My dream starting five — basketball_team 🇺🇸

Matchday 1 — vs Detroit Engine-Roar

84-129 (L)

Nobody boxed out. Tip in, Detroit Engine-Roar, and two of ours were standing right there watching it happen.

Chris Paul turns the corner off the screen from Stephen Curry, the help never rotates, and the lane is WIDE open! Two points left on the floor by Stephen Curry, and those are exactly the ones that come back to bite you in the fourth.

Bucket for Detroit Engine-Roar. Wide open look, and nobody even ran at the shooter.

Hesitate, GO. Stephen Curry is by that hip before the man even blinks. Stephen Curry gets into the paint, sees the shot blocker rising, and simply lifts it over the top of him. Never had a prayer.

Stephen Curry throws both arms up and holds them there, letting the arena pull the sound out of him. Twenty thousand people on their feet at once. Thor grabs his shoulders from behind and shakes him like a snow globe. The floor is genuinely vibrating.

Push the pace! Chris Paul grabs it and hits Thor in stride before the defense can even match up. The player reads the screen perfectly, comes off shoulder to shoulder, and buys himself an open look. Veteran movement, rookie resume. The player tried the teardrop and never got it to the rim. Turns out soft touch does not come standard with that day job.

Halftime. Thor's hair is completely soaked, like climbing out of a pool. Little secret: Thor has a secret TikTok account with 12 followers. Posts cooking tutorials. And now, our halftime TV game show Antiques Roadshow but Everything is Broken! To win an inflatable canoe with a slow but very honest leak, text HOOPS to 555-0116 and answer this question: 'What is the going rate for a rebound in small claims court?' The players emerge from the tunnel. Stern faces, clenched fists.

That is the pass that beats a zone, and Chris Paul threw it before the help even committed. The player pulls out the crossover of his life, and Monday morning he clocks in like nothing ever happened. Thor rises up from fifteen feet and OHHHH, that rattled in and OUT!

Count it and the foul. Brutal. Detroit Engine-Roar with a three point play and a gut punch in the same possession.

The player just ran the length of the floor to erase a layup off the backboard. Frame that one for the break room! The player just threw an outlet that traveled farther than most people commute. Absurd. Stephen Curry attacks the baseline, the big man steps up to meet him, and it does not matter one bit. FILTHY.

Detroit Engine-Roar again, and again nobody is home. Three straight trips down the floor with zero resistance.

Laser from Thor, corner to corner, and that closeout gets there about a second and a half too late. STOP AND GO! Stephen Curry hit the brakes, hit the gas, and the lane opened up like a garage door. Stuck holding it as the clock bleeds out, Stephen Curry fades away from twenty-six feet, and it is not close.

The player makes the simple read look automatic. Clock out of work, clock in for clean basketball decisions. Chris Paul stutters at the elbow, the defender bites on it, and now there is nothing but open floor between him and the rim. Getting to his spot and elevating, Chris Paul puts it on the back iron, up over the front, and out. Half a rotation from two points.

Across half court, a quick survey, a point to the weak side, and Chris Paul drops it off to Thor on time and on target. The defender planted his feet, and Thor said thank you very much and drove straight through his front pocket. Two on the shot clock and the ball ends up with the player, which is how you get a twenty-eight footer off the wrong foot.

More second chance points for Detroit Engine-Roar, and our bench is up screaming for a timeout. Rightly so.

SKIP PASS! Thor fires it cross court to Chris Paul and the defense is dead in the water! Left, right, gone. Chris Paul put that defender on skates and never even looked back. Soft off the fingertips, the ball takes a full lap of the rim on Chris Paul, and spits straight back out. That is theft.

OHHHH the tension! Nobody is sitting, nobody is blinking, all of it rides on Chris Paul. No good! The ball is STILL sitting in the hand of Chris Paul when that light comes on. Waved off.

Chris Paul kicks his towel across the floor. Stephen Curry has already left for the locker room, alone. And here is the answer to our game Antiques Roadshow but Everything is Broken! Wayne Shropshire of Salt Lick Junction, Maine, got it right. The question, let me remind you, was 'What is the going rate for a rebound in small claims court?' The answer was of course twelve dollars, or one covered dish. Wayne takes home an inflatable canoe with a slow but very honest leak! During the third quarter, I spilled my soup. Yes, I had soup in the booth. Don't judge. See you soon. And now: '911: My Cat Climbed on Top of the Wardrobe.'

Matchday 2 — vs Miami Heart-Attack

93-129 (L)

Thor gets it on the reversal and now this defense is rotating, scrambling and losing ground, all because Stephen Curry saw it a beat early. Read, screen, delivery, right on the money. A player making the right pass every single time, and the league is taking notes. Buzzer on the shot clock, Stephen Curry heaves it off one leg, and the ball comes up short of everything.

Ohhh no. Corner three, Miami Heart-Attack in rhythm now, and our side of the building goes silent.

Here is the part that never makes the highlight package: Chris Paul controlling tempo, burning clock, hunting the mismatch the second one shows up. Watch the sell from Stephen Curry here, he leans in, he gets the defender leaning with him, and then he backs away into all that space. You can hear this arena react a half second before the ball even goes through, and that tells you everything about Stephen Curry.

Right hand to the mouthguard, out, pointed at the rafters, back in. Stephen Curry does not break stride once. Two rows of fans are hugging total strangers. Complete loss of composure in the entire lower bowl, and the game is nowhere near over.

Beautiful footwork on that one from Chris Paul, the pivot foot never budges, which is precisely why the whistle stays in the pocket. That is the shot chart lying to you. Chris Paul did everything right on this possession and has zero points to show for it.

Ball moves. Stephen Curry to Thor, on time and on target. Kick out to Thor, one more to Chris Paul, splash from the wing and this bench is on its feet. Chris Paul had that one all the way, perfect release, perfect arc, and the rim simply refuses to let it drop.

Halftime. Stephen Curry glances at his phone for two seconds and puts it back. Little scoop: Stephen Curry logs every game in a notebook. With stars and smiley faces. At that age. And now, our halftime TV game show Lingo but Nobody Speaks! To win a hot tub cover with no hot tub anywhere near it, text HOOPS to 555-0241 and answer this question: 'How many times can you refold a road map before it turns against you?' The players are back. Some look fresh, others... Not so much.

Cold blooded from Miami Heart-Attack, way out beyond the arc, and our defense is scrambling in rotation.

Chris Paul rips it back into the stepback and suddenly there is a country mile between him and that defender. Rim out for Chris Paul, the crowd came up and sat right back down, and you can hear the groan from every corner of the arena.

Turnover, layup, Miami Heart-Attack straight through us in transition. Careless basketball.

Nobody is touching the paint with the player parked in the middle of it. That is a full time defender doing a part time job, or the other way around. Nobody gambles less and steals more than Chris Paul. He does not reach, he anticipates, and that is the whole difference.

Total control. Chris Paul has this thing on a string. Stephen Curry crosses, crosses back, the defender slides half a step the wrong way and the whole arena lets out the same OHHHH. Prayer from Stephen Curry. Not answered.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! Stephen Curry just gift wrapped three free throws on a heat check.

And there it is, a walk-in layup for Miami Heart-Attack with not one hand raised in the paint. Somebody has to protect that rim.

Watch the spacing there, Stephen Curry hits Chris Paul right in the shooting pocket and the possession stays alive. Watch the change of pace from Chris Paul, half speed into full speed in one step, and that is a blow-by every time. That is the shot Chris Paul wants every trip down the floor, it drops nine nights out of ten, and tonight is the tenth.

