My dream starting five — basketball_team 🇺🇸
5 members · TeamBranch
Season Journal
Standings
| # | Team | W | L | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | San Antonio Skyscrapers | 14 | 1 | 28 |
| 2 | Detroit Engine-Roar | 13 | 2 | 26 |
| 3 | Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 4 | Boston Ring-Chasers | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 5 | New York Over-Timers | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 6 | Cleveland Twin-Towers | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 7 | My Team | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 8 | Houston Blast-Off | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 9 | Denver Horse-Track | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 10 | Toronto Border-Patrol | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 11 | Minnesota Ice-Wall | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 12 | Los Angeles Nursing-Home | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 13 | Phoenix No-Defense | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 14 | Orlando Magic-Beans | 3 | 12 | 6 |
| 15 | Philadelphia Injury-Report | 3 | 12 | 6 |
| 16 | Miami Heart-Attack | 3 | 12 | 6 |
Pre-season
Get comfortable because tonight, we are about to witness something special. I can feel it. It's in the air, it's in the eyes, it's in the low rumble of 20,000 people who know they're about to live through a moment. The franchise about to step onto this court has seen it all, lived it all: legendary triple-doubles, buzzer-beating heartbreaks, 15-point fourth-quarter comebacks, and losses that shatter careers. But they're here, still and always, with that burning desire to tear everything apart. The team with no name, baby! Yeah sure, it's a team sport, we all agree on that. But when you've got Larry Bird on your roster, the word "team" basically means him plus four guys who pass him the ball. Standing at 206 cm, a first step more explosive than a rocket launch, and a fadeaway so silky that even the defenders applaud as they watch him score. Scouts had this dude flagged at 14. By 16, he was beating pros. Today? He's embarrassing them. But what truly terrifies opponents isn't his highlights, it's his head. Look into his eyes during crunch time. There's nothing there. No stress, no doubt, just a killer's stare that says "give me the ball and get the hell out of the way." Opposing coaches have tried double-teams, triple-teams, zone defense, trash talk, Hack-a-Shaq... Nothing works. The man is programmed for clutch moments. It's genetic, and there's not a damn thing anyone can do about it. The budget, let's talk about it. Or actually, let's not, because it'll make you dizzy. We're beyond the luxury tax, beyond the second apron, we're in a zone that even the league's tax accountants struggle to calculate. The owner burns cash like others burn firewood, and he doesn't bat an eye. Every season this team doesn't win the title is a financial scandal. The pressure is absolute, the talent is maximal, and the margin for error is zero. Welcome to the world of superteams, where failure isn't an option, it's a public humiliation.
Matchday 1 — vs Detroit Engine-Roar
87-130 (L)
Tip-off! Larry Bird gets us started! Let's go!
Darryn Peterson forces up a double-clutch layup over the defense! Shaky emotions under pressure! Bad decision!
Larry Bird throws it into the stands! What was that from this headliner!
Kevin Love reacts too late to rotate! Hot head on the help side!
Kevin Love mouths off and picks up a T! Limited stamina taking over!
Break! Larry Bird grabs an ice bag and slaps it on his knee. Did you know Larry Bird started basketball because he was terrible at soccer? Sometimes failure leads to greatness. Both teams return with fresh instructions from the coach.
Rajon Rondo misfires from the left corner! This name that's buzzing searching for answers!
This name that's buzzing Kevin Love has heavy legs! The pace has been brutal!
This name that's buzzing Kevin Love with turnover number points! Shaky emotions under pressure is piling up!
Rajon Rondo storms to the bench! This player on the come-up is visibly upset!
Kevin Love reflects on what could have been. Tendency to force bad shots the difference tonight.
Larry Bird's gaze is cold, distant. Darryn Peterson's gaze is hot, angry. I spent this game nervously chewing gum. I'm on my seventh piece. Off to bed! Or stay for 'Real Housewives of the DMV.' The line is around the block.
Matchday 2 — vs Miami Heart-Attack
129-95 (W)
Darryn Peterson, this surprise package, draws first blood! An alley-oop to start!
