!
This dude putting the league on notice Mikal Bridges comes up with a massive steal! Transition time!
Robert Wadlow heaves and misses! Should have heaved the game instead!
This player on the come-up Mikal Bridges erupts for a catch-and-shoot triple! The floodgates are open!
Josh Hart uses the hesitation dribble! Ridiculous creativity creating separation!
Break! Jalen Brunson grabs an ice bag and slaps it on his knee. Little secret: Jalen Brunson listens to Celine Dion to focus. I repeat, Celine Dion. Tipoff! The ball bounces, the arena vibrates, we're back.
Jalen Brunson hits nothing but net! A catch-and-shoot triple in the closing moments! Scary good handles!
This respected competitor Josh Hart reads the play and intercepts! Brilliant anticipation!
The road crowd tries to rally but Donte DiVincenzo silences them! An electric crowd!
Josh Hart, this tower, with the late-game buzzer beater! Nerves of steel shining through!
Donte DiVincenzo, this respected competitor, soaks in the moment! Victory facing the rim! A bench mob celebration!
Mikal Bridges blows a kiss to the camera. Donte DiVincenzo blows twelve. Jalen Brunson blocks the lens. Behind the scenes, the cameraman told me I was making faces during free throws. I had no idea. That's it for tonight. Coming up: 'True Confessions: I Put Ketchup on Pasta.'
Matchday 4 — vs Philadelphia Injury-Report
107-100 (W)
Jalen Brunson, this well-respected player, embraces the roaring arena! Game on!
Jalen Brunson buries a layup from the left corner! This legit talent is on fire tonight!
Robert Wadlow a ball recovery and starts the fast break! Defense wins championships!
Mikal Bridges launches into the lane and kicks out! Next-level basketball IQ and great decision-making!
Jalen Brunson identifies the soft spot in the zone! This seasoned vet surgical precision!
Halftime! Mikal Bridges is limping slightly heading off the court. Little scoop: Mikal Bridges tried to bribe the DJ to play his song. The DJ agreed. Nobody liked it. Both teams emerge from the tunnel. The second half can begin.
Donte DiVincenzo dunks the rock beautifully for a finger roll! What touch!
Josh Hart, this tree of a man, gets the standing ovation! An electric crowd!
Mikal Bridges dribbles the pick-and-roll to perfection! Chemistry on display!
Josh Hart, this tree of a man, embodies the spirit of competition! What a show!
Jalen Brunson, this next-level player, embraces the teammates! A slide across the hardwood! Sweet victory!
Mikal Bridges performs an absolutely ridiculous victory dance. Jalen Brunson imitates it. It's worse. I learned tonight that Mikal Bridges used to be a circus performer. That explains the unique running style. Off to bed! And now: 'Jeopardy: Cafeteria Trivia Edition.'
Matchday 5 — vs Phoenix No-Defense
99-98 (W)
Jalen Brunson dishes onto the floor! The crowd roars for this next-level player!
Jalen Brunson a charge taken at the critical moment! Ridiculous creativity right on cue!
This established player Mikal Bridges shanks a sky hook off the pick and roll! That's uncharacteristic!
A step-back three by Josh Hart from mid-range! Next-level basketball IQ in every fiber!
Jalen Brunson, this player making noise, manages the clock beautifully in the second half!
Halftime whistle. Josh Hart spits into the trash can walking into the locker room. Confession: Josh Hart believes the away locker room is haunted. Refuses to go in alone. And we're off! The energy in the arena just went up a notch.
Mikal Bridges, this dude putting the league on notice, rises to the occasion! A buzzer beater in transition! Huge!
Mikal Bridges rejects the layup! A clutch steal by this giant! Get that out!
The crowd is on its feet! A boiling cauldron as Donte DiVincenzo takes the court!
Mikal Bridges, this beanpole, hits the big shot! In the money time! That's a closer!
Robert Wadlow finishes with a monster stat line! Numbers a circus performer would be proud of!
Jalen Brunson makes a heart with his hands toward the camera. Mikal Bridges makes a bigger heart. Josh Hart makes a massive heart. Tonight my colleague told me I smell like stress. I told him it was my cologne. Good evening! Coming up: 'Dancing with the Stars: My Cousin's Wedding Edition.' Open bar.
Matchday 6 — vs Los Angeles Nursing-Home
110-82 (W)
This player making noise Donte DiVincenzo opens the scoring! A devastating dunk! Early advantage!
Jalen Brunson takes off past the defense for a deep three! Size advantage from this this smooth operator!
Josh Hart with the full-court pressure! This hooper's hooper making them uncomfortable!
Robert Wadlow reads the defense! Studying them like it's circus performer homework!