Dagger from Miami Heart-Attack. You could hear the air leave this arena on that one.

Stephen Curry kicks it over to Chris Paul, no dribble, no drama, and this offense settles into a rhythm. One little shoulder dip from Chris Paul and the guy guarding him turned into a traffic cone in real time. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! Chris Paul builds the whole thing from nothing. No screen, no help, three points.

Chris Paul sprints to the sideline, hops onto the scorer's table and raises both fists. The stat crew grabs their laptops and security is already moving. A trainer hauls him down by the shorts before anybody gets fined. Worth it, obviously.

Chris Paul takes a sip of water and spits it right back out. Stephen Curry doesn't drink. Throat too tight. And here is the answer to our game Lingo but Nobody Speaks! Clovis Whittenberg of Number Nine Curve, New York, got it right. The question, let me remind you, was 'How many times can you refold a road map before it turns against you?' The answer was of course three, after which you simply live with it open. Clovis takes home a hot tub cover with no hot tub anywhere near it! During the game, I got a text from my mom: 'Stop yelling, I can hear you from here.' She lives 120 miles away. This was your favorite commentator. Coming up: 'Extreme Makeover: Garage Edition.' Don't change the channel. Or do.

Matchday 3 — vs Orlando Magic-Beans

84-128 (L)

Punish the help, that is the rule, and Chris Paul just did it by hitting Thor on the back side with acres of room. A player breaking down a professional defender in front of a sold out house! Remember that day job, folks! Pull-up from the elbow by Thor, halfway down, spinning inside the iron, and it pops right back out.

Turnover, layup, Orlando Magic-Beans straight through us in transition. Careless basketball.

SPIN and GO! Stephen Curry pirouettes right through the traffic and comes out the other side clean! That is another catch and shoot triple for Stephen Curry, and you can see the closeouts getting more desperate every single trip.

Flexing under the basket, mouth wide open, Stephen Curry roars at nobody in particular. The sound carries over the crowd noise, which should be physically impossible. The referee waits with folded arms, like a substitute teacher who has seen considerably worse.

Nobody boxed out. Tip in, Orlando Magic-Beans, and two of ours were standing right there watching it happen.

Not an inch to spare on the endline, but Stephen Curry keeps both feet in bounds and the help gets there a beat too late. Every highlight show in the country runs that clip tonight, and unfortunately for Stephen Curry he is on the wrong end of it.

Halftime. The doctor examines Stephen Curry's shoulder while the others catch their breath. Did you know Stephen Curry keeps a photo of his dog in his right shoe? It's a Bichon. And now, our halftime TV game show Beat the Shot Clock! To win a rusted horseshoe signed by a man named Dale, text HOOPS to 555-0533 and answer this question: 'What is the boiling point of nacho cheese at concession stand altitude?' Both teams retake the hardwood. Everything is still up for grabs.

OHHHH the hesi! Stephen Curry froze him solid and he is already gone! Stephen Curry went for the deep heat check and produced the loudest silence of the night, roar to OHHHH in half a second.

There was a clean look available and instead Chris Paul drives into three bodies and loses the handle. That is what a cold spell does to a good player. Nobody moved, nobody cut, nobody set a screen, so Thor launches a contested jumper with the horn already going. Ugly offense.

More second chance points for Orlando Magic-Beans, and our bench is up screaming for a timeout. Rightly so.

That hesitation move is exactly why they keep sending a second body at Chris Paul the moment he crosses half court. Chris Paul gathers on the baseline, absorbs contact from two bodies, and slams it home. That rim is still shaking.

Chris Paul finds the courtside camera lens, leans all the way in and says absolutely nothing. Just breathes on it. Eight seconds of national television filled by one enormous face. Thor photobombs with crossed eyes, and the clip runs on every highlight show by midnight.

Count it and the foul. Brutal. Orlando Magic-Beans with a three point play and a gut punch in the same possession.

You judge a locker room by moments like this. Stephen Curry makes the play, and every man on that sideline erupts right along with him. Clean block, all ball, no whistle, and Chris Paul jogs back down the floor like nothing happened.

Cold blooded from Orlando Magic-Beans, way out beyond the arc, and our defense is scrambling in rotation.

That is vision. Chris Paul sees the pocket open for a tenth of a second and puts the ball in it. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! That was IN for Stephen Curry!

Hands up, one stomp, a short speech, and the whistle answers. Technical foul on Thor, and the bench is stunned. You could see this coming three possessions ago, Thor had been chirping nonstop since that first technical.

Clean feed from Chris Paul, nothing forced, just the offense breathing. The player just created his own space with a stepback. Somewhere a scout is spitting coffee all over his notepad. Oh my. Thor did not even draw iron.

Chris Paul's complexion is grey. Thor's is red. Defeat comes in different colors. And here is the answer to our game show Beat the Shot Clock! Randall Meeks of Coon Holler Springs, Kentucky, got it right. The question, I remind you, was 'What is the boiling point of nacho cheese at concession stand altitude?' The answer was of course that it does not boil, it simply becomes more determined. Randall therefore wins a rusted horseshoe signed by a man named Dale! Final confession: I still don't know how to pronounce Chris Paul's name. Forgive me. Thanks for being here. Coming up: 'Forbidden Zone: Behind the Scenes of a Vending Machine.'

Matchday 4 — vs Philadelphia Injury-Report

73-117 (L)

Stephen Curry controls the tip, and the offense gets to run its first set on schedule. Little edges like that stack up over forty-eight minutes.

Dagger from Philadelphia Injury-Report. You could hear the air leave this arena on that one.

Eight seconds off the shot clock and Chris Paul has not wasted one of them, the ball reaching Stephen Curry precisely where the play wanted it. The big rolls, the defense collapses, and Stephen Curry punishes it with a read most guys never even see. Awful shot by Chris Paul with eleven still on the shot clock, off the front rim and out to the wing.

Give and go! Thor gives it up, cuts, and gets it right back with a clear lane to the cup! Rip through, one dribble, contact. Thor plays that little game better than anybody on this floor. Cash. Cash again. Thor pockets the two and jogs back on defense like nothing happened.

Thor crosses his arms into an X, plants his feet at the top of the key and dares somebody to say something. Nobody does. Stephen Curry mirrors the pose beside him. Two statues, twenty thousand people screaming, and every camera in the gym pointed at them.

Bucket for Philadelphia Injury-Report. Wide open look, and nobody even ran at the shooter.

The players disappear. Stephen Curry has a makeshift neck brace out of a towel. Little secret: Stephen Curry listens to Celine Dion to focus. I repeat, Celine Dion. And now, our halftime TV game show Fear Factor Free Throws! To win a truck bed liner for a truck nobody in the family owns, text HOOPS to 555-0952 and answer this question: 'How many miles does a coach pace during a close game?' Both teams return with fresh instructions from the coach.

Follow the ball there: four sets of hands, Stephen Curry makes the last read, and the defense never gets set. That is training camp offense. AIRBALL! Chris Paul missed the rim, the backboard and everything in between!

Chris Paul is barking at the official, arms out, eyes wide, and there it is. The T comes flying in. Composure is a skill, and Chris Paul just flunked the test at the worst imaginable moment for his team.

Ohhh no. Corner three, Philadelphia Injury-Report in rhythm now, and our side of the building goes silent.

That is a coaching staff completely out of answers. Chris Paul has taken this game over and the only tool left in the box is a stoppage.