Rajon Rondo goes coast to coast for a step-back three! This solid pro is relentless!
Larry Bird with the bounce pass! This franchise guy threading it perfectly!
This next-level player Rajon Rondo with a cold-blooded double-clutch layup! No conscience!
Rajon Rondo anticipates the cut and deflects the Wilson! This player making noise reading minds!
The players disappear into the tunnel. Rajon Rondo asks for an ice pack. Anecdote: Rajon Rondo fell asleep on the bench during an exhibition game. Still got named MVP. Break's over, the players take their positions.
Rajon Rondo with the tough sky hook through contact! This up-and-coming baller won't be denied!
Rajon Rondo, this swiss-army-knife type, caps off a dominant performance! Ridiculous creativity from start to finish!
This jersey-selling name Larry Bird celebrates too early! A sky hook didn't count! Awkward!
This jersey-selling name Larry Bird holds up three fingers! A bench mob celebration after the triple!
DeAndre Jordan, this solid pro, embraces the teammates! A primal scream! Sweet victory!
Rajon Rondo moonwalks across the hardwood. Darryn Peterson attempts the worm. One of them pulls it off. On my end, I discovered the arena's coffee machine was broken. The game nearly went uncommentated. We're done for tonight. And now: 'Ancient Aliens: The True History of the Coffee Break.'
Matchday 3 — vs Orlando Magic-Beans
118-95 (W)
DeAndre Jordan, this player making noise, embraces the wild stands! Game on!
A bank shot from Rajon Rondo! This respected competitor is putting on a show tonight!
Darryn Peterson a ball recovery with authority! This beanpole protecting the paint!
This multi-time All-Star Larry Bird with the behind-the-back dish! Highlight-reel pass!
Kevin Love, this seasoned vet, manages the clock beautifully in the first half!
Halftime. Rajon Rondo wolfs down an energy bar in two bites. Fun fact: Rajon Rondo blocked a shot in the finals... And dislocated a thumb celebrating. Classic. The locker room empties, the court fills up. Act 2.
An and-one from Larry Bird! That's a killer instinct at the highest level!
Listen to that roar! Kevin Love pulls up and the place explodes!
Kevin Love, this up-and-coming baller, runs the play exactly as drawn! Execution!
Darryn Peterson leaves it all on the floor! This raw talent with an off-the-charts basketball IQ effort!
DeAndre Jordan launches into the tunnel with the W! This up-and-coming baller all smiles!
Darryn Peterson points both hands at the sky. Larry Bird points at Darryn Peterson. Kevin Love points at the exit. I learned backstage that Larry Bird also does volunteer firefighter on weekends. That explains those reflexes. Good night everyone! Up next: 'Worst Cooks in America: Boiling an Egg Without Breaking It.' Challenge accepted.
Matchday 4 — vs Philadelphia Injury-Report
131-93 (W)
DeAndre Jordan rises up into position! This seasoned vet not wasting any time!
This headliner Larry Bird finishes with authority! A thunderous slam off the pick and roll!
Larry Bird goes to work and dishes! Gorgeous feed off the pick and roll! Unreal swagger!
Larry Bird dribbles the ball with purpose! An off-balance shot! This All-Star caliber talent means business!
Kevin Love with the huge flawless defensive rotation at the top of the key! This player making noise says no!
The players head to the locker room. Rajon Rondo is sweating like a racehorse. True story: Rajon Rondo walked into the wrong locker room during his first game against Philadelphia Injury-Report. Awkward. Here we go again. The players have changed jerseys.
Larry Bird scores at will! A free throw from mid-range! This world-class player domination!
Rajon Rondo fades away with confidence! The game is well in hand for this hooper's hooper!
This name that's buzzing Kevin Love calls for the rock but trips over the baseline! Comedy gold!
Darryn Peterson pulls up to center court! A raised fist! This unknown gem owns the moment!
That's the game! Darryn Peterson finishes with a monster performance! This potential breakout star victorious!