Robert Wadlow sets up the play three passes ahead! Three moves ahead, like a circus performer at work!
Halftime. The doctor examines Mikal Bridges's shoulder while the others catch their breath. Fun fact: Mikal Bridges is unbeatable at arm wrestling in the locker room. Even the center is scared. We resume. Eyes locked in, jaws clenched.
Josh Hart scores at will! A reverse layup from mid-range! This dude putting the league on notice domination!
This guy with a proven track record Jalen Brunson turns the hostile crowd into stunned silence!
This established player Mikal Bridges swings the pill around! Insane court vision ball movement!
This solid pro Donte DiVincenzo is living their best moment right now in the paint!
Mikal Bridges can breathe! The win is secured, it's over!
Josh Hart cries tears of joy in Donte DiVincenzo's arms. Robert Wadlow is also crying but nobody knows why. I spent my evening screaming into a microphone, and honestly, I'd do it all over again. Sleep tight! Coming up: 'Forensic Files: Who Finished the Milk Without Telling Anyone.'
Matchday 7 — vs Toronto Border-Patrol
100-101 (L)
This guy with a proven track record Mikal Bridges catches the leather early and goes to work! Opening salvo!
An alley-oop from Jalen Brunson! Another dagger! This seasoned vet closing the door!
Donte DiVincenzo gets caught flat-footed! This name that's buzzing beaten to the spot!
Robert Wadlow misses the free throw! Competing the game under pressure is easier!
Josh Hart hits in the paint! The crowd is back in it! Game on!
Halftime! Josh Hart checks his stats on the board and winces. Little secret: Josh Hart watches cat videos between quarters. Says it's relaxing. Both teams return with fresh instructions from the coach.
Mikal Bridges shoots into a dead end! Hot head in late-game situations!
This league veteran Jalen Brunson gets into it with the opponent! Tempers flaring!
Robert Wadlow fades away like a player possessed! A killer instinct unleashed!
Jalen Brunson forces the hero ball and misses! This seasoned vet with injury-prone body!
Despite the loss, Robert Wadlow held their own with the game! The circus performer fought!
Jalen Brunson taps the tunnel wall as if trying to pass through it. Donte DiVincenzo walks through the door without pushing it. I spent the evening explaining basketball rules to my new intern. He still thinks you can walk with the ball. Thanks for tonight. Up next: 'American Ninja Warrior: No Elevator Edition.' Sixth floor, no landing.
Matchday 8 — vs Minnesota Ice-Wall
117-84 (W)
This player making noise Jalen Brunson gets the crowd going early! The energy is building!
A free throw by Mikal Bridges! The crowd erupts! An off-the-charts basketball IQ personified!
Mikal Bridges, this well-respected player, sets the table at the top of the key! Assist master!
This established player Jalen Brunson punishes the defense with a bank shot at half court!
Jalen Brunson times it perfectly and rejects the shot! A sky-high block in the paint!
Break. The coach is yelling in the tunnel, Mikal Bridges picks up the pace. Intel: Mikal Bridges refuses to play if the ball isn't inflated to exactly 8 PSI. Not 7.9, not 8.1. Eight. Both teams return. You can tell the coach gave them an earful.
Donte DiVincenzo, this dude putting the league on notice, operates in transition with a hook shot! Clinic!
Josh Hart with a showtime pull-up jumper! This hooper's hooper enjoying every second!
This hooper's hooper Mikal Bridges does the robot during the dead ball! A victory dance!
Robert Wadlow shimmies after a buzzer-beater! Shaking it off, the circus performer is feeling it!
Robert Wadlow, this towering presence, salutes the faithful! A bench mob celebration! What a night!
Josh Hart and Donte DiVincenzo cradle the game ball like a baby. Jalen Brunson takes a photo. Yours truly survived this game without losing his voice. It was touch and go. That's it for tonight. Coming up: 'Nailed It: Cakes Ruined by My Mother-in-Law.'
Matchday 9 — vs Houston Blast-Off
97-98 (L)
Josh Hart, this tree of a man, sets the tone immediately! That dawg mentality from the jump!
Mikal Bridges knocks down a scoop layup facing the rim! Ice in the veins!
Donte DiVincenzo, this walking skyscraper, gets dunked on at the top of the key! Poster material!
Robert Wadlow misses the open look! This All-Star caliber talent can't believe it! Heavy feet!
Donte DiVincenzo, this giant, energizes the crowd! Immense pressure! Comeback vibes!
The players disappear into the tunnel. Josh Hart asks for an ice pack. Confession: Josh Hart tried yoga. Lasted two sessions before declaring it a combat sport. Play resumes! The coach set a few things straight in the locker room.
Donte DiVincenzo misses the wide-open look on the final possession! This player on the come-up will regret that!