That is the pass nobody puts on a highlight reel, and Thor makes it every single trip down the floor. Baseline spin from Stephen Curry at full speed, and his man never even gets a hand into the picture. Filthy stuff. That little shot is what keeps guards employed in this league, and Stephen Curry has it on a string tonight.

Nobody boxed out. Tip in, Philadelphia Injury-Report, and two of ours were standing right there watching it happen.

Whistle! Chris Paul got hacked on the way up. Two shots coming. Wide left and nowhere near it, Chris Paul delivers the ball straight to the baseline photographer. Uncontested.

Philadelphia Injury-Report again, and again nobody is home. Three straight trips down the floor with zero resistance.

Set called, Thor waved out to the corner, and Chris Paul watches the spacing open up like a front door. Stephen Curry sets it and slides out instead of rolling, Thor finds him late, and the defense pays for cheating under the screen. Stephen Curry fires that thing at the backboard like it owes him money. No chance from the moment it left his hand.

You can teach a lot of things at this level, but not lateral quickness. Chris Paul is doing a fine traffic cone impression. Goaltending on Chris Paul. Great athleticism, terrible timing.

Thor bites his lip, fists clenched. Stephen Curry shakes his head slowly, in disbelief. And here is the answer to our game show Fear Factor Free Throws! Charlene Bumgarner of Hushpuppy Ridge, New Hampshire, got it right. The question, I remind you, was 'How many miles does a coach pace during a close game?' The answer was of course two point six miles, all of it inside a nine foot box. Charlene therefore wins a truck bed liner for a truck nobody in the family owns! I learned backstage that Stephen Curry also does volunteer firefighter on weekends. That explains those reflexes. Until next time! Up next: 'Kitchen Nightmares: Corporate Cafeteria.' This is gonna be good.

Matchday 5 — vs Phoenix No-Defense

89-133 (L)

The referee tosses it high and Stephen Curry rises late, which is exactly how you win one of these. Timing over height, every single time.

Ball up the floor, change of speed right at the logo, and Chris Paul already has the defense a full step behind. Nobody is getting a hand near that. Thor has all the room in the world. Long and gone. Thor floats the teardrop over everything and bangs it off the back iron.

And there it is, a walk-in layup for Phoenix No-Defense with not one hand raised in the paint. Somebody has to protect that rim.

You want basketball IQ? Ask the player, who just moved the rock on time without one wasted dribble. Pass, cut, catch, wide open. Four things in about a second and a half from Chris Paul. Chris Paul beat the clock by a tenth of a second and missed by about four feet. Technically legal, competitively pointless.

Bucket for Phoenix No-Defense. Wide open look, and nobody even ran at the shooter.

Halftime whistle. Stephen Curry high-fives his teammates on the way out. Exclusive info: Stephen Curry is banned for life from the McDonald's near the arena. The details remain murky. And now, our halftime TV game show The Great American Trivia Barn! To win a plastic owl that is supposed to scare pigeons but does not, text HOOPS to 555-1183 and answer this question: 'Which knee does a former player mention first at a class reunion?' Both teams return. You can tell the coach gave them an earful.

OHHHH the separation! Chris Paul just manufactured three feet of daylight out of absolutely nothing. They do not teach that footwork anymore, and yet here is Chris Paul running a full masterclass on the low block.

Nobody boxed out. Tip in, Phoenix No-Defense, and two of ours were standing right there watching it happen.

OHHHH, what a read by Thor! He never even glanced at the rim and it is CASH on the other end. Chris Paul blows the wide open layup!

The ball travels faster than five defenders can, and Thor has known that all night long. Ball into Thor at the elbow, Chris Paul plants his foot and goes backdoor, and the pass meets him in the air. Filthy. That is a throwback bucket: Chris Paul with his back to the basket, and the defense has absolutely no answer for it.

The too-small gesture, aimed straight at the Phoenix No-Defense bench, both hands measuring an inch of air. Their coach is out of his chair and onto the officials. Chris Paul keeps the pose, unblinking, backpedaling all the way. The arena hits a decibel level that clips the broadcast mics.

Count it and the foul. Brutal. Phoenix No-Defense with a three point play and a gut punch in the same possession.

Chris Paul launches it weak side, one pass, and the whole shell has to sprint. Good luck with that. OHHHH the pocket pass! Stephen Curry splits the coverage and the roll man is loose under the basket! Textbook footwork, textbook release from Chris Paul, cruel result as it spins out and both teams go up for a contested board.

You can read it right off the scoreboard: not one point since the last stoppage, and Chris Paul is pressing badly now. Shot clock at one, and Thor just has to throw something at the rim. Nothing doing.

Stephen Curry feels the contact, spins off that shoulder, and the defender is left hugging a whole lot of nothing. OH NO. Stephen Curry launched from WAY downtown and the closeout took his landing spot. Three free throws.

Ohhh no. Corner three, Phoenix No-Defense in rhythm now, and our side of the building goes silent.

Over the top of everybody. Chris Paul to Thor in the corner, wide open, catch and rise. Chris Paul sets the pick and DIVES to the cup. Thor lays it right on his hands in traffic! Twenty-four seconds of standing around, and Chris Paul has to eat the last two of them. Possession wasted long before the shot went up.

Thor unclasps his chain and squeezes it in his fist. Chris Paul runs a hand down his face. And here is the answer to our game show The Great American Trivia Barn! Garland Shoemaker of Rickety Bridge, New York, got it right. The question, I remind you, was 'Which knee does a former player mention first at a class reunion?' The answer was of course the left one, always, in every county we surveyed. Garland therefore wins a plastic owl that is supposed to scare pigeons but does not! I spent the evening standing up and sitting down every thirty seconds. My Fitbit is congratulating me. That's all for today. Up next: 'Dateline: The True Cost of a Cup of Yogurt.' Deep investigation.

Matchday 6 — vs Los Angeles Nursing-Home

79-124 (L)

Three seconds on the player. Punctuality is apparently a work-hours-only skill. Free possession, donated.

Turnover, layup, Los Angeles Nursing-Home straight through us in transition. Careless basketball.

Worst possession of the night for the other team, and Chris Paul just turned it into three points at the stripe. Free of charge. There is no choice to make here. Four fouls with this much clock left means Chris Paul sits and the lead has to survive without him.

A head coach with a full staff and a scouting report just called timeout because of the player. Read that sentence back slowly.

Nobody boxed out. Tip in, Los Angeles Nursing-Home, and two of ours were standing right there watching it happen.

Rest. Chris Paul buries his head in a wet towel and doesn't move. Juicy anecdote: Chris Paul was caught dancing the Macarena in the showers. Alone. And now, our halftime TV game show Briefcase Roulette! To win a portable radio that only picks up farm reports, text HOOPS to 555-0561 and answer this question: 'How many towels does a bench player go through during a blowout?' The arena lights up, the players are back. Game on.

This is the work that never shows up in a box score, and Thor just took two points off the board without a single stat.

Whirl, and GONE! Chris Paul leaves the defender grabbing at a jersey that stopped being there half a second ago. There is no finesse in that, and there does not need to be. Chris Paul simply decided the paint belonged to him.

Right hand to the mouthguard, out, pointed at the rafters, back in. Chris Paul does not break stride once. Two rows of fans are hugging total strangers. Complete loss of composure in the entire lower bowl, and the game is nowhere near over.

Cold blooded from Los Angeles Nursing-Home, way out beyond the arc, and our defense is scrambling in rotation.