Kevin Love pretends to plant a flag at center court. DeAndre Jordan stands at attention. Tonight I chewed through two pens. The office supply budget is going to explode. That's it. Up next: 'Anthony Bourdain Visits: The Park-and-Ride in Poughkeepsie.' Culture shock.
Matchday 5 — vs Phoenix No-Defense
104-108 (L)
Darryn Peterson, this mammoth, announced to huge cheers! A Playoff atmosphere!
Larry Bird with the highlight-reel double-clutch layup! This multi-time All-Star owning the moment!
Darryn Peterson, this beanpole, gets dunked on from the right corner! Poster material!
A step-back three from Kevin Love hits the iron! Hot head under the spotlight!
Rajon Rondo forces the turnover! This name that's buzzing creating opportunities on both ends!
Halftime whistle. Rajon Rondo flops into the first available chair. Little scoop: Rajon Rondo logs every game in a notebook. With stars and smiley faces. At that age. Here we go. Tactical adjustments have been made.
Kevin Love misses in the clutch! A catch-and-shoot triple off the mark in the fourth quarter!
This league veteran Rajon Rondo fouls hard out of frustration! Sometimes predictable game showing!
The legend of Kevin Love grows! This player on the come-up adding another chapter at the buzzer!
Rajon Rondo turns it over on a strategic timeout! This player on the come-up crumbles under pressure!
Rajon Rondo, this swiss-army-knife type, trudges off the palace of hoops. Lessons to take from this one.
Larry Bird and DeAndre Jordan walk side by side without looking at each other. The silence is deafening. I spent the evening standing up and sitting down every thirty seconds. My Fitbit is congratulating me. Good night! Up next: 'My 600-Lb Neighbor: He Makes Noise at 3 AM.' Shocking testimonies.
Matchday 6 — vs Los Angeles Nursing-Home
105-104 (W)
Larry Bird, this big fella, sets the tone immediately! Natural-born leadership from the jump!
Darryn Peterson, this total unknown, walls up at the buzzer! Impenetrable defense!
This rising star Darryn Peterson puts up a bank shot but it won't fall! Off night!
This respected competitor Kevin Love is automatic driving to the hoop! A euro-step drops again!
Larry Bird makes the hockey pass! A gym-rat work ethic finding the extra pass!
Halftime whistle. Larry Bird spits into the trash can walking into the locker room. Did you know Larry Bird entered the dunk contest... At 5'9"? Courage knows no height. Resumption imminent. The players wrap up their express warm-up.
Darryn Peterson, this guy nobody was talking about, with the clutch crucial offensive board! On the inbound pass stop!
Darryn Peterson with the suffocating defense! This hungry young player is a wall out there!
The fans sense it coming! The energy is building as Rajon Rondo gets hot!
DeAndre Jordan, this big fella, comes up big! A euro-step in the money time! Legend!
This legit talent Kevin Love thanks the fans! The crowd is on its feet! What a ride!
Darryn Peterson makes a heart with his hands toward the camera. Rajon Rondo makes a bigger heart. DeAndre Jordan makes a massive heart. I learned tonight that Darryn Peterson used to be a volunteer firefighter. That explains the unique running style. See you tomorrow! Up next: 'Extreme Reading: The Terms and Conditions.' 4-hour special.
Matchday 7 — vs Toronto Border-Patrol
127-95 (W)
Rajon Rondo looks dialed in from the start! A killer instinct preparation showing!
Rajon Rondo, this next-level player, reads the play perfectly and delivers a tear drop!
This next-level player Kevin Love takes the charge from the left corner! Gutsy play!
Darryn Peterson with the hockey assist! That extra pass, beautiful basketball!
Kevin Love sets the screen at the perfect angle! This league veteran cerebral play!
Break. Rajon Rondo collapses next to the vending machine. Did you know Rajon Rondo entered the dunk contest... At 5'9"? Courage knows no height. The players step onto the hardwood once more. The second half starts now.
Rajon Rondo attacks the damn ball beautifully for a fadeaway jumper! What touch!
This well-respected player Rajon Rondo brings a packed arena to a new level! Incredible scene!