This top-tier talent Robert Wadlow stares at the ref! That look could freeze water!
Mikal Bridges, this name that's buzzing, delivers a live masterclass! Wisdom and poise!
Mikal Bridges can't handle the pressure! This league veteran folds in late in the quarter!
This up-and-coming baller Josh Hart shakes hands and moves on. In the end, sometimes predictable game proved costly.
Jalen Brunson's eyes are red, jaw tight. Robert Wadlow apologizes to the coach, voice cracking. During the break, I tried to juggle three balls. My cameraman filmed everything. It'll come out someday. We're done! And now: 'The Voice: Office Karaoke After Two Beers Edition.'
Matchday 10 — vs Denver Horse-Track
92-108 (L)
Donte DiVincenzo, this mammoth, takes the court! The boiling cauldron is electric!
A sky hook by Jalen Brunson from downtown is way off! Tough night for this league veteran!
Jalen Brunson tries to be too fancy and loses the Wilson! Ego the size of Texas in the decision-making!
Jalen Brunson, this solid build, lets the shooter get free along the baseline! Costly lapse!
A fadeaway jumper from Mikal Bridges! This guy with a proven track record reminding everyone why they're on top!
Back to the locker room. Donte DiVincenzo punches his locker. Fun fact: Donte DiVincenzo was voted best-looking player on the team. By his mom. In a poll she created herself. Back at it! The coach said two words. Two words that were enough.
Josh Hart gets a technical for complaining! Ego the size of Texas on full display!
Josh Hart forces a sky hook in the paint! This established player trying too hard!
This up-and-coming baller Mikal Bridges with the savvy veteran play! Natural-born leadership experience showing!
This solid pro Josh Hart has heavy legs! The pace has been brutal!
Donte DiVincenzo, this big fella, hangs the head. Tough loss despite silky smooth technique effort.
Mikal Bridges turns back to look at the court one last time. Robert Wadlow doesn't turn around. Behind the scenes, I learned Robert Wadlow was also a circus performer in a past life. You can feel it in the game. Good evening! Up next: 'Fixer Upper: Renovating a Studio on a Twelve-Dollar Budget.' Challenge accepted.
Matchday 11 — vs New York Over-Timers
100-101 (L)
Robert Wadlow lands the first scoop layup! First blood! The circus performer strikes first!
Robert Wadlow, this top-tier talent, reads the play perfectly and delivers a pull-up jumper!
Mikal Bridges gives up the back door! Ego the size of Texas when overplaying!
Robert Wadlow steps back but overcooks it! Hot head showing up again!
Robert Wadlow hits the three to tie! Clutch as a circus performer on deadline!
End of the second quarter. Jalen Brunson is breathing so loud you can hear it from here. Anecdote: Jalen Brunson fell asleep on the bench during an exhibition game. Still got named MVP. Here we go. Tactical adjustments have been made.
Josh Hart blows past and slips! Turnover in the second quarter! Hot head!
Robert Wadlow pounds the scorer's table! Frustrated! The circus performer in them is showing!
Mikal Bridges lets fly into the record books! This league veteran making memories!
Robert Wadlow with the ill-advised pass in the first quarter! Intercepted!
Donte DiVincenzo, this absolute unit, trudges off the floor. Lessons to take from this one.
Jalen Brunson pushes away the reporter's microphone with a gesture. Mikal Bridges takes the interview and says 'not tonight'. I tried to take a selfie with the court in the background. My thumb is over the lens. See you tomorrow. In the meantime, it's 'Who Wants to Marry My Goldfish.' Good luck with that.
Matchday 12 — vs Cleveland Twin-Towers
103-107 (L)
Robert Wadlow looks dialed in from the start! Natural-born leadership preparation showing!
A hook shot by Mikal Bridges! The building is rocking! This player making noise takeover!
This big-name player Robert Wadlow bites on the fake! Beaten back to the basket!
Mikal Bridges misfires from the left corner! Even this hooper's hooper has off nights!
This multi-time All-Star Robert Wadlow with back-to-back buckets! The lead is crumbling!
Halftime! Josh Hart has the hardwood pattern imprinted on his elbow. Quick anecdote about Josh Hart: apparently he eats pasta with ketchup before every game. To each their own ritual. The tunnel spits the players out. The war resumes.
Mikal Bridges crosses over but can't score in the fourth quarter! Opportunity lost!
Jalen Brunson picks up the second technical! This established player ejected! Shaky emotions under pressure!
This player on the come-up Jalen Brunson with a performance for the ages! A moment of pure magic chapter!
Mikal Bridges misses in the clutch! A two-handed slam off the mark in overtime!
Donte DiVincenzo sits alone on the bench. This next-level player processing the defeat.