Chris Paul slides, closes out, recovers. The ball goes all the way around the perimeter and comes back with nothing. OHHHH, Stephen Curry just took that thing right out of his hands!

Dagger from Los Angeles Nursing-Home. You could hear the air leave this arena on that one.

Stephen Curry goes up with the hands to the ceiling and the shot comes off the front rim. Textbook verticality. OUTLET! Chris Paul rips the board and fires it ahead to Thor before anybody gets back! Put him on skates, then put him on a POSTER. Thor owns the highlight reel tonight.

Thor mimes putting a whole section to sleep, hands folded against his cheek, eyes shut. He is facing the Los Angeles Nursing-Home fans who paid for the good seats. They boo. He nods along with the boos, which somehow makes the home crowd louder.

You want basketball IQ? Ask the player, who just moved the rock on time without one wasted dribble. Right idea, no zip on it, and at this level Stephen Curry either puts some heat on that ball or he keeps it in his hands.

Los Angeles Nursing-Home again, and again nobody is home. Three straight trips down the floor with zero resistance.

That is the pass that beats a zone, and Chris Paul threw it before the help even committed. OHHHH he went BACKDOOR! Thor never broke stride and he has the ball UNDER THE RIM! Not a hand on him. Thor flat missed the bunny.

Under review. Thor does not know yet whether he is the hero or the footnote. The officials come back out, cross their arms, and Thor goes from hero to spectator on one signal.

Thor replays the score in his head on a loop. Stephen Curry tries to think about something else. And here is the answer to our game show Briefcase Roulette! Ardith Sprague of Chicken Wing, Illinois, got it right. The question, I remind you, was 'How many towels does a bench player go through during a blowout?' The answer was of course nine, and one of them is purely decorative. Ardith therefore wins a portable radio that only picks up farm reports! Your favorite commentator survived. It's not much, but it's honest work. That's it for tonight. Coming up: 'Nailed It: Cakes Ruined by My Mother-in-Law.'

Matchday 7 — vs Toronto Border-Patrol

88-132 (L)

Turnover, layup, Toronto Border-Patrol straight through us in transition. Careless basketball.

One little shoulder dip from Stephen Curry and the guy guarding him turned into a traffic cone in real time. Fifth possession this half where Stephen Curry has been left to bail everybody out with the clock at zero. He cannot keep doing this alone.

Chris Paul launches it weak side, one pass, and the whole shell has to sprint. Good luck with that. Baseline wide open. Stephen Curry said thank you. Off the back iron for Stephen Curry, that one had all the distance and none of the accuracy, and the board goes the other way.

And there it is, a walk-in layup for Toronto Border-Patrol with not one hand raised in the paint. Somebody has to protect that rim.

Chris Paul just took a shoulder to the chest to buy Stephen Curry half a second, and half a second in this league is an eternity. That stepback is unguardable once the drive gets sold, and Stephen Curry has had that defender guessing wrong all night long.

Break time. Chris Paul bolts to the locker room without looking at anyone. Little scoop: Chris Paul collects Pokemon cards. That Charizard is worth more than his first contract. And now, our halftime TV game show Beat the Clock Radio! To win a coupon book for a car wash that closed in 2011, text HOOPS to 555-0022 and answer this question: 'Why is the mascot always slightly damp?' The players charge out of the tunnel. Smells like a comeback.

More second chance points for Toronto Border-Patrol, and our bench is up screaming for a timeout. Rightly so.

You want basketball IQ? Ask the player, who just moved the rock on time without one wasted dribble. That is the third live-ball giveaway of the half, and each one has been the same read: Stephen Curry deciding late and throwing early.

Over the top of everybody. Stephen Curry to Thor in the corner, wide open, catch and rise. Watch the change of pace from Thor, half speed into full speed in one step, and that is a blow-by every time. The player launched one from the logo as the horn sounded. In fairness, nobody in that huddle gave him a better option.

Nobody boxed out. Tip in, Toronto Border-Patrol, and two of ours were standing right there watching it happen.

Right on time, not a half step late. Thor makes that ball handler pull it back out with absolutely nothing to show for it. Contested! Thor makes him change it in midair.

Two defenders collide on the handoff and Thor is gone, so Chris Paul earned that one even if the box score disagrees. Gift wrapped by Chris Paul, and Thor cannot finish the two footer. That one is going to sting.

Dagger from Toronto Border-Patrol. You could hear the air leave this arena on that one.

Chris Paul guesses left, the ball handler goes right, and suddenly this is a two-on-one before anybody can rotate.

Stephen Curry attacks the baseline and the ENTIRE defense has to rotate behind him! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! Stephen Curry rose up over the help and hammered it down on somebody's head!

Bent double with his hands on his knees, Stephen Curry takes one breath, straightens up and points at the coach who drew the play in the huddle. The coach nods once, no smile. Chris Paul pounds the man's shoulder anyway. Respect, delivered at maximum volume.

The strategy of the desperate, executed to perfection by Thor. Foul, stop the clock, pray at the other end, repeat.

Stephen Curry refuses the coach's embrace. Thor accepts it but his body is stiff. And here is the answer to our game Beat the Clock Radio! Buford Wamsley of Cement City, Michigan, got it right. The question, let me remind you, was 'Why is the mascot always slightly damp?' The answer was of course that is strictly between the mascot and the mascot. Buford takes home a coupon book for a car wash that closed in 2011! I spent the evening looking for a stat that couldn't be found. It didn't exist. I made one up. See you soon. Coming up: 'Extreme Couponing: Family of Eight at Walmart.' Double episode.

Matchday 8 — vs Minnesota Ice-Wall

74-118 (L)

Reverse it, make them slide all over again, that is how Thor breaks a shell down. You can teach the jumper, you cannot teach the willingness, and Stephen Curry gives up a decent shot every single time a better one exists. Rises, releases, and Chris Paul sends the ball through the exact patch of sky where the rim is not.

A probe, a plant of the outside foot, and Chris Paul pushes off while his man is still fighting to recover his balance. Buzzer on the shot clock, Chris Paul heaves it off one leg, and the ball comes up short of everything.

Count it and the foul. Brutal. Minnesota Ice-Wall with a three point play and a gut punch in the same possession.

Bench energy is real currency over a long season, and Thor just handed his teammates a full bank account.

Nobody boxed out. Tip in, Minnesota Ice-Wall, and two of ours were standing right there watching it happen.

Finally a breather. Stephen Curry has calf cramps, the physio rushes over. Word is Stephen Curry sleeps with his basketball shoes on. I can't confirm it, but the source is reliable. And now, our halftime TV game show High Rollers Low Ceilings! To win a beach towel printed with a map of a landlocked county, text HOOPS to 555-1024 and answer this question: 'How many timeouts can a coach call before the crowd revolts?' Both teams return with fresh instructions from the coach.

Thor felt it, the bench felt it, the arena felt it, and the rim felt absolutely nothing.

Ohhh no. Corner three, Minnesota Ice-Wall in rhythm now, and our side of the building goes silent.

Emotions boiled over and Thor pays for it, because he was the one still swinging when the cameras found the pile.

Chest to chest, forearm legal, feet churning, Thor wins the battle for position before the move even begins. Rebound, look, gone. Thor to Stephen Curry and this is a footrace now. Nasty finish. Stephen Curry hangs, adjusts in midair, and drops it through.

Stephen Curry hangs on the rim one extra beat, letting the whole arena wait on him, then drops down into a dead-eyed mean mug. Thor shoves him in the chest just to get a reaction. Nothing. Stone face on a man who just changed the game.