This All-Star caliber talent Larry Bird runs the rock patiently! Searching for the perfect shot!
This seasoned vet Kevin Love with a performance for the ages! A live masterclass chapter!
Kevin Love, this giant, celebrates the win! An ice-cold stare at the opposing bench! What a game!
Darryn Peterson makes a heart with his hands toward the camera. Larry Bird makes a bigger heart. DeAndre Jordan makes a massive heart. Meanwhile, your favorite commentator spilled coffee on the mixing board. Twice. We're done for tonight. And now: 'Ancient Aliens: The True History of the Coffee Break.'
Matchday 8 — vs Minnesota Ice-Wall
102-103 (L)
Larry Bird, this giant, is introduced and the arena explodes! This multi-time All-Star is in the building!
DeAndre Jordan, this oversized freak, muscles in for a pull-up jumper! Pure power!
DeAndre Jordan gets crossed over! This up-and-coming baller left frozen from way beyond the arc!
DeAndre Jordan, this player on the come-up, with the shot-clock heave! No good from mid-range!
Rajon Rondo, this do-it-all player, blocks the shot and starts the break! Comeback!
Halftime! Kevin Love is limping slightly heading off the court. Exclusive info: Kevin Love is banned for life from the McDonald's near the arena. The details remain murky. Here they come. You can read the determination on their faces.
This hooper's hooper Kevin Love picks up the foul at the last second! Terrible timing!
Larry Bird, this multi-time All-Star, with the frustrated foul! Shaky emotions under pressure in tough moments!
Remember this moment! Rajon Rondo is making history with a thunderous slam!
Larry Bird, this 7-footer, rattles out the free throw! Occasional mental lapses getting the best of this headliner!
Larry Bird, this established star, will be back stronger. This defeat fuels the fire.
Larry Bird turns back to look at the court one last time. Darryn Peterson doesn't turn around. During the break, I tried doing crunches behind the console. My back remembers. Thanks for being here. Now put down the remote, it's time for 'Wheel of Misfortune.'
Matchday 9 — vs Houston Blast-Off
110-104 (W)
Darryn Peterson opens with a layup! This unknown gem making an early statement!
This up-and-coming baller Kevin Love erupts for a sky hook! The floodgates are open!
DeAndre Jordan with a textbook defensive stance! That's how you do it!
This who-is-this-guy player Darryn Peterson finds the open man! Assist and a sky hook!
Kevin Love spaces the floor perfectly! Great read of the system!
Back to the locker room. Larry Bird punches his locker. Little secret: Larry Bird has a secret TikTok account with 12 followers. Posts cooking tutorials. Both teams emerge from the tunnel. The second half can begin.
Darryn Peterson crosses over the Wilson with flair and hits a deep three! Sensational!
Rajon Rondo, this tweener, commands a standing ovation! The arena belongs to this legit talent!
Larry Bird, this long boy, sets the perfect screen! That dawg mentality for the team!
DeAndre Jordan, this colossus, carries the weight of the team on those shoulders!
Kevin Love sits on the bench with a smile! This name that's buzzing job well done!
Rajon Rondo dumps his Gatorade on Darryn Peterson who screams because it was cold. Larry Bird piles on. Tonight I had a revelation: Darryn Peterson runs exactly like my neighbor when he misses the bus. Good night everyone! And now, the show nobody asked for: 'Pigeon Hunters.'
Matchday 10 — vs Denver Horse-Track
109-102 (W)
This guy with a proven track record DeAndre Jordan comes out aggressive! Opens with a double-clutch layup from downtown!
What a play by Rajon Rondo! A free throw under the basket! This dude putting the league on notice is cooking!
This legit talent Rajon Rondo comes up with a massive steal! Transition time!
This dude putting the league on notice Rajon Rondo with the one-handed bullet pass! Right on the money!
This multi-time All-Star Larry Bird sets the back screen! Insane court vision off-ball contribution!
Halftime! Rajon Rondo is limping slightly heading off the court. They say Rajon Rondo has a ritual where he touches the basket post three times. If someone watches, starts over. The players are back. Some look fresh, others... Not so much.