Jalen Brunson whispers 'this can't be real' under his breath. Donte DiVincenzo nods without conviction. My evening? A microphone, cold coffee, and the greatest show on earth. What more could you ask for. That's all for tonight. And now: 'Deadliest Catch: Rush Hour on the Beltway.' Documentary.
Matchday 13 — vs Boston Ring-Chasers
101-111 (L)
This certified bucket Robert Wadlow comes out aggressive! Opens with a devastating dunk from the right corner!
Josh Hart fires an and-one from way beyond the arc but can't connect! Tendency to force bad shots showing!
Josh Hart passes to nobody! This player on the come-up with a head-scratching decision!
Donte DiVincenzo loses the screen battle! Ego the size of Texas around the picks!
Mikal Bridges, this tower, showcases a gym-rat work ethic with a gorgeous scoop layup!
The players disappear. Robert Wadlow has a makeshift neck brace out of a towel. Fun fact: Robert Wadlow is unbeatable at arm wrestling in the locker room. Even the center is scared. Both teams retake the floor. The best may be yet to come.
Jalen Brunson mutters to himself walking back! This league veteran fighting inner demons!
Robert Wadlow, this colossus, gets the separation but can't finish! Heavy feet!
This legit talent Josh Hart adjusts the angle mid-drive! A killer instinct body control!
This well-respected player Josh Hart can barely get up the court! Fatigue setting in!
Robert Wadlow walks off in silence. This established star gave it all but it wasn't enough.
Donte DiVincenzo sits down on the hardwood, head on his knees. Josh Hart puts a hand on his shoulder without saying a word. Final confession: I still don't know how to pronounce Donte DiVincenzo's name. Forgive me. We're signing off. And now: 'Musical Chairs: Subway Seat Edition.' Winner takes all.
Matchday 14 — vs San Antonio Skyscrapers
89-131 (L)
This guy with a proven track record Josh Hart in the starting lineup! Let's see what this guy with a proven track record brings!
Jalen Brunson with the off-balance off-balance shot! This guy with a proven track record couldn't set the feet!
Donte DiVincenzo takes off into a dead end from downtown! Turnover! Defense that's basically a suggestion!
Donte DiVincenzo, this mountain of a man, can't keep up with the speed! Tendency to rush exposed!
Jalen Brunson storms to the bench! This league veteran is visibly upset!
Intermission. Donte DiVincenzo dumps an entire water bottle over his head. Fun fact: Donte DiVincenzo failed the driving test three times. On the court it's a different story, thankfully. Back to hostilities. Faces have changed in the locker room.
Donte DiVincenzo forces up a fadeaway jumper over the defense! Occasional mental lapses! Bad decision!
Robert Wadlow tanks the play from tiredness! Tanked like a circus performer's energy for the game!
This player making noise Josh Hart with turnover number lengths ahead! Ego the size of Texas is piling up!
Jalen Brunson dishes and kicks the stanchion! This next-level player losing composure!
Jalen Brunson had the chances but couldn't convert. This guy with a proven track record left wanting.
Jalen Brunson's lip is trembling. Mikal Bridges dodges the cameras by pulling up his hood. Tonight my colleague told me I smell like stress. I told him it was my cologne. Alright, good night! Up next: 'Secret Life of Your Mailman.' Episode 47.
Matchday 15 — vs Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest
76-121 (L)
Tip-off! Josh Hart gets us started! Let's go!
Josh Hart spins the orange into nothing! Limited stamina on full display tonight!
Donte DiVincenzo rises up carelessly and gets stripped! Another giveaway!
Donte DiVincenzo gambles for the steal and pays the price! Defense that's basically a suggestion!
Mikal Bridges mouths off and picks up a T! Heavy feet taking over!
Break! Mikal Bridges rips his shoes off the second he reaches the locker room. Exclusive info: Mikal Bridges is banned for life from the McDonald's near the arena. The details remain murky. Back in action! The coach got the message across.
Donte DiVincenzo, this walking skyscraper, gets the look but can't convert facing the rim!
Donte DiVincenzo, this tower, looks exhausted facing the rim! The legs are gone!
Mikal Bridges, this titan, telegraphs the pass! Intercepted facing the rim!
Josh Hart can't mask the disappointment! This established player wearing it on the sleeve!
Donte DiVincenzo reflects on what could have been. Lack of consistency the difference tonight.
Mikal Bridges and Donte DiVincenzo share a single look. Just one. It contains all the disappointment in the world. My evening in summary: yell, drink coffee, yell again, spill the coffee, yell some more. Alright, good night! Up next: 'Secret Life of Your Mailman.' Episode 47.
My Team ends the season #9 with a 6W-9L record. Season MVP: Mikal Bridges.
Season journal
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