Over the top of everybody. Stephen Curry to Chris Paul in the corner, wide open, catch and rise. This is the work that never shows up on a stat sheet, Chris Paul gets the credit and the guy setting the screen gets the bruise. Chris Paul beat the clock by a tenth of a second and missed by about four feet. Technically legal, competitively pointless.

Minnesota Ice-Wall again, and again nobody is home. Three straight trips down the floor with zero resistance.

Everybody in the arena knew the stepback was coming from Stephen Curry, and not one single soul could do anything about it. Rising up out of the corner, Stephen Curry sends it LONG, clanging off the far side and out to the wing.

Bucket for Minnesota Ice-Wall. Wide open look, and nobody even ran at the shooter.

The defender planted his feet, and Chris Paul said thank you very much and drove straight through his front pocket. The block is clean, the ball is gone, and Chris Paul is left staring at his empty hands like a man who lost his keys.

The assistant points at the far corner, the head coach points at Chris Paul, and the other three get told exactly where to stand. Sixty seconds in the huddle and Chris Paul cashes it without a single wasted dribble. Textbook.

The too-small gesture, aimed straight at the Minnesota Ice-Wall bench, both hands measuring an inch of air. Their coach is out of his chair and onto the officials. Chris Paul keeps the pose, unblinking, backpedaling all the way. The arena hits a decibel level that clips the broadcast mics.

Thor takes off his shoes and carries them like a ghost. Chris Paul follows the same path. And here is the answer to our game show High Rollers Low Ceilings! Marlene Trickett of Cornsilk Junction, South Dakota, got it right. The question, I remind you, was 'How many timeouts can a coach call before the crowd revolts?' The answer was of course three, and the fourth one starts a conversation nobody enjoys. Marlene therefore wins a beach towel printed with a map of a landlocked county! Evening confession: I'm wearing Thor's jersey under my shirt. For morale. See you soon. And now: '911: My Cat Climbed on Top of the Wardrobe.'

Matchday 9 — vs Houston Blast-Off

78-122 (L)

Swing, swing, and Stephen Curry finds Thor on the wing before the help can even turn its head. The player takes the baseline and bends an entire defense out of shape. Absolutely absurd stuff in this building tonight. Missed layup for the player and the whole arena groans as one. Great hands in the day job, apparently they do not travel.

Cold blooded from Houston Blast-Off, way out beyond the arc, and our defense is scrambling in rotation.

A single dribble is all Stephen Curry needed to get downhill, and the back side of that defense is in complete disarray. In, around, and gone. The iron gives Stephen Curry nothing.

Back at the shop they have got this review up on every phone with the player in the frame, and nobody is getting any work done. BAAAANG, make that THREE! The replay has the toe of Thor clean behind the line!

Somebody's towel goes up, then thirty of them, and the bench turns into a laundry emergency. Thor stands in the middle of it with his arms out, letting them rain down on his head. An assistant coach is spinning one like a helicopter. Institutional collapse.

OHHHH that is filthy! Chris Paul on the handoff and the man guarding it is still fighting over the top. Down, up, and gone for Thor. The rim is just toying with him now.

Halftime. The doctor examines Chris Paul's shoulder while the others catch their breath. Fun fact: Chris Paul was voted best-looking player on the team. By his mom. In a poll she created herself. And now, our halftime TV game show Name That Smell! To win a barbecue apron that reads KISS THE FORKLIFT OPERATOR, text HOOPS to 555-0357 and answer this question: 'Which is heavier, a pound of orange slices or a pound of team spirit?' Break's over, time for basketball. Let's go.

Hard drive, hard stop, and Stephen Curry retreats into an ocean of open hardwood. OFF THE IRON and halfway to the bench! Stephen Curry missed that one with real conviction.

And there it is, a walk-in layup for Houston Blast-Off with not one hand raised in the paint. Somebody has to protect that rim.

Punish the help, that is the rule, and Chris Paul just did it by hitting Thor on the back side with acres of room. Screened, toasted, done. Thor is loose and the defense is scrambling to find him. Catching it right at the cup with nobody within eight feet, Thor goes up too strong and the ball rides high off the backboard.

Dagger from Houston Blast-Off. You could hear the air leave this arena on that one.

Stephen Curry hands it off to Chris Paul, slices through the seam, and the return pass is sitting there waiting at the rim. Shot clock at one, and Stephen Curry just has to throw something at the rim. Nothing doing.

Chris Paul walks it up, two fingers in the air, and the whole offense shifts on his command. Full stop, full sprint, and the player is in the paint! Nobody back at the workplace is going to believe this one. AROUND the cylinder and OUT! Thor cannot believe it, and neither can this building.

Ohhh no. Corner three, Houston Blast-Off in rhythm now, and our side of the building goes silent.

Ball up the floor, change of speed right at the logo, and Chris Paul already has the defense a full step behind. Enough room out there to set up a lawn chair, and the player made it himself. Total professional, in a completely unrelated profession. So close. Thor can only stare at the iron.

Bucket for Houston Blast-Off. Wide open look, and nobody even ran at the shooter.

Here is the part that never makes the highlight package: Chris Paul controlling tempo, burning clock, hunting the mismatch the second one shows up. Right through the window. Thor to Chris Paul on the roll, and the help was a half step late. The whistle blows, the crowd erupts, and Chris Paul hangs on the iron just long enough to make his point.

Chris Paul watches the crowd file out in silence. Stephen Curry prefers not to look. And here is the answer to our game Name That Smell! Odell Trippett of Broke Axle, Alaska, got it right. The question, let me remind you, was 'Which is heavier, a pound of orange slices or a pound of team spirit?' The answer was of course the orange slices, and it is not close. Odell takes home a barbecue apron that reads KISS THE FORKLIFT OPERATOR! During the third quarter, I spilled my soup. Yes, I had soup in the booth. Don't judge. Good evening! Up next: 'Fixer Upper: Renovating a Studio on a Twelve-Dollar Budget.' Challenge accepted.

Matchday 10 — vs Denver Horse-Track

81-125 (L)

Turnover, layup, Denver Horse-Track straight through us in transition. Careless basketball.

One little shoulder dip from Stephen Curry and the guy guarding him turned into a traffic cone in real time. Blocked into the floor. Stephen Curry will be seeing that one in his sleep.

Denver Horse-Track again, and again nobody is home. Three straight trips down the floor with zero resistance.

No hero ball here: Chris Paul takes what the defense gives and moves it along. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! Thor whips that pass one-handed on the move and the roll man gathers it through contact. Filthy. Second pass beats the rotation, Stephen Curry to Thor, and the closeout gets there about half a second too late. The player just created that shot from scratch and drained it. Not bad for somebody clocking in at a real job tomorrow morning.

Thor cups a hand to his ear and turns a slow full circle, milking every section. The upper deck answers louder than the lower bowl, so he points up there and nods. Stephen Curry joins the spin. Forty seconds of noise before anybody inbounds the ball.

Push the pace! Chris Paul grabs it and hits Stephen Curry in stride before the defense can even match up. That is a self-created look of the highest order, and there might be five guys in this league who get to it on demand the way Stephen Curry does. Not close, not warm, not anywhere for Stephen Curry, straight into the hands of a defender who never had to leave his feet.

The players disappear into the tunnel. Thor asks for an ice pack. Anecdote: Thor once wore his jersey inside out for the entire first quarter. Nobody dared say anything. And now, our halftime TV game show Last Call Bingo! To win a lifetime pass to a museum of regional soil, text HOOPS to 555-0150 and answer this question: 'How many people does it take to change a light bulb in a scoreboard?' The players step onto the hardwood once more. The second half starts now.