Larry Bird strings together a double-clutch layup driving to the hoop. Freakish explosiveness on full display!
A cathedral silence fills the arena! This hidden prospect Darryn Peterson feeds off the energy!
Kevin Love sacrifices the body taking the charge! This dude putting the league on notice ultimate teammate!
The narrative shifts! DeAndre Jordan takes control with a gym-rat work ethic!
Rajon Rondo drives in triumph! The final buzzer sounds! That's a W!
Larry Bird grabs the PA announcer's mic and shouts Darryn Peterson's name. The announcer chases him. Fun fact: my driver has been waiting in the parking lot for an hour. He's sent me 14 messages. Good night! And now: 'Naked and Afraid: Lost in the Shopping Mall.'
Matchday 11 — vs New York Over-Timers
111-103 (W)
This legit talent DeAndre Jordan comes out firing! A floater in the first minute!
DeAndre Jordan buries a finger roll facing the rim! This dude putting the league on notice is on fire tonight!
Larry Bird, this towering presence, covers ground to get the defensive rebound! Wow!
DeAndre Jordan, this solid pro, drives and kicks! Perfect assist for a half-court heave!
Larry Bird fires away into the right spacing! Iron discipline and elite court awareness!
Rest. Rajon Rondo buries his head in a wet towel and doesn't move. Little scoop: Rajon Rondo tried to bribe the DJ to play his song. The DJ agreed. Nobody liked it. Tipoff! The ball bounces, the arena vibrates, we're back.
DeAndre Jordan, this solid pro, exploits the mismatch for a pull-up jumper! Too easy!
The energy in this building is unreal! Rajon Rondo channeling wild stands!
This max-contract guy Larry Bird dives for the loose ball! A gym-rat work ethic on every play!
Darryn Peterson pulls up with purpose! Natural-born leadership driving this team forward!
Larry Bird pumps the fist as the buzzer goes! This established star savors the win!
Larry Bird grabs Darryn Peterson and hoists him onto his shoulders. Kevin Love tries to climb on too. It ends in a pile. Tonight my colleague told me I smell like stress. I told him it was my cologne. Good evening! Coming up: 'Dancing with the Stars: My Cousin's Wedding Edition.' Open bar.
Matchday 12 — vs Cleveland Twin-Towers
81-111 (L)
DeAndre Jordan, this colossus, takes the court! The hostile crowd is electric!
Rajon Rondo air-mails a bucket from mid-range! Way off for this established player!
Rajon Rondo throws it away! Ego the size of Texas under pressure off the pick and roll!
Darryn Peterson overcommits and gets beat! Occasional mental lapses when reading the play!
Larry Bird gets a technical for complaining! Heavy feet on full display!
Halftime whistle. Larry Bird spits into the trash can walking into the locker room. Little secret: Larry Bird listens to Celine Dion to focus. I repeat, Celine Dion. Jump ball to restart. Let the second half begin!
Kevin Love fires a pull-up jumper at the buzzer but can't connect! Heavy feet showing!
Rajon Rondo grabs the shorts! This seasoned vet is running on fumes!
Rajon Rondo launches the pill right to the defense! Costly mistake by this solid pro!
Darryn Peterson, this hungry young player, refuses to high-five! Limited stamina hurting the chemistry!
This certified bucket Larry Bird shakes hands and moves on. In the end, limited stamina proved costly.
Rajon Rondo watches the crowd file out in silence. Kevin Love prefers not to look. I got a text from Rajon Rondo after the game. Just kidding. Nobody texts me. That's a wrap for tonight. Coming up: 'The Amazing Race: Subway Line 13.' Viewer discretion advised.
Matchday 13 — vs Boston Ring-Chasers
118-103 (W)
Larry Bird rises up onto the floor! The crowd roars for this bonafide star!
A step-back three by Rajon Rondo facing the rim! A gym-rat work ethic in every fiber!
Rajon Rondo pressures the inbound! This seasoned vet with relentless freakish explosiveness!
Rajon Rondo blows past into the lane and kicks out! Insane court vision and great decision-making!
Kevin Love, this towering presence, positions perfectly for the offensive rebound! Silky smooth technique!
Halftime. Kevin Love's hair is completely soaked, like climbing out of a pool. Anecdote: Kevin Love tried to impress the Boston Ring-Chasers players with a warm-up dunk. Hit the rim. With his face. The players are back. The court had time to dry, at least.
Kevin Love, this legit talent, operates from the right corner with a finger roll! Clinic!
This player on the come-up DeAndre Jordan silences the hostile crowd! A packed arena shifts!
Darryn Peterson finds the open teammate! This surprise package making everyone better!
The transformation of Larry Bird is complete! This reliable star has arrived!
Kevin Love, this mountain of a man, salutes the faithful! A primal scream! What a night!
Rajon Rondo and Larry Bird cradle the game ball like a baby. Darryn Peterson takes a photo. On my end, I ate peanuts through the entire third quarter. Salt is my drug of choice. That's it for tonight. Coming up: 'True Confessions: I Put Ketchup on Pasta.'
Matchday 14 — vs San Antonio Skyscrapers
90-105 (L)
Rajon Rondo steps back with energy from the opening whistle! This legit talent locked in!
Larry Bird forces a deep three from the right corner! This world-class player trying too hard!
Kevin Love coughs up the orange! Tendency to force bad shots strikes again at half court!
This guy with a proven track record DeAndre Jordan fouls reaching in! Occasional mental lapses on defense!
Larry Bird knocks down a bucket from way beyond the arc! Ice in the veins!
Back to the locker room. DeAndre Jordan punches his locker. Confession: DeAndre Jordan tried yoga. Lasted two sessions before declaring it a combat sport. We're back at it. The crowd had time to reload at the snack bar.
DeAndre Jordan slams the ball in frustration! Shaky emotions under pressure on full display!
This potential breakout star Darryn Peterson short-arms a deep three in transition! Not enough lift!
Larry Bird, this All-Star caliber talent, orchestrates the delay game! Eyes in the back of the head in action!
Larry Bird, this established star, is dragging! The this ball game minutes taking their toll!
Kevin Love walks off in silence. This respected competitor gave it all but it wasn't enough.
Larry Bird takes a sip of water and spits it right back out. Darryn Peterson doesn't drink. Throat too tight. Tonight my colleague told me I smell like stress. I told him it was my cologne. Thanks for tonight. And now: '60 Minutes: The Secrets of the Office Coffee Machine.'
Matchday 15 — vs Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest
96-109 (L)
This established player Rajon Rondo gets the crowd going early! The energy is building!
This rising star Darryn Peterson with a rare miss at the top of the key! Even the best stumble!
This franchise guy Larry Bird forces a pass into double coverage! Picked off!
Darryn Peterson loses the screen battle! Sometimes predictable game around the picks!
DeAndre Jordan shoots the pill with iron discipline. And it drops! Nothing you can do!
Off to the locker room. DeAndre Jordan has already drained two water bottles. Fun fact: DeAndre Jordan blocked a shot in the finals... And dislocated a thumb celebrating. Classic. The buzzer calls the players. Time for the show, act II.
Darryn Peterson, this tower, shows negative body language! Injury-prone body creeping in!
Rajon Rondo, this legit talent, sends the pill wide! The touch is off tonight!
Rajon Rondo reads the defense perfectly! An off-the-charts basketball IQ and a sky-high basketball IQ!
Darryn Peterson misses from fatigue! This unknown gem can't get the elevation driving to the hoop!
This potential breakout star Darryn Peterson tips the hat to the winner. Respect despite the pain.
Rajon Rondo sits on the floor in the hallway. Darryn Peterson sits down next to him. Nobody speaks. I spent my evening screaming into a microphone, and honestly, I'd do it all over again. Good night! Up next: 'America's Got Talent: Mouth Noises Edition.' The judges are baffled.
My Team ends the season #7 with a 9W-6L record. Season MVP: Larry Bird.
Season journal
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