Laser from Chris Paul, corner to corner, and that closeout gets there about a second and a half too late. Oldest play in the book and it still works: Stephen Curry passes, the defender peeks at the ball, and that one beat is the whole possession. That is a dime from Chris Paul that deserved so much better, and Stephen Curry knows it, head down, jogging back before the ball even lands.

Ohhh no. Corner three, Denver Horse-Track in rhythm now, and our side of the building goes silent.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! Stephen Curry chases the referee half the length of the floor and pays for it with a technical. Stephen Curry would not let it go. He already had one, he knew the rule, and he kept talking anyway.

More second chance points for Denver Horse-Track, and our bench is up screaming for a timeout. Rightly so.

Over the top of everybody. Chris Paul to Thor in the corner, wide open, catch and rise. Screen, roll, DELIVERY from Thor! Nothing but runway to the rim! Perfect drop-off from Thor, and Stephen Curry answers with... whatever that was. Off the glass, off the rim, and gone.

Count it and the foul. Brutal. Denver Horse-Track with a three point play and a gut punch in the same possession.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! Stephen Curry spun out of a double team like it was a revolving door! Chris Paul threads a BEAUTY to Stephen Curry under the rim and... he lays it off the bottom of the iron! Ohhhh, no.

Clean feed from Stephen Curry, nothing forced, just the offense breathing. The player just froze a grown professional with a hesitation dribble. This man punches a clock and he is out here doing THAT. The player just fired one in from the logo and the roof nearly came off this place. That is in nobody's job description.

Right hand to the mouthguard, out, pointed at the rafters, back in. Thor does not break stride once. Two rows of fans are hugging total strangers. Complete loss of composure in the entire lower bowl, and the game is nowhere near over.

Chris Paul comes flying off that screen and he is WIDE open! It went halfway down! The ball sat in the cylinder, thought about it, and rolled off the far side on Chris Paul. Cruel.

Look how low Stephen Curry keeps that shoulder on the drive, that is how you turn a sliver of space into a walk to the rim. Stephen Curry lets it FLY from way downtown and... front rim. Not this time.

Thor pulls his cap down over his eyes. Stephen Curry doesn't have a cap, and it shows. And here is the answer to our game Last Call Bingo! Leon Poteet of Fence Post, Hawaii, got it right. The question, let me remind you, was 'How many people does it take to change a light bulb in a scoreboard?' The answer was of course four, plus one man who insists he could have done it alone. Leon takes home a lifetime pass to a museum of regional soil! During the break, I tried to juggle three balls. My cameraman filmed everything. It'll come out someday. Good evening! Coming up: 'Dancing with the Stars: My Cousin's Wedding Edition.' Open bar.

Matchday 11 — vs New York Over-Timers

80-124 (L)

Ohhh no. Corner three, New York Over-Timers in rhythm now, and our side of the building goes silent.

Watch the sell from Stephen Curry here, he leans in, he gets the defender leaning with him, and then he backs away into all that space. That is what heavy minutes do, Stephen Curry has run all night and the legs have nothing left to give the jumper.

Stephen Curry splits the coverage with a bounce pass you need slow motion to appreciate. Dimes. Chris Paul rises up from fifteen feet and OHHHH, that rattled in and OUT!

Turnover, layup, New York Over-Timers straight through us in transition. Careless basketball.

The player just threaded a pocket pass through two defenders. Where exactly did that vision come from? Nobody touched him, nobody trapped him, and Stephen Curry still coughed it up. Easiest whistle these officials will blow all night.

Into the tunnel. Stephen Curry grabs a banana on the way and devours it. Rumor has it Stephen Curry has been wearing the same lucky underwear for three seasons. The medical staff is concerned. And now, our halftime TV game show Church Picnic Wipeout! To win an above-ground pool ladder with no pool attached, text HOOPS to 555-0158 and answer this question: 'How much popcorn is in a large at the concession stand, honestly?' The buzzer calls the players. Time for the show, act II.

The help defender committed way too early, and Chris Paul made him pay for it with a spin they will be replaying all week. BAAAANG! Chris Paul gets hammered, banks it in anyway, and here comes the bonus.

Screen, hesitation, delivery, Chris Paul drops it off perfectly for Stephen Curry diving to the rim. Runner in the lane by Stephen Curry, high off the fingertips, straight down through the net. Splash!

Kisses the biceps, one and then the other, and Stephen Curry strolls to the free throw line like a man on vacation. Chris Paul fans him with a rolled-up game program. The bench is in tears. Even the guy running the game clock is grinning into his monitor.

Count it and the foul. Brutal. New York Over-Timers with a three point play and a gut punch in the same possession.

Eyes on the ball, brain somewhere else, and both feet parked in the paint. Chris Paul has to give that one back.

No hero ball here: Stephen Curry takes what the defense gives and moves it along. POCKET PASS! Chris Paul threads it to Thor between two bodies and the rim is wide open! The player gets it handed over on a silver platter at point blank range and drops it. Somewhere in this building a coach is questioning every decision that led here.

Cold blooded from New York Over-Timers, way out beyond the arc, and our defense is scrambling in rotation.

Nobody dribbled, nobody isolated, Stephen Curry and Thor just played basketball and the defense got shredded. Way short from Stephen Curry off the bounce, the ball dies on the front of the rim and drops into traffic.

And there it is, a walk-in layup for New York Over-Timers with not one hand raised in the paint. Somebody has to protect that rim.

Punish the help, that is the rule, and Stephen Curry just did it by hitting Chris Paul on the back side with acres of room. Working him at the top of the key, low dribble, low dribble, then Chris Paul rips it across and his man lunges at a ghost. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! Two points in every gym in America except this one, and Chris Paul is walking back with both hands on his head.

Chased down from behind and wrapped up before he can get into his dribble, all courtesy of Thor. Here comes the free throw parade.

Thor refuses the coach's embrace. Stephen Curry accepts it but his body is stiff. And here is the answer to our game Church Picnic Wipeout! Charlene Pigg of Hatchet Handle, North Carolina, got it right. The question, let me remind you, was 'How much popcorn is in a large at the concession stand, honestly?' The answer was of course a medium and a rumor. Charlene takes home an above-ground pool ladder with no pool attached! I tried taking notes during the game. My notebook is full of incomprehensible scribbles. Thanks everyone! Up next: 'Ice Road Truckers: Uber Eats Delivery on a Rainy Night.'

Matchday 12 — vs Cleveland Twin-Towers

88-132 (L)

Nobody boxed out. Tip in, Cleveland Twin-Towers, and two of ours were standing right there watching it happen.

Watch the spacing there, Thor hits Chris Paul right in the shooting pocket and the possession stays alive. The extra pass! Chris Paul had the look, gave it up anyway, and Stephen Curry buries it. BANG! Watch the footwork there from Stephen Curry on the catch, squared up before the ball ever arrives. That is exactly why it goes down so clean.

Blowing smoke off two fingers like a gunslinger, Stephen Curry holsters them in his waistband. Chris Paul plays dead on the baseline. The mascot joins the bit uninvited. A referee has to physically separate a celebration from an inbound play.

Cold blooded from Cleveland Twin-Towers, way out beyond the arc, and our defense is scrambling in rotation.

OHHHH the bench is GONE! Towels over heads, bodies off the chairs, all because of Stephen Curry! The entry pass goes in, Stephen Curry beats the big man to it, and this building is already standing up.

Set called, Thor waved out to the corner, and Chris Paul watches the spacing open up like a front door. Watch Stephen Curry plant his feet, absorb the hit, and spring Thor out of that corner in a blink. OHHHH, that one died in the air! Thor put nothing into it and the front rim eats the floater.

Halftime whistle. Chris Paul has dried blood on his elbow but plays tough. Intel: Chris Paul refuses to play if the ball isn't inflated to exactly 8 PSI. Not 7.9, not 8.1. Eight. And now, our halftime TV game show Shop Til You Flop! To win a lifetime membership in a book club that owns one book, text HOOPS to 555-0983 and answer this question: 'How many gallons of orange drink are sold at a fairground gym?' Resumption imminent. The players wrap up their express warm-up.

And there it is, a walk-in layup for Cleveland Twin-Towers with not one hand raised in the paint. Somebody has to protect that rim.

Oh, Thor wanted to be heard. Congratulations, he was heard. Free throw the other way.

Punish the help, that is the rule, and Chris Paul just did it by hitting Thor on the back side with acres of room. The player just ran that two-man game like he has a decade of film on it. Somebody get this man a contract. Fifth possession this half where Stephen Curry has been left to bail everybody out with the clock at zero. He cannot keep doing this alone.

Ohhh no. Corner three, Cleveland Twin-Towers in rhythm now, and our side of the building goes silent.

Chris Paul pushes it in transition, pulls up from the elbow, cash. That is a 10-0 run and the visitors have not scored in three minutes. The opposing coach is off his seat waving both arms before the ball is even inbounded. Stephen Curry forced that.

That is the pass nobody puts on a highlight reel, and Chris Paul makes it every single trip down the floor. Off the pin-down comes the player with nobody inside a zip code. Somebody out there knows how to use a screen, and it is not who you would guess. A cruel spin-out for the player, and whatever that day job is, tonight it came with a brand new way to break your heart.

Two guys on the exact same page, Thor and Chris Paul, and the defense is left holding a bag of nothing. The player lines one up from four feet behind the line and the rim rejects the application on the spot. Back to the day job on that possession.

That is the pass that beats a zone, and Chris Paul threw it before the help even committed. Oldest play in the book, and Stephen Curry runs it in his sleep. That drop coverage never had a prayer. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! That was IN for Thor!

Cleveland Twin-Towers again, and again nobody is home. Three straight trips down the floor with zero resistance.

OHHHH the hesi! Stephen Curry froze him solid and he is already gone! The bench has cleared, the crowd is screaming, and somewhere a photographer just got the shot of the season thanks to Stephen Curry.

Stephen Curry finds the courtside camera lens, leans all the way in and says absolutely nothing. Just breathes on it. Eight seconds of national television filled by one enormous face. Chris Paul photobombs with crossed eyes, and the clip runs on every highlight show by midnight.

Chris Paul isolates in a corner, back against the wall. Stephen Curry tries to talk. He raises a hand to say no. And here is the answer to our game show Shop Til You Flop! Roberta Yoakum of Cedar Stump, Vermont, got it right. The question, I remind you, was 'How many gallons of orange drink are sold at a fairground gym?' The answer was of course eighty gallons, and only nine people will admit to buying any. Roberta therefore wins a lifetime membership in a book club that owns one book! On my end, I discovered the arena's coffee machine was broken. The game nearly went uncommentated. Alright, good evening! Now it's 'Love Is in the Parking Lot.' Romance guaranteed.

Matchday 13 — vs Boston Ring-Chasers

84-128 (L)

Eight seconds off the shot clock and Chris Paul has not wasted one of them, the ball reaching Thor precisely where the play wanted it. OHHHH the pin-down! Thor pops out clean while the defender is STILL tangled up with Stephen Curry. Brutal. That is the shot Thor wants every trip down the floor, it drops nine nights out of ten, and tonight is the tenth.

And there it is, a walk-in layup for Boston Ring-Chasers with not one hand raised in the paint. Somebody has to protect that rim.

Textbook two-man game: Chris Paul keeps the dribble alive, forces the big man to commit, and Stephen Curry rolls into an open runway. You can hear that rim ringing from up here, Stephen Curry has forced three in a row now and the whole offense has stopped moving.

More second chance points for Boston Ring-Chasers, and our bench is up screaming for a timeout. Rightly so.

The player makes the simple read look automatic. Clock out of work, clock in for clean basketball decisions. Stephen Curry holds it, waits, waits some more, then lets it go at the last possible instant to Thor flying by. That is a half-second window and he threads it. No touch. Thor left the soft hands in the locker room tonight.

Rest time. Stephen Curry isolates in a corner of the locker room, headphones on. Juicy intel: Stephen Curry turned down an endorsement deal because he'd have to wear a mascot costume. And now, our halftime TV game show The Dating Game of Horseshoes! To win a cast-iron skillet seasoned by four generations of strangers, text HOOPS to 555-0313 and answer this question: 'What is the world record for longest halftime shot made by a man holding a soft drink?' Break's over, time for basketball. Let's go.

Reverse it, make them slide all over again, that is how Stephen Curry breaks a shell down. Read, screen, delivery, right on the money. A player making the right pass every single time, and the league is taking notes. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! That was IN for Chris Paul!

Dagger from Boston Ring-Chasers. You could hear the air leave this arena on that one.

From WAY downtown off the pop! Chris Paul with the extra pass and CASH. Stephen Curry rises, the big man rises higher, and the shot is stuffed into the second row. Return to sender.

Nobody boxed out. Tip in, Boston Ring-Chasers, and two of ours were standing right there watching it happen.

Clean feed from Stephen Curry, nothing forced, just the offense breathing. Chris Paul drives, draws two bodies, and swings it one more time to the corner. That is the pass nobody is required to make. It went halfway down! The ball sat in the cylinder, thought about it, and rolled off the far side on Thor. Cruel.

It started as a hard box out and it ended with Thor throwing an elbow the crew could not possibly ignore.

Ohhh no. Corner three, Boston Ring-Chasers in rhythm now, and our side of the building goes silent.

Total control. Chris Paul has this thing on a string. The player pulls out the crossover of his life, and Monday morning he clocks in like nothing ever happened. Two points left on the floor by Thor, and those are exactly the ones that come back to bite you in the fourth.

Chris Paul stutters at the elbow, the defender bites on it, and now there is nothing but open floor between him and the rim. Wrapped up the arm on the gather, plain as day. Chris Paul gets two, and the bench is already standing. First one drops clean through, the second one never even touches iron. Cold blooded from Chris Paul.

Nobody on the bench is sitting. Not the coaches, not the trainers, not the guy in the suit who never plays. Chris Paul points at all of them at once with both hands. Towels come down like weather and the officials wait it out with the patience of the doomed.

First option: Chris Paul. Everything else on that clipboard is decoration. Coach spent a timeout on a play for the player and it worked to the inch. That is trust you do not fake.

Chris Paul walks like someone carrying the weight of the world. Stephen Curry drags one foot after the other. And here is the answer to our game The Dating Game of Horseshoes! Sherman Pilkington of Chicken Bristle, Rhode Island, got it right. The question, let me remind you, was 'What is the world record for longest halftime shot made by a man holding a soft drink?' The answer was of course forty-one feet, and he did not spill a drop, which is the real story. Sherman takes home a cast-iron skillet seasoned by four generations of strangers! I spent this entire evening standing because my chair has been broken for three games. Nobody fixes it. That's it. Up next: 'Anthony Bourdain Visits: The Park-and-Ride in Poughkeepsie.' Culture shock.

Matchday 14 — vs San Antonio Skyscrapers

82-126 (L)

Turnover, layup, San Antonio Skyscrapers straight through us in transition. Careless basketball.

The defense keeps turning contested looks by Chris Paul into free points. STOP REACHING. Three dribbles, a deep breath, a nice smooth release from Chris Paul, and then a whole lot of nothing.

Dagger from San Antonio Skyscrapers. You could hear the air leave this arena on that one.

Stephen Curry turns and points at his teammates, and the entire bench comes up as one. The chasedown is the hardest hustle play in this sport, and Stephen Curry just made it look routine.

That is the pass nobody puts on a highlight reel, and Thor makes it every single trip down the floor. Unselfish basketball. Chris Paul passes up a good shot and hands Stephen Curry a GREAT one. The crowd has found its chant, and Stephen Curry is going to be hearing it all night.

Coach calls everyone back. Stephen Curry drags his feet toward the tunnel. True story: Stephen Curry walked into the wrong locker room during his first game against San Antonio Skyscrapers. Awkward. And now, our halftime TV game show High Rollers Low Ceilings! To win a beach towel printed with a map of a landlocked county, text HOOPS to 555-1024 and answer this question: 'How many timeouts can a coach call before the crowd revolts?' The buzzer calls the players. Time for the show, act II.

Ohhh no. Corner three, San Antonio Skyscrapers in rhythm now, and our side of the building goes silent.

Ball moves. Chris Paul to Stephen Curry, on time and on target. Handoff, turn the corner, BUCKET! Stephen Curry did all the dirty work on that one. Give and go! Chris Paul gives it up, cuts, and gets it right back with a clear lane to the cup! OHHHH the FADEAWAY! Chris Paul rises over the defender and it falls through.

More second chance points for San Antonio Skyscrapers, and our bench is up screaming for a timeout. Rightly so.

Stephen Curry sizes him up from twenty-five feet, two hard dribbles right, a shoulder fake, and the crowd starts to rise. Back breaker. A four point play swings this thing by two full possessions, and Stephen Curry did it with a hand in his face.

San Antonio Skyscrapers again, and again nobody is home. Three straight trips down the floor with zero resistance.

The ball travels faster than five defenders can, and Chris Paul has known that all night long. GONE down the baseline! Stephen Curry beat him on the first step and the paint is collapsing. In, around, and gone. The iron gives Stephen Curry nothing.

The defender crowded the middle, and Stephen Curry punished him along the baseline like it was drawn up in the huddle. DOUBLE DRIBBLE! Stephen Curry picked it up, put it back down, and the whistle went off like a smoke alarm.

One hard step and Stephen Curry owns that whole side of the floor, which means the low man has to make a decision he does not want. REJECTED! Stephen Curry takes it in and gets it sent straight back into his own chest.

Two defenders, one gap, and Thor finds it. Onions on that pass. Stuck out on the perimeter with no outlet, Stephen Curry panics, re-dribbles, and hands the possession over on a silver platter.

Push the pace! Chris Paul grabs it and hits Thor in stride before the defense can even match up. A probe, a plant of the outside foot, and Thor pushes off while his man is still fighting to recover his balance. Pull-up from the elbow by Thor, halfway down, spinning inside the iron, and it pops right back out.

Thor punches his locker when he gets to the locker room. Stephen Curry slides down the wall to the floor. And here is the answer to our game show High Rollers Low Ceilings! Marlene Trickett of Cornsilk Junction, South Dakota, got it right. The question, I remind you, was 'How many timeouts can a coach call before the crowd revolts?' The answer was of course three, and the fourth one starts a conversation nobody enjoys. Marlene therefore wins a beach towel printed with a map of a landlocked county! My chair squeaked the entire game. Everyone thinks it was me. It was not me. That's a wrap! Coming up: 'What Would You Do: People Who Say Hello in the Elevator.' Exposing the truth.

Matchday 15 — vs Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest

78-123 (L)

Won it clean! Thor got up and over him with room to spare.

Turnover, layup, Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest straight through us in transition. Careless basketball.

Active hands, quiet stat sheet. Stephen Curry has been poking at everything that moves for two straight quarters. Everything starts with that release, Stephen Curry hitting Chris Paul in full flight before the defense has even turned around. Touch pass from Stephen Curry, and Chris Paul glides in for the finger roll. Filthy.

Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest again, and again nobody is home. Three straight trips down the floor with zero resistance.

Look how low Stephen Curry keeps that shoulder on the drive, that is how you turn a sliver of space into a walk to the rim. BANG is what Stephen Curry was hearing in his head. Clang is what this building actually got.

Halftime! Thor walks barefoot on the cold tunnel tiles. Physio's confession: Thor purrs when you massage his calves. Like a cat. A big cat. And now, our halftime TV game show Second Chance Second Half! To win a hand painted mailbox shaped like a catfish, text HOOPS to 555-1006 and answer this question: 'What is the population of a town on the night of a rivalry game?' Back in action! The coach got the message across.

That is the pass nobody puts on a highlight reel, and Chris Paul makes it every single trip down the floor. The defender crowded the middle, and Stephen Curry punished him along the baseline like it was drawn up in the huddle. BAAAANG! Stephen Curry catches it and lets it FLY, nothing but net from the corner!

Across half court, a quick survey, a point to the weak side, and Chris Paul drops it off to Thor on time and on target. Full stop, full sprint, and the player is in the paint! Nobody back at the workplace is going to believe this one. Thor blows the wide open layup!

Bucket for Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest. Wide open look, and nobody even ran at the shooter.

Stephen Curry flies at a jump shooter thirty feet from the rim and lands on his hip. Three shots coming. Stephen Curry reaches, gets caught, whistle. Third personal, and the coach immediately looks down his bench.

And there it is, a walk-in layup for Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest with not one hand raised in the paint. Somebody has to protect that rim.

You want basketball IQ? Ask the player, who just moved the rock on time without one wasted dribble. Dribble alive, patient, patient, and then Chris Paul slips it to Stephen Curry right in the pocket. Surgical. Down, up, and gone for Stephen Curry. The rim is just toying with him now.

Total control. Chris Paul has this thing on a string. Ball into Stephen Curry at the elbow, Thor plants his foot and goes backdoor, and the pass meets him in the air. Filthy. Nobody drew up that arc. The player floated one halfway to the rafters, and the rim never even got a say.

Nobody boxed out. Tip in, Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest, and two of ours were standing right there watching it happen.

Here comes the slip from Stephen Curry, and Chris Paul reads it a half second before anybody else in the building. That is a dime from Chris Paul that deserved so much better, and Stephen Curry knows it, head down, jogging back before the ball even lands.

Not pretty, but this is arithmetic now. Stephen Curry trades one foul for one more possession, and down five with a minute left, that math works.

Chris Paul's brow is furrowed, lips pressed thin. Stephen Curry breathes through his nose, hard, steady, trying to calm down. And here is the answer to our game show Second Chance Second Half! Hoyt Pennington of Dishrag Springs, Oregon, got it right. The question, I remind you, was 'What is the population of a town on the night of a rivalry game?' The answer was of course the whole town plus forty people who moved away in 1987. Hoyt therefore wins a hand painted mailbox shaped like a catfish! As for me, I powered through three coffees and a gas station sandwich. The glamorous life of sports journalism. Alright, good night! Up next: 'Planet Earth: Exploring the World from My Couch.' Immersive documentary.